How does DONN get his teeth so white? …
Will BEAST ever do a load of laundry? And if so, will the stench ever come out of his stinky duvet?
Who will be the next Mr. Nude Infomaniac to replace DAMIEN?
When will ROSES admit she has a drinking problem?
Will GINRO ever become somebody’s baby daddy?
Will AYEM8Y win the Best Moaner award for his starring role in the movie Truck Stop Trollop?
Will IVD’s warty wand eventually rot and fall off? …
Will CYBERPETE ever send The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to DONN?
Will KAZ ever vote Tory?
When will EROSWINGS submit his booty to our Gallery of Alluring Arses?
Will MAGO get the snakeskin boots he so desires?
Will Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer, XL, smother her with one of her own pillows?
Will MANUEL shave off all his body hair? ...
Will Infomaniac newcomer MICHAEL RIVERS ever visit us again once he’s seen a Filthy Friday here?
If SAVANNAH moved to Atlanta, would she have to change her name?
Will JASON ever decide which Hallowe’en costume to wear?
Will MS. NATIONS give up her obsession with raising a “metric shitton of goddangedy freakin' tomatoes" and return to blogging?
Will BOXER find competent temps? How many more dogs will she get?
Will GEOFF and BETTY ever attend another social event in their lifetime?
Will MISS SCARLET have anything else named after her besides a cow and the transsexual spider that lives in Mistress MJ’s powder room? Will she ever tame her unruly bush?
Under that Bree Van de Kamp wig, is MR. FROBISHER a natural redhead? …
Will MITZI’S bruised coccyx heal in time that she may resurrect her floundering career as a Bonnie Tyler impersonator?
Will OLD KNUDSEN overcome his fear of lemurs?
Is NORMADESMOND ready for her close-up?
What will LEAH fetishize next? And will she knit a life-size Severus Snape?
Will GARFER wake up next to Carla Bruni serenading him with the Gallic version of 'Sweet Home Alabama' played on his trombone?
When will THOMBEAU call a Board of Directors meeting on Fabulon?
Where is MR. PEENEE?
Will MR. MUTLEY continue to be bothered by Icelandic swingers since he was wrongly listed as "Britains top dogger" on the Reykjavik wife swappers club website?
Whose farts smell worse? TAZZY’S or PIGGY’s?
Has HEFF ever met a beer he didn’t like?
Is WIL willing? Will Wil? Well? Will he? What?
Yes, folks. These are just a few of the many questions that keep us awake at night.
These and …
Who wrote the Book of Love?
Note: No new post 'til Friday. There's another one below this if you missed it and still need something to do.
YAY First!
ReplyDeleteAlex Comfort, if I remember well.
ReplyDeleteDammit, third! Mago!!!!
ReplyDeleteno, leah, y'all are second, i'm third...dammit! xoxoxo
ReplyDeletecongratulations on being first, mago! xoxox
ReplyDeletePerhaps this will provide some relief?
ReplyDeleteMAGO: YAY First!
ReplyDeleteAlex Comfort, if I remember well.
Followed years later by Sue Johanson.
LEAH & SAVANNAH: Don’t you have anything ELSE to say?
XL: Perhaps this will provide some relief?
I’ll just put it on my shelf along with these.
All was going well until I encountered IVD's warty wand !
ReplyDeleteWhich has probably been said on numerous occasions in the past
"Will IVD’s warty wand eventually rot and fall off?"
ReplyDeleteLooking into the bag of peanut puffs I am currently eating (or at least I was trying to), it appears that it already has :s
The answer to the question regarding Donnn, TFGES and myself is, eventually.
ReplyDeleteI'm rubbish at getting things posted. I may cut holes in certain places before posting them. Just to be sure to catch a glimpse of something.
BEAST: All was going well until I encountered IVD's warty wand !
ReplyDeleteWhich has probably been said on numerous occasions in the past
From the lips of every serviceman in the Royal Navy, no doubt.
GINRO: "Will IVD’s warty wand eventually rot and fall off?"
Looking into the bag of peanut puffs I am currently eating (or at least I was trying to), it appears that it already has :s
Is that an emoticon at the end of your sentence or do you have sausage fingers?
CYBERPOOF: The answer to the question regarding Donnn, TFGES and myself is, eventually.
I'm rubbish at getting things posted. I may cut holes in certain places before posting them. Just to be sure to catch a glimpse of something.
TFGES sabotage!
THAT
ReplyDeleteIS
ReplyDeleteNOT
ReplyDeleteMY
ReplyDeleteWAND!
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm back in the saddle and raring to go!
ReplyDeleteYes Mistress, it was an emoticon. And the postcard still isn't here.
ReplyDeleteInexplicable DeVice said...
THAT
IS
NOT
MY
WAND!
Well no, not any more. It looks suspiciously like the contents of my bag of corn snack peanut puffs :s :s :s
*snip snip* Oooooopsie! I'm so clumsy.
ReplyDeleteIVD: THAT
ReplyDeleteIS
NOT
MY
WAND!
Perhaps using the present tense was a mistake.
That WAS your wand...past tense.
Before it rotted and fell off!
MITZI: Yes, I'm back in the saddle and raring to go!
And you’re wise not to ride bareback!
GINRO: Yes Mistress, it was an emoticon. And the postcard still isn't here.
Inexplicable DeVice said...
THAT
IS
NOT
MY
WAND!
Well no, not any more. It looks suspiciously like the contents of my bag of corn snack peanut puffs :s :s :s
You Brits and your peculiar cuisine.
CYBERPOOF: *snip snip* Oooooopsie! I'm so clumsy.
You DO realize, don’t you, that by procrastinating, you’re denying the rest of us from seeing Donn in The Shorts?
Jesus Christ wrote the book of love in his own blood.
ReplyDeleteMe and Betty may have a family meal to go to in the next month or so. Pray for us.
If I understood Donnn's last post right he became mutilated. Poor man. He needs lots of understanding, Pete.
ReplyDeleteI was at the Dentist last night for my weekly cleaning.
ReplyDeleteThe assistant is a lovely gal who insists on putting me under while she works on me.
When I got ready for bed last night, I noticed that my smalls were on backwards.
:)
....and speaking of freakin green elf shorts..CyberPlease Pete?
ReplyDeleteI need those asap so that I can go out in style on my 600th post.
then I expect an extra special filthy Friday if you're going to take a "personal day". However, the crusty penis you posted is (so far) your "best".
ReplyDelete...update: A stapler has just been named after me...
ReplyDeleteCrikey, I'm going to be up all night pondering these questions now.
Sx
collar and cuffs, MJ. Collar and cuffs!
ReplyDeleteGEOFF: Jesus Christ wrote the book of love in his own blood.
ReplyDeleteDid you read that in the Daily Mail?
Me and Betty may have a family meal to go to in the next month or so. Pray for us.
I’m fingering my rosary as we speak.
MAGO: If I understood Donnn's last post right he became mutilated. Poor man. He needs lots of understanding, Pete.
Mago’s right, CyberPoof.
Now’s your chance to rush to Donn's bedside.
DONN: I was at the Dentist last night for my weekly cleaning.
The assistant is a lovely gal who insists on putting me under while she works on me.
When I got ready for bed last night, I noticed that my smalls were on backwards.
:)
Not your SpongeBob smalls, surely?
DONN: ....and speaking of freakin green elf shorts..CyberPlease Pete?
I need those asap so that I can go out in style on my 600th post.
Yes, CyberPoof… what’s the holdup?
Are you still scraping glitter out of the gusset?
BOXER: then I expect an extra special filthy Friday if you're going to take a "personal day". However, the crusty penis you posted is (so far) your "best".
That is, er was, IVD’s crusty penis.
This post took so long to write, what with all the links, that I’m leaving it up an extra day so you’d better damn well read it and like it.
Not only that but I accidentally left a few folk off like Kapitano amongst others, when I didn’t cut and paste properly.
SCARLET: ...update: A stapler has just been named after me...
Crikey, I'm going to be up all night pondering these questions now.
Is it a Swingline stapler?
FROBI: collar and cuffs, MJ. Collar and cuffs!
Or curtains and carpet as they say over here.
I will have to enquire.
ReplyDeleteSx
Fine, fine. I'll give up the drink.
ReplyDeleteYou still haven't come up with any good suggestions for a vice to replace it with.
No, having Ginro's babies is not an option before you even go there. I've been done.
Besides, I don't think I've ever done anything THAT awful in my life that I would deserve that!
SCARLET: I will have to enquire.
ReplyDeleteSee that you do.
And is it a regular-sized desk stapler? Or one of those industrial staplers that you use to put up notices on telephone poles? Or is it one of those cute wee mini staplers?
ROSES: Fine, fine. I'll give up the drink.
You still haven't come up with any good suggestions for a vice to replace it with.
No, having Ginro's babies is not an option before you even go there. I've been done.
Besides, I don't think I've ever done anything THAT awful in my life that I would deserve that!
Strong words …
Have you and Ginro had a tiff?
Or is this how “Sober Roses” speaks?
Ah... apologies... it seems I mis-read... it was a staple that's been named after me...
ReplyDeleteSigh. I like the cute mini staplers though.
Sx
"Stapler" means forklifter. Once drove a trusty ol' Irion ...
ReplyDelete“Will AYEM8Y win the Best Moaner award for his starring role in the movie Truck Stop Trollop?
ReplyDeleteMoaner? I think you mean Mooner.
Besides I don’t moan.
I growl and grrr like a Truck Stop Bear.
Don't worry Mistress *sotto voce* it's all an act, no one is supposed to know. Even I didn't. See Postcard Winners thread.
ReplyDelete(Well, it's either that or she hasn't got any brothers.)
SCARLET: Ah... apologies... it seems I mis-read... it was a staple that's been named after me...
ReplyDeleteSigh. I like the cute mini staplers though.
What next?
A pushpin?
A Post-it note?
MAGO: "Stapler" means forklifter. Once drove a trusty ol' Irion ...
Good heavens!
I really MUST be careful if I’m ordering office supplies in Germany!
AYEM8Y: “Will AYEM8Y win the Best Moaner award for his starring role in the movie Truck Stop Trollop?
Moaner? I think you mean Mooner.
Besides I don’t moan.
I growl and grrr like a Truck Stop Bear.
And your next film is Moon Over Miami?
GINRO: Don't worry Mistress *sotto voce* it's all an act, no one is supposed to know. Even I didn't. See Postcard Winners thread.
(Well, it's either that or she hasn't got any brothers.)
Will someone explain what’s going ON around here?
To get back to the original question after all these dubious taste answers - I actually wrote the book of love and I don't have a warty willy like poor Mr Device....
ReplyDeleteIn that case Mutley you missed out the final chapter.
ReplyDeleteIt should go on to tell about how they fall out again, call each other names, and then post each others nuddy pics on the Interweb for revenge.
Mistress, I named my bottle of correction fluid "MJ!" Of course, it was soon after getting a bit dizzy from the fumes.
ReplyDeletewill my girlfriend see this and if she does how dead will i be?
ReplyDelete!
uh, no. why? xoxox
ReplyDeleteThat warty wand photo scares the hell out of me. Should I be very afraid of the Friday you mentioned?
ReplyDeleteDo the curtains match the rug?
ReplyDeleteYou show that warty dick one more time and I'm sending a mash note to Rush Limbaugh with your name on it..
Old Knudsen does not like the word 'fear' its more of a concern about lemurs or maybe a disturbing dislike but fear implies a sense of being English and Old Knudsen is no Sassenach.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if manuel is part lemur, that lad could be the missing link.
These same questions have plagued philosophers over the ages.
ReplyDeleteI find that if I engage in rigorous activities that leave me exhausted, I end up sleeping much better.
Perhaps a vigorous walk before dinner might help you sleep better.
I realise it's urgent but I haven't had the time and I still have to wrap my junk in a big red bow especially for Dong um I mean Donn
ReplyDeleteobviously!
MUTLEY: To get back to the original question after all these dubious taste answers - I actually wrote the book of love and I don't have a warty willy like poor Mr Device....
ReplyDeleteDid you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ‘n’ roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Poor IVD. At least he has a “front bottom” to fall back on.
GINRO: In that case Mutley you missed out the final chapter.
It should go on to tell about how they fall out again, call each other names, and then post each others nuddy pics on the Interweb for revenge.
That’s exactly as it happened in The Bible.
XL: Mistress, I named my bottle of correction fluid "MJ!" Of course, it was soon after getting a bit dizzy from the fumes.
There was a song called “Wipe Out” sung by the Surfaris.
I shall change the lyrics to “White Out”.
MANUEL: will my girlfriend see this and if she does how dead will i be?
!
Not to worry.
If your girlfriend leaves you over this, we’ll fix you up through the Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.
SAVANNAH: uh, no. why? xoxox
Well, your name is Savannah and you live in Savannah so if you move AWAY from Savannah…
Never mind. You had to be there.
MICHAEL RIVERS: That warty wand photo scares the hell out of me. Should I be very afraid of the Friday you mentioned?
We suggest you avert your eyes.
MR. PEENEE: Do the curtains match the rug?
You show that warty dick one more time and I'm sending a mash note to Rush Limbaugh with your name on it..
Do you mean this warty wand?
Hallelujah, you’re alive!
We’ve missed you. Somewhat.
KNUDSEN: Old Knudsen does not like the word 'fear' its more of a concern about lemurs or maybe a disturbing dislike but fear implies a sense of being English and Old Knudsen is no Sassenach.
I wonder if manuel is part lemur, that lad could be the missing link.
What about bush babies?
Are you trembling at the mention?
Which part of Manuel is the most lemur-like?
EROS: These same questions have plagued philosophers over the ages.
I find that if I engage in rigorous activities that leave me exhausted, I end up sleeping much better.
Perhaps a vigorous walk before dinner might help you sleep better.
Or I could chase you ‘round the oubliette.
CYBERPOOF: I realise it's urgent but I haven't had the time and I still have to wrap my junk in a big red bow especially for Dong um I mean Donn
obviously!
How long does it take to stuff a pair of shorts into a baggie and stick a stamp on it?
No I won't.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll offer to do Beast's washing if Scarlet will assist.
It will take us forever - and we might get polluted by dubious aromas... but I suppose somebody has to do it.
ReplyDeleteSx
There are always threats of social events we will be forced to attend. Nothing ever materialises but the threat and impending sense of gloom are there.
ReplyDelete"No new post 'til Friday?" Blimey, you lightweight. I'll be lucky to post again before 2035.
You shouldn't smoke when coming near Beast's bin ...
ReplyDeleteKAZ: No I won't.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll offer to do Beast's washing if Scarlet will assist.
Do not fall into his trap.
This is exactly what BEAST has been waiting for…
For one of us to take pity on his slovenly ways and assist in his cleaning up.
SCARLET: It will take us forever - and we might get polluted by dubious aromas... but I suppose somebody has to do it.
Surely he could pay Mr. Frobisher, dressed in a French maid’s outfit, to come in once a week with a broom?
MAGO:
BETTY: There are always threats of social events we will be forced to attend. Nothing ever materialises but the threat and impending sense of gloom are there.
"No new post 'til Friday?" Blimey, you lightweight. I'll be lucky to post again before 2035.
Mistress MJ does not have voicemail nor an answering machine of any sort.
We recommend this as a starting point in avoiding social invitations.
MAGO: You shouldn't smoke when coming near Beast's bin ...
And by Beast’s “bin” you mean his “fruit basket”?
Wait, can I get rid of my voicemail? I never heard anything so very delightful before in my life!
ReplyDeleteLEAH: Wait, can I get rid of my voicemail? I never heard anything so very delightful before in my life!
ReplyDeleteYou have options…employ them!
Donn will know when he checks out my package
ReplyDelete