Mistress MJ tripped over this photo on Old Knudsen’s blog …
We cannot be certain if it is a talking penis or a singing penis.
In any case, if your penis (or the penis of a loved one) could talk, what would it say?
And if it could sing, what tune would it choose?
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Ah hah hah hah hah ha! I've done it at last!! I'm first! Kneel before me, puny mortals!
ReplyDeleteActually, maybe that's what my penis would say...?
Oh Hai IDV!
ReplyDeleteIt would say:
ReplyDeleteWould you like to go for a ride?
And it would sing:
Celebrate good times, come on!
All penisi sing My Way.
ReplyDeleteSx
...The record shows I took the blows and did it my way...
ReplyDelete*wanders off humming*
Sx
Oh, Hai xl, Eros, Miss Scarlet!
ReplyDeleteThat's easy. It's one of two. First choice would of corse be the Kylie track Butterfly. See fanmade video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6j0Sr49CGU&feature=youtube_gdata
ReplyDeleteit's a brilliantly made video and I can say that because I didn't make it.
Or Rght Said Fred I'm too sexy
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxZp4VEopcE&feature=youtube_gdata
although it would be the Spanish version mine would do.
i think my response to both these questions are best answered here with these dulcet tones....
ReplyDeleteOh hey bitches!
IVD: Ah hah hah hah hah ha! I've done it at last!! I'm first! Kneel before me, puny mortals!
ReplyDeleteActually, maybe that's what my penis would say...?
Please refrain from mentioning your royal sceptre.
EROS: It would say:
Would you like to go for a ride?
And it would sing:
Celebrate good times, come on!
There’s a party goin’ on right here.
Ya-HOO!
SCARLET: All penisi sing My Way.
...The record shows I took the blows and did it my way...
*wanders off humming*
And in response, I would say…
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
CYBERPOOF: That's easy. It's one of two. First choice would of corse be the Kylie track Butterfly. See fanmade video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6j0Sr49CGU&feature=youtube_gdata
it's a brilliantly made video and I can say that because I didn't make it.
Kylie…why didn’t I see that coming?
CYBERPOOF: Or Rght Said Fred I'm too sexy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxZp4VEopcE&feature=youtube_gdata
although it would be the Spanish version mine would do.
Are you gonna shake that little thing on the catwalk?
PRINCESS: i think my response to both these questions are best answered here with these dulcet tones....
Oh hey bitches!
Your penis has a Texan accent!
Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
ReplyDeleteComin thro' the rye,
She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
Comin thro' the rye!
Okay. That pic has seriously freaked my shit right out the door!
ReplyDeleteI beg you pardon!
ReplyDeleteI do love a good singalong:
ReplyDeleteI'm A Wanker (Ivor Biggun)
My mother said
that I never should
Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And thats why I fell in love with my right hand
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And does it good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And im always pulling my pudd
I was 25 years old
before I was kissed
and then I found the guy prefered
a swift one off the wrist
Its cheap and convenient
and you cant catch VD
Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd
Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind
I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omibus
I've even had a wank in a train
I've used a badger
and a melon
and a cat
a inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a David Crocket hat
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd
Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind
XL: Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
ReplyDeleteComin thro' the rye,
She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
Comin thro' the rye!
*offers XL a wee dram*
MICHAEL GUY: Okay. That pic has seriously freaked my shit right out the door!
Penis cries out…
“Michael! Come baaacckkk, Michaelllllll!
CYBERPOOF: I beg you pardon!
You heard me.
MITZI: Pure poetry.
Makes me want to go out and buy the complete works of Ivor Biggun.
And for those who want to listen to 'I’m a Wanker', click here.
I don't care WHAT the freakin' penis says, MY Va JAY JAY say WATCH THOSE TEETH!! Tongue, you can stay!
ReplyDeleteIn Soviet Russia, penis tongues you.
ReplyDelete*shudder*
ReplyDeletethis one freaks me out. I call it,
FREAKY FRIDAY.
My penis sings "Hard Day's Night".
ReplyDeleteMine would say, "Stop pointing at me."
ReplyDeleteIt would sing, "Beat It," of course.
"Convoy"
ReplyDelete...aint she a beautiful sight!
Good lord, don't we have enough to floss already?
ReplyDeleteBITCHES WHO COMMENTED AFTER 9:00 AM: Mistress MJ had a long day and needs to create Saturday’s post and have a cocktail or 3.
ReplyDeleteShe is delighted by all your comments and your charming musical penises.
Let’s hear it for the skin flute section!
It would look in the mirror and say, "Hello, Gorgeous!"
ReplyDeleteAnd it would sing, "I Wanna Dance with Somebody."
" I can't give you anything but love, baby!" as done by Dean Martin.
ReplyDeleteI'm still too traumatised to take part.
ReplyDeleteI need a drink.
"thank you all for coming....my first number will be alleghany moon."
ReplyDeleteIt woudl just say:
ReplyDelete"more"