Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Pissing Contest – Voting Day




Mistress MJ has selected her six favourite entries to the Pissing Contest.

Now YOU be the judge.

Who amongst the following bitches should win a copy of What’s My Pee Telling Me?

Select your favourite! …



I need this book cos I need to know how to pee in a bush without getting my tights wet.
- Miss Scarlet



Mother's Day is just around the corner. I need this book.
- Michael Guy


I think I desperatly need this book . The other day Mr C told me it would be really really funny if I pee'd in a plastic bag and threw it at Frobisher while he was walking to work. Strangly Frobisher failed to see the funny side , so I obviously have a lot to learn about pee
- Beast



Because i'd place it right next to my autographed copy of, "what my piss told normadesmond" by virginia graham, as told to i.p. daily
- Normadesmond



I need this book because I NEVER have time to pee. I'm too damn busy. My bladder is upset with me and may be on strike. I constantly feel like my teeth are floating and probably have some kind of kidney disease. So you see, I really need this book. Perhaps, I also need to sit in on the meeting those nice ladies are having in that photo?
- Random Chick



Why? because it would complete my set. there couldn't be another in the series could there.....one shouldn't think too much about that
- Manuel (who previously won a copy of What’s Your Poo Telling You?)



Choose only one!

55 comments:

  1. My name is mob cos there's lots of us1:17 AM, January 12, 2010

    Beast without a doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I choose Miss Scarlet as I cant have her soiled tights on my concience

    ReplyDelete
  3. I vote for Ms Scarlet.

    Damp tights just aren't sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. YES!!! ME, ME, ME!!!!!!
    A 'P' Meme?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Scarlet clearly knows plenty about pee, I hink it's Beast that neds the education

    ReplyDelete
  6. Miss Scarlet!
    Fianally the culprit is exposed. I'm sick of finding moist tights draped throughout my bushes!
    You may very well find solace to your predicament within its pages.
    Therefore, You, Miss Scarlet get my vote!
    If only in the hope of putting an end to this abhorrent behaviour.
    Luv Princess XXX

    ReplyDelete
  7. It must be Beast!
    Ms. Scarlet is wetting her panties over almost everything.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I need help! Ms Princess understands..
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  9. It should be Beast who gets the education. Miss Scarlet should know better not to wear tights - she wouldn't have that problem if she was in stockings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fair point, but it's a little draughty for stockings.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why Miss Scarlet,
    I do sooo, understand!
    My gardener has just bought me further evidence of your continued hijinx in my bushes.
    I sincerely hope that you do indeed win this book!

    ReplyDelete
  12. My name is mob cos there's lots of us6:33 AM, January 12, 2010

    "Rosiedendron said:

    Damp tights just aren't sexy."


    You might think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Scarlet's wet soggy knickers gets my vote.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Scarlet is hilarious. But I vote for Beast, if only so he can avoid those awkward situations with his coworkers. A happy team is an effective team.

    ReplyDelete
  15. No to both: Miss Scarlet needs a "How-to"-book and Beast an excorcism from the bad spell he's under.
    I am for Manuel and completing his set.

    ReplyDelete
  16. *stamps feet, clenches fists and starts editing blogrol*
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Scarlet: "Fair point, but it's a little draughty for stockings."

    Perhaps you should wear knickers?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tights also prevent chaffing and a nasty rash.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  19. My name is mob cos there's lots of us11:00 AM, January 12, 2010

    "Miss Carlet said:
    Tights also prevent chaffing and a nasty rash."


    Your GP can give you something called penicillin for that.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ooh, I'm torn between BEAST's submission (purely for the hilarious images it conjures up) and Random Chick's (it was the floating teeth that did it).


    Ummm....


    Errrr....


    Ummm....


    OK. Beast's it is!

    ReplyDelete
  21. BITCHES: Mistress MJ is sequestered in her boudoir, tallying the results as they come in.

    The winner will be announced in a new post on Wednesday.

    Carry on.

    *predicts this will all end in tears*

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ok...who do I have blow around here to win that book! C'mon!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My name is mob cos there's lots of us12:10 PM, January 12, 2010

    (Ooops, had to delete last comment as I made a boo boo.)

    I should probably keep my trap shut but for what it's worth here is my opinion. Only an opinion you understand.

    Beasts vote should be disqualified as he was doing the gentlemanly thing in voting for Signorina Scarlatto.
    Signorina Scarlatto, instead of reciprocating, decided to vote for herself.
    Signorina Scarlatto then went on a round of shameless self-promotion in this thread.
    XL and Rosebud are biased.
    There. I think that's sorted out now.
    Mistress MJ can and will most likely completely ignore this and forget I ever wrote anything, as will everybody else.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My pee is telling me not to aim at the power socket.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I wunder who still did not vote ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ms. Scarlet obviously needs this book. As demonstrated by her own words (or should i say 'hoist by her own petard?' unless its not anatomically-not to mention nautically- correct) this book would significantly improve her quality of life. Not to mention the quality of the ornamental plantings around her neighborhood.

    anyway I have insider information on Beast and his past 'whiz in a bag' capers. He needs a spanking, not egging on!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Did you VOTE for Ms. Scarlet, FirstNations?

    ReplyDelete
  29. Just for fun I counted the votes and at the moment it seems to be a draw, 6 - 6,
    counting
    Tickers and FN undecided,
    Normadesmond for Michael Guy,
    mago for Manuel.

    One could dispute a little about Scarlet voting for herself and Beast, gentleman from head to toe, giving his vote for her ...

    ReplyDelete
  30. The prize sounds like the perfect gift for ones mother.

    My vote is for Michael Guy (love him!)

    Miss Scarlet should wear stockings no matter the weather. Beauty's pain, get used to it. Tee-hee!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Guess nobody wants a blow...I'll just have to figure out what to do with my own pee then! It's not going to be pretty I tell you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. :)

    Hello Pete!

    Beast - 6
    Scarlet - 6 (?)
    Guy - 2
    Manuel - 1

    ReplyDelete
  33. Is anyone buying votes? Uh, I'm asking for a friend.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh Random, I am sorry ... by the way did you VOTE for yourself? Just asking ...

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm going for Michael Guy.

    Oh and I'm voting for him too.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Mago & XL: I vote for myself. I won't buy votes because that is stooping too low...but did offer to blow anyone if they want to vote for me.

    ReplyDelete
  37. My name is mob cos there's lots of us4:14 PM, January 12, 2010

    I might have taken you up on the offer Random Chick but you live too far away. Plus my vote has already been counted, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Send them one each. They are all equally revolting...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Beast - 6
    Scarlet - 6 (? - to be disputed)
    Guy - 3
    Manuel - 1
    Random Chick - 1

    I think Mr. Guy is a good runner up coming from behind.

    ReplyDelete
  40. OK I vote for Beast - though he will only sell it to buy 'White Lightning'....

    ReplyDelete
  41. They say it is an honor just to be nominated. I would have no idea. Not bitter. I must cast my vote for manuel. One book would be great but a set. sublime. I eagerly await the next challenge. Bonne chance!

    ReplyDelete
  42. get the fuck the lot of you....I have a waiter based case of OCD and need the second book or my collection will be ruined....

    oh and cheers Kabuki Zero....good work...

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oh I see my esteemed competitors have all been 'on the stump' rallying votes . Unfortunatley I was called away to cook dinner for 40 disabled children.........
    Not that this should affect the voting in any way
    I was Just saying
    ***throws bag of piss at Mother Theresa***

    ReplyDelete
  44. Mutley - White Lighning would anybody drive to brown sugar ...

    HAI Kabuki Zero! That's one word!
    Her goes Kabuki Zero - an example for all!

    Manuel!
    Braucht's der Worte mehr?

    Beast, stay gentle, be a man, you already voted. Mother Theresa is dead. And will be venerated as SAint officially in no time, so ther's something at THE STAKE your pissbag won't put out, just sayin'.
    The fix is in, my job is done.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Looks like there's going to be a run off election!!!

    I'll be sure to stand upwind and uphill from the candidates!

    ReplyDelete
  46. I voted for Ms. Scarlett, Mago. Theres a crying need there.

    ReplyDelete
  47. VOTING IS CLOSED

    New post to follow later.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Infomaniac thanks contestants Miss Scarlet, Michael Guy, Beast, Normadesmond, Random Chick and Manuel.

    Mago did an admirable job of keeping a running tally throughout the day and will be rewarded in a private ceremony off-camera.

    Clearly we have concerns about Miss Scarlet blog-hopping her way through the day, shamelessly self-promoting, trying to solicit votes AND voting for herself. Yet we here at Infomaniac neglected to mention that one cannot vote for oneself so fair play to Miss Scarlet. We also experienced a considerable amount of fist-clenching and foot-stomping from Miss Scarlet. Unprofessional behaviour,yes. Yet she didn’t break any rules.

    And as Mob said, Beast did the gentlemanly thing in voting for Miss Scarlet.

    Though he didn’t make it to front-runner, Michael Guy appears to have a growing fan base. We look forward to seeing what Michael can do as the year progresses.

    Manuel, who needs the book to complete his collection, should be happy he got any votes at all after telling you all to go fuck yourselves. But then again, that’s a waiter for you, isn’t it?

    Despite offering blow jobs for votes, Random Chick went away empty-handed. Note to Random Chick: Please note that many of our readers are of the homosexual persuasion and unlikely to find your type of trade appealing.

    And now get ready for Wednesday’s post.

    ReplyDelete
  49. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us12:56 AM, January 13, 2010

    I just realised. That's Gary Barlow in that photo, LOL!
    Well ok, not really but it looks like him.

    ReplyDelete
  50. geez, you call that a pissing contest?
    holy shit, I'm 58 and can probably outpiss both those young'ns!
    Oh...you mean the paragraphs?
    uh...
    Manuel.
    Because sets mean everything.
    (yeah, even if te first one is poop, y'gotta get the whole set. Like Star Trek, the Movie.
    Poo personified.
    Next two were great cliff hangers. #4...wait! They went extinct BECAUSE those clowns took the whale family back to the future.
    #5...I dunno.
    #6, well, it's true. Only when you see Macbeth in Klingon can you truly appreciate Shakespeare.
    (too far?)
    #7, First Contact, but, dang! I had a better #8 in mind than they did. Really!

    whatever, eh?
    sets rule!

    ReplyDelete
  51. oh...uh. OK. You caught me.
    I'm one of those guys that comments before reading, and now I see I am just a lil late.

    OK OK Two Days and three hours late.
    geez.
    I still think he should have won for the set statement.
    HA!
    d=))

    ReplyDelete