Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Pissing Contest – Voting Day
Mistress MJ has selected her six favourite entries to the Pissing Contest.
Now YOU be the judge.
Who amongst the following bitches should win a copy of What’s My Pee Telling Me?
Select your favourite! …
I need this book cos I need to know how to pee in a bush without getting my tights wet.
- Miss Scarlet
Mother's Day is just around the corner. I need this book.
- Michael Guy
I think I desperatly need this book . The other day Mr C told me it would be really really funny if I pee'd in a plastic bag and threw it at Frobisher while he was walking to work. Strangly Frobisher failed to see the funny side , so I obviously have a lot to learn about pee
- Beast
Because i'd place it right next to my autographed copy of, "what my piss told normadesmond" by virginia graham, as told to i.p. daily
- Normadesmond
I need this book because I NEVER have time to pee. I'm too damn busy. My bladder is upset with me and may be on strike. I constantly feel like my teeth are floating and probably have some kind of kidney disease. So you see, I really need this book. Perhaps, I also need to sit in on the meeting those nice ladies are having in that photo?
- Random Chick
Why? because it would complete my set. there couldn't be another in the series could there.....one shouldn't think too much about that
- Manuel (who previously won a copy of What’s Your Poo Telling You?)
Choose only one!
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Beast without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteMiss Scarlet!
ReplyDeleteI choose Miss Scarlet as I cant have her soiled tights on my concience
ReplyDeleteI vote for Ms Scarlet.
ReplyDeleteDamp tights just aren't sexy.
YES!!! ME, ME, ME!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA 'P' Meme?
Sx
Scarlet clearly knows plenty about pee, I hink it's Beast that neds the education
ReplyDeleteMiss Scarlet!
ReplyDeleteFianally the culprit is exposed. I'm sick of finding moist tights draped throughout my bushes!
You may very well find solace to your predicament within its pages.
Therefore, You, Miss Scarlet get my vote!
If only in the hope of putting an end to this abhorrent behaviour.
Luv Princess XXX
It must be Beast!
ReplyDeleteMs. Scarlet is wetting her panties over almost everything.
I need help! Ms Princess understands..
ReplyDeleteSx
It should be Beast who gets the education. Miss Scarlet should know better not to wear tights - she wouldn't have that problem if she was in stockings.
ReplyDeleteFair point, but it's a little draughty for stockings.
ReplyDeleteSx
Why Miss Scarlet,
ReplyDeleteI do sooo, understand!
My gardener has just bought me further evidence of your continued hijinx in my bushes.
I sincerely hope that you do indeed win this book!
"Rosiedendron said:
ReplyDeleteDamp tights just aren't sexy."
You might think that. I couldn't possibly comment.
Scarlet's wet soggy knickers gets my vote.
ReplyDeleteScarlet is hilarious. But I vote for Beast, if only so he can avoid those awkward situations with his coworkers. A happy team is an effective team.
ReplyDeleteNo to both: Miss Scarlet needs a "How-to"-book and Beast an excorcism from the bad spell he's under.
ReplyDeleteI am for Manuel and completing his set.
*stamps feet, clenches fists and starts editing blogrol*
ReplyDeleteSx
michael guy.
ReplyDeleteScarlet: "Fair point, but it's a little draughty for stockings."
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should wear knickers?
Tights also prevent chaffing and a nasty rash.
ReplyDeleteSx
"Miss Carlet said:
ReplyDeleteTights also prevent chaffing and a nasty rash."
Your GP can give you something called penicillin for that.
Ooh, I'm torn between BEAST's submission (purely for the hilarious images it conjures up) and Random Chick's (it was the floating teeth that did it).
ReplyDeleteUmmm....
Errrr....
Ummm....
OK. Beast's it is!
BITCHES: Mistress MJ is sequestered in her boudoir, tallying the results as they come in.
ReplyDeleteThe winner will be announced in a new post on Wednesday.
Carry on.
*predicts this will all end in tears*
Ok...who do I have blow around here to win that book! C'mon!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete(Ooops, had to delete last comment as I made a boo boo.)
ReplyDeleteI should probably keep my trap shut but for what it's worth here is my opinion. Only an opinion you understand.
Beasts vote should be disqualified as he was doing the gentlemanly thing in voting for Signorina Scarlatto.
Signorina Scarlatto, instead of reciprocating, decided to vote for herself.
Signorina Scarlatto then went on a round of shameless self-promotion in this thread.
XL and Rosebud are biased.
There. I think that's sorted out now.
Mistress MJ can and will most likely completely ignore this and forget I ever wrote anything, as will everybody else.
My pee is telling me not to aim at the power socket.
ReplyDeleteI wunder who still did not vote ...
ReplyDeleteMs. Scarlet obviously needs this book. As demonstrated by her own words (or should i say 'hoist by her own petard?' unless its not anatomically-not to mention nautically- correct) this book would significantly improve her quality of life. Not to mention the quality of the ornamental plantings around her neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteanyway I have insider information on Beast and his past 'whiz in a bag' capers. He needs a spanking, not egging on!
Did you VOTE for Ms. Scarlet, FirstNations?
ReplyDeleteJust for fun I counted the votes and at the moment it seems to be a draw, 6 - 6,
ReplyDeletecounting
Tickers and FN undecided,
Normadesmond for Michael Guy,
mago for Manuel.
One could dispute a little about Scarlet voting for herself and Beast, gentleman from head to toe, giving his vote for her ...
The prize sounds like the perfect gift for ones mother.
ReplyDeleteMy vote is for Michael Guy (love him!)
Miss Scarlet should wear stockings no matter the weather. Beauty's pain, get used to it. Tee-hee!
Guess nobody wants a blow...I'll just have to figure out what to do with my own pee then! It's not going to be pretty I tell you!!!
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteHello Pete!
Beast - 6
Scarlet - 6 (?)
Guy - 2
Manuel - 1
Is anyone buying votes? Uh, I'm asking for a friend.
ReplyDeleteOh Random, I am sorry ... by the way did you VOTE for yourself? Just asking ...
ReplyDeleteFat Tony?
ReplyDeleteI'm going for Michael Guy.
ReplyDeleteOh and I'm voting for him too.
Mago & XL: I vote for myself. I won't buy votes because that is stooping too low...but did offer to blow anyone if they want to vote for me.
ReplyDeleteI might have taken you up on the offer Random Chick but you live too far away. Plus my vote has already been counted, lol.
ReplyDeleteSend them one each. They are all equally revolting...
ReplyDeleteBeast - 6
ReplyDeleteScarlet - 6 (? - to be disputed)
Guy - 3
Manuel - 1
Random Chick - 1
I think Mr. Guy is a good runner up coming from behind.
OK I vote for Beast - though he will only sell it to buy 'White Lightning'....
ReplyDeleteThey say it is an honor just to be nominated. I would have no idea. Not bitter. I must cast my vote for manuel. One book would be great but a set. sublime. I eagerly await the next challenge. Bonne chance!
ReplyDeleteget the fuck the lot of you....I have a waiter based case of OCD and need the second book or my collection will be ruined....
ReplyDeleteoh and cheers Kabuki Zero....good work...
Oh I see my esteemed competitors have all been 'on the stump' rallying votes . Unfortunatley I was called away to cook dinner for 40 disabled children.........
ReplyDeleteNot that this should affect the voting in any way
I was Just saying
***throws bag of piss at Mother Theresa***
Mutley - White Lighning would anybody drive to brown sugar ...
ReplyDeleteHAI Kabuki Zero! That's one word!
Her goes Kabuki Zero - an example for all!
Manuel!
Braucht's der Worte mehr?
Beast, stay gentle, be a man, you already voted. Mother Theresa is dead. And will be venerated as SAint officially in no time, so ther's something at THE STAKE your pissbag won't put out, just sayin'.
The fix is in, my job is done.
number two.
ReplyDelete(ha)
Looks like there's going to be a run off election!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure to stand upwind and uphill from the candidates!
I voted for Ms. Scarlett, Mago. Theres a crying need there.
ReplyDeleteVOTING IS CLOSED
ReplyDeleteNew post to follow later.
Infomaniac thanks contestants Miss Scarlet, Michael Guy, Beast, Normadesmond, Random Chick and Manuel.
ReplyDeleteMago did an admirable job of keeping a running tally throughout the day and will be rewarded in a private ceremony off-camera.
Clearly we have concerns about Miss Scarlet blog-hopping her way through the day, shamelessly self-promoting, trying to solicit votes AND voting for herself. Yet we here at Infomaniac neglected to mention that one cannot vote for oneself so fair play to Miss Scarlet. We also experienced a considerable amount of fist-clenching and foot-stomping from Miss Scarlet. Unprofessional behaviour,yes. Yet she didn’t break any rules.
And as Mob said, Beast did the gentlemanly thing in voting for Miss Scarlet.
Though he didn’t make it to front-runner, Michael Guy appears to have a growing fan base. We look forward to seeing what Michael can do as the year progresses.
Manuel, who needs the book to complete his collection, should be happy he got any votes at all after telling you all to go fuck yourselves. But then again, that’s a waiter for you, isn’t it?
Despite offering blow jobs for votes, Random Chick went away empty-handed. Note to Random Chick: Please note that many of our readers are of the homosexual persuasion and unlikely to find your type of trade appealing.
And now get ready for Wednesday’s post.
I just realised. That's Gary Barlow in that photo, LOL!
ReplyDeleteWell ok, not really but it looks like him.
geez, you call that a pissing contest?
ReplyDeleteholy shit, I'm 58 and can probably outpiss both those young'ns!
Oh...you mean the paragraphs?
uh...
Manuel.
Because sets mean everything.
(yeah, even if te first one is poop, y'gotta get the whole set. Like Star Trek, the Movie.
Poo personified.
Next two were great cliff hangers. #4...wait! They went extinct BECAUSE those clowns took the whale family back to the future.
#5...I dunno.
#6, well, it's true. Only when you see Macbeth in Klingon can you truly appreciate Shakespeare.
(too far?)
#7, First Contact, but, dang! I had a better #8 in mind than they did. Really!
whatever, eh?
sets rule!
oh...uh. OK. You caught me.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those guys that comments before reading, and now I see I am just a lil late.
OK OK Two Days and three hours late.
geez.
I still think he should have won for the set statement.
HA!
d=))