Despite his upstanding moral character, Kabuki missed out on the title of Miss Virginia thus failing to represent his State in the Miss America Pageant.
But without a doubt, Miss Kabuki belongs in Infomaniac’s beauty pageant featuring a gallery of the most Alluring Arses.
See for yourself! …
Kabuki’s heavenly heiny
The first of you bitches to use the term all fur coat and no knickers will be punished.
Click here to visit Kabuki Zero.
Note #1: When Mistress MJ opened her email on New Year’s Day, Kabuki’s arse was the first photograph of the year that she saw. We hope Kabuki’s arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade.
Note #2: We wish to thank the fabulous Felix of Hollywood for introducing us to his friend Kabuki Zero.
Hai, first!
ReplyDeleteOh Okuni, time changed ...
Mistress, if I use the term "all hat, no cattle" will I be punished?
ReplyDeleteOh Hai Mago!
Oh Hai, Mago!
ReplyDeleteOh Hai, XL!
Why is it we only ever get the rear view of Infomaniac's bitches? A little frontage would go a long way. Is that such a tall order to request???
4th? again? dam. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Hai, Mago!
Oh Hai, xl!
Oh Hai, Ponita!
how about all that meat and no potatoes?
ReplyDeleteOh Hai, Savannah!
ReplyDeleteLet's see some man vegetables... young ones, not that old withered shite that so frequently pops up here...
MAGO: Hai, first!
ReplyDeleteOh Okuni, time changed ...
Noh noh noh.
XL: Mistress, if I use the term "all hat, no cattle" will I be punished?
Not if you snap to it and fluff my pillows.
You’re not on vacation anymore, you know.
PONITA: Why is it we only ever get the rear view of Infomaniac's bitches? A little frontage would go a long way. Is that such a tall order to request???
Mistress MJ has the “frontage” photos of many of her bitches in her personal photo folders.
They are for Mistress MJ’s eyes only in accordance with their wishes.
SAVANNAH: how about all that meat and no potatoes?
We’ll see what Kabuki has to say about that.
PONITA: Let's see some man vegetables... young ones, not that old withered shite that so frequently pops up here...
See my response to you earlier.
I just wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes. I don't need a photo; anecdotal accounts will be fine.
ReplyDeletefine, that was redundant.
ReplyDeletestill wanna know.
Dear Mistress,
ReplyDeleteWhat a very alluring arse!
Princess is still awaiting the services of the "Royal Snapper".
He tells me that he has had to commission a "Super Wide-angle Lens" (what ever that means) before he can proceed with the portaiture of my delicious derrierre!
Though he then mumbled something about it probably having to be in "Landscape" format.
Unfortunately, Princess struggles with such tachnical terminology.
I appologise for my tardyness in supplying you with a photograph but, as you can see, things are, at present, out of my control!
I am looking forward to getting to know your newst bitch however!
Luv Princess XXX
oh my! And I thought you didn't condone killing animals for fashion.
ReplyDeleteIt looks very nice to me, but next time, stage it on a bear skin rug perhaps?
That's absolutely disgusting you know. The pink wig clashes horribly with the fur coat.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to get my Vutwamini Maidens and set them upon all the people with no style...on second thoughts they might have their work cut out...
Worse things happen at sea....
ReplyDeleteOr so we are told
Blimey! I thought Frobisher had been let loose on the make-up counter in Boots the chemist again.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing hotter than a homocidal kabuki drag in a faux fur and hooker wig.
ReplyDelete"It put's the pancake on it's skin........"
He needs to get waxing... but can I borrow the wig... and the coat?
ReplyDeleteSx
Is Kabuki going to take over from Manuel now?
ReplyDeleteI'm more interested in where Kabuki got the fur coat from. I shan't be waxing - it's too cold for that!
ReplyDeleteLooks like a refugee from RuPaul's Drag Race!
ReplyDeletebtw - I heard that IDV!
Nice arse..
ReplyDeleteor hideous hiney??
Works either way!
NATIONS: I just wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes. I don't need a photo; anecdotal accounts will be fine.
ReplyDeletefine, that was redundant.
still wanna know.
Lady Gaga’s pink merkin was fashioned after Kabuki’s pubic hair.
PRINCESS: Dear Mistress,
What a very alluring arse!
Princess is still awaiting the services of the "Royal Snapper".
He tells me that he has had to commission a "Super Wide-angle Lens" (what ever that means) before he can proceed with the portaiture of my delicious derrierre!
Though he then mumbled something about it probably having to be in "Landscape" format.
Unfortunately, Princess struggles with such tachnical terminology.
I appologise for my tardyness in supplying you with a photograph but, as you can see, things are, at present, out of my control!
I am looking forward to getting to know your newst bitch however!
Luv Princess XXX
Tell your “Royal Snapper” to make it snappy.
CYBERPOOF: oh my! And I thought you didn't condone killing animals for fashion.
It looks very nice to me, but next time, stage it on a bear skin rug perhaps?
Mistress MJ would like to do a photo shoot with Kabuki similar to this one that Madonna did with her boy toy Jesus Luz for W Magazine.
We just need a handsome volunteer from our audience to join her.
LEODMAEG: That's absolutely disgusting you know. The pink wig clashes horribly with the fur coat.
I'm going to get my Vutwamini Maidens and set them upon all the people with no style...on second thoughts they might have their work cut out...
Oh really. And what are you wearing?
BEAST: Worse things happen at sea....
Or so we are told
Have ya ever bin ta sea, Beastie?
IVD: Blimey! I thought Frobisher had been let loose on the make-up counter in Boots the chemist again.
He heard that.
DAMIEN: There is nothing hotter than a homocidal kabuki drag in a faux fur and hooker wig.
"It put's the pancake on it's skin........"
Now that Kabuki is here, your reign as Mr. Nude Infomaniac could be in peril.
SCARLET: He needs to get waxing... but can I borrow the wig... and the coat?
You’ll have to ask Kabuki yourself.
KAZ: Is Kabuki going to take over from Manuel now?
Kabuki would have to up his testosterone intake to catch up to the hairy-arsed vision that is our Manuel.
ISTVANSKI: I'm more interested in where Kabuki got the fur coat from. I shan't be waxing - it's too cold for that!
Ahem. Mistress MJ is still waiting for YOUR arse pic.
FROBI: Looks like a refugee from RuPaul's Drag Race!
btw - I heard that IDV!
Excuse me your Royal Frumpiness!
Everyone please click on this photo and take a good look at the “lady” on the left.
We think it’s time YOU had a makeover.
You’re starting to look like Mavis Wilton.
CANDY: Nice arse..
or hideous hiney??
Works either way!
“Heavenly” heiny!
Nothing would be finer
ReplyDeletethan to win the Miss Virgina
is he mour-ning?
Since "all hat and no cattle" has already been in play I have nothing...no really!
Welcome aboard Kabuki Zero, this is the place to be because none of MJ's bitches can be shocked..
we have all been totally desensitized by an endless barrage of calorically challenged ancient men all well past their best before date marble gargling octogenarian boners.
The horror
the horror
If Madonna needs the names of her boy toys tattooed on their backs - why not mirror-inverted?
ReplyDeleteDONN: Nothing would be finer
ReplyDeletethan to win the Miss Virgina
is he mour-ning?
Since "all hat and no cattle" has already been in play I have nothing...no really!
Welcome aboard Kabuki Zero, this is the place to be because none of MJ's bitches can be shocked..
we have all been totally desensitized by an endless barrage of calorically challenged ancient men all well past their best before date marble gargling octogenarian boners.
The horror
the horror
Not to mention the shock of seeing Donn’s dong.
MAGO: If Madonna needs the names of her boy toys tattooed on their backs - why not mirror-inverted?
Is that what you did with my name, Mago?
Welcome to the asylum Kabuki Zero! Nice arse!
ReplyDeleteToday I am mostly wearing Y-fronts, string vest, and a furry slipper which I found and enables me to give each of my feet a turn at keeping warm.
ReplyDelete[listlessly fluffs pillows, weeps]
ReplyDeleteThis first day back at work is ... so ... difficult.
RANDOM: Welcome to the asylum Kabuki Zero! Nice arse!
ReplyDeleteThe look on your face says it all!
LEODMAEG: Today I am mostly wearing Y-fronts, string vest, and a furry slipper which I found and enables me to give each of my feet a turn at keeping warm.
Sing along…
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
XL: [listlessly fluffs pillows, weeps]
This first day back at work is ... so ... difficult.
You know how Mistress MJ feels about bodily fluids being deposited here.
Didn’t you bring a tissue?
It's not too late to turn back! You can still escape the depavity! But you must turn away now!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Oh, you thought I was talking to Kabuki.
I ... wrote it on the walls, LM.
ReplyDeleteKAPI: It's not too late to turn back! You can still escape the depavity! But you must turn away now!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Oh, you thought I was talking to Kabuki.
I’m just surprised that you didn’t come over here to chat up Kabuki.
It’s common knowledge that you like fresh blood.
MAGO: I ... wrote it on the walls, LM.
I thought you would have it tattooed somewhere on your body.
It won't be me as I refuse to get down with Madge (or vadge if you will)
ReplyDeleteGo on Ptra you would love to have those wrinkly old thighs wrapped around you neck :-)
ReplyDelete*laughs at Beast*
ReplyDelete*waits for CyberPoof to show up and lay bitch-slapping on Beast*
I need to lay down now.
ReplyDeleteSomeone fetch me a cold compress and a glass of Champagne!
And a silver candlestick I can throw at or beat Beastie with. Repeatedly.
Good morning children,
ReplyDeleteWords alone cannot express my joy of discovering I was MJ's monday IT boy. Having sold off all my guns (bad idea), pistol whipping is postponed indefinitely. That being said, I welcome you all with open arms and trembling lips. And as for you filthy, dirty, nasty haters please take note. It has been scientifically proven that my size 8 foot will fit your jealous ass to a tee. kisses - kabuki
CYBERPOOF: I need to lay down now.
ReplyDeleteSomeone fetch me a cold compress and a glass of Champagne!
And a silver candlestick I can throw at or beat Beastie with. Repeatedly.
Would you mind hosing Beast down while you’re at it?
And Febreezing the general area around him?
KABUKI: Good morning children,
Words alone cannot express my joy of discovering I was MJ's monday IT boy. Having sold off all my guns (bad idea), pistol whipping is postponed indefinitely. That being said, I welcome you all with open arms and trembling lips. And as for you filthy, dirty, nasty haters please take note. It has been scientifically proven that my size 8 foot will fit your jealous ass to a tee. kisses - kabuki
*brandishes cat-o-nine-tails and places it in Kabuki’s capable hands*
Whip them, baby. Whip them good.
I love I love I love my calendar boy
Each and every day of the week.
No thank you MJ. I don't do manual labour. You know this
ReplyDelete*has diva tantrum*
I was thinking our new posterboy was boasting a bit much with his 8 foot will..... Maybe I read that wrong. Heh.
You'll be waiting for quite se time for that pic. There aren't enough wax strips in Croydon for a smooth arse pic pose.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: No thank you MJ. I don't do manual labour. You know this
ReplyDelete*has diva tantrum*
I was thinking our new posterboy was boasting a bit much with his 8 foot will..... Maybe I read that wrong. Heh.
*stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*
ISTVANSKI: You'll be waiting for quite se time for that pic. There aren't enough wax strips in Croydon for a smooth arse pic pose.
Maybe I like ‘em big and hairy.
*casts fond glance at Manuel’s arse*
I knew you'd break eventually and I'd finally win your heart.
ReplyDeleteMJ said: *stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*
Don't let her Cyberpoof! Have you any idea who she'd stuffed it in first? Ewww!
LEODMAEG: I knew you'd break eventually and I'd finally win your heart.
ReplyDeleteMJ said: *stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*
Don't let her Cyberpoof! Have you any idea who she'd stuffed it in first? Ewww!
Mistress MJ is pressed for time and must move on.
I shall deal with you and your delusional romantic fantasies later.
**We hope Kabuki's arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade**
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be too concerned MJ, that ass has set the tone around so many places...for so many decades.
I say these things because I love him so much.
FELIX: **We hope Kabuki's arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade**
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be too concerned MJ, that ass has set the tone around so many places...for so many decades.
I say these things because I love him so much.
We had hoped to feature your arse side-by-side with Kabuki’s but we’re still waiting for a photo.
Perhaps you didn’t get my email message?
As for Kabuki, what’s not to love?
I count myself lucky to have found the pair of you.
Well, Santa certainly got more than cookies when he visited that house! He got dinner and a show!
ReplyDeleteEROS: Well, Santa certainly got more than cookies when he visited that house! He got dinner and a show!
ReplyDeleteWe’re certain Kabuki was channeling Eartha Kitt singing ‘Santa Baby’.
Oh no Mistress, I did get your email, just still mulling the proposition over. Meantime, as you've read, Kabuki and I are so similar, just look at his picture and picture me. Subsituting, of course, the fur for a simple gingham jumper.
ReplyDeleteFELIX: Oh no Mistress, I did get your email, just still mulling the proposition over. Meantime, as you've read, Kabuki and I are so similar, just look at his picture and picture me. Subsituting, of course, the fur for a simple gingham jumper.
ReplyDeleteAre you shy?
Surely your arse couldn’t be less attractive than Piggy’s arse so off with that gingham jumper, sweetheart! We’re waiting!