A Guide to Self Control

Self pollution: the addiction nobody dares to talk about.

Here’s a guide to overcoming temptation.

[via]



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Filthy Friday – Nipple Tweaking Edition

Nipple Tweaking.

Everybody's doin' it.









So why don't you?



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

How To Accurately Measure Your Penis

Go on, fellas. Get yer willies out.

Ladies (and I use that term loosely around here) you can help out if you have a partner who’s up to it.

Here’s today's project for you. A do-it-yourself guide for measuring your penis correctly.

When you’ve completed this project, don’t feel pressured to tell us your measurements (oh, g’won, do) but tell us how you got on with this exercise.




Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Homo Prevention Tips

Is your little baby going to go gay?

Here’s an early warning sign . . .




Still not sure? Read these handy homo prevention tips for concerned parents with suspect toddlers.



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in February Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Mr. Baldnutz

Are you a tourist visiting Canada to attend the Olympic Games?

Are you in need of a little manscaping?



Mr. Baldnutz offers a personal shaving service for men in the Vancouver area.



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in February Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

February Flashbacks

This fiasco-in-the-making is about to take over the city where Mistress MJ currently goes about her business.


[thanks, XL]

And although the Games themselves don’t begin until February 12th, the cultural portion of the event is already in full swing.

As a result of road closures and traffic diversions, Mistress MJ’s commute will be adversely affected for the entire month of February, leaving less time for blogging.

So welcome to FEBRUARY FLASHBACKS

We’ll delve into the bowels of the Infomaniac Archives to bring you entertainment from yesteryear.

There are enough new bitches here who might appreciate it. You long-time Infomaniac readers will just have to suck it up. After all, you were probably wasted the first time you read these posts so they will be new to you too.

And with 1,550 posts to choose from (that’s right!), there should be plenty of material to entertain you.

One more thing … Mistress MJ will not be commenting on each and every one of your comments during the month of February so get used to it. Oh sure, I might LOL at one or two of you periodically. Or step in to break up a fight if things get ugly. So yes, I’ll be reading your comments but not actively participating in the fun.

FEBRUARY FLASHBACKS starts Tuesday, February 2nd.

We hope you’ll enjoy it.


Bonus: Wanna learn how to make flashing text as we did above with February Flashbacks? Then visit Eroswings’ “Blog Tips - - Sliding and Flashing Texts” for easy-to-follow instructions.

Happy Birthday, Ayem8y!

You might not recognize his face …



But surely you recognize his beautiful backside! …



And perhaps some of his other bits …



Yes, it’s Ayem8y’s birthday (aka Mean Dirty Pirate)!

Today he’s turning tricks celebrating his birthday at Disney World in Florida.

Oh, and if you aren’t already familiar with this Infomaniac bitch, let his own words fill you in …

“Hello my name is ayem8y aka Mean Dirty Pirate. I’m an Aquarius, I like trannies and collecting dildos and leather fetish whips. I’m a zookeeper that conducts safaris in the deepest reaches of the Dark Continent. But in my spare time I enjoy rolling around and licking trash at truck stops. (Really) I’m 45, single, salt-n-pepper, blue eyes, 42” chest, 32” waist, tan, with a thick 8” penis that needs lots of attention but what I really like is taking strange men into my anus. Sometimes single and yes I have had long term relationships. I’m looking for Mr. Right and sometimes Mr. Right Now!”




Oh, and Ayem8y is pronounced EYE-mate-ee … like the pirates say. Geddit? Mean Dirty Pirate…Ayem8y?


Update: Just checked Ayem8y’s blog and he reports, “I am horny.”

Fast, Loose and Lovely

Here at Infomaniac you know them as Felix In Hollywood and kabuki zero …


[via]

But around town, all the men know them as …

Filthy Friday – Superheroes Edition

(click pic to enlarge)
[via]


The Batphone rings, interrupting our heroes ...


Holy bootycall! To the Batpole, Robin!




What's up next for our Dynamic Duo?

Rumours!

By now you’ve all met the lovely kabuki zero …



But did you know he’s been spreading rumours?

Click here to see if you’re mentioned!

Especially if your name is Felix, IVD, Normadesmond, My Name Is Mob, Beast, Donn, Random Chick, Damien Oz or CyberPete.

And apparently there is “more to follow” though I can’t imagine what other dirt kabuki can scrape off his size 13s, can you?

Public Service Announcement #3

[via]

Do not urinate on powerlines.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

I Dream of Bloggers

If you were following the comments from yesterday’s post, you know that I had a dream about our witchy little friend from Norfolk, England: IVD (Inexplicable DeVice).


Won't you join me, Mistress MJ? Clicking biggifies me!

In the dream, we were cuddling and (gasp!) … nekkid!

Nothing sexual was going on, thankfully. After all, he is a big poof. Or as Piggy and Tazzy so neatly summed it up …

“Ever heard the phrase 'Friend of Dorothy'? Well, meet Dorothy. As queer as they come. A fully qualified, professional, mincing machine.”

Anyway, I’m just glad that IVD wasn’t making his wretched gurning face as pictured here …



THAT would have been a NIGHTMARE!

This isn’t the first dream I’ve had about IVD.

And come to think of it, I’ve had numerous dreams about various Infomaniac bitches.

Fellow Canadian Donn, for example …



I recall a few cuddling dreams about Donn though the details are sketchy.

However, I remember one dream where each time I clicked on Donn’s blog I heard the theme tune from the Dick Van Dyke Show.

I’ve also dreamed a few times about Tazzy and Piggy but thankfully I’ve forgotten the content. And frankly, I don’t want to know.

And then there’s Ayem8y and Jason. I’ve dreamed about the two of them (together) three times!

Ayem8y responded to my dream by saying, “I assume that I was curling your lashes while Jason painted your toenails.”

Makes perfect sense to me.

And now over to you, bitches.

Have you had dreams about fellow bloggers?

Tell us about it!

Shower Soap

Meanwhile, back at the Infomaniac Gymnasium, Mistress MJ ponders which soap dispenser to install in the showers.

Filthy Friday – Botanical Edition

This week’s Filthy Friday image is courtesy of Ms. Nations, she of the green thumb.

Actual quote from Ms. Nations’ blog: “WORSHIP MY MIND BOGGLING ABILITY TO MAKE PLANTS GROW! MUAHAHAHAHA!”



Yes, Ms. Nations is a goddess of the garden and is the author of the best-selling “Creating a Backyard Paradise: Turn Your Old Toilet or Truck Tires into Decorative Planters”.

Nonetheless, we here at Infomaniac consider this to be a highly unorthodox planter.

Filthy Friday Fundraiser

Thank you for your generous donations.

People like you make it possible for us to continue to post filth on Fridays.



See you tomorrow with another edition of Filthy Friday.

*hightails it outta town with cash*

Money Maker Inspection

It has come to Mistress MJ’s attention that some of you are withholding funds.



If you are serious about receiving your weekly Filthy Friday post, you will pay up NOW!

See yesterday's post if confused.

Make A Deposit

(subtitle "Tits and Ass"...see Update)

Mistress MJ is taking a couple of days off to attend to important business.

Make a deposit in the slot below if you want Infomaniac to return on Filthy Friday …


[via the fabulous Jason]

UPDATE!

Happy Birthday, XL!

Mistress MJ just found out through Miss Savannah that January 20th is an extra special day.

‘Tis the birthday of Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer and IT Consultant, the wonderful XL!



Please join us (after you’ve made a deposit in the slot) by wishing XL a happy birthday.

Note to XL: How is it possible that you weren’t on Infomaniac’s birthday list? Apologies from The Management.

You Better Work It

Mistress MJ sees you sat on your fat arse.

Get yourself into the Infomaniac Gymnasium.



I have one thing to say …you better work, bitch!


[via]

Buy New Underwear Day

Most of you slovenly bitches are walking around in worn out, ill-fitting, unattractive underwear.

Mistress MJ sees your saggy, elasticized waistbands and ratty old gussets full of holes.



But the worst offenders are those of you wearing comedy boxer shorts …



Infomaniac declares today BUY NEW UNDERWEAR DAY.

If you don’t have the time to purchase new underwear, then for heaven’s sake at least have a rummage through your drawers and discard a few pairs of old knickers.

Better yet, recycle and use them to polish your mirrors.

Or sell them to Japanese salarymen!…



Let us know how you get on with all this.

Happy Birthday, Kapitano!

Mistress MJ has been spirited away by faeries and cannot join you.

But speaking of faeries, why don’t you buy our Kapitano a birthday drink? …


[via]



Note: To those who have sent emails inquiring about your Mistress’ health/state of mind (you know who you are and thank you) or sent filthy fotos via email (Ms. Nations) … Mistress MJ will respond asap.