Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Merry Christmas, Bitches!

We here at Infomaniac hope that you will not be affected by the candy cane shortage aka the Candy Cane Crisis of 2021...

In any case, it's time for The Mistress to don her Mistletoe Belt Buckle - an Infomaniac annual tradition. Unlike the Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event (now hosted by Mr. DeVice) and the Definitive History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts (now managed by Rimpy Rimpington), The Mistress has not yet farmed out the Mistletoe Belt Buckle tradition.

Merry Christmas, Bitches! And stay safe.

27 comments:

  1. I clicked the link only to discover an absence of fat, naked old men. Most peculiar. But what I did discover was something even worse: there is such a thing as a kale and ham flavoured candy cane! What sort of monster would create such an abomination?!?

    Anyway, should I not make it on the day (or you're too "busy" doing something other than attending to your blog), Merry Christmas Very Mistress! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. DeVice: Click here to place your order.

      And a very Happy Christmas to you.

      Delete
  2. I'm not sure if I ever realized that was a belt buckle.

    These days, I'm not sure of anything.

    Actually, only sure about Infomaniac.

    Bless us, one and all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: Not sure there was a belt buckle? How do you think I keep my pants up?

      Happy chakakhan, hon.

      Delete
    2. I'd ask for a Christmas group hug, including Mr DeVice above, but worry where Normas's hands may go.

      Delete
    3. I'm quite sure none of us ever worried about you keeping your pants up.

      Delete
    4. PEENEE: Aren’t pants best worn at ankle level, anyway?

      Delete
    5. Dear, dear Mistressa, 'Easy Access' is her middle name.

      Delete
    6. Why complicate matters, Norma?

      Delete
  3. Happy Christmas from one Mistress to another!!!

    I was wondering if you rolled out the Mistletoe Belt Buckle, that doubles as a bar of soap? Bound to be a best seller sweet cakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Soap? Good idea. After all, the soap dispensers at the Infomaniac Gymnasium were a huge success.

      Delete
    2. Don't drop your belt buckle in the shower!

      Delete
  4. Happy Christmas, Dearest Mistress!!!!
    I would offer to take on the belt buckle duties, but alas, I have my hands full with all the golden balls!
    Sxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss Scarlet: Happy Christmas to you!

      I really don’t know how you find the time to juggle all those balls.

      Delete
  5. I was hit low by the cream cheese shortage, apparently. I ordered a bunch of cinnamon rolls for the relatives that I still speak to and today, 2 days before Xmas, cinnabon sends me a sweet little note saying none of them can be delivered. Just another reason to join the War on christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: If we wage war on Christmas, let’s lob cinnamon rolls at the enemy. Oh, wait a minute. Damn cream cheese shorage.

      Delete
    2. Plenty of cream cheese in Minnesota,
      shmear here!

      Delete
    3. NORMA: Ah yes, Minnesota – home of the Spufull Puff. Mashed sweet potatoes blended with sweetened CREAM CHEESE, then wrapped in dough and fried. Lightly dusted with powdered sugar and served with maple dipping sauce on the side.

      I’ve had worse things in my mouth.

      Delete
    4. I've never heard of that particular delicacy,
      but I've certainly heard about that mouth of yours.

      Delete
  6. Happy Christmas!

    I too see it as a bar of soap, a posh one from Lush, very apt given the present day situation. I'm not fussed for peppermint, rots the teeth you know. Nearly every American recipe I've followed for cakes and biscuits contained cinnamon they go mad for it, whereas the British favour the hallucinogenic effects of nutmeg.

    I can't get grapefruit juice for love nor money so I have to squeeze my own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: I’m assuming that Carmen will squeeze your grapefruits?

      Delete
  7. I suppose that elf’s little asshole tastes like peppermint. Merry Christmas to all ya’ll.

    ReplyDelete