Where to start on this one? I mean, Bernard-by-day, Bernadette-by-night's outfit (and the fact she appears to be floating in mid-air) are startling enough, and the hideous poodle ornament and ghastly framed picture (in easy-wipe plastic no doubt) are no doubt nowadays languishing in Mitzi's local antiques emporium with an eye-watering price label because of their "ironic" nature, but the urine-stain at the bottom of that oddly shaped sofa-thing really sets off the whole picture... Jx
Bernie's not floating on air, he's sitting on the back corner of the "meublement"!
What that thing is, is the curved corner of a sectional who left & right sides are somewhere else in the room, probably pushed together to make a long sofa.
WHat a very strange piece of meublement, "sofa-thing" as Jon called it - and this plastic cover ... the longer I look at this, the more unreal it becomes.
It's the plastic slip cover that has me running out the door! I'll meet you back in the parking lot. Probably on my hands and knees trying to help a fella out.
It is the gilt framed faded landscape that is bothering me... actually I am just bothered by all of it. She has smokers' legs - yes, this is a thing. Sx
The ill colored walls. The torchiere lamp without a shade. (And YES, those lamps are meant to have a drum shade on them.) The soiled plastic that someone pooped on. And the dime store plastic poodle meant to look like Capodimonte. The apartment smells of the Turkish Restaurant below it, the dried urine from the previous tenant's cat. By day, he is a sales person in an E.J. Korvette Store - "Stale Dale" his coworkers call him. But by night, after a rocks glass of cheap scotch, Dale becomes the star of the show, Miss Vi Sol in a Night of Illusion. Vi who works for tips, and dishes out advice to the young Queens. "Sugar," says she, "Never buy a dress made of acetate, because it rip and show you Assahole."
No doubt Sondheim had this in mind when he wrote,
ReplyDelete"Hi ho The Glamorous Life."
Where to start on this one? I mean, Bernard-by-day, Bernadette-by-night's outfit (and the fact she appears to be floating in mid-air) are startling enough, and the hideous poodle ornament and ghastly framed picture (in easy-wipe plastic no doubt) are no doubt nowadays languishing in Mitzi's local antiques emporium with an eye-watering price label because of their "ironic" nature, but the urine-stain at the bottom of that oddly shaped sofa-thing really sets off the whole picture... Jx
ReplyDeleteIt's Joan Collins showing off her council flat in Hull.
DeleteBernie's not floating on air, he's sitting on the back corner of the "meublement"!
DeleteWhat that thing is, is the curved corner of a sectional who left & right sides are somewhere else in the room, probably pushed together to make a long sofa.
Can someone please explain how the urine stain ended up not on one of the seat cushions but near floor level?
DeleteThe ancient incontinent poodle is just out of camera-shot. Jx
DeleteAnd it's considering humping the hideous poodle ornament.
DeleteWHat a very strange piece of meublement, "sofa-thing" as Jon called it - and this plastic cover ... the longer I look at this, the more unreal it becomes.
ReplyDeleteThe plastic slip cover really is what won me over.
ReplyDeleteIt's the plastic slip cover that has me running out the door! I'll meet you back in the parking lot. Probably on my hands and knees trying to help a fella out.
DeleteOh my!!!! Why I never.....Well Blue...let's wait to slip out for 20 minutes...we wouldn't want to draw attention.
DeleteI'm concerned about her smoking so close to the plastic slip cover.
ReplyDeleteJeez, but if you're gonna go barelegged, at least shave your legs, honey! Or am I missing the point? ;) xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt just stuck me...he could pass for a rough looking Eve Arden
ReplyDeleteIt is the gilt framed faded landscape that is bothering me... actually I am just bothered by all of it.
ReplyDeleteShe has smokers' legs - yes, this is a thing.
Sx
Skeptical about smokers' legs, I Googled it and yes, it is a thing. Apolgies for ever doubting you, Miss Scarlet.
DeleteThe ill colored walls. The torchiere lamp without a shade. (And YES, those lamps are meant to have a drum shade on them.) The soiled plastic that someone pooped on. And the dime store plastic poodle meant to look like Capodimonte. The apartment smells of the Turkish Restaurant below it, the dried urine from the previous tenant's cat. By day, he is a sales person in an E.J. Korvette Store - "Stale Dale" his coworkers call him. But by night, after a rocks glass of cheap scotch, Dale becomes the star of the show, Miss Vi Sol in a Night of Illusion. Vi who works for tips, and dishes out advice to the young Queens. "Sugar," says she, "Never buy a dress made of acetate, because it rip and show you Assahole."
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: As much as I want to spray Febreze liberally, I know it's not going to help.
ReplyDelete