Thursday, June 05, 2014

Perv of the Day

When asked if the cucumber offender appeared threatening to the staff or patrons, a police officer said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat.



“I don’t think he had any free hands to make any threat,” the officer said.

Story here.
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28 comments:

  1. Mistress Maddie10:56 AM, June 05, 2014

    I came back from Newport for this? Can't you serve cucumber sandwiches the traditional way?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:49 PM, June 05, 2014

      MISTRESS MADDIE: Doesn’t this classify as “finger food?”

      Delete
  2. ayeM8y11:57 AM, June 05, 2014

    "Police officer said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat."

    What about all those poor fruits and vegetables? I'm sure they were terrified. Who knows the ordinary objects we come in contact with on a daily basis that have previously been up this guys ass.

    *checks stock prices on Purell

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:58 AM, June 05, 2014

    Should this happen in our library he could be sure to have the cucumber inserted mit Schmackes before he's kicked out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LẌ2:14 PM, June 05, 2014

    Given the décor, I'm thinking there are Avocado or Harvest Gold appliances in the kitchen and laundry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:50 PM, June 05, 2014

      LX: And a shag rake.

      Delete
    2. mrpeenee10:23 PM, June 05, 2014

      I was offended by the upholstery myself.

      Delete
    3. The Mistress5:53 AM, June 06, 2014

      PEENEE: Plastic covers would be an improvement and it’s rare you hear me say THAT.

      Delete
  5. Canadian Girl5:23 PM, June 05, 2014

    I just read this on an online newspaper. Nothing like this happens at my library! We have to watch out for the old guys looking at 'dating' sites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:51 PM, June 05, 2014

      CANADIAN GIRL: Be thankful you’re not in Cleveland.

      As for those old guys, they’re probably using our Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.

      Delete
  6. kabuki zero6:16 PM, June 05, 2014

    kabuki keeps the cukes in the fridge. just an old fashioned kabuki am kabuki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:51 PM, June 05, 2014

      kabuki: Rumour has it that you keep your panties in the ice box.

      Delete
  7. Jon7:10 PM, June 05, 2014

    Time for a little musical interlude, methinks... Jx

    ReplyDelete
  8. normadesmond10:32 PM, June 05, 2014

    pleased to see he's using a finer, english cuke.

    they're burpless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress5:54 AM, June 06, 2014

      NORMA: We’re not concerned what’s coming out from THAT end.

      Delete
  9. Mitzi 6:09 PM, June 06, 2014

    I prefer a marrow. Oh, what a beauty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:30 PM, June 06, 2014

      MITZI: Beast once chased me with a marrow after I’d waved a courgette at him in a menacing manner.

      Delete
    2. normadesmond6:32 PM, June 06, 2014

      sadly i must report that i know someone who named their corgi, courgette.

      Delete
    3. The Mistress6:35 PM, June 06, 2014

      NORMA: Better "Courgette" than "Zucchini."

      Delete
  10. Unknown8:02 AM, June 13, 2014

    Cruelty to cucumbers should be outlawed.

    ReplyDelete

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