Monday, February 25, 2013

Petra's Red Carpet Bitch Fest

It's been a long time since we've heard a peep from Denmark's biggest poof / Infomaniac Bitch, Petra of Petra's Palace.

Click here to read Petra's fashion critique of this year's red carpet styles.



Amanda Seyfried wearing Alexander McQueen. At first glance I couldn't make up my mind about it but now I really like the dress. Not keen on the hair though and maybe this dress wasn't the right one for her because of the armpit wrinkle fat which is cruel to talk about but it's just there. LOOK!...



Petra seems a little obsessed by women's "crotchal areas" and "armpit fat" and is deluded about snagging George Clooney as his future husband, but all in all, an enjoyable presentation of the Oscars red carpet 2013.

Welcome back, Petra!

23 comments:

  1. The excess titty fat has to go somewhere darling...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess I best be of to vist our little danish cream poof...

    Oh and First!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: Frankly, I’m disappointed that Petra didn’t show us what he was wearing.

      Delete
    2. I'm just glad he wasn't going through another "Blue Period"... Remember the FGES saga?

      Delete
    3. PRINNY: Petra's "Blue Period?"

      Don’t remind me!

      Delete
  3. I have bits of Sellotape stuck behind my ears to hold my face up, I will make a note to used this method on my armpits should it ever be warm enough for me to take my cardy off.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: Warm enough for you to remove your cardy?

      You ARE kidding, aren’t you?

      Delete
    2. Sadly not. Plus the cardy is over a jumper and I have soggy tissues stuffed in the cuffs.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. You are just one set of hair curlers away from Hilda Ogden, Miss Scarlet.

      Delete
  4. Why thank you darlings! MJ you are too kind.

    Had I known about this I'd have tried to solve the mystery of how a skinny bitch like Amanda Seyfried also can have back fat issues. Bless.

    Oh, and technically THIRD!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PETRA: I’m going to need more of your Moët & Chandon if I discover I have back fat issues.

      Delete
    2. I'm sure you do. Everyone in tight backless outfits do, unless they're completely anorexic

      Delete
  5. Now I am mentally dressing MY husband, George Clooney, in this dress......he has such cute armpit fat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *makes popcorn, takes seat front row centre and prepares for Petra/Topher catfight*

      Delete
    2. *takes up a seat next to MJ*
      "pass the popcorn bitch... My money's on Petra"

      Delete
    3. *Inspects hands and starts filing talons*

      Delete
  6. when kabuki told george about the pansies fighting over his affection he just pulled the covers over his head. he is so cute wfen he pouts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kabuki: Has George Clooney been in your bed all this time?

      Delete
  7. Halle Berry looked like she was wearing one of the elevator doors from the Empire State Building; sheesh. George Clooney would have looked better in that. Or out of that. Out of pretty much everything, come to think of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NATIONS: Apparently, George Clooney looks good wrapped in kabuki’s Egyptian cotton sheets.

      Delete
  8. Shirley Bassey wiped the floor with the lot of em.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: That’s DAME Shirley Bassey to the rest of them.

      Delete
  9. Perhaps that's a scar, aren't some titty-implant procedures done by inserting around the area of the armpits ?

    ReplyDelete