Mistress MJ is on holidays in La Belle Province, where, apparently, they have air conditioning!...
And gaiety!...
[via]
Mistress MJ looks forward to soaking up the culture and atmosphere of Quebec…
[thanks, Huggy Jon!]
While I’m away, you Bitches can get cracking on submitting your gardening photos. And remember to include a brief blurb with your photos.Click here to see last year’s garden pics.
If you don’t have a garden, send a photo of your houseplants or lawn ornaments. Or for those style queens amongst you, a photo of your artfully arranged cut flowers.
A bientôt, Bitches!
See you soon!
Friday, July 20, 2012
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Je me souviens!
ReplyDeleteI saw that on a license plate once!
Make that twice!
ReplyDeleteso, your life is just one long vacation?
ReplyDeleteYES, IT IS, NORMA!
DeleteIs there anything WRONG with that?
why not at all darling!
Deletejust make sure and send me a cable when you hit the continent....or when that runaway glacier hits you.
At least one civilized island in the ocean of wilderness over there ...
ReplyDeleteRight you are, Herr Mago.
DeleteHappy Holidays!!!!
ReplyDeleteErm... please don't shout at me, but when is the deadline for the gardening pics?
Sx
Mistress MJ has already used up her energy reserves shouting at Norma.
DeleteThe deadline will be announced in August.
*whispers*...but get a move on!
Oh dear...had I known you were vacationing in the Eden of the North I would have been much less strident in my demands yesterday. I do apologize. I do's. Even though I had to Febreeze my computer to get the smell of duck cheese and copper alloy out of the cpu. Have a wonderful time, my darling! Enjoy the air conditioning and the poutine! And the air conditioned poutine! X
ReplyDeleteIf I can find a postcard of poutine, I'm sending it to you.
DeleteI would also like a poutine postcard, s'il vous plaît!
DeleteFor the best poutine in town, go THERE. Open 24/7 and more than 28 types of poutines. can't be more serious about poutine than that!
DeleteSacré bleu! La Bacon Poutine!
DeleteThat settles it, I'm ready for a Montreal vacation!
Wait! I didn't know they even have a photo album! Some of them look totally DISGUSTING!
Delete"L'Abreuvoir" is with "sliced pogo" - dear Jon, can you please tell me what they slice over the ... well, specialty?
DeleteI am sure the photographs do no justice to the marvellous meal. I'd join XL and try it - just put that vodka bottle on ice and keep the glass filled ...
Have a great time, MJ! And stay out of jail.
ReplyDeleteTHOM: Thank you for not saying "rehab."
DeleteAir conditioning the height of luxury! Do they have bidets over there too? I do enjoy a bidet, it keeps my man-fanny nice and fresh. Please send me one of those sailor boys, one with navy blue eyes, it's been over a week! Have a wonderful time.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: I shall do whatever I can to keep your flanges fresh.
DeleteI forgot what we have to remember!!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's something about making sure to avoid those aweful Los Tabarnacos! Eeew!
Câlin & gros bisou.
Huggy Jon
28 days of poutine delights! Be careful or you'll return looking like the side of a house living on that stuff darling.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful time!
AIR-CONDITIONED poutine, yet.
ReplyDeleteSorry Ms Nations, this one is not on the menu yet! Perhaps you could create it!
Deletekiss them for me....
ReplyDeleteBITCHES: Enough with the poutine!
ReplyDeletePoutine is not the only item on the menu in Quebec, you know.
Click here for a truly heavenly French-Canadian delicacy.
Nun's fart! YAY!
DeleteNonnenfürlze (pics), a Suebian thing ...
DeleteIt seems that nun flatulence is universal.
Deletewe have pet de nonnes down here too.
DeleteOf course we cajuns would.
Oh... I've just looked poutine up... I thought it was chicken... but it's just chips and gravy... with cheese????
ReplyDeleteWhat are you lot like?
Sx
MISS SCARLET: Well THAT is the pot calling the kettle black.
DeleteHow about you lot with your pork faggots?
*bites tongue*
ReplyDeleteMS. NATIONS: Does it taste like a corn dog?
DeleteMore like cigarillo ...
DeleteHave no fear beautiful maiden, kabuki shall keep the home fires burning. But why would you vacation IN canada? Kabuki thinks you should review your vacation plans, and set sail for Pismo Beach. That is where Bugs Bunny always headed, and he was one smart rabbit. ps be alert for polkadot queen sightings
ReplyDeletekabooks: But didn’t Bugs Bunny take a wrong turn in Albuquerque?
DeleteIt all sounds very FRENCH . How ghastly :-( . Have a marvellous time :-)
ReplyDeleteBEAST: I shall be on the lookout for the Quebec equivalent of Walnut World.
DeleteOr Le Monde du Walnut as it’s known in those parts.
Did I win?
ReplyDeletekabooks: Kabuki is always a winner.
DeleteI'm just surprised that Lx didn't have a panic attack since the departure of our Mistress!
ReplyDeleteHUGGY JON: Mr. Lax is busy with his pussy.
DeleteClick on his blog for further details.
He's actually more in deers now ...
Deletei'm in LOS ANGELES, sugar! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteits so cold. i am afraid. where is my mj? SOB
ReplyDeleteQidnapped by Quebekkers? Or done in by nun farts?
ReplyDeleteI actually just spotted her on Ste-Catherine street bying a pair of those!
DeleteAre you back yet?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of .... where have YOU been????
DeleteActually kabuki never left. Kabuki was just hanging out in the grotto. Kabuki likes to feed the alligators when MJ is away.
ReplyDelete... hmbfl ... loveya ... comeback when itsright
ReplyDeleteMistress?
ReplyDelete[begins panic attack from separation anxiety]
Now you see Mistress, you have no other choice but to end your vacation right now. Lx is panicking.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear me?
LX IS PANICKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
I think she ran away with a yodeling cowboy.
DeleteI'm thinking The Mistress knows a thing or two about yodeling!
DeleteShe may secretly work on the Koenigsjodler ...
DeleteDid I medal?
ReplyDeleteThat'll be COPPER for you!
DeleteOh what the FUCK. I just came back from vacation. I came back with brilliance and dispatch and posted right up like a good electronic citizen. This has gone on long enough I say. There is NOTHING in Canada worth forgetting us bitches for this long! AND LX IS PANICKING!!!!!!!! HAVE YOU NO PITY???
ReplyDeleteYes, please come back soon.... your tan looks fab enough. I am in need of some normality right now!
ReplyDeleteSx
*spooning heated brandy between LX's clenched teeth*
ReplyDeleteTHSNNKKSS!*
Delete*thanks
Did you bite the bullet?
Deletewhere exactly, is the princess of pleasure? one would think she took a slow boat to china for vacay. kabuki swears MJ was in the olympic stadium for men's beach volleyball. Towel Girl indeed!
ReplyDeleteI saw her at the opening ceremony, wearing a peasant dress and hitching her skirts up at the choir boys. Very good method acting, I must say.
Delete...that wasn't acting...
DeleteSx
There were choir boys???
DeleteYes... Just checking to see if I wrote choir boys.
ReplyDeleteA bootleg, 'from-the-stands' video on YouTube shows MJ crouched beneath the keyboard busily at 'work' while Mr. Bean plays. Note his expressions in the official release.
ReplyDeleteA biting bitch ...
DeleteMJ's been spotted lounging and drinking beer on the shores of the Laurentian River: http://flic.kr/p/xrnVw
ReplyDeleteAfter her bar room fight that is, where she got punched and kicked in the eyes!
DeleteToo thin I guess, Riley, Jon's more to it I'd say ...
DeleteWhere is the bitch? How long can a stupid sex change take anyway?
ReplyDeleteThey're waiting for the metallurgist to get back to them, but reliable information (Jon) sez they needed a team of draft horses just to carry the dick away.
ReplyDeleteBut there were all these Japanee volunteers ...
DeleteIsn't she here in the audience (at 01:03 or so) ...?
ReplyDelete...wearing the cake hat. Yup. I'd know those missing teeth anywhere!
DeleteWELL SPOTTED FRANCONIA!!
kabuki will make sure his next vacation is spent with MJ, who apparently spends WEEKS at a time touring the continent. Must be a big purse to carry all that cash she is spending. Or perhaps an alligator valise? Because we know she don't do croc.
ReplyDeleteI thought I saw her stroking in the cockless pairs....
ReplyDeleteI have had a postcard from the Mistress - she is in 1967 and is enjoying herself!
ReplyDeleteSx
But of course, Ms Blue! Why didn't I think of that. That's why I havent been able to spot her around town. She's at the 67 World's Fair. She looks so very sassy in that yellow dress!
DeleteShe is also using a tardis to travel and is going to visit me in the future... hopefully she will be sober enough to bring back some future lottery numbers on her return to the present.
DeleteSx
I've had one off her too, she's in 1953 now and is being ordained by Cardinal Paul-Émile Léger! Isn't it exciting? It reminds me of a book I've just read off Kindle The Psammead Trilogy, I wonder if she has met a talking phoenix that is giving her free rides through time and space on a magic carpet.
Deleteif she was wondering how kabuki looks in the next age, she need not have bothered. kabuki will look FABULOUS! kabuki has been assured this by the canadian physic hotline damsels, who for $1.99 a minute speak the future truth
ReplyDeletePlease don't give the physic damsels my location. I've got enough smooth moves without their ass
ReplyDeleteistance.
...god I am so sorry. *hangs head in shame*
SHE'S BEEN SPOTTED!
ReplyDeleteNow beeeble, led's face it.... Our mmmiztress izzz dead! Sheez been gaught in zhe dime-sbace gondinuuuuum... yeah, dad's it.... som'where 'round two hundred...... BC. Shheeez aint EVAH gomin' bag'..... Dey held her fffuneral yezderday... in Od'wa... lods, LODSSS of very famous beeeble... even dhe brime binister... som'thin' Harber... Ralf Harber... Roger.... NO... who gaaares!...... and ya know wut??? KD Lang waz sss'poze to zing dhe nashhh'nal andem...... reagae style! Yeah... dad's right.... REAGGAE!!! OH GANADAAAAH! OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAAAAND!...... But shheez didn' want to lower herzelf to such..... ya know...... low...... So insdead... dey god Sdombin' Dom Gonnors to do it..........
ReplyDeleteI'M NOT MMAKING DISS UP YA KNOW!!!....
And NONE of us were invided.... dey don't like us.... in fact... I'v heard dey want to erase aaaall dracks leading MJ to dee Innnvomaniac..... I'm dellin' ya.... so ya bedder geep a low brofile oth'wize ya might get a v'zzit.... yeah.... a vizzitt from de arse-see-hemm-pee...... aldhough... gomme to dink ov'it.... it'd be raaader nice to get grop'd, ffffrisk'd and sssssearch'd by a bbbunch of zzzexy mountiezz..... Anywayzz.... sheeez dead! Kaaaaaaaa Puuuttt! DHE BIDCH IZZ DEEEEEAD! LONG LIVE DHE BIDCH! Now I dink itss 'bout dime we make some reMAWd'lin' in here..... first dat HHheeedeous plaid room.... God, I've always HAAAted dat room!... I say we turn it into a LEADER ROOOOM... leader.... EVVV'RYWHERE.... leader gouches and leader armchairs... and leader carbets and leader badded walls... yesss.... and leader beds with leader sssheets and leader billows.... And dat lounge... DAT LOUNGE.... I GAN'T take dat disgusssding bink lounge anymore.......... Oh my Gaaawd! diss ssstuf izz sooooooo goooood.... y'all look soooo gorgeous, beeeeble.... Norma... wats dat aura around you??? izz dat a new kind of hairspray ya're usin'.... oh my.... bidches... ya're ALL gloooowiiiing.... lotsa rainbow golours are vlowing around ya.... wooooh.... diss izz sssso bee-yoooo-tiful!! Mizz Nation izz dancing on de yellow brig road...... Maddie honey... ya're ssdanding too glose to me, I gan feel your eyelashes brushing my tusssh..... And look up there!!! .... Itsss a biiiird.... itsss a blaaane.... NO! Itss PRINCESS riding a flying mongey.... or maybe itss the mongey riding Princess.... Oh! itss ssssooo bee-yoooo-teee-fooolll! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUU AAAAALL!!!
*thud*
I biss her soooo buch!
ReplyDelete*sobs*
*thud*
Have you got a cold?
DeleteSx
As I understood Jon loves the plaid room and wants to spend ages in it - has anybody got the keys?
DeleteMy lovey, we all miss her. But our aim is improving. Meanwhile you lay off the acid. Drugs are not the answer. At least not to this question. I don't think.
ReplyDelete*lets Cowardly Lion smell cheerful gingham basket and watches as he darts off and returns with 'dinner'... grabs welding torch, turns Tin Woodsman into a barbecue, fires off Scarecrow, roasts Toto*
If that bitch thinks I'm going to put together a PayPal account for her bail money, she can just think again.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible the comment section on this post has simply become the new Infomaniac blog?
I dreamt about MJ last night, in my dream she was rushed to hospital by an air ambulance to have a new hip fitted, when I visited her in hospital she was surrounded by nuns with black and white minstrel faces all doing jazz hands, I just said "bad girl" and tapped MJ hard on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and then walked away. What could this mean?
ReplyDeleteDown deep inside you're really a broadway musical playwrite.... with control issues?
Deletekabuki just received a ransom note. She is being held by The Chippendougs, a canadian male stripper cult. They demanded $20 or promised to do unspeakable horrors to our beloved MJ. Of course kabuki threw the note away. She can thank kabuki later
ReplyDeleteregistration will be closing soon!
ReplyDeleteTo the Oubliette!
ReplyDeleteALL of you!!!
Last!!
ReplyDelete(Just to make it 100...)