Sunday, March 13, 2011

Gay Marriage Guide

[via Zenfancy]

Mistress MJ would like more details regarding the “complete homosexual instructive photos.”
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27 comments:

  1. LẌ11:05 AM, March 13, 2011

    VOL. 1

    How many volumes are there?

    ReplyDelete
  2. jason11:09 AM, March 13, 2011

    "That laundry there isn't going to do itself, buddy"

    ReplyDelete
  3. designing wally11:09 AM, March 13, 2011

    MJ, they didn't put a towel down...

    hai xl

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Mistress11:23 AM, March 13, 2011

    XL: VOL. 1
    How many volumes are there?

    Are you interested in ordering the complete set?

    JASON: "That laundry there isn't going to do itself, buddy"

    One can only hope they hire a houseboy.

    WALLY: MJ, they didn't put a towel down...
    hai xl

    Shocking!

    It’s draped casually over the sofa without regard for basic hygiene issues.

    ReplyDelete
  5. TB11:27 AM, March 13, 2011

    Too young for a marriage manuel, should be illustrating "First Date No No's".

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Mistress12:10 PM, March 13, 2011

    TB: Too young for a marriage manuel, should be illustrating "First Date No No's".

    Which dating rule are they violating?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ms Scarlet12:14 PM, March 13, 2011

    At least they don't have to worry about any wayward uterusi.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Mistress12:22 PM, March 13, 2011

    SCARLET: At least they don't have to worry about any wayward uterusi.

    Hear, hear.

    I have asked to come back in my next lifetime as a man.

    I’m practicing peeing standing up as we speak.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ms Scarlet12:26 PM, March 13, 2011

    ...you'll get your socks wet.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Mistress12:29 PM, March 13, 2011

    SCARLET: ...you'll get your socks wet.

    Not necessarily so, Miss Scarlet.

    I have road tested a lot of pee gadgetry.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ms Scarlet12:37 PM, March 13, 2011

    I supposed an ordinary funnel would work okay... but would have to wash it up well before ever using it in the kitchen again...
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Inexplicable DeVice12:51 PM, March 13, 2011

    You could save yourself $5 and just google "complete homosexual instructive photos".
    Although you would have to sort through an awful lot of dross to find anything of value.
    Perhaps it'd be best to ignore me and just buy the book in the first place.

    Besides, Infomaniac is the first site that comes up when googled anyway...

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Mistress1:04 PM, March 13, 2011

    SCARLET: supposed an ordinary funnel would work okay... but would have to wash it up well before ever using it in the kitchen again...

    I suggest one for the kitchen and one for the car.

    IVD: You could save yourself $5 and just google "complete homosexual instructive photos".
    Although you would have to sort through an awful lot of dross to find anything of value.
    Perhaps it'd be best to ignore me and just buy the book in the first place.
    Besides, Infomaniac is the first site that comes up when googled anyway...

    On your advice, I Googled “"complete homosexual instructive photos" and you’re right…Infomaniac IS the first site that pops up!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kapitano1:31 PM, March 13, 2011

    When it says "Complete Homosexual Instructive Photos", does is mean the instructive photos are completely homosexual? Or are are they uncropped photos of a homosexual instructive?

    Or are they photos telling you how to be completely gay? 'Cos I think I'm not as gay as I could be.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kelly Red2:48 PM, March 13, 2011

    I don't know, the one guy looks like he's making out with a department store manikin? Flaccid dick and mouth, the dull eye stare, show some excitement damn it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Cool Cookie4:05 PM, March 13, 2011

    Instructional photographs? Do you mean to tell me that the Husband and I could have looked at pictures instead stumbling about and over each other for the past fourteen years?

    Do they have instructional photographs on how we are to divie up duties like folding laundry, sharing the television and the like?
    As for the two on the cover - I don't think they are going to make it. That one on the bottom looks like he just lies there while being laid there.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Mistress4:28 PM, March 13, 2011

    KAPI: When it says "Complete Homosexual Instructive Photos", does is mean the instructive photos are completely homosexual? Or are are they uncropped photos of a homosexual instructive?
    Or are they photos telling you how to be completely gay? 'Cos I think I'm not as gay as I could be.

    I recall you telling me that you’ve never watched Valley of the Dolls.

    That alone is proof that you’re not as gay as you could be.

    KELLY RED: I don't know, the one guy looks like he's making out with a department store manikin? Flaccid dick and mouth, the dull eye stare, show some excitement damn it!

    Have you considered a career as a porno director?

    Think about it.

    COOKIE: Instructional photographs? Do you mean to tell me that the Husband and I could have looked at pictures instead stumbling about and over each other for the past fourteen years?
    Do they have instructional photographs on how we are to divie up duties like folding laundry, sharing the television and the like?
    As for the two on the cover - I don't think they are going to make it. That one on the bottom looks like he just lies there while being laid there.

    Simply follow Zsa Zsa’s matrimonial advice and you can’t go wrong…

    "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."

    AND

    “I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”

    ReplyDelete
  18. nursemyra4:34 PM, March 13, 2011

    Is it available on Kindle?

    ReplyDelete
  19. designing wally4:50 PM, March 13, 2011

    Is there a chapter on how I should handle his wife?
    Not being funny here, I am on a need-to-know basis....
    Again.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress4:54 PM, March 13, 2011

    NURSEMYRA: Is it available on Kindle?

    Possibly but you won’t get the same impact in black and white.

    WALLY: Is there a chapter on how I should handle his wife?
    Not being funny here, I am on a need-to-know basis....
    Again.

    I think Kapitano is the expert on THAT subject.

    ReplyDelete
  21. CyberPete5:22 PM, March 13, 2011

    "I need to get milk and eggs at the shop tomorrow. I also need to make him do the ironing tomorrow"

    ReplyDelete
  22. BEAST6:23 PM, March 13, 2011

    Jesus if you need a manual , just give it up and get a hamster or something

    ReplyDelete
  23. Princess7:54 PM, March 13, 2011

    Does anyone need wedding flowers...
    I'm very good at wedding flowers...
    Marriage guide?
    The only difference is that the happy couple have matching bits...

    Everything else is the same...

    And if a guide is needed after the knot has been tied then... there is something very very wrong...

    Get creative people and write your own guide!

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress9:17 PM, March 13, 2011

    BEAST: Jesus if you need a manual , just give it up and get a hamster or something

    Oh, hello Mr. CrankyPants.

    Someone obviously just came off a bad shift at Café C.

    PRINCESS: Does anyone need wedding flowers...
    I'm very good at wedding flowers...
    Marriage guide?
    The only difference is that the happy couple have matching bits...
    Everything else is the same...
    And if a guide is needed after the knot has been tied then... there is something very very wrong...
    Get creative people and write your own guide!

    It’s true…you DO excel at wedding flowers!

    Can you make boutonnieres that squirt water?

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress9:18 PM, March 13, 2011

    Oh crikey, I missed CyberPoof.

    Oh well...too late.

    ReplyDelete
  26. normadesmond11:03 PM, March 13, 2011

    gay marriage? it'll never catch on.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Mistress5:27 AM, March 14, 2011

    NORMADESMOND: gay marriage? it'll never catch on.

    We’ll all laugh and remind you of this when you throw your bouquet.

    ReplyDelete

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