Thursday, February 03, 2011

Bitch on the Beach

Behold Infomaniac Bitch Inexplicable DeVice (aka IVD or IDV) on a beach somewhere in Blighty…


Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to dream up a fantasy scenario to go along with this photo.

Let your imaginations run wild!

28 comments:

  1. 2nd - IVD is actually looking at me as I sit on the beach reading a book of salacious erotic poetry from the 17 th century.....

    He walks over - pops his fly and says seductively "It grows bigger than you think"

    Im hooked - and sucking down his spring roll faster than a Jewess at a 3.95$ all you can eat Vegas buffet.......

    Grrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffff

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  2. Erm... well that's a tricky comment to follow, Damien.
    I was thinking more on the lines of:
    Mr Devine saunters off to find Miss Scarlet a 99 cone and a sequined seaside windmill. But I'm sweet and innocent like that.
    SX

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  3. XL: IDV: He walks on water!

    It’s a miracle!

    DAMIEN: 2nd - IVD is actually looking at me as I sit on the beach reading a book of salacious erotic poetry from the 17 th century.....
    He walks over - pops his fly and says seductively "It grows bigger than you think"
    Im hooked - and sucking down his spring roll faster than a Jewess at a 3.95$ all you can eat Vegas buffet.......
    Grrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffff
    PS Shalom XL


    So you’d like to get your hands on his COCKles?

    SCARLET: Erm... well that's a tricky comment to follow, Damien.
    I was thinking more on the lines of:
    Mr Devine saunters off to find Miss Scarlet a 99 cone and a sequined seaside windmill. But I'm sweet and innocent like that.


    How about a jellied eel?

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  4. Not sure about the eels... I think I could handle a shrimp though.
    I'm sure Damien wouldn't give a shrimp a second glance.
    Sx

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  5. SCARLET: I think Damien could go for a jumbo shrimp.

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  6. My fantasy about IVD has nothing to do with a beach... (I loves me my tall men...mmmmmm)

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  7. IVD: My fantasy about IVD has nothing to do with a beach... (I loves me my tall men...mmmmmm)

    He’s 6’5.

    Will that do?

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  8. My fantasy scenario would be to have great hair and eyes that work.

    Actually, where are my eyes in that photo?

    Oh, Hai MJ, xl, Damien, Miss Scarlet and Cookie!

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  9. IVD: My fantasy scenario would be to have great hair and eyes that work.
    Actually, where are my eyes in that photo?
    Oh, Hai MJ, xl, Damien, Miss Scarlet and Cookie!


    Did Beaky peck out your eyes?

    Just look at the smile on his face.

    As for your hair, perhaps Mr. Frobisher will lend you his Bree Van de Kamp wig.

    Or you could book an appointment with Salon Manager Mr. Cookie at The Hair Hall of Fame!

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  10. Tall blond gay guy on a beach?

    No, I can't possibly make a fantasy out of that.

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  11. He has just finished throwing a bottle with a note inside into the ocean and now he's going to return to his every day life!

    Honestly no, I haven't a clue.

    He's cute though.

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  12. As dawn breaks and the Russian fleet way anchor and depart Norwich Docks heaving to around the headland (know locally as the Cape of Good Poke).
    An exhausted IVD minces accross the beach whistling a jaunty shanty and blatantly ignoring Miss Scarlets plaintive cry of 'Make Mine a 99'

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  13. What can I say bitches, he's hot.

    *sigh*

    And gay.

    And happily ensconsed.

    *sigh*

    Champagne anyone?

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  14. He is a Mer-man, returning to the sea where his legs will be returned to their flipper state and his man-peen will be replaced by a proper fish wang.

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  15. I'm up for some champagne Roses. Thank you darling.

    As for IDV, I could just sit on that beach with a bottle of Dom Perignon and just stare at him. For hours. He's so pretty.

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  16. he dreamed last night of his homeland - atlantis. realizing his true nature he seeks others like himself. with luck he can find another displaced atlantean - and together they shall make their way home. bitches.

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  17. His thoughts were on the space ship he had designed and the young Lady Rose who had put up the money for the interstellar drive unit and the dilithium crystals.
    He had but to speak the incantation he was shown, and the ship would be his.
    So the balance was, a ship that could take him and a few of his friends (no more than five hundred) and family could take to anywhere, including the planets Riiza or Fhlosten Paradise...
    and say the incantation, or...
    try to hitch a ride on the next fishing boat the hell out's there and never get to see the streamlined, ultra-sleek super transport ship of his own making.

    What did the incantation do, though?

    In the distance, a voice calls out for him...and barefeet running, trying to catch up...

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  18. IVD - your hair is fab. Do you know how much money people pay to have tousled hair like you have?

    Work that height of yours for all its worth!

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  19. MJ: * shudder * Ooh, I'd forgotten about that dratted smirking bird!

    I think I'll go with the Hair Hall of Fame appointment - I don't know where Frobi's had that wig.

    As if I'd ignore Miss Scarlet, BEAST!

    Oh, Kapi. How lovely of you to 'mistake' my silver-grey for blond.

    But just what does a fish wang look like, Miss Janey?

    And what in Christ are geoducks, Thombeau? They look phallic.

    * gasp * Kabuki! I am Atlantean! It would certainly explain this fish wang...

    boneman: It seems the incantation got Miss Scarlet off her feet - She's desperate for that 99!

    I shall let the wind do its work then, Cookie.

    Moonblossom, Roses & 'Petra: Thank you, thank you and thank you. * blushes *

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  20. is that what they're wearing to the beach nowadays?

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  21. BITCHES: Thankfully IVD stepped in to respond to comments whilst Mistress MJ was tied up with other business.

    IVD: Obviously you missed our Geoduck post.


    Fish wang…teehee.

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  22. Give me a plate of jumbo shrimp and IDV in a hot tub and I am IN !!!

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  23. Hold that hot tub thought, Damien.

    I have something planned for a future post.

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  24. This would make a great Bo Derek moment running down the beach in beaded cornrow.

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  25. HAYWARD: This would make a great Bo Derek moment running down the beach in beaded cornrow.

    You’re so right, Hayward.

    Let’s watch it.

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