Monday, September 13, 2010

Welcome Back, Bitches!


[via]

Please form an orderly queue as Mistress MJ takes roll call.

And do NOT pay any attention to Beast's fevered imagination.
Posted by at

42 comments:

  1. Vicus Scurra1:11 PM, September 13, 2010

    Have you been away? I didn't miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Mistress1:12 PM, September 13, 2010

    There's always ONE comedian.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LẌ1:13 PM, September 13, 2010

    Is this Canadian Groundhog Day?

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Mistress1:17 PM, September 13, 2010

    Make that two comedians.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CyberPete1:26 PM, September 13, 2010

    I'm not going down that road

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Mistress1:33 PM, September 13, 2010

    You turned north on 87, didn’t you, CyberPoof?

    ReplyDelete
  7. BEAST1:44 PM, September 13, 2010

    You will need a good going over with a rug cleaner after all that foot traffic

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Mistress2:19 PM, September 13, 2010

    Are you suggesting a good carpet-munching, Beast?

    ReplyDelete
  9. savannah2:49 PM, September 13, 2010

    WELCOME BACK!!

    i really did miss you, sugar! xoxoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  10. normadesmond3:35 PM, September 13, 2010

    like lemmings at a cliff.....

    ReplyDelete
  11. ayeM8y3:44 PM, September 13, 2010

    Yeah!

    I like your new place but it smells musty in here so I brought you a housewarming gift.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Karl3:55 PM, September 13, 2010

    Good afternoon MJ,

    Not wanting to be indiscreet, yet this reminds me of a joke about strapping on a 2 by 4.

    Welcome back

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stacia4:09 PM, September 13, 2010

    Darling, you're back!

    I had something to say about heteros and fedoras and revolving doors, but I lost it and am not willing to re-travel the path necessary to get it back.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Piggy and Tazzy4:11 PM, September 13, 2010

    Oh fuck. Its back.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Cool Cookie4:13 PM, September 13, 2010

    Mistress, The Holiday Inn, Buffalo City Centre, has called and they would like to return the two towels and the string art painting of the Roebling Bridge. They said you could keep the queen size bed spread.

    ReplyDelete
  16. jason5:13 PM, September 13, 2010

    Sixteenth!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Princess6:00 PM, September 13, 2010

    Oh...I see that you're on your "Welcome Back" Tour now...

    Or is this a holiday Snap..."Mistress Takes Berlin"?

    *assumes position for Bitch slap*

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Mistress7:25 PM, September 13, 2010

    SAVANNAH: WELCOME BACK!!
    i really did miss you, sugar!

    Did you get my postcard?

    NORMADESMOND: like lemmings at a cliff.....

    Nature knows best, darling.

    AYEM8Y: Yeah!
    I like your new place but it smells musty in here so I brought you a housewarming gift.

    And what about you?

    Has your rash cleared up yet?

    KARL: Good afternoon MJ,
    Not wanting to be indiscreet, yet this reminds me of a joke about strapping on a 2 by 4.
    Welcome back

    Karl, you naughty thing, you.

    STACIA: Darling, you're back!
    I had something to say about heteros and fedoras and revolving doors, but I lost it and am not willing to re-travel the path necessary to get it back.

    It’s the thought that counts.

    PIGGY AND TAZZY: Oh fuck. Its back.

    I love you too.

    MR. COOKIE: Mistress, The Holiday Inn, Buffalo City Centre, has called and they would like to return the two towels and the string art painting of the Roebling Bridge. They said you could keep the queen size bed spread.

    I refuse to surrender the Thomas Kinkade print.

    JASON: Sixteenth!

    Sweet sixteenth.

    PRINCESS: Oh...I see that you're on your "Welcome Back" Tour now...
    Or is this a holiday Snap..."Mistress Takes Berlin"?
    *assumes position for Bitch slap*

    Do you fancy an extended stay in the oubliette?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous7:27 PM, September 13, 2010

    I'll call you Nana from now on!

    Welcome BACK!

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress7:29 PM, September 13, 2010

    You most certainly will NOT call me such a ridiculous name.

    However, you may massage my feet while you're here.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous7:32 PM, September 13, 2010

    I'm rubbing my brains out! If not Nana, what about Niki?

    ReplyDelete
  22. LẌ7:33 PM, September 13, 2010

    "Did you get my postcard?"

    No. No, I didn't.

    [glares at MJ]

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous7:37 PM, September 13, 2010

    Cool new footwear, XL! And no, I do not want to shake hands ...

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress7:49 PM, September 13, 2010

    MAGO: I'm rubbing my brains out! If not Nana, what about Niki?

    You will call me Mistress MJ and you will get down on your knees when you address me.

    I’ve had quite enough of this insolence.

    XL: "Did you get my postcard?"
    No. No, I didn't.
    [glares at MJ]

    Savannah requested a postcard.

    I do not recall anyone else making such a request and even if they had, Mistress MJ certainly did not have time for postcard scribbling whilst taking over the world.

    MAGO: Cool new footwear, XL! And no, I do not want to shake hands ...

    Am I interrupting a private conversation?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous7:52 PM, September 13, 2010

    *rub* YesMistressThankYouMa'm ...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous9:29 PM, September 13, 2010

    Oh than god, the dog days of summer were endless without you!

    ReplyDelete
  27. mrpeenee10:12 PM, September 13, 2010

    Oh darling, how fabulously fabulous to have you back. Where's my fucking monkey?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Heff11:17 PM, September 13, 2010

    The more things change, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME !!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Roses2:42 AM, September 14, 2010

    *takes a swig from another bottle of Carib beer*

    I like the new carpet, but I'm still voting to re-decorate the Plaid Room.

    How's it hanging Mistress?

    Oh hai everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress3:42 AM, September 14, 2010

    MAGO: *rub* YesMistressThankYouMa'm ...

    Knee pads are thoughtfully provided for your comfort.

    ANONYMOUS: Oh than god, the dog days of summer were endless without you!

    Have we had the pleasure of meeting?

    MR. PEENEE: Oh darling, how fabulously fabulous to have you back. Where's my fucking monkey?

    I can’t hear you.

    HEFF: The more things change, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME !!

    This is a bilingual nation.

    Repeat after me, en français…

    Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

    ROSES: *takes a swig from another bottle of Carib beer*
    I like the new carpet, but I'm still voting to re-decorate the Plaid Room.
    How's it hanging Mistress?
    Oh hai everyone!

    Despite having missed your presence here on Infomaniac, I can still send you to the moat for the rest of the day if you touch the Plaid Room.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Roses4:24 AM, September 14, 2010

    I missed you too. Two months without Filthy Friday...it's appalling how used to filthy auld poofs I've become.

    I love 'em so.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ms Scarlet5:07 AM, September 14, 2010

    I have just finished parking the Infomanic Mobile in the underground carpark.
    Unfortunately, due to a reversal causing misfortune, the plaid room may need to be rebuilt.
    Apologies.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress5:24 AM, September 14, 2010

    ROSES: I missed you too. Two months without Filthy Friday...it's appalling how used to filthy auld poofs I've become.
    I love 'em so.

    You used to be such a nice girl, Miss Roses.

    SCARLET: I have just finished parking the Infomanic Mobile in the underground carpark.
    Unfortunately, due to a reversal causing misfortune, the plaid room may need to be rebuilt.
    Apologies.

    Do you realize how much Canadian Tire Money it will take to fix that?!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ms Scarlet5:30 AM, September 14, 2010

    Travelling Canadians have been known to pass off Canadian Tire ‘Money’ as Canada’s legal tender when bartering internationally – a practice rumoured to have succeeded more than once!

    Brits have tried this with Luncheon Vouchers, without any success at all.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  35. Michael Guy5:39 AM, September 14, 2010

    We're expecting full disclosure regarding world domination tour details. I missed your show in Beaver Falls by the way...

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress5:48 AM, September 14, 2010

    SCARLET: "Travelling Canadians have been known to pass off Canadian Tire ‘Money’ as Canada’s legal tender when bartering internationally – a practice rumoured to have succeeded more than once!”

    Brits have tried this with Luncheon Vouchers, without any success at all.

    I would gladly accept HobNobs as currency.

    MICHAEL GUY: We're expecting full disclosure regarding world domination tour details. I missed your show in Beaver Falls by the way...

    But first I’ll be expecting full disclosure from all of YOU bitches.

    Stay tuned for my next post.

    ReplyDelete
  37. hayward7:38 AM, September 14, 2010

    Hey there Mistress! The plants have been watered and the bushes are pruned. Glad you're back.

    ReplyDelete
  38. The Mistress9:34 AM, September 14, 2010

    HAYWARD: Hey there Mistress! The plants have been watered and the bushes are pruned. Glad you're back.

    There’s nothing so annoying as an unruly bush.

    Just ask our Miss Scarlet.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Mitzi 5:48 PM, September 15, 2010

    Phew ! warm tuna.

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Mistress6:28 PM, September 15, 2010

    MITZI: Phew! warm tuna.

    Some like it hot.

    ReplyDelete
  41. UBERMOUTH12:24 AM, September 16, 2010

    That's f***ing obscene!

    Sh's wearing mismatched socks!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Damien2:34 AM, September 16, 2010

    Oh my Mistress !!!!

    Your slave apologises for his commentary absence - he has had a rather big month.

    Your slave has missed you and even in his absence has never stopped adoring you Dearest.

    ***places three single chaste kisses on each of Mistress's feet to make up for lost time as is proper***

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)