Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Cum Clean Day
It seems that some of you are confused about which Infomaniac bitches are men and which are women.
And we’re not dumb but we can’t understand
Why some of you talk like a woman
But walk like a man.
Which of you fellas likes to dress up in laydeez clothing?
Who’s gay? Who’s straight? Who’s bi? Who’s keeping their options open?
Yesterday our very own truck stop trollop Ayem8y asked …
Wouldn’t it be nice to have an “INFOMANIAC Cum Clean Day”
Where all the board members announce who they are and what they are, and of course just to cum.
What a fabulous idea, Ayem8y! Especially since you assumed our lovely lady KAZ is a man!
So over to you now, bitches.
Cum clean.
This is your chance to state your gender and, if you wish, your sexual preference.
Although remember …
Infomaniac is NOT a dating service.
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"But I'm a lady! I do lady things!"
ReplyDeleteTHOMBEAU: "But I'm a lady! I do lady things!"
ReplyDeleteWell thank gawd THAT’S settled!
NEXT!
Hmmm… this is going to be easier than I thought!
“Hi everyone I’m ayem8y and I AM a homosexual and a sex addict”.
ReplyDeleteHELLO ayem8y
“I’m a male and I like to do manly things with my hands,”
Mmm
“I sometimes refer to my man friends as she and sometimes my lady friends as he.”
Um hum
“I occasionally get paid to dress in women’s clothes and bark like a poodle.”
Ooh
“Sometimes my john’s like for me to smoke while I do them in the butt.”
Ahh
“And sometimes they like to do me while I do their wives while I smoke...”
Eew
AYEM8Y: Professionals WILL be charged for advertising their services on this blog.
ReplyDeletefor the record,
ReplyDeleteI'm female.
I know, I know, I'm named Boxer and I actually do box (see new post) BUT,
I'm not a dude.
Thank you for letting me set the record straight.
(and I'm that too.)
Gender: ?
ReplyDeleteSex: Please.
Oh Hai Boxer!
BOXER: for the record,
ReplyDeleteI'm female.
I know, I know, I'm named Boxer and I actually do box (see new post) BUT,
I'm not a dude.
Thank you for letting me set the record straight.
(and I'm that too.)
Female?
Or so you SAY!
XL: Gender: ?
Sex: Please.
You talk like a man but you dress like a dyke.
As for the sex, we’re not giving it away, you know.
Male. Gay. Open to jumping the fence in the right situation.
ReplyDeleteHai XL! You believe me, don't you?
ReplyDelete@ Boxer: No.
ReplyDeleteMICHAEL RIVERS: Male. Gay. Open to jumping the fence in the right situation.
ReplyDeleteSurely you’re not considering batting for the other team, are you?
Beware … it’s haunted!
BOXER & XL: Carry on.
Would the pair of you like to swap identities for a day?
"Would the pair of you like to swap identities for a day?"
ReplyDeleteYes.
This is all Boxer needs to know:
Likes: Long walks on the beach. Kittens. Monster trucks.
Dislikes: Phonies. Democrats. Republicans.
I'm a maaaaan
ReplyDeleteyes I am
and I can't help but love her so
Allow me to publically state mons prédilection génétique pour des femmes, perhaps the worst kept secret on the planet, in two glorious words,
Monica
*sigh
Bellucci
schawing batter-batter
XL - you are a good kitty.
ReplyDeleteXL: "Would the pair of you like to swap identities for a day?"
ReplyDeleteYes.
This is all Boxer needs to know:
Likes: Long walks on the beach. Kittens. Monster trucks.
Dislikes: Phonies. Democrats. Republicans.
You have to swap clothes too.
DONN: I'm a maaaaan
yes I am
and I can't help but love her so
Allow me to publically state mons prédilection génétique pour des femmes, perhaps the worst kept secret on the planet, in two glorious words,
Monica
*sigh
Bellucci
schawing batter-batter
You and Monica look so good together.
Whatever happened to that restraining order?
BOXER: XL - you are a good kitty.
I assign you litter box duties.
If anyone has any questions about 'Petra I'll try to answer them or at least send out positive vibes.
ReplyDeleteI am what I am...
ReplyDelete"When I am good...I am very, very good!
But when I am bad...honey, I am better!"
— Mae West
Sex: Male
Sexual Preference: As frequently as possible.
Gay
ReplyDeleteJewish
Taken
Open to "honking" a nice boy with the hubby.... it's probably not what you think.
Oh............ And Mr Nude Infomaniac 2009 - with the butt pic to prove it :)
And if you feel the urge to crit my butt - considering the rest of me it's GOR-geous :)
With a name 'Roses', it's not any surprise I'm female and straight.
ReplyDeleteDo I get the Most Boring Comment Award for today?
Oh hai Boxer and Xl!
I offer no surprises...except that MJ shocks me on a daily basis...but, that's probably not a surprise either.
ReplyDeleteMale!
ReplyDeleteEven came here UNDRESSED!
(can't you see?)
And women folk are my dream, though I've been starved for so long, I've had to go back to my first wife.
(also pictured)
Meet Mr. Hand.
But, wait....if we do that on occasion, doesn't that make EVERYONE gay?
I mean...just what sex IS THAT in your hand?
Female. Straight. Married. Boring.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: If anyone has any questions about 'Petra I'll try to answer them or at least send out positive vibes.
ReplyDeleteHow many words are there for fruity Danish puff pastry?
EROS: I am what I am...
"When I am good...I am very, very good!
But when I am bad...honey, I am better!"
— Mae West
Sex: Male
Sexual Preference: As frequently as possible.
You’re Popeye?
Olive Oyl is just your beard then?
DAMIEN: Gay
Jewish
Taken
Open to "honking" a nice boy with the hubby.... it's probably not what you think.
Oh............ And Mr Nude Infomaniac 2009 - with the butt pic to prove it :)
And if you feel the urge to crit my butt - considering the rest of me it's GOR-geous :)
I come not to crit your butt but to pinch it.
Why are all the nice Jewish boys taken?
ROSES: With a name 'Roses', it's not any surprise I'm female and straight.
Do I get the Most Boring Comment Award for today?
Before we go giving out awards for boring comments, let’s wait to hear from Beast.
JILL: I offer no surprises...except that MJ shocks me on a daily basis...but, that's probably not a surprise either.
You have slyly bypassed the question at hand.
However, we can see that the “post-op” Jill is very ladylike indeed.
HEAD RAT: Welcome to Infomaniac!
Male!
Even came here UNDRESSED!
(can't you see?)
And women folk are my dream, though I've been starved for so long, I've had to go back to my first wife.
(also pictured)
Meet Mr. Hand.
But, wait....if we do that on occasion, doesn't that make EVERYONE gay?
I mean...just what sex IS THAT in your hand?
Perhaps you would like a calming piece of cheddar.
PEEVISH: Female. Straight. Married. Boring.
Zzzzzzzzzz
What?
Ha! Tortillas and booze are the key to my ta-tas...not Amex!
ReplyDeleteDespite what some might say, I'm a dude.
ReplyDeleteJust like Lady gaga
JILL: Ha! Tortillas and booze are the key to my ta-tas...not Amex!
ReplyDeleteWhatever you say, sir.
The Amex slogan will serve your tatas well…
Remember not to leave home without them.
MAXI CANE: Despite what some might say, I'm a dude.
Just like Lady gaga
Oh that reminds me… I’m glad you stopped by.
In an earlier post, your Jelly Monster girlfriend said, “In Maxi's old apartment there was mirrors on the closet doors beside the bed.”
So we want to know if she caught you coming out of the closet?
I now know (thanks to Ayem8y) that my avatar is a gay icon.
ReplyDeleteSo stick that in your stripey tights MJ.
P.S. Apart from my affection for you - I am (and always have been) exclusively hetero.
The jig is up...just call me Jack
ReplyDeleteBlanche is dead MJ SHE'S DEAD!! NOOOOoo
ReplyDeleteSex: Male (currently. We'll see what sex the next host is when we get there.)
ReplyDeleteSexual identity: Flaming.
Sexual preference: Tim. Um... I mean, SP.
I'm no good at being gay. I don't know any show songs, don't have a gaggle of faghaggy femfriends, and never mix up my gendered pronouns.
ReplyDeleteI just suck other men's cocks. Speaking of which...excuse me....
Girl. Straight, I suppose. But willing to pretend to be Remus Lupin if anyone would like to play Severus.
ReplyDeleteKAZ: I now know (thanks to Ayem8y) that my avatar is a gay icon.
ReplyDeleteSo stick that in your stripey tights MJ.
P.S. Apart from my affection for you - I am (and always have been) exclusively hetero.
Kiss me to prove it.
p.s. Read Mitzi’s comment about Blanche Hunt!
JILL: The jig is up...just call me Jack
No. Mistress MJ detests that name.
Choose another.
And make it snappy. We don’t have all day, you know.
MITZI: Blanche is dead MJ SHE'S DEAD!! NOOOOoo
NOOOOOoooo!
You DO realize I’m finding this out first from YOU so thank you for alerting me to this sad news.
One of the reasons I watch Corrie is for the Blanchisms!
Here’s one that seems apropos…
“At our age we could drop dead any minute. You have to suck every bit of enjoyment out of the time you have left.”
Well I hope she followed her own advice.
I once read a behind-the-scenes interview with the cast of Coronation Street and everyone agreed that Maggie Jones was the funniest person on the set.
The Street won’t be the same without her, will it?
IVD: Sex: Male (currently. We'll see what sex the next host is when we get there.)
Sexual identity: Flaming.
Sexual preference: Tim. Um... I mean, SP.
You forgot to mention your “front bottom”.
KAPI: I'm no good at being gay. I don't know any show songs, don't have a gaggle of faghaggy femfriends, and never mix up my gendered pronouns.
I just suck other men's cocks. Speaking of which...excuse me....
Consider Mistress MJ your online fag hag.
Oh, and don’t speak with your mouth full.
Your words are rather garbled.
LEAH: Girl. Straight, I suppose. But willing to pretend to be Remus Lupin if anyone would like to play Severus.
*ticks off “confused” box*
I'm a chick. I'm married and straight...although if Angelina Jolie asked me to, I would.
ReplyDeleteI pick my nose in public. I often am seen running around town in my Pajamas. I like to eat nachos while I'm watching "America's Next Top Model." I have inhaled.
Oh...when you said "cum clean" I thought that meant we were airing all of our dirty laundry.
BTW, about sex. I'm too tired.
RANDOM: I'm a chick. I'm married and straight...although if Angelina Jolie asked me to, I would.
ReplyDeleteI pick my nose in public. I often am seen running around town in my Pajamas. I like to eat nachos while I'm watching "America's Next Top Model." I have inhaled.
Oh...when you said "cum clean" I thought that meant we were airing all of our dirty laundry.
BTW, about sex. I'm too tired.
Running around town in your PJ’s?
Yes, we’ve seen you.
You may want to cover up a little more in public.
I am a man.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: I am a man.
ReplyDelete*cues Spencer Davis Group*
"I prefer to keep some mystery."
ReplyDelete*he says, doing his best Bette Davis voice*
Oh hell, I just spilled the beans!
FELIX: "I prefer to keep some mystery."
ReplyDelete*he says, doing his best Bette Davis voice*
Oh hell, I just spilled the beans!
Mystery?
You’d have made a lousy Greta Garbo, darling.
But Mistress MJ likes you no matter which way you butter your buns.
Oh too many to mention! Probably the same amount as the one for snow in Greenlandic?
ReplyDeleteAnything else m'dear?
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Oh too many to mention! Probably the same amount as the one for snow in Greenlandic?
ReplyDeleteAnything else m'dear?
Yes, when are you going to send The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to Donn?
a piece, yes!
ReplyDeleteCheese, not so much.
saving my coins for a ride to FLORIDA!
YEAH!
I heard them Southern Belles will cure me of the pickle polishing, weasel waxing, sausage shining, C
chicken choking, phist phucking, salami shaking, pocket pool, wait....
Did you say "CHEESE" I changed my mind! Some Gouda, please. And a nice pinot would do just fine, too.
When he issues a statement saying he will not wear them with Crocs or any other hideous footwear
ReplyDeleteIncluding but not limited to flipflops and Uggs
ReplyDeleteHEAD RAT: a piece, yes!
ReplyDeleteCheese, not so much.
saving my coins for a ride to FLORIDA!
YEAH!
I heard them Southern Belles will cure me of the pickle polishing, weasel waxing, sausage shining, C
chicken choking, phist phucking, salami shaking, pocket pool, wait....
Did you say "CHEESE" I changed my mind! Some Gouda, please. And a nice pinot would do just fine, too.
I’ll just send you to the Cheese Room, shall I?
CYBERPOOF: When he issues a statement saying he will not wear them with Crocs or any other hideous footwear
Including but not limited to flipflops and Uggs
Good plan!
"I'm a good girl, I am!"
ReplyDeleteJASON: "I'm a good girl, I am!"
ReplyDeleteSing along…
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me today
Cum Clean Cock Washer is a under the counter item available only from the legendary Archie's of Seattle. They don't where they've been, so prices are negotiable.
ReplyDeleteMy parentage includes hermaphrodites, donkeys, and ferrets. This may explain why I'm confused, a bit slow on the uptake, and speedy when it comes to getting up female trouser legs.
Johnson or Woody. That's all I've gir at the moment.
ReplyDeleteoh my....(again)
ReplyDeleteGARFY: Cum Clean Cock Washer is a under the counter item available only from the legendary Archie's of Seattle. They don't where they've been, so prices are negotiable.
ReplyDeleteMy parentage includes hermaphrodites, donkeys, and ferrets. This may explain why I'm confused, a bit slow on the uptake, and speedy when it comes to getting up female trouser legs.
It’s no wonder you have to beat the ladies off with a stick.
JILL: Johnson or Woody. That's all I've gir at the moment.
Let’s just stick with “Miss Jill” and be done with it.
Honestly.
MANUEL: oh my....(again)
Did you just reach for your inhaler?
I'm late to the party, but for the record, I'm male, I'm "that way," and I would rather die than eat pussy. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI read it here first about Blanche. I thought you meant the character - but she's dead in real life.
ReplyDeleteOnly the boring ones are left.
TJB: I'm late to the party, but for the record, I'm male, I'm "that way," and I would rather die than eat pussy. Seriously
ReplyDeleteYou’re not a VAGetarian?
KAZ: I read it here first about Blanche. I thought you meant the character - but she's dead in real life.
Only the boring ones are left.
It’s surprising how glum I am about the passing of someone I didn’t even know but she was a personal fave of Mistress MJ’s.
No one could crack out the acid-tongue one-liners like our Blanche.
[looks at wristwatch]
ReplyDeleteI keep hoping that The Mistress and The Houseboys weigh in on this one!
XL: [looks at wristwatch]
ReplyDeleteI keep hoping that The Mistress and The Houseboys weigh in on this one!
Mistress MJ’s gender has been described by others as follows…
Female with sense of humour of a 10-year-old boy.
Gay man trapped in a woman’s body.
Take your pick.
The Houseboys are mostly gay but she occasionally accepts straight men into the fold if they are willing to be accommodating and fit in with the gays.
Interested? Fill out an application.
dunno whether to answer here or there...
ReplyDeleteKept looking for the sugar bowl ...
you know...to pour on my cheese...
you know...
for...
(watch for it)
sweet cheeses!
d=))
Oh that reminds me… I’m glad you stopped by.
ReplyDeleteIn an earlier post, your Jelly Monster girlfriend said, “In Maxi's old apartment there was mirrors on the closet doors beside the bed.”
So we want to know if she caught you coming out of the closet?
Yup, among other things.
HEAD RAT: dunno whether to answer here or there...
ReplyDeleteKept looking for the sugar bowl ...
you know...to pour on my cheese...
you know...
for...
(watch for it)
sweet cheeses!
d=))
Sweet cheeses…har.
MAXI: Oh that reminds me… I’m glad you stopped by.
In an earlier post, your Jelly Monster girlfriend said, “In Maxi's old apartment there was mirrors on the closet doors beside the bed.”
So we want to know if she caught you coming out of the closet?
Yup, among other things.
Did she steal your avatar?
He seems to be missing.
Bi. Cherishing massive crushes on both Eva Mendez and Shane Diesel. Biker-friendly. Stood outside John Cleeses' tour bus in the cold and giggled helplessly; had to be pulled away by exasperated daughter. Wants to have a personal encounter with Kat Von D in a public restroom. Has been accused of being a Thunderbird swilling, Reeses peanut butter cup eating homophobe and a British piece of shit.
ReplyDeleteNATIONS: Bi. Cherishing massive crushes on both Eva Mendez and Shane Diesel. Biker-friendly. Stood outside John Cleeses' tour bus in the cold and giggled helplessly; had to be pulled away by exasperated daughter. Wants to have a personal encounter with Kat Von D in a public restroom. Has been accused of being a Thunderbird swilling, Reeses peanut butter cup eating homophobe and a British piece of shit.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention a swill monger!
And we’ve noted that Anonymous called you a homophobe but neglected to read your profile where it states you’re bi.
Loved your response… “READ THE PROFILE MORON”
You’re the best, babe.