A Crocs Menorah …
(click to enlarge if the sight of a thousand Crocs doesn't nauseate you)
1,000 pairs of Crocs were collected to form the world’s first Crocs Menorah which was lit for Chanukah /Hanukkah.
*waits for one of Infomaniac's token Jews to determine correct spelling of this holiday*
Unfortunately, the Crocs themselves were not lit aflame and burned in a Crocs bonfire.
As you know, Mistress MJ detests Crocs and is holding the entire Jewish population responsible for this abomination.
This shiksa must now lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress.
In this case, I'm not suree I want to be first.
ReplyDeletebwahaha. who am I kidding, Crocs or not,
ReplyDeleteFIRST!!!!!
The worst part of this is that they're collecting the Crocs themselves for charitable donations! How is it charitable to make people wear Crocs?
ReplyDeleteIn this case I simply cannot take responsibility for the actions of my people.
And p.s. you've covered both accepted spellings for Chanukah, nice work!
BOXER: In this case, I'm not suree I want to be first.
ReplyDeletebwahaha. who am I kidding, Crocs or not,
FIRST!!!!!
You’ll do anything for firsties.
LEAH: The worst part of this is that they're collecting the Crocs themselves for charitable donations! How is it charitable to make people wear Crocs?
In this case I simply cannot take responsibility for the actions of my people.
And p.s. you've covered both accepted spellings for Chanukah, nice work!
If you won’t take responsibility, then who will?
What does your Rabbi have to say about this?
Or could we go over the Rabbi’s head?
Is there a Pope equivalent in Judaism?
And if so, does he wear Prada?
Well, it sure is colorful!! And creative.
ReplyDeleteMICHAEL RIVERS: Well, it sure is colorful!! And creative.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean you condone Crocs?
CyberPete has a crush on you, by the way.
As if Jewish kids don't have a rough time as it is during Xmas, now they have to deal with this monstrosity? Did they run out of dreidels?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the less fortunate would rather have money to buy more fortunate footwear.
Dear Misstress
ReplyDeleteThe houseboys have just had to arouse Princess from a fit of the vapours...
How could you?
Why would you?
Pricess shall take a powder with her daquiri, (Wobbling toward the day bed in shock!) as she now needs a good lie down to recompose herself
My God, haven't the jews suffered enough?????
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful :)
ReplyDeletelooks like 9 crocks of shit to me.
ReplyDeleteI have completed my Christmas gift shopping for The Mistress!
ReplyDeleteTechnical support provided by Ponita.
That is vile!
ReplyDeleteI did indeed have a crush on Michael (and his lovely restaurant reviewing) until it became uncertain if he condones such blasphemy.
I call SECOND!
ReplyDeleteThis nearly put me off celebrating the Winter Solstice.
ReplyDeleteI'll swig some Angostura Bitters and Soda and will carry on regardless.
Crocs are an abomination whatever your spiritual beliefs.
Hope you have the best Christmas ever!
ReplyDeleteCrocs contribute to Global Warming!
ReplyDelete...I'm not sure how, but I thought I'd start the day with an emotive statement. They probably do though, don't they?
Sx
"Crocs For Christmas Box" is a registered charity, they send unwanted Crocs to children and adults in remote vilages in Africa.
ReplyDeleteThere!!! I rest my case - flying crocs all over the world is adding to Global Warming!
ReplyDeleteSx
I do not and have never owned a pair of crocs!
ReplyDeletei'm going to the movies on dec. 25 and damn happy about it! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteEROS: As if Jewish kids don't have a rough time as it is during Xmas, now they have to deal with this monstrosity? Did they run out of dreidels?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the less fortunate would rather have money to buy more fortunate footwear.
Quite right.
No one should have to wear Crocs or be forced to shop at Payless.
PRINCESS: Dear Misstress
The houseboys have just had to arouse Princess from a fit of the vapours...
How could you?
Why would you?
Pricess shall take a powder with her daquiri, (Wobbling toward the day bed in shock!) as she now needs a good lie down to recompose herself
Taking a powder with your daiquiri?
Now you know what it’s like to be Mistress MJ.
JASON: My God, haven't the jews suffered enough?????
You bet your tuchis they have!
DONN: It's beautiful :)
If you weren’t so loveable I’d smack you silly.
NORMADESMOND: looks like 9 crocks of shit to me.
Feh!
XL: I have completed my Christmas gift shopping for The Mistress!
Technical support provided by Ponita.
And how would YOU like it if the kangaroo went after YOUR tackle?
And why is my Official IT Consultant consulting others for technical support?
CYBERPOOF: That is vile!
I did indeed have a crush on Michael (and his lovely restaurant reviewing) until it became uncertain if he condones such blasphemy.
I call SECOND!
Yet you still have a crush on Donn regardless of the fact that he occasionally wears Crocs?
And why are you calling second when you most obviously are not.
ROSES: This nearly put me off celebrating the Winter Solstice.
I'll swig some Angostura Bitters and Soda and will carry on regardless.
Crocs are an abomination whatever your spiritual beliefs.
What’s next?
Will the image of Crocs show up on a piece of toast and be auctioned off on eBay?
XL: Hope you have the best Christmas ever!
And to YOU my pillow-fluffing friend!
SCARLET: Crocs contribute to Global Warming!
...I'm not sure how, but I thought I'd start the day with an emotive statement. They probably do though, don't they?
Was this issue raised at the Copenhagen Climate Summit?
MITZI: "Crocs For Christmas Box" is a registered charity, they send unwanted Crocs to children and adults in remote vilages in Africa.
Coming soon to the Oprah Winfrey Show.
SCARLET: There!!! I rest my case - flying crocs all over the world is adding to Global Warming!
It’s An Inconvenient Truth.
JOANNA CAKE: I do not and have never owned a pair of crocs!
Then you are most welcome here at Infomaniac.
As long as you don’t have Uggs either.
SAVANNAH: i'm going to the movies on dec. 25 and damn happy about it!
Mistress MJ has spent a Christmas or five at the movies too!
What are you seeing?
now ok. this is a menorah? and...and these are USED CROCS?? peoples FEET have been in them?
ReplyDeleteand, ok. these used crocs are being collected for CHARITY and being sent to AFRICA????
this perches directly on the fence between 'tasteless' and 'satanic'. i am freaking speechless. the only possible explaination is that they hired John Waters to design their holiday campaign.
...which now that i come to think about it, would be so cool. huh...
ok I just read the article and now I am deeply confused. somehow the concepts "Used Crocs" and "Mitzvah" aren't coming together for me and I'm trying, I really am.
ReplyDeleteMJ, I vote this the most "Infomaniac-worthy" event of 2009. *bows deeply before MJ's maribou slipper-clad tootsies* damn, girl.
just.....dayum.
Those poor children - I will phone the NSPCC.
ReplyDeleteI am, quite simply, aghast.
ReplyDeleteAnd confused. What's a Menorah (I can't be arsed to google it)?
NATIONS: now ok. this is a menorah? and...and these are USED CROCS?? peoples FEET have been in them?
ReplyDeleteand, ok. these used crocs are being collected for CHARITY and being sent to AFRICA????
this perches directly on the fence between 'tasteless' and 'satanic'. i am freaking speechless. the only possible explaination is that they hired John Waters to design their holiday campaign.
...which now that i come to think about it, would be so cool. huh...
Mistress MJ is gagging for anything by John Waters at the moment as his live on-stage Christmas show was cancelled up here.
A distraught Mistress MJ shall console herself by watching Cha Cha Heels for Christmas!
NATIONS: ok I just read the article and now I am deeply confused. somehow the concepts "Used Crocs" and "Mitzvah" aren't coming together for me and I'm trying, I really am.
MJ, I vote this the most "Infomaniac-worthy" event of 2009. *bows deeply before MJ's maribou slipper-clad tootsies* damn, girl.
just.....dayum.
Wasn’t the Infomaniac Christmas Hair Party the most Infomaniac-worthy event of 2009?
Everyone was ogling your hairy cooter as I recall.
KAZ: Those poor children - I will phone the NSPCC.
I’m going to have to Google NSPCC, KAZ.
There will be an extra charge for that.
IVD: I am, quite simply, aghast.
And confused. What's a Menorah (I can't be arsed to google it)?
A Menorah is “a special seven branched candelabrum used by Hebrews to celebrate CHANUKAH, the MENORAH is linked to a story wherein the original lamp stayed miraculously lit in a Jerusalem temple much longer than it was capable because the oil within was only enough for one day.”
There will be a service charge for Mistress MJ Googling it FOR you.
Crocs make me Ugg.
ReplyDeleteChanukah? I thought it was Diwali.
GARFY: Crocs make me Ugg.
ReplyDeleteChanukah? I thought it was Diwali.
Diwali doesn’t hold a candle to Chanukah.
*slaps thighs*
Nothing says "why is this night different from all other nights" like a bin full of sweaty Crocs, eh?!
ReplyDeleteClearly no one else called second, so I did.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the Donn issue, I've decided to move on to (another poor soul, bless him) The fabulous Mr. Michael Rivers
Loathe crocs!
ReplyDeleteCrocs Menorah - sounds like a trashy detective ... Crocs Menorah pulled out his trusted Luger and blamsplatterbüörgh - the best man to guard the holy scrotum on it's vile journey to Canada! Extra for this film Robert Mitchum was digitally exhumed and resurrected, his performance is a MUST See. CROCS MENORAH - another slam-bam-number-one by Zombie Prouctions!
ReplyDeleteMICHAEL GUY: Nothing says "why is this night different from all other nights" like a bin full of sweaty Crocs, eh?!
ReplyDeleteI’d rather have a bin full of sweaty houseboys, wouldn’t you?
Now THAT would be a religious experience.
CYBERPOOF: Clearly no one else called second, so I did.
Regarding the Donn issue, I've decided to move on to (another poor soul, bless him) The fabulous Mr. Michael Rivers
I think Michael is taken but then when has THAT ever stopped you?
JILL: Loathe crocs!
Love Louboutin!
MAGO: Crocs Menorah - sounds like a trashy detective ... Crocs Menorah pulled out his trusted Luger and blamsplatterbüörgh - the best man to guard the holy scrotum on it's vile journey to Canada! Extra for this film Robert Mitchum was digitally exhumed and resurrected, his performance is a MUST See. CROCS MENORAH - another slam-bam-number-one by Zombie Prouctions!
You are intentionally fanning my lust for the late, great Robert Mitchum.
I am adding ‘blamsplatterbüörgh’ to my vocabulary.
Lust is good. And if Bob helps ...
ReplyDeleteSeriously he delivered some of the most impressive scenes on film in the 20th century.
crocs are an abomination in the eyes of the lord...and unbeknownst to the various Jews, to Hey-Zeus himself.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Lust is good. And if Bob helps ...
ReplyDeleteSeriously he delivered some of the most impressive scenes on film in the 20th century.
‘Night of the Hunter’ and ‘Cape Fear’ were particularly memorable but there were many more.
DAVID: crocs are an abomination in the eyes of the lord...and unbeknownst to the various Jews, to Hey-Zeus himself.
Amen, brother David.
Si, senorita!
ReplyDeleteJILL: Si, senorita!
ReplyDeleteHave you been hitting the tequila again?
Firstly - too many spellings of Chanukah / Hannukah / Hanukkah to argue for it.
ReplyDeleteSecondly - Michael Rivers is mine - back of Cyberpete..... *insert menacing growl here*
So gross. Off to the recycling plant for that lot.
ReplyDeleteDAMIEN: Firstly - too many spellings of Chanukah / Hannukah / Hanukkah to argue for it.
ReplyDeleteSecondly - Michael Rivers is mine - back of Cyberpete..... *insert menacing growl here*
Time for a bitchfight!
ISTVANSKI: So gross. Off to the recycling plant for that lot.
The planet thanks you.
I don't mean to kvetch but OY GEVALT! What a farkatk idea! What shlemil thought of this kakameyme display? I'd rather dress in shmates!
ReplyDeleteSome chutzpah!
"scurries off to Jerry's Deli in disgust..."
LA DIVA CUCINA: I'll drink to that.
ReplyDeleteL'Chaim!
Crocs are to Earth Shoes as Orcs are to Elves in Middle Earth. Unfortunately, throwing jewelery into a volcano won't destroy their creator.
ReplyDeleteWhen are we going to stop dumping our crap on the nations in Africa?
Fair Trade
Dumping
They sell your clothes for $100 a bale. Even legitimate charities often have to funnel their "gifts" through corrupt government officials that will then charge for them.
"Hannukkah" is often mis-pronaunced, the "H" being substituted for a hebrew character that does not sound like someone hit the old guy in the diaphragm, producing an expellation of air ("huh!). It sounds like someone hocking up a nice load of phlegm from the back of the throat, at least according to Billy Crystal. When done imperfectly, it kind of sounds like K-h. Since the evil Noah Webster or someone like him has a thing about words starting with "K", we get Chanukah as a fix. Since the "CH" is not pronounced as in "Charlie", this is so much better.