Once you’ve made a wrong turn off the highway exit ramp, they’ll make sure you never find your way back …
(click to enlarge)
A word of warning.
No matter how backed up you are, don’t go in the ladies’ room! …
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
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Actually, on my first visit to my very first gay bar, my ill-advised trip to the loo provided me with a sight not terribly unlike the one shown here. Which probably explains why I drink. Heavily.
ReplyDeleteTJB: Actually, on my first visit to my very first gay bar, my ill-advised trip to the loo provided me with a sight not terribly unlike the one shown here. Which probably explains why I drink. Heavily.
ReplyDeleteSadly, my favourite dive gay bar has been renovated and gone upscale.
The ladies’ room only had standing room for three people maximum to stand in line waiting for the ONE stall.
Well you can imagine how many bitches with full bladders were waiting for that one stall.
So the trannies used to piss in the sink if the toilet was occupied!
Oh the memories.
And speaking of memories, when are you going to publish your memoir?
Speaking of pissing in the sink (and since you spotlighted Shelley Winters a few posts back), try this one on for size: an ex-friend of mine was program director at a radio station in upstate NY. Miss Shelley Winters was a guest on some talk radio show; she was very friendly and affable, but completely bat-sh*t crazy and a little disoriented. She used the ladies' room before leaving the station, and the employees discovered that the befuddled Miss Winters had left them a "gift" in the sink.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not publishing my memoirs, because I haven't done anything as colorful as that. Yet.
TJB: You can begin your memoir (you WILL write it) by telling us why the radio program director is your EX-friend!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course include the batshit Shelley Winters story!
We just need to get you a little tipsy to get more dirt for the memoir.
I'll skip the writing part and jump right to the Broadway musicalization of it. Hugh Jackman will star, of course, because the resemblance is uncanny; he's got a proven track record in musical theatre; and he really needs another opportunity to thank "his lovely wife Deborah" during his inevitable Tony acceptance speech.
ReplyDeleteTJB: Hugh Jackman?
ReplyDeleteIs Harvey Fierstein busy?
I’ll skip the Broadway musicalization and wait for the sock puppet revue.
Is Harvey Fierstein busy?
ReplyDeleteYes. With Hugh Jackman.
Don't bogart that TP roll, my friend.
ReplyDeletePass it over to me.
Thanks for the nightmares this is going to bring me!
ReplyDeleteTJB: Is Harvey Fierstein busy?
ReplyDeleteYes. With Hugh Jackman.
*affects Neil Patrick Harris voice*
This show
Could not be any gayer
If Liza was named mayor
And Elton John took flight
The curtain falls
I'm off to hit some big Tony balls
Goodnight
XL: Don't bogart that TP roll, my friend.
Pass it over to me.
Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
MICHAEL RIVERS: Thanks for the nightmares this is going to bring me!
In your dreams!
It's the full servicing station where the customers come first!
ReplyDeleteYou're going to need another roll to take off all that paint!
Oh thank you MJ for the shout out. My little Tranny Truck Stop needs all the advertising it can get. It’s a little off the beaten path, but once you find it we’ll make it worth the beatin’.
ReplyDeleteEROS: It's the full servicing station where the customers come first!
ReplyDeleteYou're going to need another roll to take off all that paint!
Oh so you’ve been there, have you?
AYEM8Y: Oh thank you MJ for the shout out. My little Tranny Truck Stop needs all the advertising it can get. It’s a little off the beaten path, but once you find it we’ll make it worth the beatin’.
*notes jaunty Santa cap*
So this is where you filmed ‘Truck Stop Trollop’!
And let’s take this golden opportunity to flog your book… “Mean Dirty Pirate’s Definitive Truck Stop Guide.”
Do you have anything else in the works?
Well I’ve been licking my way up and down the highways so often lately that I’ve thought about writing a compendium of the Mean Dirty Pirate’s Dirty Lick Spots. Welcome Centers, Roadside Attractions, Landmarks, Monuments, Rest Areas, Public Restrooms, Parks, and the generally cruisey places where queers go to have anonymous empty meaningless sex. You know, where straight men go to get away from their wives to be gay. I’ve decided to include a new star rating system and GPS navigation instructions.
ReplyDeleteAYEM8Y: May we be so bold as to suggest a title?
ReplyDelete“Lick Your Way Across the USA”
Is that Chi Chi Larues sistah?
ReplyDeleteI think s/he should start taking two bottles in the shower, one being industrial strength conditioner.
ReplyDeleteLook at the split endz!
And her roots need doing.
Well somebody already cracked the DIOR 'colors for Christmas' gift set, I see...
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Is that Chi Chi Larues sistah?
ReplyDeleteIt’s her dear old dad.
ROSES: I think s/he should start taking two bottles in the shower, one being industrial strength conditioner.
Look at the split endz!
And her roots need doing.
She needs a Bobbi!
MICHAEL GUY: Well somebody already cracked the DIOR 'colors for Christmas' gift set, I see...
All 250 colours in the collection!
After AYEM8Y's mistake the other day I shall be making that my local.
ReplyDeleteKAZ: After AYEM8Y's mistake the other day I shall be making that my local.
ReplyDeleteYou ability to drink men under the table is why Ayem8y mistook you for a man.
To make up for this oversight, Ayem8y wants you to have a front row seat at his Truck Stop Fall Fashion Preview.
Don't get strung out by the way She looks
ReplyDeleteDon't judge a book by it's coverrrr
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a loverrrrr
Is this place in Penisylavania?
Sorry KAZ confusing your gender was a huge fox paw!
ReplyDeleteForgive me?
I could rest on the fact that I often confuse my pronouns but that wouldn’t do, would it?
In my defense, I perceive the spelling of (KAZ) with a Z to be masculine and your avatar of Patsy (Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone) to be one that many homosexuals and drag queens favor and use frequently.
I shall take more time to familiarize myself with the vast membership that comprises, INFOMANIAC, their sexuality and their genders.
A huge undertaking.
Let me start,
Hello I’m AYEM8Y, I’m male and I’m gay.
DONN: Don't get strung out by the way She looks
ReplyDeleteDon't judge a book by it's coverrrr
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a loverrrrr
Is this place in Penisylavania?
Yes, at the corner of Cumming Street and Seaman Avenue.
AYEM8Y: Sorry KAZ confusing your gender was a huge fox paw!
Forgive me?
I could rest on the fact that I often confuse my pronouns but that wouldn’t do, would it?
In my defense, I perceive the spelling of (KAZ) with a Z to be masculine and your avatar of Patsy (Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone) to be one that many homosexuals and drag queens favor and use frequently.
I shall take more time to familiarize myself with the vast membership that comprises, INFOMANIAC, their sexuality and their genders.
A huge undertaking.
Let me start,
Hello I’m AYEM8Y, I’m male and I’m gay.
OMG!...You’re GAY?
“OMG!...You’re GAY?”
ReplyDelete*Let the hail of stone throwing begin*
AYEM8Y: “OMG!...You’re GAY?”
ReplyDelete*Let the hail of stone throwing begin*
Do you mind if we stuff dollar bills in your butt bra instead?
I am the victim of gender confusion all the time ... even worse on the Internet! [rim shot]
ReplyDeleteXL: I am the victim of gender confusion all the time ... even worse on the Internet! [rim shot]
ReplyDeleteHence the question on your sidebar…
“What is your gender?”
Well? You haven’t answered the question!
“What is your gender?”
ReplyDeleteWell? You haven’t answered the question!
Wouldn’t it be nice to have an “INFOMANIAC Cum Clean Day”
Where all the board members announce who they are and what they are, and of course just to cum.
AYEMY: “What is your gender?”
ReplyDeleteWell? You haven’t answered the question!
Wouldn’t it be nice to have an “INFOMANIAC Cum Clean Day”
Where all the board members announce who they are and what they are, and of course just to cum.
*scribbles note in margin*
Consider it done.
Cumming soon on Infomaniac.
“INFOMANIAC Cum Clean Day”
ReplyDeleteI hope it's not anti-climatic!
XL: “INFOMANIAC Cum Clean Day”
ReplyDeleteI hope it's not anti-climatic!
Not another word about it.
Look forward to more later this week.
Curious, very curious..
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Tragic on so many levels!!
ReplyDeleteI think I just had an accident.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK AYEM8Y - trannies get more respect round here than mere hetero women of a certain age.
ReplyDeleteClytemnestra - yeah
insert Knudsen comment here....
ReplyDeleteheh
The look on her face suggests she is passing a boulder, that's why she's gripping the bog roll and using it as a bite staff. When faced with a difficult one, it may help, if you faced the cistern and push down onto the lid until delivery.
ReplyDeleteThis is all very disturbing... very disturbing indeed. I mean who chooses white loo roll? Turquoise every time - blends nicely...
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Curious, very curious..
ReplyDeleteIsn’t it.
LA DIVA CUCINA: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! Tragic on so many levels!!
Then pick just one level and lower your stress.
RANDOM CHICK: I think I just had an accident.
Was it a slurry-related accident?
See previous post.
KAZ: It's OK AYEM8Y - trannies get more respect round here than mere hetero women of a certain age.
Clytemnestra - yeah
Is this our cue for a Rodney Dangerfield joke?
MANUEL: insert Knudsen comment here....
heh
He’s too busy with his gurlyboys to comment.
MITZI: The look on her face suggests she is passing a boulder, that's why she's gripping the bog roll and using it as a bite staff. When faced with a difficult one, it may help, if you faced the cistern and push down onto the lid until delivery.
We shall pass this information on to our readers.
Thank you for this beneficial public service announcement.
MUTLEY: This is all very disturbing... very disturbing indeed. I mean who chooses white loo roll? Turquoise every time - blends nicely...
If you insist.