It seems we’ve upset the applecart (well, one Welshman, anyway) by lumping all our UK readers under the heading “Brits”.
I object!
Here’s what our Welsh reader had to say …
All i am saying is that you used the word Brit without realing that it is insulting to those who are not English. It is only the English and the population of Northern Ireland who are truly British.
The United Kingdom has four seperate identities within it. Scotland is a seperate country from England. Wales has a seperate border from England, the ROI has a seperate border from Northern Ireland.
You continue to offend many people with your constant misuse of the word Brits.
END OF WELSHMAN'S STATEMENT.
RETURNING NOW TO MISTRESS MJ...
Let’s have a look at this Venn Diagram, shall we?
[via]
The British Isles = England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.
The United Kingdom = England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
Great Britain = England, Scotland and Wales.
When I’m referring to people who live in Great Britain and/or the United Kingdom, I refer to them as “Brits”. (Although if I’m including anyone from the Emerald Isle, I’ll usually add “and the Irish” to clarify; regardless of whether they’re from the Republic of Ireland or Northern Ireland).
I do so to simplify matters as I need a label for you lot.
Perhaps it is not technically correct but I need a single word to sum you all up.
Just what do you people want to be called, anyway?
How am I, an ignorant Canuck, supposed to make sense of it all?
Infomaniac now opens this forum up for discussion.
Wisely, Mistress MJ is staying out of this and will observe from a distance whilst nursing a glass of the finest Irish whiskey and having her feet massaged by a willing Franconian. At the close of the day, I shall study your responses and hope to have learned more about the mysterious peoples I call the Brits.
*bitch slaps all of you in advance and sits back*
Please see to it that you resolve this issue immediately.
1.
ReplyDeleteHA! I found that Venn diagram to reply to our anon Welsh friend. But ditched the idea.
2!
ReplyDeleteI am also an ignorant Canuck... so I await the Welsh person's answer.
Oh Hai XL!!
Being American I'm just going to ignore you all.
ReplyDeleteHai Ponita and XL!
Mistress, I was overcome by fumes from nail hardener when I wrote my first comment. This is what I should have said:
ReplyDeleteI saw Anon's lunatic ravings in Ugly Brits. I was going to reply by referencing a dictionary definition or that Venn diagram. But upon further reflection I decided not to reply at all because (1) I liked the good cop/bad cop going over P&T and you gave him, and, (2) I didn't want to start a food fight on The Mistress' blog. HA!
Oh Hai Ponita & Boxer!
It's 'Brit'.
ReplyDeleteThat's it.
Who cares what Taffy's think, anyway?
XL said: I didn't want to start a food fight on The Mistress' blog.
ReplyDelete*lobs bread rolls at everyone who's commented so far*
Oh wait. I said I was going to stay out of this.
*flounces off to the sidelines*
For Once I agree with Piggy , by the law of averages it had to happen eventually
ReplyDeleteThe anon whinger is welsh and a brit as I am English and a brit.
I am now off to solve the middle east crisis
I've had to teach all this stuff to foreign students. Before admitting most people in Britland don't understand it.
ReplyDeleteYes that's right, Britland.
So remind us which bit of America Alaska's in?
I only remember what I read in the National Lampoon;
ReplyDelete"The English are cold blooded queers with nasty complexions and terrible teeth who once conquered half the world but still haven't figured out central heating"
"Irish are pie-faced neckless, bandy-legged sots who almost never f*ck. Their women have their legs on upside down and no man in the country eats anything but potatos, and only when he's out of strong drink."
"Scots are sour, stingy, depressing beggars who parade around in schoolgirl's skirts with nothing on underneath and their fumbled attempt at speaking the English language has been a source of amusement for five centuries"
That should just aboot do it eh?
There was absollllutelyyyy no mention of the Welsh so make of that what you will.
Islanders, different tribes of islanders.
ReplyDeleteRecline and let me do my best to your delicate feet ...
I'm not seeing the Isle of Man on that diagram...Aren't they sort of British, too?
ReplyDeleteUntil they can figure out who's Brit and who isn't, we'll return to calling them Limeys.
I think we should do away with a word to describe us collectively. Like Prince we should have a symbol.
ReplyDeleteOR, as we're from over the pond, you could just call us pond-life?
Sx
Brit is it!
ReplyDeleteAnd Wayne Rooney was born in Liverpool so he's English - unfortunately.
Unfortunately we are all Brits, but the English are far superior and subsidise the rest of the UK with our taxes.
ReplyDeleteObviously those in the South East are even more superior.
ReplyDelete*Runs like hell*
Sx
Thankfully, it's so much easier in America.
ReplyDeleteWe're called "Americans". Not sure what those people south and north of us are called however.
Scarlet, over here we don't use the term 'pond life', we use 'pond scum'... but not for the likes of you. Beast and Frobisher, sure, but not you.
ReplyDelete*runs like hell*
BITCHES: If Mistress MJ may butt in for one moment…
ReplyDeleteIt looks like “Brits” is in the lead so far.
Closely followed by Miss Scarlet’s suggestion… “Pond Life”.
Are we to assume that the Welsh have surrendered?
"Are we to assume that the Welsh have surrendered?"
ReplyDeleteNo. Taking a sheep break!
CYMRU!
Ewww, gods. I too am forced to agree with Piggy (and the rest of you who said we're Brit's, but without the "Ewww, gods" bit): We're Brits!
ReplyDeleteYes, come to Scotland and meet all the English people living here, claiming off of the state, while their ignorant relative's proclaim to 'financially support' our oil rich country. Oil that saved the UK from declaring itself bankrupt in the 70's.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, the English are superior,
superciliously persnickety (yes, us Scots Brits can generalise, too.)
***Throws a steaming Haggis at jAck***
ReplyDeleteSince we are generalising , I suprised your sober enough to type
Well said jAck!
ReplyDeleteAs a Scotsman, it makes my blood fucking boil every time the thieving English start spouting shite about subsidising everyone else.
They always seem to conveniently forgot that they HAVE to because they've plundered every other region.
Oh yes, where does all the Scottish taxpayers money go to? Yes, to the government in England.
The English need their cunts kicked. Hard.
After the Germans, Welsh and Danes have had theirs kicked.
And that's if we've the energy left after making sure the Canucks get the biggest kicking of their lives.
ReplyDeleteOh, fuck it.
ReplyDeleteJust as there's always room for pudding despite being full after a big dinner.... Might as well stop by Welshland to give them another kicking for good measure.
I would've suggested giving the English another kicking, but it's a bit difficult to find many of them in public these days.
Wow, Piggy&Tazzy - is that called a "kicking spree"? What about a round of "Kicker" - you islanders may call it table football.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the nutty Cornish?
ReplyDeleteHow goddamn lacking in a personal life does someone have to be to take their sad issues of national identity to fucking INFOMANIAC, is what I want to know?? Lordy shit, Taffy, you're a Brit.
ReplyDeleteI'm a Yank.
MJ's a Cheezer.
The rest of the folks here are an ill assorted melange of Astroglide-smeared perverts, feces-coffin afficianados, piss-boys, muff divers, pickaninnies, coyote-fingered salad tossers, crackers, slappers, and Catholics with mommy issues.
Or didn't you come here to be offended?
*shakes head sadly*
*smacks piggy and tazzy with rolled up newspaper*
Someones gorbals are overheating
ReplyDelete***Pulls Piggies kilt over his head***
blimey a ginger sporran
Oy! Piggy! We don't need our hot little arses kicked!
ReplyDeleteGo back to doing that sheep instead your brother is waiting his turn.
Oh come on guys... we love each other really.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard the one about the Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman...?
Sx
OF COURSE we all love one another. Thats why we're all smeared with Astroglide. *looks around for a WetWipe*
ReplyDeleteAs The Man saied - "It's always time to lube!"
ReplyDeleteI'm Irish despite what Knudsen tells ya....
ReplyDelete*peeks in to find Piggy wiping his arse with the Red Dragon*
ReplyDelete*DECLARES THAT INFOMANIAC HAS THE RIGHT TO CONTINUE USING THE TERM “BRITS”*
*assures Manuel that there’ll always be an Ireland*
*slips on Astroglide-laden floor on the way out*
*grabs the newspaper from FN and keeps it as emergency lav paper*
ReplyDelete*completes the crossword first*
*presents bit used for wiping to Cyberthing*
:@)
Open the windows, let in crisp Canadian air!
ReplyDeleteI’m from the South!
ReplyDeleteFuck them all.
Too bad Mitzi hasn’t checked in to sort this shit out.
Hey, I'm not just a Brit, I'm an Angle. A Briton, an Englishman, a pom with a plummy voice.
ReplyDeleteAnd not just that, but I'm also a southerner, from the south of Engerland, which means I've got proper edukashun and money too. And a proper accent.
You know that voice that all the evil villains have when they're not german in all the spy films. That's my accent!
But not to worry. Some of my best friends have northern accents. Well, I say friends - I don't think they have a word for friend in their language. Probably no need for one.
They deep fry their mars bars, you know.
BRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
ReplyDeleteBRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
BRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
BRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
BRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
BRITS! BRITS! BRITS!
In Ukraine they deep fry pork fat bars. It's called the Ukrainian Snickers.
ReplyDeleteOkay cool. I have listened to both sides, but I am going to have to side with the Welsh guy. The term Brit is more commonly used to describe those residing in England. The Irish, Scottish, and Welsh nations do take offense at the term.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I know? Obviously a little bit more than you hon. I married a Celt. Hubby nearly had a fit when I asked him if he was cool being called a Brit. Not a good term to use if you visit Dublin, Cardiff, or Glasgow.
A nice blog, but sometimes a bit too silly in places.
Anonymous - you may have married a Celt, which indicates that YOU are not one.
ReplyDeleteMe? I'm Scottish. From the Highlands (Inverness) which means I *AM* a Celt.
It also means I'm much more qualified to voice an opinion on the matter than either yourself or your husband (who, I imagine, is from the Lowland regions).
Now I'll say straight away that that's not meant to offend you or your husband, it's just that I get really pissed off when people who are NOT the same as me profer and opinion that appears to override the one of someone who actually knows better.
It's a bit like straight people advocating stuff that they think is good for gay people - whilst the best intentions may be there, the problem is that it's not coming from the right place.
So. Once again... I'm Scottish first and foremost. A genuine, full bloodline heritage Highland boy.
But... Whether I like it or not, Scotland remains part of the Union of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Oirland.
The Union is of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Oirland. As such, while I may identify as being Scottish, I'm also British.
As someone British, that makes be a Brit, or a Briton.
I may not like it. Your hubby may not like it. But the fact remains that it is the case.
I despise the fact that it's the case - really. I share your hubby's disgust. But facts are facts. Much as we may not like the reality, it exists.
I also forget to agree with you - yes, this is a nice blog.
ReplyDeleteBut it's not as silly as commenting somewhere without at least identifying yourself.
You should feel honoured you got any kind of response. Even if it was only to tell you that you're wrong.
I'll also point out that our 'official' classification (for official government census purposes) is 'BritScot' or 'ScotBrit'.
ReplyDeleteSomething which recognises the fact that while there is a 'Britishness' about the whole thing, that there remains a desire to retain the regional identity.
Offence is something that's difficult to quantify. What may offend one won't offend another. It's more of a perception thing.
Before saying deciding that a whole region are 'offended' by such a small (and insignificant) word, perhaps you should consult more than one person.
As The Mistress' Personal IT Adviser, I recommend turning off anonymous commenting.
ReplyDeleteI agree with xl.
ReplyDeleteANONYMOUS: Okay cool. I have listened to both sides, but I am going to have to side with the Welsh guy. The term Brit is more commonly used to describe those residing in England. The Irish, Scottish, and Welsh nations do take offense at the term.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I know? Obviously a little bit more than you hon. I married a Celt. Hubby nearly had a fit when I asked him if he was cool being called a Brit. Not a good term to use if you visit Dublin, Cardiff, or Glasgow.
A nice blog, but sometimes a bit too silly in places.
See Piggy’s informative and definitive answer.
If you were a regular reader of this blog, you would know that when referring to only ONE of the groups that make up the UK (and Ireland), I do, in fact, refer to them as either English, Irish, Welsh or as you can see for yourself here…Scots...
rather than using the collective term “Brits” to indicate the UK group as a whole.
Or click here where you see I’ve distinguished the Irish from the Scots from the English, where necessary to do so.
I use the term “Brits” to simplify matters when referring to the groups that make up the UK. I do this so that I’m not writing a long-winded sentence that says…
“A recent poll states that you English and Northern Irish and Welsh and Scots (etc, etc.)”
Rather, it simply says, “A recent poll says that you Brits…”.
As my regular readers are fine with this term, that is all that matters to me.
I am writing for THEM and not for anonymous commenters.
One more thing…
Are you the Welshman’s bit-on-the-side?
But we're all still friends, right?
ReplyDeleteOur differences and opinions are what make us all gel. There's nothing better than a heated debate.
We still like 'anonymous'. It's not their fault that they're wrong.
I've got other thick friends too. Haven't I, Beast?
:@)
PIGGY: Anonymous - you may have married a Celt, which indicates that YOU are not one.
ReplyDeleteMe? I'm Scottish. From the Highlands (Inverness) which means I *AM* a Celt.
It also means I'm much more qualified to voice an opinion on the matter than either yourself or your husband (who, I imagine, is from the Lowland regions).
Now I'll say straight away that that's not meant to offend you or your husband, it's just that I get really pissed off when people who are NOT the same as me profer and opinion that appears to override the one of someone who actually knows better.
It's a bit like straight people advocating stuff that they think is good for gay people - whilst the best intentions may be there, the problem is that it's not coming from the right place.
So. Once again... I'm Scottish first and foremost. A genuine, full bloodline heritage Highland boy.
But... Whether I like it or not, Scotland remains part of the Union of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Oirland.
The Union is of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Oirland. As such, while I may identify as being Scottish, I'm also British.
As someone British, that makes be a Brit, or a Briton.
I may not like it. Your hubby may not like it. But the fact remains that it is the case.
I despise the fact that it's the case - really. I share your hubby's disgust. But facts are facts. Much as we may not like the reality, it exists.
I also forget to agree with you - yes, this is a nice blog.
But it's not as silly as commenting somewhere without at least identifying yourself.
You should feel honoured you got any kind of response. Even if it was only to tell you that you're wrong.
I'll also point out that our 'official' classification (for official government census purposes) is 'BritScot' or 'ScotBrit'.
Something which recognises the fact that while there is a 'Britishness' about the whole thing, that there remains a desire to retain the regional identity.
Offence is something that's difficult to quantify. What may offend one won't offend another. It's more of a perception thing.
Before saying deciding that a whole region are 'offended' by such a small (and insignificant) word, perhaps you should consult more than one person.
Well spoken, sir. Thank you for your erudite contribution.
You, as a regular, long-time reader are aware that if I’m doing a post strictly about the Scots, I’ll use the term “Scots” and not “Brits.” However, if I’m writing about the people of Great Britain or the UK collectively, I lump you all under the term “Brits” for the sake of brevity.
Off-topic: As for straight people advocating stuff that they think is good for gay people, I think that the gays (and their hags, of course) should form their own country and elect Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) as its queen.
XL & PIGGY: As The Mistress' Personal IT Adviser, I recommend turning off anonymous commenting.
ReplyDeleteBut then I’d miss all the Anonymous Rants and Raves!
PIGGY: But we're all still friends, right?
ReplyDeleteOur differences and opinions are what make us all gel. There's nothing better than a heated debate.
We still like 'anonymous'. It's not their fault that they're wrong.
I've got other thick friends too. Haven't I, Beast?
:@)
Beast is flummoxed by your question and is unable to answer at this time.
That's because he's too thick to respond - or too busy eating pork pies.
ReplyDeleteAs for fags and their hags... What do you mean our 'own country'? We live in a WORLD of our own already!
IDV as Queen? Gawd give me fucking strength.
And did you just call me 'Sir'?
ReplyDeleteWell done girl. You're learning.
:@)
And...
ReplyDeleteSo many fucking typo's from me in the last few comments! I'm blaming the bottole of 'Lindemans Winemakers Release "Merlot-Cabernet-Sauvignon-Shiraz" (Vintage 2009)' that I've just glugged for that.
Even though I wonder how '2009' can be a vintage already.
It was rather nice though. And at 14% it's done the trick.
It's 5:24pm over here by the way. That's shameful, isn't it?
And I feel obliged to pount out that it was on sale! Reduced from $7.99 to £2.99.
ReplyDeleteSo, even if it was shite, it'd still have been worth it.
$7.99 should have been £7.99.
ReplyDeleteFuck. I'm drunk.
Ooooh!
ReplyDeleteI've just done conversion from £ sterling to Canuck toy-money - it turns out £7.99 is $14.11 in toy money!
Was that expensive for5 a bottle of plonk?
Yes, yes, I know I only paid £2.99, but...
No, I don't know why the '5' was in there.
ReplyDeleteActually, I do. It was plonk. But you know it wasn't meant to be there.
Anyway (!)...
ReplyDeleteWhy's it taking you so fucking long to answer?
*taps feet*
ReplyDelete*considers masturbating while I wait*
PIGGY: That's because he's too thick to respond - or too busy eating pork pies.
ReplyDeleteAs for fags and their hags... What do you mean our 'own country'? We live in a WORLD of our own already!
IDV as Queen? Gawd give me fucking strength.
Beast and his pork pies… farting out dodgy curry fumes and claiming to be overworked while all the time he’s pinching Mr. Frobisher’s bottom in the kitchen.
*clubs Piggy over the head with gilded sceptre*
PIGGY: And did you just call me 'Sir'?
Well done girl. You're learning.
:@)
That was a one-off.
I’ll be back to slagging you off tomorrow.
PIGGY: And...
So many fucking typo's from me in the last few comments! I'm blaming the bottole of 'Lindemans Winemakers Release "Merlot-Cabernet-Sauvignon-Shiraz" (Vintage 2009)' that I've just glugged for that.
Even though I wonder how '2009' can be a vintage already.
It was rather nice though. And at 14% it's done the trick.
It's 5:24pm over here by the way. That's shameful, isn't it?
It must be Happy Hour SOMEWHERE in the world!
PIGGY: And I feel obliged to pount out that it was on sale! Reduced from $7.99 to £2.99.
So, even if it was shite, it'd still have been worth it.
$7.99 should have been £7.99.
Fuck. I'm drunk.
Obviously.
And yet you’re still brighter than folk who don’t identify themselves in the comments!
PIGGY: Ooooh!
I've just done conversion from £ sterling to Canuck toy-money - it turns out £7.99 is $14.11 in toy money!
Was that expensive for5 a bottle of plonk?
Yes, yes, I know I only paid £2.99, but...
No, not expensive at all. About average, actually.
Now shut the fuck UP already!
Okay, I tapped my feet a little too early.
ReplyDeletePIGGY: Anyway (!)...
ReplyDeleteWhy's it taking you so fucking long to answer?
*taps feet*
*considers masturbating while I wait*
Don’t you DARE use my curtains to wipe your knob!
What was average? The $7.99 or the £2.99?
ReplyDeleteJeez, I wish you fucking foreigners would be clearer.
Have I ever told you I have my own pint glass in the Elephant & Castle at the Pacific Centre (that's 'center' for you foreign cunts)?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's still there?
And how dare you assume that wanking always results in completion! Sometimes, it's just for the fun of it and to build up a nice portion for Tazzy to swallow.
ReplyDeleteHe's such a filthy bitch, at times.
Do you know what I'm enjoying more than anything?
ReplyDeleteIt's the fact that hardly anyone will be reading this due to the fact that it's the 'previous' post.
Oh I've been reading all along the way.
ReplyDeleteMost entertaining.
PIGGY: What was average? The $7.99 or the £2.99?
ReplyDeleteJeez, I wish you fucking foreigners would be clearer.
$14.11Canadian dollars is about average.
You can pay a lot more, obviously but that’s the going rate for something decent.
PIGGY: Have I ever told you I have my own pint glass in the Elephant & Castle at the Pacific Centre (that's 'center' for you foreign cunts)?
I wonder if it's still there?
I don’t even know if that so-called pub exists anymore as I infrequently set foot inside that mall.
I’ll look into it just for you, eh?
There’s also (I don’t know if it’s still there) an Elephant & Castle in Toronto too.
PIGGY: And how dare you assume that wanking always results in completion! Sometimes, it's just for the fun of it and to build up a nice portion for Tazzy to swallow.
He's such a filthy bitch, at times.
Bleecccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
PIGGY: Do you know what I'm enjoying more than anything?
It's the fact that hardly anyone will be reading this due to the fact that it's the 'previous' post.
Why don’t you go put something in the current post?
I need to shower and dress as I have to go to work later.
AYEM8Y: Oh I've been reading all along the way.
Most entertaining.
OH YOU FILTHY BITCH!
Oh, AYEM8Y is a voyeur!
ReplyDeleteYes I like to lick...
ReplyDeleteUm look...
That is...
Oh here we go.
ReplyDeletep.s. to AYEM8Y: Take a look at the comments in the current post to see what Piggy is offering to send me.
ReplyDeleteOffer? Offer?
ReplyDeleteI never offer, only give in to demands.
I'm nice like that.
PIGGY: Offer? Offer?
ReplyDeleteI never offer, only give in to demands.
I'm nice like that.
Right then.
I DEMAND to see Tazzy’s cock!
(send it to me privately if you don’t want Ayem8y’s prying eyes to see it)
You'll be fucking lucky.
ReplyDeletePIGGY: You'll be fucking lucky
ReplyDelete*waits by inbox for Tazzy’s todger*
"Lindemans Winemakers Release" - sounds like the winemaker releaved in a bottle: Drink quality stuff!
ReplyDeleteMAGO: "Lindemans Winemakers Release" - sounds like the winemaker releaved in a bottle: Drink quality stuff!
ReplyDeleteThat’s why the price was marked down.
wotta bunch of drunks; geeze. anyone ever notice how these Brits go on?
ReplyDelete*brandishes bottle of Thunderbird, throws cheetos, sets a bunch of covered wagons on fire; scalps narcissa whitman*
NATIONS: wotta bunch of drunks; geeze. anyone ever notice how these Brits go on?
ReplyDelete*brandishes bottle of Thunderbird, throws cheetos, sets a bunch of covered wagons on fire; scalps narcissa whitman*
Narcissa didn’t stand a chance what with her being in the missionary position.
Now don't you wish you'd gone with 'Pond Life'?
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: Now don't you wish you'd gone with 'Pond Life'?
ReplyDeleteGo on…
Say “I told you so.”
p.s. We’ve been missing you around here.
I'm going through my drawers as we speak and in the midst of a packing frenzy. I will be back to full blogging throttle by Christmas.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: I'm going through my drawers as we speak and in the midst of a packing frenzy. I will be back to full blogging throttle by Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure there will be volunteers from our audience to help you go through your drawers.