Now you can be prepared for those days when she’ll be cranky.
PMSBuddy.com is here to help you.
It’s an online reminder service that warns you when pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS or PMT as it’s known in the UK) is about to hit.
Simply enter the date and length of a woman's last cycle. Women can sign up to send reminders to up to FIVE men in their life.
*Mistress MJ sends link to The Houseboys*
Anything from one to five days notice can be specified, allowing for warnings of various degrees of danger in the form of yellow, green and red alerts.
Sign up today!
*hurls dinner plate at first commenter*
Yay! FIRST bitch!
ReplyDeleteLet me have it
Oh by the way. I've always wanted to watch that movie with the 50ft woman
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: If you think we're wasting our good china on you, you are sadly mistaken!
ReplyDelete*withholds fire for next commenter*
Meanie!
ReplyDeleteYou saggy PMT cunt
*throws cheap “Made in Denmark” figurine at CyberPoof*
ReplyDeleteWe were going to re-gift it, anyway.
HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD!!!! With love from all the marketing people at Always.
ReplyDeleteWould you like some ballet pumps?
Sx
Once again finds herself standing before the Mistress "begging Mistress' pardon for previous misbehavior!" *curtsies, backs out of the room as quickly as one can go backwards out of a room*
ReplyDeleteSCARLET: HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD!!!! With love from all the marketing people at Always.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY PERIOD MY ARSE!
*hurls dinner plate at Miss Scarlet*
Would you like some ballet pumps?
Would you like the pointed heel of my stiletto shoe inserted now or later?
LEAH: Once again finds herself standing before the Mistress "begging Mistress' pardon for previous misbehavior!" *curtsies, backs out of the room as quickly as one can go backwards out of a room*
OUT!
*stacks remainder of dinner plates and prepares for battle*
*throws in old coffe cup*
ReplyDelete*throws coffee grounds at MAGO*
ReplyDeleteOhhh, Polterabend!
ReplyDelete*throws assortment of cheap flea market tea cups with a dang to the floor*
Yippiehhh!
jaysus, it'll be over soon enough..drink more, sugar! ;) xoxox
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Ohhh, Polterabend!
ReplyDelete*throws assortment of cheap flea market tea cups with a dang to the floor*
Yippiehhh!
They may be flea market finds but they are not cheap!
Und das ist nicht ein Polterabend!
SAVANNAH: jaysus, it'll be over soon enough..drink more, sugar!
*throws MITM at Savannah*
Je confess ...
ReplyDeleteIf there are any plates left after this episode, here's a suggestion for the next Infomaniac Staff Party.
ReplyDeletexoxoxox
ReplyDeleteBlimey, it's like a Greek wedding in here....
ReplyDeleteSx
The absolute scariest three weeks of every month! Oops! Was I just thinking that or did I say it out loud?
ReplyDeletebtw:
I've thrown caution to the wind and published my wood choppin' coppens photo for you and FN.
MAGO: Get into our confessional booth.
ReplyDeleteWe shall be with you shortly.
XL: Add a little Italian mouse to those plate spinners and you have the makings of the Ed Sullivan Show.
SAVANNAH: Where exactly on our person would you like us to put that kiss?
SCARLET: This is no Big Fat Greek Wedding.
It’s your Big Fat Infomaniac Nightmare.
DONN: I've thrown caution to the wind and published my wood choppin' coppens photo for you and FN.
You wot?
We must see this for our own eyes.
Mistress MJ will return to this space with details!
DONN(post choppin' coppens viewing): Must you mock us so?
ReplyDeleteThe least you could have done is go shirtless BUT add the red bow tie as a festive touch.
Obviously you wanted to see more WOOD and less CHOPPINS.
ReplyDelete*hurrumph
DONN: Bring on the WOOD, I say!
ReplyDeleteChop chop!
as you wish, sugar... ;)
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Now I can eat my pound of chocolate and my 50 lb. salt lick without disapproving looks from the Hubby. I'll just send him a PMS notice! What a great idea!
ReplyDeleteI work in a company of ten. Eight are women. I tiptoe around here a lot. Basically, somebody is always throwing china.
ReplyDeletePull yourself together woman
ReplyDeleteYour just being a brat and using PMS as an excuse
Harumph
trust me, menopause is worse.
ReplyDeleteHug your uterus and tell it you're sorry.
SAVANNAH: It will be our little secret where I put it.
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: Oh wow! Now I can eat my pound of chocolate and my 50 lb. salt lick without disapproving looks from the Hubby. I'll just send him a PMS notice! What a great idea!
That’s the spirit!
*heaves 50 lb. salt lick into Random’s yard*
AWKWARD: I work in a company of ten. Eight are women. I tiptoe around here a lot. Basically, somebody is always throwing china.
They should make you wear a dirndl and get down on your knees and give praise to them.
At least that is what Mistress MJ would do to you.
*flings dirndl at Awkward*
BEAST: Pull yourself together woman
Your just being a brat and using PMS as an excuse
Harumph
It’s a better excuse than your MANFLU!
BOXER: trust me, menopause is worse.
Hug your uterus and tell it you're sorry.
*flings uterus at Boxer*
This place is getting trashed. Broken china, cheap plates, cups & mugs, coffee grounds, and now you removed your own dirndl and are standing there buck naked without a uterus. I hope you have a maid service.
ReplyDeleteWhere's old knudsen when we need him
ReplyDeleteHe knows all about weemins issues
AWKWARD: I hope you have a maid service.
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ has Houseboys to do her bidding.
Some of them are behind the scenes, their names unknown to you.
But others are here amongst us now.
Beast, for example, is in charge of hand-washing Mistress MJ’s delicate undergarments.
Mago is responsible for massaging his Mistress’s dainty feet.
And XL is her official Pillow Fluffer.
What can YOU do for Mistress MJ?
BEAST: Old Knudsen is busy fighting Fenians.
If you want to know his take on women’s issues, read Old Knudsen On Weemen
My new belt's too tight so I understand what the pain's like. I never get moody, though.
ReplyDelete*peeks in, then backs out again hastily dodging the hurled mitms, plates, and imprecations*
ReplyDeleteAsk not what AWKWARD can do for MJ, but rather what can MJ do for AWKWARD.
ReplyDelete*smug smile
GEOFF: My new belt's too tight so I understand what the pain's like. I never get moody, though.
ReplyDelete*whips Geoff with his own belt*
Now that we’ve removed your belt, you should feel better.
LEAH: *peeks in, then backs out again hastily dodging the hurled mitms, plates, and imprecations*
*flings dissertation at Leah*
Finish that!
AWKWARD: Ask not what AWKWARD can do for MJ, but rather what can MJ do for AWKWARD.
*smug smile*
Continue smiling as you’ll do as Mistress MJ tells you and you’ll do so with a smile on your face.
So it is written, so it shall be done.
Geoff, just smile and say, "I understand and I wish to continue"
ReplyDeleteA little musical interlude:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFRuLFR91e4
DONN: You're brawny AND brainy.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Ahhhh, the Little Sparrow delivers your message.
Oui!
ReplyDeleteI hope the 50ft woman isn't going to use that big American car for personal hygiene purposes. She ought to use a Japanese model--they're built so much better.
ReplyDelete