Sunday, April 20, 2008

Open Mic

It’s Open Mic day at Infomaniac.




Step up to the microphone and say whatever’s on your mind.
Posted by at

33 comments:

  1. Romeo Morningwood1:26 AM, April 20, 2008

    Hey Kids,
    SCORE GOALS NOT DRUGS!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Divian1:47 AM, April 20, 2008

    *tap*

    *tappity tap*

    *tappity tap-tap*

    'Ello? Is this thing on?

    'Elllloooo? I said, is this thing on?

    Oh, okay.

    Open mic, heh?

    In that cause, can I use this mic to order a shot of vodka, a beer and some cognac on the side? I am thirsty.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BEAST3:21 AM, April 20, 2008

    ****Beast is shy****

    ****blushes and runs off****

    ReplyDelete
  4. Old Knudsen3:57 AM, April 20, 2008

    We must prepare ourselves to meet our maker the day has cum to gather up all the tins of beans you can, all the bottled water and wank rags you can find and some kind of weapon like a .50 cal shooter or a pointed stick or something and hide hide hide under the stairs cos when our maker cums for the harvest or the Rapture he will take all the meaty wagons to feed his young but we will fight and bloody their noseless faces because no one will take the humans as food without a fight, well ok the Yanks will go without a fight because they'll be too busy complaining about their rights to be served with gravy .. They are here people, they walk among us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress5:33 AM, April 20, 2008

    DONN: Sonny Bono said it best, man, in Pammie’s on a Bummer.

    (Trippy music takes a min to kick in)

    If you manage to stick out the entire 6 minutes, you’ll need drugs.

    AWA: Here’s our cocktail menu.

    BEAST: Oh my! Your cheeks have reddened.

    All four of them!

    KNUDSEN: Did you say they WANK among us?

    Then we’re going to need industrial-sized boxes of CUM-KLEEN personal wipes.

    I can get us a discount.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CyberPete6:05 AM, April 20, 2008

    Her name was Lola
    She was a showgirl
    With yellow feathers in her hair
    and her dress cut down to there
    She would merengue and do the cha cha
    and while she tried to be a star
    Tony always tended bar
    Across the crowded floor they worked from 8 to 4
    They were young and they had each other
    Who could ask for more
    At the Copa Copacabana the hottest spot in all of Havana
    At the Copa Copacabana music and passion were always a fashion
    At the Copa they fell in love
    His name was Rico
    He wore a diamond
    Was escorted to his chair and saw Lola dancing there
    And when she'd finished he called her over
    But Rico went a bit too far
    Tony sailed across the bar
    And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
    There was blood and a single gun shot
    But just who shot who
    Her name is Lola
    She was a showgirl
    But that was thirty years ago when they used to have a show
    Now it's a disco but not for Lola
    Still in her dress she used to wear
    Faded feathers in her hair
    She sits there so refined
    And drinks herself half blind
    She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
    Now she's lost her mind
    At the Copa Copacabana
    The hottest spot in all of Havana
    At the Copa Copacabana
    Music and passion were always a fashion
    At the Copa don't fall in love

    ReplyDelete
  7. Daisy6:34 AM, April 20, 2008

    i don't know why but a quote from scarface is all i can bring up...lol...
    all i got is my word and my balls and i aint breakin either for anyone!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Mistress7:36 AM, April 20, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: I am NOT a Fanilow!

    Not even Donn would risk life and limb singing that song to me.

    And I don’t have a Copacabana Bobblehead.

    Are you wearing a feathered headdress and rhinestone bra while you sing this?

    Mind you don’t topple off those high heels.

    DAISY: I hear you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. CyberPete8:28 AM, April 20, 2008

    I'm not singing it

    I'm doing it like a poem, I like the lyrics

    not a fan of Barry Manilow. Notice how he hasn't changed his hair for the past 20 years

    ReplyDelete
  10. Daisy9:25 AM, April 20, 2008

    MJ...awww well i was close eh? i can always count on you for accurate correction!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jenny12:32 PM, April 20, 2008

    Old K has freaked me out and I have totally forgot what I was going to say.

    **head down, walks off... looking at people more carefully....**

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress1:00 PM, April 20, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: But you’re wearing a feathered headdress and rhinestone bra nonetheless, aren’t you?

    DAISY: I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!

    BOXER: Don’t mind Knudsen.

    He always gets like this on Hitler’s birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Daisy1:08 PM, April 20, 2008

    MJ i bought that scarface clock at spensors for a good friend for his birthday last year...he was woke up in the middle of the night by tony montana giving a rather crude saying and shooting a machine gun...lol...

    btw...Why don't you try stickin jou head up jour ass – see if it fits...via tony :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Mistress1:23 PM, April 20, 2008

    DAISY: Dang.

    I’ve been using the wrong alarm clock.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kapitano1:32 PM, April 20, 2008

    Where does the darkness go when you open your eyes?

    Do people de-evolve into creationists?

    How can I un-distend my nipples?

    Why can't they make selotape that sticks to everything except itself?

    How many fans of MASH know what MASH stands for?

    Why is it people who know exactly what art they like don't like any art?

    Wonder Woman was a princess, but she called herself Diana Prince. Why?

    Should Tazzy and Piggy adopt a child? Or should we pay them not to?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Daisy1:33 PM, April 20, 2008

    yes you have MJ...yes you have...

    btw the elvis swinging pelvis clock has an ability to make people sick as they are drawn to the swinging pelvis...hint for parties :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. CyberPete1:43 PM, April 20, 2008

    No I'm wearing THE SHORTS, my gold stilettos and holding a feather duster - it's red if you really want to know

    ReplyDelete
  18. KAZ1:53 PM, April 20, 2008

    In the style of Willie Nelson (sorry Pete) after a few ales ...

    Maybe I didn't love you
    Quite as often as I could have
    And maybe I didn't treat you
    Quite as good as I should have


    Little things I should have said and done
    I just never took the time
    You were always on my mind
    You were always on my mind

    I thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Tickersoid1:58 PM, April 20, 2008

    Boys will be girls and girls will be boys it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world, so's Lola.

    I don't think she was a show girl. At least she didn't show me, I just kinda guessed by the deep voice and Adam's apple.

    ReplyDelete
  20. M@2:05 PM, April 20, 2008

    I would pay an obscene amount of money today for a blow job.

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress2:55 PM, April 20, 2008

    KAPI: While I’m contemplating your questions, I’ll arrange to have one of our readers suck your nipples back into place.

    DAISY: My dancing has that same effect on people.

    CYBERPOOF: Ladies and gentlemen, could this picture get any poofier?

    KAZ: Listening to you sing Willie makes me wanna light up a spliff and forget about paying my taxes.

    Would you like me to braid your hair?

    TICKERS: Did she have a “dark brown voice” by any chance?

    Have you seen the way CyberPoof is dressed today?

    You should be singing Lola to him.

    MATT: Whomever I get to suck Kapi’s nipples back into place might do you when he’s finished.

    If he’s not fussy, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  22. CyberPete3:29 PM, April 20, 2008

    of course it could MJ

    you have no idea

    ReplyDelete
  23. Miss Smuggersham4:32 PM, April 20, 2008

    And now, I am going to act out Star Wars Episode IV with assorted figurines.

    Da naaaaa!
    Da na na na naaaaaa
    Da na na na naaaaaa
    Da na na naaaaaaaa!

    Pow! Shoom! Vroom! Psh!

    ReplyDelete
  24. BEAST5:03 PM, April 20, 2008

    I predict a photo of Piggies Arse will appear in MJ's next post

    We haven't seen it for weeks
    Its gotta make an appearance soon

    Will someone please tell Old Knudsen to put his teeth back in and STOP licking my thigh

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress5:12 PM, April 20, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: Do you have the blinds drawn or can the people at the bus stop see you?

    T-BIRD: How was it any different than Episode III?

    No, don’t tell me. I’m REALLY not interested.

    If you do tell me, I’ll send Bryan Adams to Australia.

    If it’s toys you need, why don’t you borrow some Lego from our little Danish boy?

    BEAST: You are endowed with … wait a minute. The words “endowed” and “Beast” cannot be used together in the same sentence.

    Rather, you are “blessed” with psychic gifts.

    For an arse SHALL appear this week.

    Though it won’t be Piggy’s.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Mistress5:13 PM, April 20, 2008

    BEAST: p.s. Knudsen is licking the salad cream off your thigh.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Miss Smuggersham2:13 AM, April 21, 2008

    The little Danish boy can't play with his leggo. He's got his finger stuck in that dyke over there.

    *Yink*!

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Mistress9:30 AM, April 21, 2008

    T-BIRD: He knows Dora?

    ReplyDelete
  29. INNER VOICES5:13 PM, April 21, 2008

    *sneaks in the back door and steals the microphone while no one is using it and sells it for spray paint. gets paper bag from inner pocket and begins huffing*

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress5:48 PM, April 21, 2008

    VOICES: Please pay attention to Donn's comment.

    ReplyDelete
  31. INNER VOICES6:42 PM, April 21, 2008

    *looks up from paper bag, has orange ring oround nose and mouth* "vas is das?"

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous8:57 PM, April 21, 2008

    I've been holding in a poo for three hours now just to see if it makes a difference on how I view life.

    *silence*

    Ok.

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress9:22 PM, April 21, 2008

    VOICES: Vas deferens does it make?

    K8: I'll report you to the RUC for a poo hostage-taking.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)