Thanks to everyone who attended Infomaniac’s first birthday/anniversary celebration yesterday.
But will you look at the state of this place!
Fag ends, empty liquor bottles, stained sheets.
Betty’s barfed on the piles of coats in the bedroom.
Farmer Giles has his cock out.
There’s salmon in the bog.
First Nations has toppled into the copper penny salad.
Piggy’s eaten everything from the buffet.
And Eddie Waring’s stunk the place up with his brussel sprout farts.
And to add insult to injury, those ingrates Piggy and Maidy insist on calling this Infomaniac’s first ANNIVERSARY, not birthday.
Okay then, you coupla self-righteous bitches. Fine. Have it your way.
ANNIVERSARY it is.
Now keep your arses in the air, Piggy and Maidy, while I light the candles on the ANNIVERSARY cake…
Oog... Where am I?
ReplyDelete* peels self off the sofa and looks around *
Fwwwaugh! Stinks of sprouts in here.
* stumbles into kitchen to find Piggy splayed out on the table, a candle up his arse and that kettle in his gob *
Ewww. I'm off. You can clear up without me, MJ. Great party, though!
IVF: The least you could do is leave Broom behind!
ReplyDeleteI always miss the good parties.
ReplyDelete*tries to recreate the effect by sticking arse in air and adorning myself with lit candles*
There appears to have been quite a messy accident behind the sofa. Also, I seem to have misplaced my pants.
ReplyDeleteMaidy - that's the table leg, not the candle. Slack cunt.
ReplyDeleteIVF didn't have time to extract Broom from his man-snatch, I guess.
MAIDY: Stop using my furniture as sex toys! We've all seen your huge vibrator collection so why didn't you BYOD? Bring Your Own Dildo? Perhaps I should have stated that more clearly on the invitation.
ReplyDeleteTICKERS: You can be the centrepiece at my 2nd anniverary.
EDDIE: We'll just blame the accident on Piggy, shall we?
I'll look the other way. This time.
PIGGY:Extracting Broom from IVF's overstretched man snatch should have been easy enough.
MAIDY: You again? Put that down and give it a good polish.
Filthy American ho.
I DID bring a dildo. Damn thing fell in the Spinach dip. It was a 7" green jellied one with variable speed control.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
It was one of my faves.
And I had JUST used the damn thing, too.
Oh well.
DID bring a dildo. Damn thing fell in the Spinach dip. It was a 7" green jellied one with variable speed control.
ReplyDelete*wiping spinach dip off face*
Haven't seen it....
If I had a man-snatch, it would be tighter than a vice, I'll have you know!
ReplyDeleteCheeky cunts.
How many of those thick church candles did you 'eat' Piggy, before that lit one wouldn't go in any further?
I wouldn't been up to it but what a hot load of bollix Love Paddy.
ReplyDeleteMAIDY AND EDDIE:
ReplyDeleteFilth.
Both of you.
It's time you had a proper introduction...
Maidy, Eddie.
Eddie, Maidy.
Chat amongst yourselves, you filthy bitches.
IVF: Your man snatch is legendary.
It's been compared, in fact, to the caves of Lascaux.
PADDY: A lovely lad like you shouldn't be exposed to this filth.
Here's to hot loads.
I always have a wax like substance up me hole, are there any bum experts here?
ReplyDeleteWhat a loaded question, sits back and awaits the accusations to be thrown about.
Wow, that pic, looks painful...although I think piggy might be enjoying the view of it.
ReplyDeleteThe dirty cunt.
knudie! you and waring stop playing tug of war with that thing! it's not clean!
ReplyDeletemj, they wont' help clean up.
why the hell are my underpants full of carrot slices and mayonnaise?
i feel healthy, but strangely...retro.
KNUDSEN: Our resident "bum experts" of which there are many, are too cowardly to cum forth on the topic.
ReplyDeleteAWA:Yes, speaking of bum experts, Piggy would be first on the list of posterior professionals.
FN: I'll just bring in one of my man slaves to tidy up.
I want to spank piggy.
ReplyDeleteWith a dead sock.
The cunt.