Unemployed? Thinking of changing careers? Find new direction in your life as a sex toy tester.
Read about a woman who test-drives sex toys for a living.
Think of me as the Consumer Reports of sex-toy testing -- my standards are that high.
I keep a notebook by my bed, so I can immediately jot down notes, like "feels slimy" or "has a funny aftertaste.”
And read about a man who test-drives sex toys for a living.
Just because I test sex toys, doesn’t mean I’m some lonely troll living under a bridge whacking off to Penthouse.
"Just because I test sex toys, doesn’t mean I’m some lonely troll living under a bridge whacking off to Penthouse."
ReplyDeleteErm... Yes, it fucking well does.
Piggy: Penthouse? I had you pegged as more of a Honcho man. Does Tazzy know about your little secret?
ReplyDeletei want to know about the note taking. if it was a really good product, wouldn't your hands be trembling too much to hold a pencil?
ReplyDelete*copies url of Honcho*
A sex toy tester AND a comedienne. Some people have all the fun.
ReplyDeleteFN:She should consider dick-tation.
ReplyDeleteWW: Ask her if she'd consider hiring you. You could be a sex-toy testing comedy team. You'd be her "straight man" so to speak.
Hey I was looking for a way to make some extra money. Thanks MJ!
ReplyDeleteI often wondered how they got those quoted snippets for the back of lubes and vibrators ... not that I partake in any of that.
ReplyDelete*goes back to browsing "Adam and Eve" website with 20% valued customer coupon*
Pru: Tell us how it works out for you.
ReplyDeleteMaidink: 20 per cent? Hold on. I can get it for you wholesale.
"Welcome to the quality control department. Please leave your dirty macs on the pegs provided.
ReplyDeleteAlso note that upon leaving there will be an intimate body search - just in case any of you decide to smuggle out next year's line in any...orifices."
She refused. Said she already had her own straight man and she didn't find me funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm crushed. And flaccid.
It JUST hit me how that particular toy worked.
ReplyDeleteMaddie's a bit slow, isn't she?
ReplyDeleteThat is quite an interesting job and pleasurable as well. But what type of sex toy is that on the photo? It really puzzled me
ReplyDeleteKapitano: No smuggling. We don't want "Customs & Sexcise" getting involved.
ReplyDeleteWW: Disppointing. But I'm sure she can recommend a product to help you with your "little problem."
Charles:Let's ask Maddie, shall we? She seems to have figured it out. If she doesn't respond, Piggy can fill you in. He owns one. In fact, I think Piggy has shares in the company that makes them.
Now, if they needed folks to test drive Billy or Vin's (and he's not gay!) wacker....I would so sign up.
ReplyDeleteAwaiting: You poor sweet delusional wee thing. Bless.
ReplyDeleteI'm not delusional. Just confident in my two men.
ReplyDelete*puts straight jacket back on before oderlies come in*
orderlies....or whatever.
ReplyDeleteAwaiting: Vin will turn straight when hell freezes over, when monkeys fly out of my butt, and when Tazzy is mine.
ReplyDeleteTazzy will never be yours.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, Vin remains a poof.
Fucking hell, I almost tripped over that wayward monkey!
ReplyDeletePiggy: Tazzy will be mine if you continue to trip over the wayward monkeys. You'll end up in hospital. Or worse.
ReplyDelete*laffs and pops out more monkeys*
I wouldn't know a sex toy from Tolstoy so I am definitely out.
ReplyDeleteI suppose if the hours were as flexible as the long silky smooth thighs wrapped around your ears like a velvet vice as the barely audible moans of pleasure dribble quietly from her twitching pouty lips that a job like that would be OK?
HE: I'm not sure I'd want anyone DRIBBLING moans of pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI have arrived...are we still waiting for me to give you my explanation of how this sucker works or did Homo (not you Piggy) answer it?
ReplyDeleteI'll go ahead...It's like the Rabbit...except it's attached to the head. You get penetration while perfoming cunnilingus (sp?). Am I correct?
Maddie: Yes, we were waiting for you but we all gave up and went home.
ReplyDelete*wonders how you knew what the device is used for*
LOL...I'll never tell...
ReplyDeleteMaddie: We'll just leave it up to our overactive imaginations then.
ReplyDelete