Wednesday, March 25, 2020

New Product

The Infomaniac House of Beauty and the Infomaniac Medical Clinic combine to bring you a product for our times, seen here modelled by Miss Scarlet...


Before we can market it to the masses, it needs a name. It also needs a promotional blurb; something that will convince the public to buy it. 

Suggestions?
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33 comments:

  1. Jon4:44 AM, March 25, 2020

    The "Pac-Mask"? Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress9:21 AM, March 25, 2020

      JON: For those who still have their game on.

      Delete
  2. Ms Scarlet9:16 AM, March 25, 2020

    Jon beat me to it!
    The Trout Face - Making pouting safe for everyone! Made from silk microfibre, and silver scales to keep bugs at bay.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress9:22 AM, March 25, 2020

      MISS SCARLET: Is a butter stick involved?

      Delete
    2. Ms Scarlet10:04 AM, March 25, 2020

      I think a butter stick is advisable, just in case.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. Mistress Maddie12:26 PM, March 25, 2020

      I hope you had MJ disinfect that thing before you modeled that Scarlet?

      *hands over ultra violet light*

      Delete
  3. Mistress Maddie12:33 PM, March 25, 2020

    The Infomaniac-19!

    Now, protect your epidermis, while pampering your skin with natural "treats".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:18 PM, March 25, 2020

      MISTRESS MADDIE: When I hear the word “treats,” I think only of CAKE.

      Delete
  4. Inexplicable DeVice1:58 PM, March 25, 2020

    Are we sure that's Ms Scarlet under there...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:18 PM, March 25, 2020

      MR. DeVice: The Mistress personally supervised Miss Scarlet’s costume changes.

      By the way, she’s not wearing knickers!

      Delete
    2. Ms Scarlet6:55 PM, March 25, 2020

      I will deal with this in the morning!
      Sx

      Delete
    3. Rimpy Rimpington2:04 PM, March 30, 2020

      Ha! You made me say "under where?". And happy belated birthday, IDV!

      Delete
  5. normadesmond5:50 PM, March 25, 2020

    Firstly, let me say that Scarlet
    has never looked so fetching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms Scarlet6:59 PM, March 25, 2020

      Hmmm....tut.
      You too could look nearly as fetching as moi with a trout face mask, Ms Norma.
      Sx

      Delete
  6. normadesmond5:54 PM, March 25, 2020

    Been trying to come up with the perfect marketing strategy. This is the best I have so far...

    Infomaniac Rind. Keep your pith safe and your fruit safer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. normadesmond8:47 PM, March 25, 2020

    Hoping Testosterone is doing okay. Lord knows what he/she could compose with regards to my end of times vagina.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress8:52 PM, March 28, 2020

      NORMA: Has it turned to dust, yet?

      Delete
    2. Testosterone8:53 AM, March 30, 2020

      Norma dear, your concern lifts me from my puddle of tears and concern for kitsch (without garish excess, what will we have to discuss?).

      Back to you, dearest.

      Norma dear,
      with well tread gash,
      Hoard butter sticks,
      instead of cash.

      Your gristle cunt,
      and you know it is,
      can try to bunt,
      though sans jhiz.

      It's strike three,
      thousand or so,
      the men who rut,
      no bone they throw.

      Your end time clit,
      a stalactite now,
      sees less dick, then
      a farm factory sow.

      Suggest you file
      a useful notch,
      hang your satchel,
      or a velvet bag of Scotch.

      Time to repurpose
      your glory hole of old,
      douche with muriatic acid,
      to inhibit the mold.

      Such drastic times,
      between your legs,
      reeking of shrimp juice,
      and old cheezy eggs.

      Norma I send you,
      self-distanced joy,
      add sand to your lube,
      a power tool to your toy.

      End times indeed,
      your slathers complete,
      mankind's open offer,
      ain't worth your bleat.






      Delete
    3. normadesmond10:55 PM, March 30, 2020

      If we needed a reason for humanity to go on, I think we need look no further than the sublime poetry above.

      Armageddon. . .BAH!

      Delete
    4. The Mistress10:01 AM, March 31, 2020

      I agree, Norma. That was truly inspirational poetry for our times.

      Delete
    5. looby6:09 PM, April 07, 2020

      At last, an articulate response to a little-discussed hazard of keeping one's distance for too long. I applaud you Sir, in amongst the others on Thursday nights.

      Delete
  8. Mitzi 8:30 AM, March 26, 2020

    Smoking and heavy drinking is a detriment to ones health and physical appearance. Just five minutes a day wearing the Lynne Perrie 2000 will quickly reduces the bloating in your face and removes those tell tale spider veins that screams alkie.

    NB. Abusing the Lynne Perrie 2000 by leaving it on for longer than the stated time may result in you looking permanently like Gail from Coronation Street and having no other ambition in life other than to play the same old character in a soap opera for 40 odd years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jon1:03 PM, March 26, 2020

      I always preferred Suzie Birchall, myself. Jx

      Delete
    2. The Mistress8:53 PM, March 28, 2020

      How has Gail managed to snag FIVE husbands?

      Delete
    3. Jon9:00 PM, March 28, 2020

      How did she outlive all but one of them? Jx

      Delete
  9. Mitzi 5:39 AM, March 30, 2020

    I think Suzie Birchall has been in an episode of Buggernation Street.

    By using her feminine wiles e.g. fluttering her eyelashes and telling everyone she has no gag reflex.

    ReplyDelete
  10. mrpeenee8:48 AM, March 30, 2020

    Oh, you mean the Sensory Deprivation and Exfoliation Masque?

    "Put it on. We'll let you know when it's al over."

    ReplyDelete
  11. Rimpy Rimpington2:08 PM, March 30, 2020

    The Masque of the Scarlet Death?

    ReplyDelete