...there are going to be Changes at Infomaniac.
Mistress MJ and The Houseboys have begun sorting through the flotsam and jetsam chez Infomaniac in preparation for our move across Canada later this year.
And we’re discovering all sorts of forgotten gems.
Like these GIANT UNDERPANTS!...
With so much sorting and packing to be done, we simply cannot keep everything.
So we are offering you this chance to claim the GIANT UNDERPANTS for your very own.
The big knickers are clean, by the way, and have never been worn. Yes, they’re still in the package.
If you covet these GIANT UNDERPANTS, please state why you should have them.
Mistress MJ will send them to the most deserving Bitch based on how much she likes your answer.
You can read more about the World’s Largest Underpants here.
Photo taken by Mistress MJ at Archie McPhee in Seattle
I see London
ReplyDeleteI see France
I'd sleep warm this winter
under giant underpants!
second!!!!
ReplyDeleteoh.my.gawd! you tricked me. it's 9.41pm on the east coast and your post says 12.01am...but wtf, ...
ReplyDeleteI'M SECOND!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo
XL: I see London
ReplyDeleteI see France
So far you’re the only one with half a chance.
SAVANNAH: If you’d been first, it would have been too much for you.
Imagine…the inauguration AND being first for the first time … all in one day!
The shock would have been too much for your system.
As for the 12:01 time, that’s because I’m behind most of the world as far as time zones are concerned. So I set it for 12:01 to make it the next day so when the Brits wake up (they’re 8 hours ahead of me) it looks like I’m on the same page as them.
Trickery, Savannah. Trickery.
Long story short, if I were to post it in my actual time zone, they would wake up and find a story dated from the day before them and then they pester me asking, “Are you going to post anything new for today?” Really, they do.
EROS: Oh crap! That was YOU not XL!
ReplyDeleteAPOLOGIES!
Mistress MJ has been into the vino.
"XL: I see London
ReplyDeleteI see France
So far you’re the only one with half a chance."
Uh, thanks. What did I do?
XL: See comment above yours.
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ has been drinking red wine all day whilst watching the inauguration.
It's hard to see over giant underpants.
ReplyDeleteEROS: But you can do a lot of really cool stuff with giant underpants.
ReplyDeleteI have enough tat so I'll give this one a miss
ReplyDeletei'm good on the panties but if you want to send a bottle of vino i would be more than glad to share :)
ReplyDeleteI always wondered where Beast got his underpants from.
ReplyDeletePiggy everyone knows I always go commando
ReplyDeleteYes, but do they have a suitably reinforced crotch to contain my manhood?
ReplyDeleteI think they would look good on Piggy's head.
garfer, did you ever think of weaing two pairs of jocks in order to contain your undoubtedly extraordinary manhood?
ReplyDeleteor you could just admit to being average
I need them because I want to go camping this summer.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think I want those giant underpants. I would convert them into a tote bag to carry my knitting. Embellished of course with little sequins and patches.
ReplyDeleteRemember the freakin' green elf shorts? And how mistress MJ had them wrapped around her head? And posted us a lovely pic of it?
ReplyDeleteCan you see where this train of thought is going?
They're still not big enough for your ma.
ReplyDeleteI could make them into a fetching tea-cosy. I have a big Teapot.
ReplyDeleteSx
Blimey Miss Scarlet , I could use them to garage my car
ReplyDeleteThey Are So Big I Could just Rotate them anti-clockwise every day.......AND (like the President) I would only have to change them every 4 Years!
ReplyDeleteBITCHES: Well this is all well and good but I can’t determine by your witty *cough* comments which of you are serious contenders for the GIANT UNDERPANTS.
ReplyDeleteDo any one of you truly want them? If so, we shall consider your comment.
Thus far, I’m picturing Kaz forming the GIANT UNDERPANTS into a tent on her camping adventure. I said “camping” adventure, not camp adventure, CyberPoof. And she could use GARFER’s huge member as a tent pole.
As you were. Continue.
Uh, there might be more contenders if the Mistress were including a pair of her own underpants...
ReplyDelete[resumes pillow fluffing duties]
I want those underpants because my ass has grown to a gigantic size after the holidays...the stress was too much so I ate everything in site. Now I don't wear underpants because none of them fit me. I've been walking around with NO UNDERPANTS and it's getting COLD!!!
ReplyDeleteI love how Canada only has two directions.
ReplyDeleteXL: Funny you should mention Mistress MJ’s underpants as last year she briefly (ha, “BRIEFly”) considered auctioning a pair of her gently-used panties off to the highest bidder.
ReplyDeleteHowever, she didn’t want them to end up in the hands of any panty-sniffing old perverts.
RANDOM: Your dilemma touches the heart of this Canadian who understands what it’s like to endure the sting of a cold winter breeze in the Hinterlands.
MAGO: Speaking of directions, you must learn how to follow them!
Do you want the GIANT UNDERPANTS?
Yes or no with a good reason.
Have you got any in orange? Preferably orange velvet. A pair of these would be helpful.
ReplyDeleteSx
Then I could use them to hide my enormous bush from my neighbours.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: I suggest you hire a gardener with hedge clippers instead.
ReplyDeleteIs there a bustle in your hedgerow?
BITCHES: Update: So far the only real contenders are LEAH and RANDOM CHICK.
ReplyDeleteIf nobody else steps up and wishes to claim them, we can expect to see a Leah/Random Chick bitchfight for the GIANT UNDERPANTS.
It won't be pretty.
I'm not a fan of the Tighty Whitey's, but I am a fan of Archie M's.
ReplyDeleteMistress ... ? I am here - -here, yes, yesyes baby, it will be allright, just sleep now ... no NO! We'll put that away, good ... fine, pfff ...
ReplyDelete*snoooorrrkkking noises from Mistress MJ's deposit*
Vallpolicella fell dry I heared. And I am not contenting for this "thing". And I am following happily any direction your lovely foot is pointing. And my name is not M@.
BOXER: Archie McPhee is my Mecca.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: You’re late!
*drips droplet of Vallpolicella onto shoe, points, and waits*
Shiny like blood, bittersweet venom ...
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Pretty poison.
ReplyDeleteIf you need me, just whistle.
ReplyDeleteYou know how to whistle, don't you Mistress? Just put your lips together and blow ...
MAGO: Ungezogen!
ReplyDeleteNej tak.
ReplyDeleteI will go to sleep now and dream of young strapping gentlemen in small tight underpants or possibly no underpants. Not sure if they are on camp adventures. I hate camping
CYBERPOOF: Beast is neither young nor strapping but he does wear small, tight underpants.
ReplyDeleteI think those things would fit my horse. When you weight 1000 lbs, you have a big ass.
ReplyDeleteWould have to cut a hole for his tail... or just wear them backwards.
PONITA: Is that a "Yes, I want the GIANT UNDERPANTS!" or are you just ruminating?
ReplyDeleteAw, sure, why not? If I win them, I will try and take a picture of them ON my horse and post it!
ReplyDeleteThat could be interesting.... trying to get giant underpants on a horse....
PONITA: The GIANT UNDERPANTS have a 100-inch waistband.
ReplyDeleteDo you think they would fit your horse?
44th?? Damn, see what happens when I'm sober (well, if Vicoden doesn't count.)
ReplyDeleteI NEED these underpants. I have a 350 lb neighbor that I am sick of seeing his ass crack when he rides around on his Harley. These might be big enough to cover his extra-large ass.
I can sneak up and leave them in his mailbox.
HOODCHICK: Hmmm...this is getting interesting.
ReplyDeleteIf Ponita promises to take a pic of her horse wearing GIANT UNDERPANTS, I'll have to go with that though.
Hey...Hoodchick and Ponita! Am I gonna have to sit my fat ass down on your heads along with Leah's? Those giant underpants are MINE! In fact, I had a small dog stuck up my ass for most of the day and didn't realize it. Guess that must've happened when I sat down on a park bench to feed the pidgeons. Ooops! My situation is DIRE! My big bootie is freezing...and small animals are getting stuck in there! HELP!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps a larger dog would warm your arse.
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: Your frozen fat ass pales in comparison to GIANT UNDERPANTS on a HORSE!
ReplyDeleteDeal with it.
HOODCHICK: Hahaha!!!
p.s. LEAH is completely out of the race now with her knitting bag. pfffffft.
do you really need to ask? you've seen my arse.....you know what size it is.....!
ReplyDeleteMANUEL: You were the first who came to mind with your big hairy Irish arse, erm, I mean your "sugarloaf" but even you can't compare to a horse in GIANT UNDERPANTS.
ReplyDeleteUnderpantsless horses does seem to be a chronic Canadian problem.
ReplyDeleteWait, I'm not out! Now that it's heated up, I want 'em! For reals, people. I pledge to actually make a knitting bag and then post a picture with a tutorial for making a giant underpants tote bag.
ReplyDeleteOh, and here at home we call those "junderpants," a phrase coined by my daughter when she was two.
So yes, I want the junderpants.
I thought if I spoiled it for Ponita I would win, but so far all I've found for horse underpants is here.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.swishhorse.com/faq.html
Really, not as funny as the giant briefs would be. I haven't given up searching yet!
Damn...now I'm gonna have this little dog stuck up my ass and my cheeks frozen.
ReplyDeleteHorse underpants...Pfffttt *waves hands in the air*
somewhere, someplace, a very, very large man is going commando tonight.
ReplyDelete*lone figure on a distant hilltop plays taps*
XL: Hee hee hee.
ReplyDeleteLEAH: A tutorial for a GIANT UNDERPANTS totebag?
Bonus points for craftiness.
We’ll just wait for Ponita, then, shall we? Because if she can’t guarantee us a photo of her horse wearing GIANT UNDERPANTS, then we could be swayed to the junderpants side of the fence.
HOODCHICK: Swishy!
Although impressed by your diligent research, that “under rug” lacks the hilarity of a pair of GIANT UNDERPANTS.
Kudos nonetheless.
RANDOM: Would you mind moving to the side?
Your giant frozen ass is blocking my view.
NATIONS: It’s about time you returned from OreGONE.
One of your bras is about the size of a pair of GIANT UNDERPANTS
i would like to have the giant manties because im (quite frankly) getting sick and tired of waiting for the green elf shorts to show back up and be offered... give me the fucking massive manties now and i will sign them, send them off with a gift of my choice to the next person who wants them... trust me, all who have been on the receiving end of my large gifts have not been disappointed...and i will have someone take a picture of me wearing them...
ReplyDeleteOh, I can guarantee you a picture ofhim wearing the giant underpants.
ReplyDeleteHe already wears a hat in the summer, and a blanket when outside in the winter. I don't think underpants will be an issue at all!
VOICES: It’s about time you hauled your big ass back here.
ReplyDeleteFor being away so long, you receive demerit points. Hence you are ineligible for the mammoth manties.
As for The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, CyberPoof in Denmark promises he’ll hold the contest … it’s just a matter of time. You know how he likes to preen. CyberPoof is probably looking for just the right pair of high heels to match them. It’s all about accessorizing, you know!
Perhaps we’ll find something else for you to wear. We’re not finished rummaging around in the closet yet.
PONITA: The GIANT UNDERPANTS are yours!!!
Congratulations!
Send us your mailing address pronto.
BITCHES: Well, it was a nail biter.
ReplyDeleteThe excitement mounted when Leah promised us a knitting tutorial and we must admit to feeling a little fizzle of fervor, picturing them round the loins of Inner Voices. HoodChick deserves them for having to stare at 350 pounds of ass crack on her Harley-riding neighbor but we didn’t want to be responsible for her being crushed as he sat on her when she attempted to wrestle the underpants onto him. And Random Chick coulda been a contender had she not got so huffy when I asked her to move her big frozen ass out of my way so I could see around her.
Ponita wins fair and square for her zany idea to put the GIANT UNDERPANTS on her horse AND take a photograph for us.
Yay for Canadian ingenuity!
Wow! I won!!!! I feel so special!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll email you my address and will take a photo of Thunder in said undies as soon as I can and will post it on my blog.
How cool!