It has come to Mistress MJ’s attention that many of you Bitches are chomping at the bit for a bit of tail.
That’s why the staff of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service (pictured below) is manning the phone lines, ready to match up clients with you, the Infomaniac Bitches.
Simply jot down a few “dating profile” points about yourself in the comments box …
Your interests, sexual preference, what you want in a mate, etc.
If you’re one of the chosen few, we’ll profile you here on Infomaniac and try to match you up with one of our many clients who are gagging for a shag, er, um, I mean who are looking for love.
Our dating service is also open to those who are already in relationships but are looking for “a bit on the side.”
Discretion assured!
So don’t just sit there. Call today!
Yay! First!
ReplyDeleteEr... do you have anything with a cock? I'm not fussy...
Have you perused our Wenis Wednesday listings?
ReplyDeleteWhy yes... Most of them appear to me to be more than adequate.... Perhaps you have something in tartan? I feel like tossing a caber...
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty satistfied munchin on Scottie's cigar right now!
ReplyDeleteBut if you can find a dozen of cowboys all geared up in leather chaps, boots and spurs, well, I'll have my front and back door wide open for them!
Oh Hai again, dear Princess! Haven't seen any cowboys down there where you are, darhling?
*busy scribbling notes for future reference*
ReplyDeleteI'm open minded regarding my choice of life partner. If they send me money I promise not to stalk them, slash their tires, or pee on their houseplants. For the right price I'll leave them alone and never bother them.
ReplyDeleteSeeks: Female. Non-smoker. Likes kitties. Willing to consider reasonably convincing post-ops.
ReplyDeleteTB: I'm open minded regarding my choice of life partner. If they send me money I promise not to stalk them, slash their tires, or pee on their houseplants. For the right price I'll leave them alone and never bother them.
ReplyDelete*makes mental note to remove planters from premises*
LX: Seeks: Female. Non-smoker. Likes kitties. Willing to consider reasonably convincing post-ops.
No mention of pillow fluffing skills?
1. i am big.
ReplyDelete2. i've done it with a chimp.
3. i've got a room over the gayrage.
4. max is always in the room.
I can provide a 10% discount on wedding invitations for all successful matches. Just thought I ought to mention this.
ReplyDeleteSx
I can happily report that I have the best husband in the world. Seriously, I am so freaking lucky that it makes the first miserable 32 years worth every moment.
ReplyDeleteNORMADESMOND: 1. i am big.
ReplyDelete2. i've done it with a chimp.
3. i've got a room over the gayrage.
4. max is always in the room.
But your hands smell.
SCARLET: I can provide a 10% discount on wedding invitations for all successful matches. Just thought I ought to mention this.
Bitches: Miss Scarlet’s calligraphy must be seen!
Send her your business!
COOKIE: I can happily report that I have the best husband in the world. Seriously, I am so freaking lucky that it makes the first miserable 32 years worth every moment.
You have just crushed the hopes of all those Bitches here who lust after you.
I'll be at the Cum-N-Go truck stop off I-65 near Florala all day. Men's room, second stall, glory hole, tap your feet.
ReplyDeletekabuki is a mega-star. kabuki requires a manly-man, preferably a porsche mechanic with a trust fund.
ReplyDeleteMEAN DIRTY PIRATE: I'll be at the Cum-N-Go truck stop off I-65 near Florala all day. Men's room, second stall, glory hole, tap your feet.
ReplyDeleteHence your nickname: The Truck Stop Trollop.
KABUKI: kabuki is a mega-star. kabuki requires a manly-man, preferably a porsche mechanic with a trust fund.
You need a Body and Fender Man to pound out your dents.
...... making mental note of stop off I-65 near Florala all day.... now where was I, OH, I'm with Princess. Anything with a dick, but they have to be able to re-enact the Sexette scene with Mae West and Tim Dalton first, in the nude!
ReplyDeleteI'm like Princess. Any cock'll do!
ReplyDeleteAnd some ass, too!
ReplyDeleteI'll 70 for anyone but Mr. McFeely.
ReplyDelete...seriously, ANYONE BUT Mr. McFeely. brrrr.
ReplyDeleteSluts!
ReplyDeleteALL of you!
It's been years since I've been with a woman, so that would be nice. However, I still like my mens. Outside of the 6 things on my no-no list (no children, dead people, relatives, animals, scat, or Roman showers), anything is fair game. ;D
ReplyDeleteBRIAN G.: It's been years since I've been with a woman, so that would be nice. However, I still like my mens. Outside of the 6 things on my no-no list (no children, dead people, relatives, animals, scat, or Roman showers), anything is fair game. ;D
ReplyDeleteToo bad you don’t do relatives.
I have a cousin who’s gagging for a shag.
"I have a cousin who’s gagging for a shag"
ReplyDelete[puts hand up]
I have fairly minimal requirements. See prior comment.
LX: "I have a cousin who’s gagging for a shag"
ReplyDelete[puts hand up]
I have fairly minimal requirements. See prior comment.
I’ll let him know.
I'll do other people's relatives! Just not my own. I've had some fun 3-somes with brothers and a father/son duo before. Gods I miss my whore days.
ReplyDelete