Dr. Anthony Fauci says, “I don’t think we should ever shake hands ever again, to be honest with you. Not only would it be good to prevent coronavirus disease, it probably would decrease instances of influenza dramatically in this country.”
We here at the Infomaniac Medical Clinic have long avoided shaking hands whenever possible as we view human beings as walking petri dishes.
Where do you Bitches stand on handshaking? Do you shake? Will you continue to shake when this blows over?
And what do you do when someone extends their hand and you want to decline a handshake?
You could always wear a pair of white cotton gloves, like the Queen does when she meets people and when you get a moment alone gingerly take them off using the very tips of your thumb and forefinger and hand them over to your lady in waiting and tell her to take them away and burn them, then put on a fresh pair or you could wear surgical rubber gloves nobody will want to shakes hands with a rubber glove. I think faire la baiser should be banned too. Yes I do shake hands when one is proffered with confidence, knowing that I have a miniature bottle of alco gel in my back pocket and in my car I have some Dettol kitchen wipes. Saying all that, if a gorgeous 20 year old with blonde hair was to waggle his doo-dah at me I'd be down quicker than a Hungry Hippo
ReplyDeleteWhat do I do with an extended hand?
ReplyDeleteWhy I look at it as a chair!
Norma dear,
DeleteTo pander to the digits,
of those who know not you,
foists upon all that fidgets,
the aromatics you imbue.
For their polite extension,
usurped for gratifying gain,
Is but a sexual detention,
if consciousness they retain.
For you to worm and wiggle,
simply par for your course,
and what's a hand and forearm,
when your preference is a horse?
Miss Manners left aghast,
by your ways and means,
you've sullied men on deaths door,
not to mention all those teens.
So to you nary an offer,
of elbow or the like,
your broken teeth vulva,
best fed a seatless bike.
*cackles*
DeleteI think I was right the first time. Is it faire de bise?
ReplyDeletefair le queu perhaps ? Sorry Mitzi, as far as I remember French slang "faire baiser" means as much as "beschissen werden" - getting screwed ? It is a rude expression for falling victim to a fraud, for being cheated.
DeleteHere's a big, fat, sloppy Schmatz !
I was reminded of the old Soviet breadlines this morning when I was queueing at Waitrose, I should have worn a babushka.
Deleteand with plenty of tongue, otherwise why bother.
DeleteVodka ! Kiss me Kate !
Delete*enters room briefly and feels overwhelming urge to Febreeze everything and everyone*
ReplyDeleteDear....Ive been shaking ever since that idiot won the election. Some days people think I have Parkinsons.
ReplyDeleteBut yes...now hand shaking remind me of a glory hole. Should i shake it?
I would give them a withering glare and instruct them to back off.
ReplyDeleteSx
Would your rotary warning light come on, bathing them in a terrifying red/orange strobe-glow?
DeleteOf course!! Unless my battery is low.
DeleteSx
If someone extends their hand to me, I touch it with my wand, then pick up the resulting amphibian with a pair of tongs and deposit it in a nearby pond or toilet.
ReplyDeleteOr, give them my bag and expect to have it unpacked and put away when I get to my room, depending on where I am at the time.
Although, like Mitzi, I will shake if it is proffered with confidence. However, I don't generally like touching so, post-virus, I shall probably go with "How quaint, but no, thank you" while trying not to let my sneer be too obvious...
DeleteA warning to all: Do NOT touch Mr. Device’s warty wand.
DeleteWell, I should have seen that coming!
DeleteYou really left yourself open to that one, Mr.DeVice.
DeleteIt depends who has put what into your hand and how much you want to shake it, I suppose. Hugh Jackman extending a strong and firm one towards me? Yes please! Anything attached to Trump, never. Jx
ReplyDeleteJon, are you a woofter ?.
DeleteOh gawd! Now we'll all be doing The Continental and hugging instead of shaking. I think I'll go with the polite head bow...
ReplyDeleteAll this unnecessary touching needs to stop. The excessive hugging. It’s like you’re now expected to hug even your dentist. Just no. No.
ReplyDeleteTreat me like the Queen. I’ll wear shoulder length kidskin gloves and you aren’t supposed to touch me unless invited. Which isn’t bloody likely because I prefer to keep my gloves white.
I'm with dinah on this one, a polite head bow and a "Hi, how y'all doin?" If need be, I will tell a bitch to back the fuck off! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI give them a big hug and a kiss. And then I cough.
ReplyDeleteMy job required tons of interpersonal contact, which I didn't mind, but ugh, people who can't shake hands properly creep me out
I'm relieved that I no longer have to make up excuses when someone extends their hand toward me, expecting a handshake. I'm sure some people thought I was rude.
ReplyDeleteOnce this all blows over, people might think I'm over-cautious but at least they'll have an idea of WHY I'm not shaking their hands.