And who hasn't?…today is your lucky day!
Our favourite French Canadian (Deep Blue Jon) has done some undercover investigative work (disguised as a waiter) and you’ll be surprised at the outcome!
Don’t be fooled by AyeM8y’s long list of gay pursuits, including but not limited to the following:
Sodomy
Fellatio
Anilingus
Pederasty
Masturbation
Auto Erotica
Hot Lunch
Western Grip
Chinese Grip
Blumpkin
Golden Shower
Pearl Necklace
Purple Mushroom
Jelly Doughnut
Woody Woodpecker
Rim Job
Dirty Sanchez
Fish Eye
69
Despite performing all of the above activities (and this is just what went on last night!) our AyeM8y has reportedly been seen batting for the other team!
Deep Blue Jon, in his role as a private dick, has turned over his investigative report to Infomaniac and now we unveil this shocking photograph…
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. What you see before your very eyes is AyeM8y turned GIGOLO!
For LADIES, no less!
Please form an orderly queue and let the arse-munching commence. Or anything else listed on AyeM8y's "menu."
Ha! Little do you know, I'm actually a black widower and shortly after this photo was taken I stabbed her and collected the insurance money.
ReplyDeleteYou can tell by her expression that she was beginning to suspect my treachery.
Times have changed and so have marriage laws in several states. I'm now a happy gay gold digger.
I think I have a new hero.
ReplyDeleteI think I think what LX said.
ReplyDeleteApparently, AyeM8y "sparkles like sunlight on a wave-cap"... Jx
ReplyDeleteOh My! Those French Canadian undercover reporters will do anything for a story... I'll admit though... Huggy Jon gives Norma and Peenee a run for their money wearing that chapeau and "Baiting" costume....
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought Jon-Jon was hibernating for the winter... I guess I'll have to keep my eyes open for a polar bear wearing a chapeau unless I wanna end up featured next!
ReplyDeletesomething tells me this story is flat, like that ginger ale.
ReplyDeleteand yes, we are still reeling over the blumpkin.
ReplyDeleteBlumpkin. I now have to live in a world in which I know that word exists. Blumpkin.
ReplyDeleteAnd all I can say is that I hoped, when you stabbed her, you grabbed that hat on the way out...
...putting the Western Grope on a Reverse Chinese Cowgirl, French Loo Burrito, Multiple Elvis, Beluga Propeller, Flagellation, French Frisk, and Wellington Scheisse? What about the pin-point carbonation? DAMMIT WE NEED VIDEO!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with you easily led blumpkins? I am I the only one who spotted the "Lady" has an adam's apple the size of a croquet ball?
ReplyDeleteJudging by that list, Mr Pirate certainly knows what the explosive formula is...
ReplyDeleteI was going to engage him in some gratuitous flirting, but I don't want to be stabbed... and I'm skint.
Sx
Which one of you Bitches ordered the blumpkin pie?
ReplyDeleteHaving just taken a leap into the world of self-employment, I am too financially challenged to attract our pirate's attentions.
ReplyDeleteMind you, being slaughtered for my money, would be worth it for the experience of biting that arse!
Though I pass at the blumpkin. My thought as always with posts like these: why?
Jezebel!
ReplyDeleteStabbed? I wouldn't fall for this lame trick. If I were you, I'd turned down any drink the Pirate will offer you, especially flat ginger ale!
ReplyDeleteNow it's due time to pick up our shovels and dig through his backyard... God knows what kind of "carbonation" will find buried there. I'm sure he and Crazy Curtis are both accomplice of many frightful crimes... No wonder why they live on the same street.
Hmmm, I'm not so sure about Gigalo, maybe a walker. Seems AyeM8y would fit in perfectly on those cruise ships looking for gentlemen to entertain the ladies. Free cruise, sitting by the pool all day, dancing and dinners. Yes yes it is with pesky women, but think of all the nice crew bored in their tiny beds down in the hold? He could play pirate for real!
ReplyDeleteKellyRed: Now THATS the fantasy scenario I was waiting for!
ReplyDelete'Down in the dim, cramped passageways with the throb of the engine a constant echo of his own rising pulse, Ayem*y stopped at the battered hatch. It was partially open. The thin, smoky angle of light framed a perfect vignette...young Midshipman Tim lying carelessly nude across his bunk in a state of semiarousal, the shadow of his pet albatross louring from the bulkhead above like a forboding love-vulture...