The vodka fountain backed up, but it wasn't my fault, I swear...and peenee broke the new houseboy before I got to play on them...and Mean Dirty Pirate was jumping naked on the couch!
What you mean apart from having to clean up the mess from the backed up vodka fountain and the broken houseboy?
Not a damned thing.
Although, when the vodka fountain was repaired the repairman hooked out an interesting assortment of olives, a sparkly pink thong and a purple studded condom and he looked at me!
He didn't believe me about purple not being my colour and the thong was too big for me damnit.
XL: Curled in the fetal position all weekend, anxiously awaiting the return of The Mistress.
That explains why you weren’t first…you couldn’t unwind yourself from the pretzel position!
NORMADESMOND: didn't you get your mail service back?
That is the subject of my NEXT post, Miss Desmond.
Now you’ve gone and ruined the element of surprise.
Are you back from your hols?
PEENEE: Well, I'm certainly not one to GOSSIP, but I HEARD Stephen Haines Is Stepping Out On Mary. Happy Birthday, Princessa.
I’m firing that manicurist!
ROSES: What you mean apart from having to clean up the mess from the backed up vodka fountain and the broken houseboy? Not a damned thing. Although, when the vodka fountain was repaired the repairman hooked out an interesting assortment of olives, a sparkly pink thong and a purple studded condom and he looked at me! He didn't believe me about purple not being my colour and the thong was too big for me damnit.
Sunday I was invited to a country hike, there is nothing like a ramble across some wild and desolate terrain, hotfooting across the Yorkshire Moors like Roadrunner Beep Beep! Then I had a bit of cock fun amongst the Cow and Calf rocks, it was wonderful.
Nobody tell Mistress about Peenee bobbing in the vodka fountain for olives, putting them on his eyes and shouting "Dig me, I'm Marty Feldman!" I don't think she'd see the humor in it.
MITZI: Sunday I was invited to a country hike, there is nothing like a ramble across some wild and desolate terrain, hotfooting across the Yorkshire Moors like Roadrunner Beep Beep! Then I had a bit of cock fun amongst the Cow and Calf rocks, it was wonderful.
Cow and Calf…isn’t that the name of a pub?
There’s nothing like a little cock and bum fun.
STACIA: Nobody tell Mistress about Peenee bobbing in the vodka fountain for olives, putting them on his eyes and shouting "Dig me, I'm Marty Feldman!" I don't think she'd see the humor in it.
I’m there singing the Bette Davis Eyes parody at him…
She'll scream or mumble at you Repeats everything twice She's got a few loose screws She's got Marty Feldman eyes
A lively weekend in NYC, as I'm sure you've heard.
ReplyDeleteGay Pride celebrated AND same-sex marriage bill passed all in one weekend!
ReplyDeleteOr were you referring to the arrest of Moustache Man?
Oh.. so now you want to know about my Birthday!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness…does someone need a birthday spanking?
ReplyDeleteThe vodka fountain backed up, but it wasn't my fault, I swear...and peenee broke the new houseboy before I got to play on them...and Mean Dirty Pirate was jumping naked on the couch!
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ feels a headache coming on.
ReplyDeleteBring me my fainting chaise.
Curled in the fetal position all weekend, anxiously awaiting the return of The Mistress.
ReplyDeletedidn't you get your mail service back?
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm certainly not one to GOSSIP, but I HEARD Stephen Haines Is Stepping Out On Mary.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Princessa.
What you mean apart from having to clean up the mess from the backed up vodka fountain and the broken houseboy?
ReplyDeleteNot a damned thing.
Although, when the vodka fountain was repaired the repairman hooked out an interesting assortment of olives, a sparkly pink thong and a purple studded condom and he looked at me!
He didn't believe me about purple not being my colour and the thong was too big for me damnit.
XL: Curled in the fetal position all weekend, anxiously awaiting the return of The Mistress.
ReplyDeleteThat explains why you weren’t first…you couldn’t unwind yourself from the pretzel position!
NORMADESMOND: didn't you get your mail service back?
That is the subject of my NEXT post, Miss Desmond.
Now you’ve gone and ruined the element of surprise.
Are you back from your hols?
PEENEE: Well, I'm certainly not one to GOSSIP, but I HEARD Stephen Haines Is Stepping Out On Mary.
Happy Birthday, Princessa.
I’m firing that manicurist!
ROSES: What you mean apart from having to clean up the mess from the backed up vodka fountain and the broken houseboy?
Not a damned thing.
Although, when the vodka fountain was repaired the repairman hooked out an interesting assortment of olives, a sparkly pink thong and a purple studded condom and he looked at me!
He didn't believe me about purple not being my colour and the thong was too big for me damnit.
Are you referring to Beast’s purple Lurex posing pouch?
Like Mr XL, I have been curled in the fetal position... but this has been interspersed with banging my head against a wall.
ReplyDeleteSx
I DO hope you have a padded headboard, Miss Scarlet.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I was publishing a new post at the moment you were typing.
Sunday I was invited to a country hike, there is nothing like a ramble across some wild and desolate terrain, hotfooting across the Yorkshire Moors like Roadrunner Beep Beep! Then I had a bit of cock fun amongst the Cow and Calf rocks, it was wonderful.
ReplyDeleteNobody tell Mistress about Peenee bobbing in the vodka fountain for olives, putting them on his eyes and shouting "Dig me, I'm Marty Feldman!" I don't think she'd see the humor in it.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Sunday I was invited to a country hike, there is nothing like a ramble across some wild and desolate terrain, hotfooting across the Yorkshire Moors like Roadrunner Beep Beep! Then I had a bit of cock fun amongst the Cow and Calf rocks, it was wonderful.
ReplyDeleteCow and Calf…isn’t that the name of a pub?
There’s nothing like a little cock and bum fun.
STACIA: Nobody tell Mistress about Peenee bobbing in the vodka fountain for olives, putting them on his eyes and shouting "Dig me, I'm Marty Feldman!" I don't think she'd see the humor in it.
I’m there singing the Bette Davis Eyes parody at him…
She'll scream or mumble at you
Repeats everything twice
She's got a few loose screws
She's got Marty Feldman eyes
@MITZI: I've just Googled "Cow and Calf Rocks" and found photos!
ReplyDeleteAnother notch in my Education Belt.
I also just Googled "Cow and Calf Rocks" and am greatly disappointed to find that it's just some stupid fucking rocks.
ReplyDeleteXL: You may find Penistone somewhat more interesting.
ReplyDeleteI thought my twirling flaming batons was quite fetch. Sorry about that tablecloth near the vodka fountain though...
ReplyDeleteThere's quite enough flaming around here without your twirling batons, Michael.
ReplyDelete