Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Infomaniac Monthly

Have a peek at one of Ask the Cool Cookie’s other blogs…Periodically Anachronistic: a blog devoted to the idea of time out of mind and the great "what if" of periodicals that never were, but maybe, should have been.

CLICK HERE to see the latest issue of Infomaniac Monthly!

(click image to biggify!)

In Cookie’s words…

The origins of Infomaniac Monthly (The Magazine for Bitches who need to know on a need to know basis) are murky, but coded text, for those who didn’t need to know it was perplexing, to say the least. It’s publisher was a real kitten with a whip who went by the name “Mistress MJ”. Still it was one of the must reads in Ottawa by the territorial government, and Queen Mary found its contents very subversive - yet she claimed she only read it for the coupons.

Every November the magazine held a contest and gave away either a McLaughlin Buick or a Meteor Niagara (later a LeMoyne). You know, those folks in Manitoba really love their LeMoynes. The only time the contest backfired was November of 1959 when the faithful readership almost rioted when the car give-a-way was a basic Frontenac sedan. Really!

Like all trends, the magazine got popular in the lower forty-eight when husband’s began using the excuse that they “had to cross the Ambassador to get a copy of Infomaniac,” when what they were really up to was visiting the titty bars in Windsor for a show and a quickie lap dance before heading home.

It reached its frenzied peak in 1970, when the American talk show (of the same name) was hosted by David Suskind and he invented Maria Muldare to “feltch her violin,” and put on a show for the audience. After that elephant sat down in the living rooms of middle America, you could hear a pin drop. Now the lid was off the box, and Pandora (and society, too) ran amok in its efforts to find a dictionary and look it up. Oddly, there was no definition for the word until a minister's housewife in the Quad Cities caught "feltching that chocolate pudding out of the container" at a church function. How unhygienic is that?

Today, Infomaniac is a blog - electronic media media, they call it. New fangled like dental floss and stuff like that. And at it's essence, its back to being what it was meant to be - the place where Bitches who need to know on a need to know basis find out what it is that they to know.

19 comments:

  1. How many loonies for a subscription?

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  2. It is indeed my pleasure that I was able to pay tribute to the dear Mistress of Infomaniac. ACC

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  3. Ah... Finally a newsletter that I can trust...

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  4. and pretty pictures too. you know kabuki isn't that fond of 'word readin and stuff' but she likes the pretty pictures

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  5. I am not convinced that the Ask Mavis problem page was a good idea

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  6. Cookie does nothing to lessen my crush. Bless.

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  7. XL: How many loonies for a subscription?

    Click to biggify and you’ll see it’s only 5 cents Cdn per month!

    You do the math.

    SAVANNAH: by a minute!

    Le sigh.

    COOKIE: It is indeed my pleasure that I was able to pay tribute to the dear Mistress of Infomaniac. ACC

    I’m still reeling from being offered the Assistant Manager position at The Hair Hall of Fame.

    Now this!

    Periodically Anachronistic is a must-read.

    Clever, creative Cookie.

    PRINCESS: Ah... Finally a newsletter that I can trust...

    Trust that we will never EVER feature advertisements for Crocs!

    KABUKI: and pretty pictures too. you know kabuki isn't that fond of 'word readin and stuff' but she likes the pretty pictures

    Just wait until the kimono issue!

    BEAST: I am not convinced that the Ask Mavis problem page was a good idea

    Particularly the advice on how to shoplift a 72lb frozen turkey between your legs from Tescos.

    CYBERPOOF: Cookie does nothing to lessen my crush. Bless.

    Have you gone off Donn or are you just spreading yourself around?

    And why do you always fall for the married ones?

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  8. Can we not put in an advert to ask for a vodka fountain repairman (or two, we need a spare)?

    I see Frank's Bar is getting a reputation.

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  9. I need to know the recipe for the Kipper Surprise. [And can I substitute the kipper for a fish finger?].
    Sx

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  10. Now that Infomaniac has been brought kicking and screaming into the 21st Century and transferred to electronic media, will the car giveaways feature newer cars?
    Not that I'm unhappy with Car, I just want to annoy the neighbours with my selection!

    How cleverly creative of Cookie to reproduce this back issue of Infomaniac. I must see what other delights he has to offer.

    * avoids 'Petra in case he thinks I'm moving in on his man *

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  11. ROSES: Can we not put in an advert to ask for a vodka fountain repairman (or two, we need a spare)?
    I see Frank's Bar is getting a reputation.


    And WHY do we need a spare, Miss Roses?

    Why, one ponders, is the vodka fountain in need of repair?

    Mistress MJ would ask you to examine your little drinking problem for the answer.

    SCARLET: I need to know the recipe for the Kipper Surprise. [And can I substitute the kipper for a fish finger?].

    You’re getting ahead of us, Miss Scarlet.

    All will be revealed in the next exciting issue of Infomaniac Monthly.

    Along with CAKE recipes!

    IVD: Now that Infomaniac has been brought kicking and screaming into the 21st Century and transferred to electronic media, will the car giveaways feature newer cars?
    Not that I'm unhappy with Car, I just want to annoy the neighbours with my selection!
    How cleverly creative of Cookie to reproduce this back issue of Infomaniac. I must see what other delights he has to offer.
    * avoids 'Petra in case he thinks I'm moving in on his man *


    Let’s turn that question about car selection over to the editor/publisher, Mr. Cookie.

    Hello?...Mr. Cookie?

    And for heaven’s sake…there is to be no quibbling over who gets to fondle Mr. Cookie’s bottom.

    We do not want the Cookie to crumble.

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  12. "And why do you always fall for the married ones?"

    Been asking myself that for years! Married guys and straight guys. I have a baaaad track record.

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  13. Cyberpete, that's why we're friends. I have exactly that same problem. As well as the one about shagging the boss.

    As for the vodka fountain, I'm not taking the blame for that. Cyberpete has been plying me with champagne on a regular basis, so I reckon the fountain isn't getting as much use.

    OMG, it's becoming a virgin again. It's healing up!

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  14. I never shagged the boss, but many years ago I shagged the principle. It was 10th grade and it got me out of a hideous camping trip with my classmates. It wasn't pretty but it was a total win.

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  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. Reporting in! News in the blog-o-sphere! The Vodka fountain is now spewing Whiskey everywhere, the house boys are still attempting to haggle the repairmen price!

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  17. kipper surprise an ideal fishy winter warmer.

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  18. CYBERPOOF & ROSES: Chatterchatterchatterchatter.

    See my comment to Manda.

    MANDA: Reporting in! News in the blog-o-sphere! The Vodka fountain is now spewing Whiskey everywhere, the house boys are still attempting to haggle the repairmen price!

    Yay! Now let’s TRY to keep CyberPete and Roses away from it so it won’t break down again.

    MITZI: kipper surprise an ideal fishy winter warmer.

    Does it warm your cockles?

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