(click to enlarge)
[via]
Source: How to Find Your Man by Joe Bonomo, 1954
• Do you remember daintiness, at all times?
• Can you wear slacks or shorts and still be girlish . . . and do you avoid them otherwise?
• When you're dressing for an evening date, do you avoid mannish suits?
• Do you always remember that white gloves, or a white collar, should be spotless?
• Do you take the time to use a drop of perfume . . . to put on a piece of jewelry. . . Not too much of it, please!
• Do you watch your posture . . . never sprawling or slouching?
• Do you remember not to stride . . . to walk with a spring that looks as if you like to dance?
• Do you watch the way you use your voice in conversation?
You've a good start if you can answer 'yes' to these! An even better start if that's every day. . . not just when you have a date. Remember, you never can tell who's looking!
1st
ReplyDeleteyes, no, what's a date?, yes, yes, yes, no, no
I can look gurlish in shorts even when me nuts are hanging out, its a gift.
ReplyDeleteDo you watch the way you use your voice in conversation?
ReplyDeleteNot exactly, but i watch the way i use my cock in conversation, does that count?
I remember daintiness every fucking minute of the goddam day. What's it to you, bitch?
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought I was feminine only to be told recently that I aint no lady. Apparently I like to stride and sprawl too much.
ReplyDeletereally?
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxox
So now you tell me. Seems I've been wearing mannish suits for my evening dates. And forgetting my gloves. No wonder I can't get laid.
ReplyDeleteOf course.
ReplyDeleteExcept for Monday morning which I spent naked, on my kitchen floor on my back.
XL: yes, no, what's a date?, yes, yes, yes, no, no
ReplyDeleteIf you have to ask what a date is, then perhaps it’s time we set you up with our Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.
OLD KNUDSEN: I can look gurlish in shorts even when me nuts are hanging out, its a gift.
Too bad the ladders in your stockings make you look sluttish.
NORMADESMOND: Do you watch the way you use your voice in conversation?
Not exactly, but i watch the way i use my cock in conversation, does that count?
We want to hear it sing Allegheny Moon.
PEENEE: I remember daintiness every fucking minute of the goddam day. What's it to you, bitch?
Yes but are you pristine?
AYEM8Y: And I thought I was feminine only to be told recently that I aint no lady. Apparently I like to stride and sprawl too much.
Then get busy and spread ‘em for your next Mr. Nude Infomaniac photo shoot.
SAVANNAH: really?
Just answer the questions, Miss Savannah.
Is it too much to ask?
JASON: So now you tell me. Seems I've been wearing mannish suits for my evening dates. And forgetting my gloves. No wonder I can't get laid.
How can you expect a man to respect you otherwise?
CYBERPOOF: Of course.
Except for Monday morning which I spent naked, on my kitchen floor on my back.
You could at least have taken the time to use a drop of perfume . . . and to put on a piece of jewelry.
Wasn’t your tiara close at hand?
Funny you should ask. A couple of years ago I took the BBC brain sex quiz and discovered that my brain was neither overly female or male - I was slap bang in the middle. I thought it was a fluke so I took the test the other day, just to check... and I was still slap bang in the middle.
ReplyDeleteSx
I consider myself to be rather feminine and dainty though.
...forgot to tick the box...
ReplyDeleteSx
According to Miss Scarlet's test, I am marginally male.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think the test is culturally biased as it asked me to measure my fingers in mm.
I took the same BBC brain sex quiz (as opposed to the S&M sex on the brain jizz) as Scarlet. It said I was 50% female.
ReplyDeleteIt also mentioned as an aside 50% of men are 50% female and 50% of women are 50% male. Eventually they might realise this shows what a crock of shit the whole brains sex thing is.
But in the meantime, I'm approximately as dainty as a concrete jockstrap. With the studs on the inside.
SCARLET: Funny you should ask. A couple of years ago I took the BBC brain sex quiz and discovered that my brain was neither overly female or male - I was slap bang in the middle. I thought it was a fluke so I took the test the other day, just to check... and I was still slap bang in the middle.
ReplyDeleteSx
I consider myself to be rather feminine and dainty though.
I would tend to agree that you are indeed rather feminine and dainty.
That is until I read your next comment.
SCARLET: ...forgot to tick the box...
Ticking one’s box is not very ladylike, Miss Scarlet.
XL: According to Miss Scarlet's test, I am marginally male.
However, I think the test is culturally biased as it asked me to measure my fingers in mm.
How big are your feet?
That will save us a lot of time trying to do the math.
KAPI: I took the same BBC brain sex quiz (as opposed to the S&M sex on the brain jizz) as Scarlet. It said I was 50% female.
It also mentioned as an aside 50% of men are 50% female and 50% of women are 50% male. Eventually they might realise this shows what a crock of shit the whole brains sex thing is.
But in the meantime, I'm approximately as dainty as a concrete jockstrap. With the studs on the inside.
How does one wash a concrete jockstrap?
Do you just hose it down?
"...And do you remember to douche with anti-septic Lysol brand disinfectant? Remember, only Lysol can reach into all the folds and crevices where odor can hide. Won't harm delicate tissues. Remember, Lysol in douche helps you avoid unpleasant odors that can offend - that drive men into the arms of other woman who know this secret."
ReplyDeleteASK THE COOL COOKIE: "...And do you remember to douche with anti-septic Lysol brand disinfectant? Remember, only Lysol can reach into all the folds and crevices where odor can hide. Won't harm delicate tissues. Remember, Lysol in douche helps you avoid unpleasant odors that can offend - that drive men into the arms of other woman who know this secret."
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ is not guilty of intimate neglect.
I have the posture of a gorilla, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteI wear mannish suits, slouch and wear perfume [TOM FORD/Black Orchid.]
ReplyDeleteNone of which is working for me...
GEOFF: I have the posture of a gorilla, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteDragging your knuckles on the ground is not very ladylike.
MICHAEL GUY: I wear mannish suits, slouch and wear perfume [TOM FORD/Black Orchid.]
None of which is working for me...
And yet I can picture you wearing Tom Ford himself…on your face!
* brushes down crinolines and smiles demurely *
ReplyDeleteWhy, of course I'm feminine! I'm practically a Stepford Wife, rememb-
Shit! Beaky, you little fuck! Get off the washing line, you're crapping down my clean trunks! Gerroutofityerbastard!
Oh MJ, did I come in at the wrong time?
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, nothing was within arms reach. Not even my fabulous mask from the mask ball at Palais de Steff.
ReplyDeleteAccording to the BBC brain sex quiz I'm 25% male. You live and learn.
Okay. I took the BBC sex test too. Similarly I got the '50% female' end result.
ReplyDeleteI think the entire thing is rigged and if you disagree I'll hit you with my purse...
The answer to all of the above would be fuck no.
ReplyDeleteAlso- OMG- Michael Guy and I wear the same perfume!
According to the BBC test, I would be around 25% female. According o this perhaps I'm Leno instead of Leni.
ReplyDeleteBut I promise you I take the time to use a drop of perfume!
IVD: * brushes down crinolines and smiles demurely *
ReplyDeleteWhy, of course I'm feminine! I'm practically a Stepford Wife, rememb-
Shit! Beaky, you little fuck! Get off the washing line, you're crapping down my clean trunks! Gerroutofityerbastard!
You’re the Suzy Homemaker of Norfolk and would make any man a fine wife.
WW: Oh MJ, did I come in at the wrong time?
I’ll say!
CYBERPOOF: To answer your question, nothing was within arms reach. Not even my fabulous mask from the mask ball at Palais de Steff.
According to the BBC brain sex quiz I'm 25% male. You live and learn.
25% male?
I’m surprised it’s that high.
MICHAEL GUY: Okay. I took the BBC sex test too. Similarly I got the '50% female' end result.
I think the entire thing is rigged and if you disagree I'll hit you with my purse...
50% female?
Which parts?
MARISHA: The answer to all of the above would be fuck no.
Also- OMG- Michael Guy and I wear the same perfume!
Michael Guy is more of a lady than you are, let’s face it.
LENI: According to the BBC test, I would be around 25% female. According o this perhaps I'm Leno instead of Leni.
But I promise you I take the time to use a drop of perfume!
You have to dab on a drop of perfume when you visit here in order to cover up the stench from some of the others such as Beast, who is too ill to blog so he won’t see this which makes saying it even sweeter.
BBC says I am 25% woman.
ReplyDeleteMy suits are not particularly mannish, but my fedoras are... and I shall never give up my stride!
ReplyDeleteI took the brain test too, couldn't make head nor tail of it, so I guess I have a 100% female brain.
ReplyDelete