Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Discombobulated

Mistress MJ finds herself a wee bit discombobulated following the loss of Mr. Mutley.

As a result, she is having her head rejigged in an effort to restore her blogging mojo…



I hope to catch up with all of you soon as I haven’t been visiting your blogs.

In the meantime, I’m having a few much needed laughs reading Mr. Mutley’s Twitter page.

I’m not a Twitterer (Tweeter? Twat?) so until today, I’d taken no notice of it.

Examples of Mutley’s Tweets are as follows (in no particular order)…

Does anyone fancy a shag or is it just me?

I am off for a w@@nk!

I have found a spot on my left buttock...

I have caught my 'sausage' in a mangle....

I have just been for a crap and there was no loo roll - can someone please loan me some...?

Does anyone else have trouble with toilet seats or is it just me?

Complained about hotel noise for the first time ever - am I getting old?

I am worried about my toenails - how long should they be?

Invention of bear toilet causes loss of popular phrase.

wEARING A HAT!

Off to Aldi for some 'Vanilla Cushions' breakfast cereal!

I have socks! Yaaaay!

Does anyone have a tissue?

I am twittering my vasectomy... preparing for surgery right now... shaved.

If anyone ever told the truth all these posts would say 'sitting at my PC....'

Twitter keeps asking me what I am doing... its really annoying!

Twitter is crap aint it?

34 comments:

  1. A virtual hug for Mistress from MDP

    There must be some cosmic funk going round cause everybody has the blog blahs.

    FIRST!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AYEM8Y: Mistress MJ is copping a feel of your comely arse while you’re hugging me.

    I feel a little better already.

    All male Infomaniac readers should let me fondle their arses to restore my blog blahs.

    Say “blog blahs” three times quickly. Teehee.

    This also works well with the name “Bob Loblaw” … say it 3 times in a row fast!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing like good head service to restore one's mojo.

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  4. I was going to mention his series of vasectomy tweets in case they weren't listed!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Small world, Bob Loblaw is my lawyer too :)

    I know how you feel, the suddeness and incomprehensibilty of it all is very troubling. When you're out here, and you know this crap will be floating in the ether forever..or until Skynet takes over...you can't help but feel a little bit immortal.

    Mutley's exit is a painful reminder that the only constant is change...and he had Twitter nailed..140 characters just begs for short bursts of innocuous wordage. Funny guy.

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  6. He was a very funny man...

    Big hugs to you Dear Mistress

    Now where the hell am I going to order my take away chinese?...

    ReplyDelete
  7. EROS: Nothing like good head service to restore one's mojo.

    I would feel a lot better if you would take off your shirt.

    XL: I was going to mention his series of vasectomy tweets in case they weren't listed!

    Yes, the tweets continue by saying …

    “testis now swollen to size of cricket balls, agonising pain”

    And …

    “AAAAAaaaaAAAAaa AAAAaaaaaAAAAA AAAaaaaaaaGGggggGGGg HHHHHH!”


    DONN: Small world, Bob Loblaw is my lawyer too :)
    I know how you feel, the suddeness and incomprehensibilty of it all is very troubling. When you're out here, and you know this crap will be floating in the ether forever..or until Skynet takes over...you can't help but feel a little bit immortal.
    Mutley's exit is a painful reminder that the only constant is change...and he had Twitter nailed..140 characters just begs for short bursts of innocuous wordage. Funny guy.


    Mutley is still making me laugh and I’m so glad we have a record of his ramblings.

    I know of your on/off affair with Facebook but do you also have a Twatter page?

    May I fondle your arse, Donn?

    PRINCESS: He was a very funny man...
    Big hugs to you Dear Mistress
    Now where the hell am I going to order my take away chinese?...


    Have you tried The House of Khong?

    ReplyDelete
  8. There is a twatter.com page too, did you know?

    ReplyDelete
  9. ***does exotic dance to restore Miss MJ's Mojo***

    ***trips on python and breaks the nik naks on Miss MJ's artfully placed side table***

    ReplyDelete
  10. *fabrezes in the wake of Mr Beastie's antics*
    *wipes greasey buttock imprints from windows*
    *plumps pillows as Mr XL has forgotten his duties*
    *Looks through beauty handbook for a soothing therapy for Mistress MJ*
    *Has a giggle over Mr Mutley's twitters*
    Sxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. *wipes tear from eye from laughing at the vasectomy tweets*

    He was something, wasn't he?

    Have a virtual hug...

    and no, I don't mind if you cope a feelie of my butt. I won't tell...actually, yeah I will but I will obviously embelish the story so you aren't recognised.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Those tweets are precious :)

    Slave wishes he had have known Mr Mutley better :(

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  13. hugs for you, sugar.xoxoxoxo

    *quietly leaving a bottle of baileys on the table*

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have Infomaniac-related business to attend to at mine...

    ReplyDelete
  15. CYBERPOOF: There is a twatter.com page too, did you know?

    No, I didn’t know but having looked at it, it appears to be populated by people speaking Bahasa.

    BEAST: ***does exotic dance to restore Miss MJ's Mojo***
    ***trips on python and breaks the nik naks on Miss MJ's artfully placed side table***


    Oh for heaven’s sake.

    Get those tassels off your nipples and put those ping pong balls down before you hurt somebody.

    SCARLET: *fabrezes in the wake of Mr Beastie's antics*
    *wipes greasey buttock imprints from windows*
    *plumps pillows as Mr XL has forgotten his duties*
    *Looks through beauty handbook for a soothing therapy for Mistress MJ*
    *Has a giggle over Mr Mutley's twitters*


    Not only was XL not first, he forgot his pillow-fluffing duties!

    Do you suppose he’s coming down with the MANFLU?

    Have you recuperated from the Infomaniac House of Beauty versus the Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium scandal?

    ROSES: *wipes tear from eye from laughing at the vasectomy tweets*
    He was something, wasn't he?
    Have a virtual hug...
    and no, I don't mind if you cope a feelie of my butt. I won't tell...actually, yeah I will but I will obviously embelish the story so you aren't recognised.


    I specifically asked to grope the MALE members of Infomaniac, Miss Roses.

    Thank you for your kind gesture, nonetheless.

    DAMIEN: Those tweets are precious :)
    Slave wishes he had have known Mr Mutley better :(


    Thankfully, we have his writings to look back on.

    You can get a good idea of his personality through those.

    LULU: sweet tweets, funny man RIP

    I feel ridiculous saying the word “tweets” but you make it sound palatable.

    SAVANNAH: hugs for you, sugar.xoxoxoxo
    *quietly leaving a bottle of baileys on the table*


    OH THANK YOU!

    Booze I can use.

    MAGO: mojo working ...

    Muddy Waters is a fave of Mistress MJ.

    She is particularly fond of this rendition of Mean Mannish Boy backed up by The Band.

    XL: You have Infomaniac-related business to attend to at mine...

    I can’t imagine what you mean but I’ll be over later.

    I have a feeling it’s related to that Unique Stephen fellow who visited my Bed Hopping post.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I feel a bit mean because Mr XL has actually surpassed himself with his pillow plumping... so I apologise for my earlier coment.
    As for Mr Pirate... I'm ready for anything he's got to throw at me... hopefully, chocolate eclairs.
    Sx

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  17. Oh dear, I am just reading this sad news. Thanks for posting his truly hilarious tweets. Hugs for Mistress.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  18. MJ “Have you recuperated from the Infomaniac House of Beauty versus the Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium scandal?”

    How could she recuperate when there hasn’t been a verdict rendered in the case yet?

    Scarlet “As for Mr Pirate... I'm ready for anything he's got to throw at me... hopefully, chocolate eclairs.”

    “Mmm...Chocolate Eclairs...Court is now in recess and will resume after a Chocolate Eclair break...Court Dismissed!”

    ReplyDelete
  19. SCARLET: I feel a bit mean because Mr XL has actually surpassed himself with his pillow plumping... so I apologise for my earlier coment.
    As for Mr Pirate... I'm ready for anything he's got to throw at me... hopefully, chocolate eclairs.


    Mistress MJ just read XL’s latest post and is impressed by his outstanding dedication to my comfort.

    I could not ask for a more skilled and loyal Official Pillow Fluffer.

    XL, you have the day off as your reward!

    And help yourself to the elairs being bandied about by Ayem8y.

    It is entirely possible that Ayem8y might throw his butt bra at you, Miss Scarlet.

    He uses his thong as a slingshot too.

    LEAH: Oh dear, I am just reading this sad news. Thanks for posting his truly hilarious tweets. Hugs for Mistress.

    Thank you, Miss Leah.

    Everytime I read his posts and comments I get the giggles.

    AYEM8Y: MJ “Have you recuperated from the Infomaniac House of Beauty versus the Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium scandal?”
    How could she recuperate when there hasn’t been a verdict rendered in the case yet?

    Scarlet “As for Mr Pirate... I'm ready for anything he's got to throw at me... hopefully, chocolate eclairs.”
    “Mmm...Chocolate Eclairs...Court is now in recess and will resume after a Chocolate Eclair break...Court Dismissed!”


    Hasn’t this case been dragged through the courts long enough?!

    *faints onto one of my new pillows, thoughtfully provided by XL*

    ReplyDelete
  20. You have gone to a reputable discombobulator, haven't you? Just be sure to get your nead put back on the right way round when they're done!

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  21. IVD: You have gone to a reputable discombobulator, haven't you? Just be sure to get your nead put back on the right way round when they're done!

    I think there is a screw loose.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Bahasa? Where (besides twatter.com) do they speak bahasa?

    ReplyDelete
  23. CYBERPOOF: Bahasa? Where (besides twatter.com) do they speak bahasa?

    Indonesia.

    Does IVD speak Klingon?

    I only ask because he reads all those Star Trek novels.

    ReplyDelete
  24. How come I only see tweets from people trying to sell me stuff? I must ensure to tell people when I'm off to test my vibrators in future. Twitter needs livening up in memory of Mr Mutley!

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  25. I'm going to have a vasectomy just so I can Toot it.

    Yes, I've decided the verb of Twitter is Toot.

    And I'm setting up a Webl to promote the word.

    ReplyDelete
  26. PS. tlhingan-Hol? ghwe'cha', maj'a!

    (It's actually easier than Indonesian. And yes, I have books on both.)

    ReplyDelete
  27. I got me some blog blah, too and would feel worse if I had to "tweet" about it.

    *passes MJ the vodka bottle*

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think it's just geek. Is Klingon really just a rural dialect of geek?

    ReplyDelete
  29. JOANNA CAKE: How come I only see tweets from people trying to sell me stuff? I must ensure to tell people when I'm off to test my vibrators in future. Twitter needs livening up in memory of Mr Mutley!

    Be sure to include sound effects!

    KAPI: I'm going to have a vasectomy just so I can Toot it.
    Yes, I've decided the verb of Twitter is Toot.
    And I'm setting up a Webl to promote the word.


    Women the world over are breathing a sigh of relief.

    KAPI: PS. tlhingan-Hol? ghwe'cha', maj'a!
    (It's actually easier than Indonesian. And yes, I have books on both.)


    For a moment I forgot that you speak fluent Esperanto as well.

    BOXER: I got me some blog blah, too and would feel worse if I had to "tweet" about it.
    *passes MJ the vodka bottle*


    Shall we hook you up to the vodka fountain?

    CYBERPOOF: I think it's just geek. Is Klingon really just a rural dialect of geek?

    Don’t ask me! Ask Kapi.

    He knows lots of … STUFF!

    ReplyDelete
  30. No, I don't speak Klingon, but I can get by in Vulcan: IDV dweemish. Koopst du reeban?

    I doubt that the spelling is correct, but that's the gist.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I only speak Street:
    Was glotzt Du, ey!?

    ReplyDelete
  32. IVD: No, I don't speak Klingon, but I can get by in Vulcan: IDV dweemish. Koopst du reeban?
    I doubt that the spelling is correct, but that's the gist.


    Are you saying you’re dweemish?

    Or dweebish?

    MAGO: I only speak Street:
    Was glotzt Du, ey!?


    Got im himmel.

    ReplyDelete