[photo via Kevin]
Beast wins the Pee Book entitled What’s My Pee Telling Me? We’ll be expecting a book report, Beast.
Miss Scarlet wins the consolation prize: A pack of Tena Lady pads …
Well done, all of you! Thank you for your participation.
Here’s something interesting I learned from reading What’s My Pee Telling Me? As you know, the book also covers information about poo and farts so we’re veering off the pee topic for a moment.
DID YOU KNOW?
An Australian study found that men fart an average of fifteen times a day while women let loose a mere eight times a day. The study also concluded, however, that women’s farts had higher sulfide content and smelled worse. Their scientific method? Subjects farted ito an aluminum bag. The gas was then removed with a syringe and expelled into the nostrils of eagerly awaiting judges.
WOOHOO! Well done Beast!
ReplyDeleteAnd that bit about womens farts at the end...I didn't have my reading specs on and thought it said "...women's farts had higher suicide content...", lol!
Mistress, I am feeling "drained" following this campaign. It seems like it just "whizzed" by. I am also a little "pissed" as my vote "flushed" down the toilet.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it's the diuretic talking.
Congratulations, Beast!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd Well done, Scarlet B!!!
Congratulations Mr Beast.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to console Miss Scarlet now
yes, congrats to the winner. do let us know the exact dewey decimal number of the prize. i've got my local library on hold.....
ReplyDeleteHighly irregular! The horror!
ReplyDeleteMiss Scarlet was robbed. Robbed. ROBBED!
I'm sure Beastie would have more use of the pads.
PS. MJ, have you used that photo before. It looks familiar and I can't think of anywhere else I would have encountered it.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks to the Infomaniac readers , I shall read the book and then mail onto Miss Scarlet as concolation for putting up a valiant campaign , I am hoping Miss MJ doesnt fart in the package before she seals it
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping she does.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Beast. Enjoy your winnings.
ReplyDeleteCyberpete, the first pic was from a FF. If I remember correctly you made a rather scathing fashion critique of both his clothes and decore.
*heads off to take Ms Scarlet a bottle of wine as comfort*
*wonders if she'll be as dexterous an MJ with a wine bottle - even though I can't imagine it's at all comfortable*
ReplyDeletean MJ? I meant 'as MJ'.
ReplyDeleteShite.
Actually, I wonder what actions I can think up and coin the phrase 'Doing an MJ'?
Many thanks to the Infomaniac readers, I shall use the Tena Lady pads and then mail onto Mr Beastie when I have finished with them. It only seems fair.
ReplyDeleteSx
[only slightly huffy]
MisS carlet, just think, if you hadn't been underhanded and unscrupulous in the first place it could have been you on that podium, lol!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Beast!
ReplyDeleteAnd to Scarlet Blue, winner of the hearts. Now lets book this fat little singer ...
The exchange of prizes is an excellent way to go. Will you be asking us to send in our foil-wrapped farts next MJ?
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the Beast. I think I voted at the wrong blog, but oh well.
ReplyDeleteMOB: WOOHOO! Well done Beast!
ReplyDeleteAnd that bit about womens farts at the end...I didn't have my reading specs on and thought it said "...women's farts had higher suicide content...", lol!
They are weapons of mass destruction.
XL: Mistress, I am feeling "drained" following this campaign. It seems like it just "whizzed" by. I am also a little "pissed" as my vote "flushed" down the toilet.
Or maybe it's the diuretic talking.
We would like to give honourable mention to your contribution to the contest as follows:
“It would be #1 in my book collection.”
EROS: Congratulations, Beast!!!
And Well done, Scarlet B!!!
Yay!
PRINCESS: Congratulations Mr Beast.
I'm off to console Miss Scarlet now
And how do you intend to do that?
NORMADESMOND: yes, congrats to the winner. do let us know the exact dewey decimal number of the prize. i've got my local library on hold.....
612.461 Ri
CYBERPOOF: Highly irregular! The horror!
Miss Scarlet was robbed. Robbed. ROBBED!
I'm sure Beastie would have more use of the pads.
PS. MJ, have you used that photo before. It looks familiar and I can't think of anywhere else I would have encountered it.
As Roses noted, I used it before on a Filthy Friday.
September 18, 2009 to be exact.
For today’s post I needed an image to represent Beast (he refused to send me an actual photo depicting him in mid-stream) so I was forced, in a pinch, to find something that most resembled him.
BEAST: Many thanks to the Infomaniac readers , I shall read the book and then mail onto Miss Scarlet as concolation for putting up a valiant campaign , I am hoping Miss MJ doesnt fart in the package before she seals it
Damn! You’ve seen through my cunning plan!
PIGGY: I'm hoping she does.
I will.
And I might rub it vigorously all over my body as an extra treat for Beast.
ROSES: Congratulations Beast. Enjoy your winnings.
Cyberpete, the first pic was from a FF. If I remember correctly you made a rather scathing fashion critique of both his clothes and decore.
*heads off to take Ms Scarlet a bottle of wine as comfort*
That was the day CyberPete got drunk on gin martinis.
PIGGY: *wonders if she'll be as dexterous an MJ with a wine bottle - even though I can't imagine it's at all comfortable*
an MJ? I meant 'as MJ'.
Shite.
Actually, I wonder what actions I can think up and coin the phrase 'Doing an MJ'?
Well? We’re waiting.
SCARLET: Many thanks to the Infomaniac readers, I shall use the Tena Lady pads and then mail onto Mr Beastie when I have finished with them. It only seems fair.
Sx
[only slightly huffy]
Beast stuffs his underpants with ShamWows.
MOB: MisS carlet, just think, if you hadn't been underhanded and unscrupulous in the first place it could have been you on that podium, lol!
There is no need to rub salt into the wound, Mr. Mob.
And when are you going to resume using your real name, one wonders?
Miss Scarlet cleverly saw through your disguise and exposed you.
MAGO: Congratulations to Beast!
And to Scarlet Blue, winner of the hearts. Now lets book this fat little singer ...
What singer?
Did I miss something?
LULU: The exchange of prizes is an excellent way to go. Will you be asking us to send in our foil-wrapped farts next MJ?
Capital idea, Miss Lulu!
Will you be first?
BOXER: Congrats to the Beast. I think I voted at the wrong blog, but oh well.
I know how badly you wanted that book.
I wonder if the Elliott Bay Book Company stocks it.
I heard they’re moving to a new location so maybe they’re having a blow-out sale.
Sorry, I am confused. KAZ in December posted a video of that cheesy Elton John I was referring to.
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ said: There is no need to rub salt into the wound, Mr. Mob.
ReplyDeleteAnd when are you going to resume using your real name, one wonders?
Miss Scarlet cleverly saw through your disguise and exposed you.
Oh but I must. There's nothing quite like behaving in the manner of a chimpanzee and throwing crap at people, especially when they were quite happy to dish it out themselves, lol!
But, my real name? Tim Nice But Dim? Ginro? Leod...hang on I'd better stop there or I might reveal just a little too much. I am a man of many guises and must conceal my identity from those that are out to try and get me. Plus it comes in handy when occasions like yesterday are called for.
That Miss Scarlet, she has a canny eye and an attention for detail, it is little surprise that she knew exactly who Mob is. I bet no one else knows though *phew!*
I do hope that Anal Retentive doesn't come back though. My stomach has only just settled down.
I think Scarlet was a very gracious loser. I'm sure she'll get her own back somehow for that awful prize.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Beast! Miss Scarlet deserves some kudos since somehow she persuaded all of Italy to vote for her. Wonder what did the trick? *mind wanders to a very naughty place*
ReplyDeleteSomething smells bad in here...
Something smells bad in here...
ReplyDeleteYes, it's called 'Beast'.
MAGO: Sorry, I am confused. KAZ in December posted a video of that cheesy Elton John I was referring to.
ReplyDeleteDecember?
Mistress MJ can barely remember what happened earlier this week let alone in December!
MOB: Mistress MJ said: There is no need to rub salt into the wound, Mr. Mob.
And when are you going to resume using your real name, one wonders?
Miss Scarlet cleverly saw through your disguise and exposed you.
Oh but I must. There's nothing quite like behaving in the manner of a chimpanzee and throwing crap at people, especially when they were quite happy to dish it out themselves, lol!
But, my real name? Tim Nice But Dim? Ginro? Leod...hang on I'd better stop there or I might reveal just a little too much. I am a man of many guises and must conceal my identity from those that are out to try and get me. Plus it comes in handy when occasions like yesterday are called for.
That Miss Scarlet, she has a canny eye and an attention for detail, it is little surprise that she knew exactly who Mob is. I bet no one else knows though *phew!*
I do hope that Anal Retentive doesn't come back though. My stomach has only just settled down.
Anal Retentive is such a flirt.
He was winking at me!
KAZ: I think Scarlet was a very gracious loser. I'm sure she'll get her own back somehow for that awful prize.
It’s a perfectly good prize, KAZ.
Have you actually PRICED a box of Tena Pads lately?
RANDOM: Congratulations Beast! Miss Scarlet deserves some kudos since somehow she persuaded all of Italy to vote for her. Wonder what did the trick? *mind wanders to a very naughty place*
Something smells bad in here...
See comment from Piggy, below.
PIGGY: Something smells bad in here...
Yes, it's called 'Beast'.
What do you suppose creates that aura of stench around Beast?
His diet?
Or simply the fact that he doesn’t bathe?
Or wipe.
Or all of the above?
ReplyDeletePIGGY: Or all of the above?
ReplyDeleteYou would think that Mr. Frobisher would take Beast aside from time to time and give him a good hosing down.
A power wash would work wonders.
And didn’t Ma Beastie teach him how to wash under his mud flap?
She probably did teach him to wash under his mud flap.
ReplyDeleteSadly, he's no longer able to reach it.
Sad for him. Amusing for us.
PIGGY: She probably did teach him to wash under his mud flap.
ReplyDeleteSadly, he's no longer able to reach it.
Sad for him. Amusing for us.
Have you been to Beast’s blog lately?
He has something called The Love Mitten which he uses for washing up in the Caff.
I suggest he try scrubbing himself with it for a change.
Huzzah Beast! I shall count your victory as my own, as all men-folk should. While gender is on the table - why would the aussies need a scientific study to know women can peel the paint off the walls with their gaseous expulsions. I knew by the third grade. Nobody pushed Susie down and sat on her. Ever. Yes, we lost a few boys finding that out. They were happy to give their very lives to the cause of maleness. Plus - third grade boys are not all that bright. That is why they are not allowed in the kabuki home. They patrol the battlements, ever vigilant against beavers. And Susie.
ReplyDeleteKABUKI: Huzzah Beast! I shall count your victory as my own, as all men-folk should. While gender is on the table - why would the aussies need a scientific study to know women can peel the paint off the walls with their gaseous expulsions. I knew by the third grade. Nobody pushed Susie down and sat on her. Ever. Yes, we lost a few boys finding that out. They were happy to give their very lives to the cause of maleness. Plus - third grade boys are not all that bright. That is why they are not allowed in the kabuki home. They patrol the battlements, ever vigilant against beavers. And Susie.
ReplyDeleteI shall wear my charcoal-filtered panties when I visit the kabuki castle.
"MJ said: Anal Retentive is such a flirt. He was winking at me!"
ReplyDeleteYou had a narrow escape. He stuck his tongue out at me :-s
Roses, that does sound like something I would do.
ReplyDeleteMJ, that does seem a rather unfair comparison, isn't Beastie a ginger?
MOB: "MJ said: Anal Retentive is such a flirt. He was winking at me!"
ReplyDeleteYou had a narrow escape. He stuck his tongue out at me :-s
Perhaps he was trying to French kiss you.
CYBERPOOF: Roses, that does sound like something I would do.
MJ, that does seem a rather unfair comparison, isn't Beastie a ginger?
You’re thinking of Miss Scarlet.
meh....but fair enough....but still, meh
ReplyDeleteEEEUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteisn't Beastie a ginger?
ReplyDeleteWhere did that come from
I am blonde
Of the corn coloured variety , non of this 'Oh I am a strawberry blonde <<<< instant translation Ronald Mc D >>>>
***Flicks flaxen hair and departs***
MANUEL: meh....but fair enough....but still, meh
ReplyDeleteStill, you have the victory of the Poo Book.
No one can take that away.
MOB: EEEUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard you after the first three EEEs.
BEAST: Where did that come from
I am blonde
Of the corn coloured variety , non of this 'Oh I am a strawberry blonde <<<< instant translation Ronald Mc D >>>>
***Flicks flaxen hair and departs***
Princess has a photo of you in red fishnets on her blog.
Wow! congratulations Beast! Who's a lucky boy? Beast is, thats who! now you can show off your shiny new pee book to all your little friends! do they have a shiny new pee book? no they do not! and look! a canadian postmark!
ReplyDeleteEveryone: *oooooooooooooooooo.*
BEAST: Wow! congratulations Beast! Who's a lucky boy? Beast is, thats who! now you can show off your shiny new pee book to all your little friends! do they have a shiny
ReplyDeletenew pee book? no they do not! and look! a canadian postmark!
Everyone: *oooooooooooooooooo.*
He had better appreciate it as the price of a stamp went up here on Monday.
Dear MJ,
ReplyDeleteI am very profficient in "consloling the inconsoleable"
And see Miss Scartlet as a challenge to my skills and wyly ways.
I thought I would start with some "Geshtalt" asking her what it feels like to "Be" the "Teena Pad".
Allowing her to expolre some deepseated feelings, and enabling her to freely express them...
Failing that some Behavioural Modification may be required... Slapping her with wet "Teena Pads" might just be the trick!
congratulations, beast...even though i forgot to vote xoxoxo
ReplyDelete