Actual quote from Ms. Nations’ blog: “WORSHIP MY MIND BOGGLING ABILITY TO MAKE PLANTS GROW! MUAHAHAHAHA!”
Yes, Ms. Nations is a goddess of the garden and is the author of the best-selling “Creating a Backyard Paradise: Turn Your Old Toilet or Truck Tires into Decorative Planters”.
Nonetheless, we here at Infomaniac consider this to be a highly unorthodox planter.
Um, first
ReplyDeleteWhile this is a most bizarre image, I feel it is highly necessary to state the obvious:
ReplyDeletethis prickly cactus (the plant, not Ms. Nations) is causing such sexual joy to this sad sack that he actually has a wee dribble of the good stuff.
How wrong. How very, very wrong.
People are insane. They really are.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how she came across this sort of insanity
I thought that wast a wart like thingy Kevin.
ReplyDeleteGood god that IS wrong!
CYBERPOOF AND KEVIN: One of you is up awfully early and the other one awfully late.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your judgment is clouded from lack of sleep.
I gasped when I saw this. Thankfully it looks like the thorns are plucked away at the top. But still. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteIt definately is! It's 7.16am here.
ReplyDeleteI'm heading to work in about 15 minutes and I'm way too tired to care.
Given that is 1:15am, I suppose that for me, either could be true.
ReplyDeleteRegardless,...one does not think that one will see in his dashboard items one try to shove a cucumber up his naughties only to find out that it is in fact a plant indigenous to the deserts of Arizona.
In summation...
I may never sleep again.
HO HO HO!
ReplyDeleteThis guy should chew his food more :-(
ReplyDeleteOh hai XL!
ReplyDeletewhatamIvapour????
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD THAT GUY HAS A CACTUS UP HIS ASS! WHO SENDS YOU THIS SICK SHIT MJ? I AM OUTRAGED! SIMPLY OUTRAGED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO OREGON WITH THAT IMAGE STUCK IN MY MIND? I AM STUNNED; STUNNED, SHOCKED AND APPALLED! AND VEXED! AND A LITTLE CHAFED!
ReplyDeleteoh wait....
.....and i don't have any toilet planters. or truck tires. no toilet planters, no gnomes, no cement deer, no plastic chickens, no canadians, no investment brokers, no no no no NO.
ReplyDeleteNO.
MICHAEL RIVERS: I gasped when I saw this. Thankfully it looks like the thorns are plucked away at the top. But still. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteDon’t be such a big baby.
A little prick won’t hurt you.
CYBERPOOF: It definately is! It's 7.16am here.
I'm heading to work in about 15 minutes and I'm way too tired to care.
You’ll be daydreaming about this at work.
KEVIN: Given that is 1:15am, I suppose that for me, either could be true.
Regardless,...one does not think that one will see in his dashboard items one try to shove a cucumber up his naughties only to find out that it is in fact a plant indigenous to the deserts of Arizona.
In summation...
I may never sleep again.
Luckily it wasn’t a saguaro cactus.
XL: HO HO HO!
Worth watching ‘til the end.
BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-(
But it’s fibre!
KEVIN: whatamIvapour????
Eh?
NATIONS: OH MY GOD THAT GUY HAS A CACTUS UP HIS ASS! WHO SENDS YOU THIS SICK SHIT MJ? I AM OUTRAGED! SIMPLY OUTRAGED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO OREGON WITH THAT IMAGE STUCK IN MY MIND? I AM STUNNED; STUNNED, SHOCKED AND APPALLED! AND VEXED! AND A LITTLE CHAFED!
oh wait....
Oh crap. I thought you’d gone to Oregon and we could talk behind your back.
I have some cream for that chafing.
NATIONS: .....and i don't have any toilet planters. or truck tires. no toilet planters, no gnomes, no cement deer, no plastic chickens, no canadians, no investment brokers, no no no no NO.
NO.
Oh yeah, then what are these?
I've heard of having a prick up your arse, but this....
ReplyDelete"BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-("
ReplyDeleteHe's just cutting out the middle man, saves on food that's too chewy.
I hope he's got an Aloe plant nearby--he's going to need to sit on it to heal those scratches!!!
ReplyDeleteDoes he want it kissing better?
ReplyDeleteThis is obviously the first time he's done it as his arse isn't covered in scars.
ReplyDeletemidnight at the oasis.
ReplyDeleteIf we pay more money will he sit on a tree for next weeks Filthy Friday?
ReplyDeleteSx
He shaved everything but the cactus. Silly.
ReplyDeleteWhat utter filth. Fancy leaving the broom leaning against the wall!
ReplyDeleteObviously the gentleman has had a very close shave and is attempting to compensate for his little prick with a larger one. Poor unfortunate soul.
KAPI: I've heard of having a prick up your arse, but this....
ReplyDeletePerhaps he’s just trying to dislodge your wristwatch.
MOB: "BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-("
He's just cutting out the middle man, saves on food that's too chewy.
We wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole.
EROS: I hope he's got an Aloe plant nearby--he's going to need to sit on it to heal those scratches!!!
Aloe Aloe! …
Isn’t that a Britcom?
KAPI: Does he want it kissing better?
May we remind you that Infomaniac is not a dating service?
IVD: This is obviously the first time he's done it as his arse isn't covered in scars.
Spoken like someone who knows.
Oh, and see my comment to Princess.
NORMADESMOND: midnight at the oasis.
“Cactus is our friend”
Ha!!!
SCARLET: If we pay more money will he sit on a tree for next weeks Filthy Friday?
How much have you got?
JASON: He shaved everything but the cactus. Silly.
A novice manscaper, to be sure.
PRINCESS: What utter filth. Fancy leaving the broom leaning against the wall!
Obviously the gentleman has had a very close shave and is attempting to compensate for his little prick with a larger one. Poor unfortunate soul.
There’s a broom?
Where’s there’s a broom there’s IVD!
"MJ said:
ReplyDeleteWe wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole."
Yes well, you're my secret crush and sometimes I go all shy when you're around, just like Rajeesh on "The Big Bang Theory."
Hopefully its a Peyote cactus
ReplyDeleteTalk about a pain in the ass!!!
ReplyDeleteMOB: "MJ said:
ReplyDeleteWe wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole."
Yes well, you're my secret crush and sometimes I go all shy when you're around, just like Rajeesh on "The Big Bang Theory."
I had to Google this only to find that Rajeesh has a nervous bladder.
Please refrain from peeing on my blog.
FROBI: Hopefully its a Peyote cactus
Wouldn’t it be easier just to brew a cuppa?
EROS: Talk about a pain in the ass!!!
If it’s a Peyote cactus, as Mr. Frobisher suggests, the ANALgesic properties will cut the pain.
Is it wrong that I DIDN'T gasp when I saw this, and immediately wished of someone that this could be done to?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry I've tied a knot in it.
ReplyDeleteDONNA: Is it wrong that I DIDN'T gasp when I saw this, and immediately wished of someone that this could be done to?
ReplyDeleteNot at all.
It means you fit in perfectly as an Official Infomaniac Bitch.
Welcome.
MOB: Don't worry I've tied a knot in it.
Did a scout master teach you?
While we all sit here shocked at the image of a cactus up some dude's ass...I ask: what does it say about us that we look forward to these Filthy Friday posts?
ReplyDeleteUmmm...
Well, I don't know about any of you, but I CAN'T WAIT for next Friday's post!! WWEEE!!!
No, I'm not much of a team player being more of a solo artist, so I am largely self-taught. I say 'largely' as I was married once you see and she was an excellent tutor.
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: While we all sit here shocked at the image of a cactus up some dude's ass...I ask: what does it say about us that we look forward to these Filthy Friday posts?
ReplyDeleteUmmm...
Well, I don't know about any of you, but I CAN'T WAIT for next Friday's post!! WWEEE!!!
Oh great.
Now the pressure’s on.
MOB: No, I'm not much of a team player being more of a solo artist, so I am largely self-taught. I say 'largely' as I was married once you see and she was an excellent tutor.
Can you do a Windsor knot?
Kabuki shall remain standing for the remainder of the day. One can only imagine the dinner conversation in that house. "honey, have you seen the amaryllis?"
ReplyDeleteIs that the one where you slit someones throat and pull their tongue through?
ReplyDeleteKABUKI: Kabuki shall remain standing for the remainder of the day. One can only imagine the dinner conversation in that house. "honey, have you seen the amaryllis?"
ReplyDeleteThe Mother-in-Law's Tongue is missing too…disturbingly.
MOB: Is that the one where you slit someones throat and pull their tongue through?
*takes all sharp objects away from Mob*
My apologies, that is the Colombian Necktie I was thinking of. And then there are things such as:
ReplyDeleteGlaswegian Kiss
Soweto Necklace
Egyptian Brake Pedal
Dutch courage
Tennessee bait
Mexican credit card et al
The beauty of language *sigh*
Mob: What about a pearl necklace? Wait...what are we talking about here?
ReplyDeleteMOB AND RANDOM: Feel free to continue this chat as if I'm not here.
ReplyDeleteAre there cactus in Oregon? And what is the correct plural of cactus?
ReplyDeleteYou cannot imagine what it's like for a man like me to not have access to parts of his mind.
ReplyDeleteMago, Oregon? These things only happen in places like Kentucky and the state with Salt Lake City. I've completely forgotten the name of that state. Something with an I?
ReplyDeleteA cacti a day keeps the piles away.
ReplyDeleteI should work in advertising.
...indoor gardening can be a fun and rewarding hobby...
ReplyDeleteS+S
In Kentucky its the chickens and at the shores of the salt lake the Mormons mumble. ItsUtah, as I just learned.
ReplyDeleteWhether an ode to the cactus exists?
Sorry Pete, I forgot - Oregon because Ms. Nations is either travelling to this place or already has arrived there. I imagine Oregon as something ... empty. Flat. Maybe a cactus would be a nice ... distraction - ?
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Are there cactus in Oregon? And what is the correct plural of cactus?
ReplyDeleteThey have trailer parks in Oregon.
Not so sure about cactus.
The plural of cactus is cacti.
Like the plural of penis is penii.
WALTER: You cannot imagine what it's like for a man like me to not have access to parts of his mind.
What have you done with Mob?
CYBERPOOF & MAGO: I can’t keep up with your chit chat as I’m busy so carry on, the pair of you.
GARFY: A cacti a day keeps the piles away.
I should work in advertising.
Set it to music and you have a catchy jingle for Preparation H.
Are you itching to compose it?
SERAPH + SPLENDOR: Welcome to Infomaniac!
Er, it’s not always this filthy around here. Just Fridays.
*coughs*
...indoor gardening can be a fun and rewarding hobby...
Indeed. Did you know that Infomaniac is actually a gardening blog?
Yes, that’s right.
*waits for nod of approval from the others*
Bananas. Its mostly about banans. And inflammable uteri.
ReplyDeleteWhat a splendid gardening blog Mistress MJ.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Patrick Chain and, due to my amazing ability to to card tricks which I learned as part of my psychology course at polytechnic, Walter has asked me to look into the disappearance of Mob
I plan to urinate in 23 minutes.
ReplyDeleteMy, my, what a little Prick!
ReplyDeleteDarling, I've missed you and have been busy preparing for TVland...but I would NEVER miss Mistress MJ's Filthy Fridays.
Thanks SO MUCH for giving a Diva something to look forward to! mwah!
Shots for everyone! La Diva is in a grand mood! Cocksucker cowboy anyone?!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePS: You have an appointment to suck mango juice off someone's heroin-tracked arms:
ReplyDeleteladivacucina.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-season-bourdain-is-off-leash.html
Sorry darling, it's not accepting my link!
MAGO: Bananas. Its mostly about banans. And inflammable uteri.
ReplyDeleteThank you very MUCH, Troublemaker.
MENTAL TIT: What a splendid gardening blog Mistress MJ.
My name is Patrick Chain and, due to my amazing ability to to card tricks which I learned as part of my psychology course at polytechnic, Walter has asked me to look into the disappearance of Mob
What’s this up my sleeve?
WALTER: I plan to urinate in 23 minutes.
*slips in puddle*
Damn. I’m too late.
LA DIVA CUCINA: My, my, what a little Prick!
Darling, I've missed you and have been busy preparing for TVland...but I would NEVER miss Mistress MJ's Filthy Fridays.
Thanks SO MUCH for giving a Diva something to look forward to! mwah!
Shots for everyone! La Diva is in a grand mood! Cocksucker cowboy anyone?!
What or who has got into YOU?
LA DIVA CUCINA: PS: You have an appointment to suck mango juice off someone's heroin-tracked arms:
ladivacucina.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-season-bourdain-is-off-leash.html
Sorry darling, it's not accepting my link!
Oh no you di’int!
If I find Tony Bourdain over there, I’ll faint.