If you think I’m doing a Blogging Roundup after being away for half the week, you have another thing coming to you.
Instead, you’ll write the Roundup.
Yes, you will tell Mistress MJ and all the other bitches the highlights of what you posted over the past week.
Even if, for some of you, the highlights were more like lowlights.
Leave your summary in the comments box at the sound of the tone.
I’ll have one of the houseboys make sure I take your call in the order it was received.
Can I bum a fag?
Highlights of what I posted?
ReplyDeleteErm...stuff about arses and asses, boobs and bosoms, and that's about it really.
And where's that pic? I'm waiting...
And oh look *he said innocently* I appear to be first yet again, ho hum, lol.
ReplyDeleteGINRO: *notes that it's 3:15 a.m. in England*
ReplyDeleteAre you blogging from bed?
No, I fell asleep this afternoon and then had a two hour workout this evening which rather woke me up a bit. Waiting for the adrenaline to subside and then I might be able to sleep for a bit, lol.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to reflect on this past week is the arrival of f*cking WINTER!!!!! It is -12C right now, the overnight low is -15C and the high for tomorrow is only -6C!!! There is freakin' ice everywhere and it is slippery as hell. Remind me why I live in this part of the universe???
ReplyDeleteOh, and I am waiting... on a man, no less.....
And I am second, am I not? You don't count MJ, as it is your blog.
What is that woman trying to shoot out her nipples????
ReplyDeleteFirst.
ReplyDeleteHa.
First? Mago, what drugs are you smokin'?
ReplyDeleteI posted dead stuff. Aren't you glad you asked?
ReplyDeletePonygirl: Y'er "waitin' for the man" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_Waiting_for_the_Man) (sorry did not find a sound now), hope he's worth it!
ReplyDeleteI smoke cigars. Plain tabacco. Like in tabacco road.
ReplyDelete(I asked you to send me an email-adress, and I repeat it: Ask!)
Mago: the sound would be here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UpFGoJHwLI
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. Time will tell.
Yay! Thirteenth!
ReplyDeleteI posted about our latest adventures over The Cusp: Ladyboy princesses, incontinent Queen Mothers (ahem), exotic fruit under matresses, Texan princes wearing only icecream and bickering witches.
And there was no bumming of fags. That may happen this week if I'm lucky!
i got touched up (it was a short post).. and i am blogging from bed; 'tis best, just in case.
ReplyDelete***makes Triumphant return***
ReplyDeleteI was busy
Then I was knackered
So I had a good sleep
Funny thing tho , I curled up next to Miss MJ and went to sleep and this morning my pyjamas are buttoned up wrong and the trouses are on back to front!!!! I am sure they weren't like that when I went to sleep
Last week I tagged MJ... and confessed (somewhere) that I once owned a Bay City Rollers Album. I stole a Dyson, met Pinky and Perky for drinks and nibbled on some tropical delights. Oh and then I threw up over someones crusty duvet after eating too many hobnobs...
ReplyDeleteSx
Everyone else did the work at my place. Favourite album covers was the topic.
ReplyDeleteUgh, my blog is in a mess right now. I switched it to horse stuff and lost all my readers - yep, all four of them. So now I'm gonna swing it back to all the important other stuff that goes on in life.
ReplyDeleteEh, nothing interesting, really. Been a busy weekend.
ReplyDeleteWith deep regret I posted on the passing of CooCoo the pigeon, a loyal and faithful companion for the last 3 weeks.
ReplyDeleteGINRO: Two hour workout?
ReplyDeleteWho are you? Madonna?
Careful or you’ll become all sinewy like an old chicken.
PONYGIRL: I’ll trade your freezing temperatures for this endless fucking rain.
Imagine days on end of pouring rain with no let-up where you don’t see the sun at all.
Thankfully, I’m moving back east in ’09.
MAGO: Give me a hit of that.
PONYGIRL: Mago spent the night on a surrealistic pillow.
BOXER: *hands Boxer a sugar skull*
MAGO: Whose email address are you waiting for?
You already have mine.
IVD: Just because I pee a lot doesn’t mean I’m incontinent.
As for bumming a fag, you’ll be lucky if Tim accidentally brushes your body as he pushes you aside but if I had my way, you’d be locked in his embrace…and I’d film it, of course.
CARNALIS: I’ve tried blogging from bed but my pussy gets in the way.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: Those aren’t pyjamas.
It’s a straitjacket.
SCARLET: Do you ever stop partying?
KAZ: Would you like to come up and see my cha cha collection?
TOM: I enjoyed your horsey posts though I wasn’t commenting regularly.
So you’re back to writing about how you earned the “Winner of the Betty's Utility Room 2006 Loverman Award”?
EROS: Penny for your thoughts?
FROBI: Tragic.
Was IVD’s “Beaky” behind this?
MJ: I know all about the f*cking rain - I spent 3 1/2 years in PoCo - and moved back to Winterpeg to warm up and dry out. I was starting to grow moss.
ReplyDeleteI posted some more thankfuls for Thankful November. Highlights? Maybe to some: prescription tranquilizers, "Valley of the Dolls," and Ziggy Stardust.
ReplyDeletePONYGIRL: PoCo? Talk about a season in hell!
ReplyDeleteIt could have been worse.
It could have been Surrey.
LEAH: You watch yourself or I’ll throw your wig in the toilet!
Inane ungrammatical painfully expressed drivel of no consequence whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteAs per.
No more blog so no highlights from me.
ReplyDeleteLove the pic of the nekked woman on the phone. If she your newest switchboard operator?
GARFY: Everything you post delights me to no end.
ReplyDeleteDid you wake up on the wrong side of your bed of nails this morning?
MAIDY: Dear UberBitch:
I suppose you’re too busy on Facebook to maintain your blog?
The woman on the phone is supposedly Mistress MJ (I used a stand-in as I’m much too busy to pose) and obviously she’s bumming a fag from her houseboy whilst taking a call from one of you nattering bitches.
ummmmm.... i posted a bit of a political rant, i posted a picture of tina fey bending over in a tight outfit, a challenge to megan to come up with a story for a picture, a picture of first nations back yard toilet planter, and a post about helping the gal at my work with her flooded home...
ReplyDeleteso not too much posted but you werent there so you wouldnt know...
*turns back to mj and pouts*
VOICES: Did TOO see the toilet planter!
ReplyDeleteWill be round in a couple of hours to see the rest.
Tempermental bitch.
*likes being called names as it reminds him of his childhood*
ReplyDeleteokay we can be friends again...
*pees in corner and skips off down the sidewalk, whistling*
*Walks in wearing a clean Gucci mini*
ReplyDeleteOh, um, besides being incredibly busy over the weekend with research? I've been taking a stand.
I support Guy against the old hag but that's not the only thing I supported. I also support Everyman and Rachel Stevens attempt to get men to fondle their balls more often.
*spritzes self with Sexy Darling and walks off to the next blog*
ReplyDeleteAm I too late?
ReplyDeleteMy posts were all about the black man in the White House, and the fact that Fags and Lesbos can't get married. Gives new meaning to "can I bum a fag?" Eh?
MJ: Between the giant banana slugs, orange slime growing on the patio and the moss balls commiting hari kari from the roof, I was going nuts. Humans were not meant to live in that environment.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank gawd, it was not Surrey - that's way worse.....
But I now bitch about winter and the cold and snow, but that's just because we went from a 105 year record high temp of almost 19C last Monday (was it only a week ago?) to overnight lows of -15C with snow and ice.
Is there no such thing as a gentle introduction to the Frost King? It's like rape and pillage by the Icicle Man right after the Great Pumpkin was just here, wooing us with warmth and pretty colours.
What universe am I in, anyway????
CP: What exactly were you 'researching' in your Gucci mindress and Sexy Darling parfume that has your hair all mussed up and your make-up all smeared????
ReplyDeleteEnquiring minds want to know. Got any pics???
VOICES & CYBERPOOF: You both left a pong on this blog.
ReplyDeleteNot sure which is worse…the pee smell or the Sexy Darling.
RANDOM: The fags got bummed, that’s for sure.
I expected more of Californians.
Queers who wish to wed can move to Canada as same-sex marriage is legal here.
Homosexualists, come on down! Or up, in this case.
PONYGIRL: It rained so much here last winter that the street signs at a nearby intersection were coated with so much moss that you couldn’t read them!
I fucking hate this city.
And there is nothing glamourous about GORE-TEX®.
*makes note to buy Michelin Man-style puffy parka for move back east*
*and snowshoes*
As for CyberPoof, do you really want to know what that little slut gets up to in his spare time?
Rain? I think I remember rain. We have only one season here, drought.
ReplyDeleteXL: Shall I start a rain barrel for you in my yard?
ReplyDeleteI did an interesting post on coal production in the north of England 1846-1907.
ReplyDeleteMJ: I have the Michelin Man jacket - in pumpkin orange so I won't get lost in a blizzard. No snow shoes though.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you moving back too? If it is Ontario, they get lots more snow than we do - it gets too cold here to snow too much most years. When it is -40, it is drier than a centegenarian's twat.
And I only want to know what CP has been up to if there are photos. I am a visual kinda girl - must be why I keep coming back here. Lots of pictures....
The Dating Service is moving?
ReplyDelete[panics]
Will there be a re-location allowance for the staff? I need the job as Pillow Fluffers aren't doing so well in this economic climate.
My posts eerily mirrored those of the Random Chick!
ReplyDelete"I wrote about a genetically altered African-American male human whose largest organ, the skin, has been predispositioned towards a melaninic tinge due to his ancestral exposure to ultraviolet wavelengths in an equatorially latitudinal zone in the White House,
and the fact that Fellers what prefers other Fellers um-hum, and ladies playin' for the other team can't get married, AGAIN.
Great minds...
Oi! Sexy Darling is fab.
ReplyDeleteAnyway what's Pong? I thought it was a videogame.
Ponygirl: There will be photos later this week.
ReplyDeleteI've been verrry busy indeed.
Uh, I like, drank some fuckin beer...
ReplyDeleteKNUDSEN: Coal production in the north of England 1846-1907?
ReplyDeleteIs that what you meant when you said I should look at your shaft?
PONYGIRL: Ontario…although I also considered Quebec.
Do you know how to drive a Ski-Doo?
I do!
XL: I’ll need a duvet fluffer as well as a pillow fluffer as the nights are colder.
Can I count on you?
I’d ask Beast but he’s notorious for his stinky duvet.
COPPENS: I love “Fellers what prefers other Fellers um-hum.”
ReplyDeleteGotta get me some.
Um hum.
They like to take it up the bum.
Um hum um hum um hum.
Oh yeah.
CYBERPOOF: Pong was indeed a videogame that was popular back in Beast’s day but pong is also used to describe a bad smell…such as Beast’s duvet.
Or IVD after a night at the docks.
HEFF: I smell your beer farts.
It’s adding to the stench of Inner Voices’ piss and CyberPoof’s Sexy Darling perfume on this blog.
Mix it up!
Oi! Sexy Darling smells fantastic, you should be so lucky to smell that.
ReplyDeleteYou remember that which came before Pong, don't you?
Never driven a ski-doo but since I used to have a motorcycle (and for some reason still have my helmet), I am sure it would be easy to figure out.
ReplyDeleteI actually prefer to ride my horse in the snow. Much more enjoyable and not nearly as noisy. You don't scare away the wildlife in a 10 mile radius. Sticking your cold hands under a horse's mane is sooo cozy warm and fuzzy!
I flipped off the state of California, then I did a story about ass disease.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Did you just call me sexy, darling?
ReplyDeletePONYGIRL: I grew up riding horses (and ponies) in rural Ontario so I know the feeling.
NATIONS: Ass disease?
I think I caught that from Old Knudsen.
I'll be right over.
Ontario cold? I always think of it as Canada's Florida since it has that southern-most hangy down bit.
ReplyDeleteXL: Have a look at a map of the Canada/U.S. border and see how close the hangy-down bit of Ontario is to Detroit.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know about Detroit's winters, don't you?
That's why there are more Ontarians in Florida in the winter than there are Floridians. They call 'em Snowbirds.
Yep, I lived near Detroit of five years. Snow/ice Oct-Apr. Took the Windsor-Toronto train a few times; saw engines with the giant snow blades. :)
ReplyDeleteXL: I lived in Toronto so probably strode right past you in Union Station in my high-heeled snow boots.
ReplyDelete