meanwhile, you don't wanna know what brave new frontiers i'll be busting today. as we all know, my whole life is a neverending series of wacky adventures anyway, but today will be action packed madcap AND zany. today I engage the forces of MANAGED CARE! MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!
Remember that stuffed turkey on my wall? When I finally brought that bird home I had my way with him, complete with a lap dance. That's why he's missing a few tail feathers. Ahh what can I say. I'm a fowl horny bitch. How cares if he didn't have a pulse!
A Cartoon has never given me a hard-on before(i dont know if i should be happy or sad about this?)Somehow, THE SIMPSONS will never seem the same.Have i lost my Innocence???!
So you want yer readers to try heterosexual sex from jizz stained books? I like where yer mind is.
ReplyDeleteI'm being nice to everyone, nah fuck it.
Watching the football.
ReplyDeleteHow could that bloke be so depraved?
ReplyDeleteHe's still got his socks on.
I murdered somebody today. That was really challenging, but fun.
ReplyDeleteLemon Mousse from M and S.......life on the edge in this house....
ReplyDeleteKNUDSEN: You could grant me another question if you fancy it.
ReplyDeleteAnd stop calling me Stenchtrench.
VICUS: How adventuresome!
Be sure to paint your face and get sozzled.
Then go out and get tattooed.
Are you taking Geoff with you for guidance?
KAZ: I’d give him a choice.
Socks off or rocks off?
BETTY: Was it Geoff? We haven’t heard from him yet.
He had it coming.
MANUEL: Are you spreading the mousse all over your body as part of the initiation rites for the new, upstart waiters?
Knudsen has informed me of your secret desires.
I had always suspected that Betty Boop and Dick Tracy 'hooked up'.
ReplyDeleteDo NOT try position #1 if you are farsighted...
or #2 if you put any stock in hind sight.
*BOWS BEFORE YOUR MIGHTY TIJUANA BIBLE FU!*
ReplyDeletemeanwhile, you don't wanna know what brave new frontiers i'll be busting today. as we all know, my whole life is a neverending series of wacky adventures anyway, but today will be action packed madcap AND zany.
today I engage the forces of MANAGED CARE!
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!
HE: Betty Boop will flash her skivvies at anybody.
ReplyDeleteAND she performs topless in Betty’s Bamboo Isle!
FN: Does it involve unwrapping Mutley or Beast under the Christmas tree?
I wore new shoes to work today
ReplyDeletemy toes are crushed and my heels are bloody
but the shoes look fab
Maybe I'll buy an apron and clean something? That could also lead to thinking up new curse words.
ReplyDeleteI got a new plug put on today for my vandalized, cut-off block heater cord in -20C weather.
ReplyDeleteDoes that count?
There is some bizarre link to copulation there, but I'm just not sure what it is...
what activity haven't I tried.
ReplyDelete*thinks*
Tatas ~ Spelling?
ReplyDeleteI am going to write my letter to Santa.
Remember that stuffed turkey on my wall? When I finally brought that bird home I had my way with him, complete with a lap dance. That's why he's missing a few tail feathers. Ahh what can I say. I'm a fowl horny bitch. How cares if he didn't have a pulse!
ReplyDeleteA Cartoon has never given me a hard-on before(i dont know if i should be happy or sad about this?)Somehow, THE SIMPSONS will never seem the same.Have i lost my Innocence???!
ReplyDeleteCYBERSLUT: You’ve purchased the Cruel Shoes!
ReplyDeleteI hope they’re not those horrid Jessica Simpson shoes.
PRU: You can start by cleaning my place.
WW: Cut-off cord?
That reminds me of HE’s vasectomy posting.
TATAS: Thinking?
Don’t hurt yourself.
SID: Writing your letter to Santa?
Tell him I’ve been naughty.
WAITRESS: Were you high on Wild Turkey?
TONY: Whatever you do, don’t look at this.