Recognize this pink dress from the previous posting? But look who’s wearing it now … it’s our wee Piggy!
Puzzled? Let’s turn back the clock a day or two, shall we?
Piggy and his superhero Tazzy had been shopping at their local Sainsbury’s Supermarket. Or was it Morrisons? Or Tesco? Doesn’t matter. They were stuffing their cart full of all that crap you see them noshing on when the Poofter Cam is switched on. Sausage sarnies. Botulism-infected coronation chicken sandwiches. And such.
Piggy was innocently sniffing an avocado in Aisle 7 when he just happened to glance at the luscious Tazzy. Lo and behold doesn’t Piggy get a stiffy (which he can be grateful for since the doctor prescribed that Viagra cocktail.)
The wee stiffy would NOT go away. It lasted all the way through the rest of the shopping, with Piggy regularly adjusting his stance to hide any obvious display, all the way through the check-out and into the car park. You don’t believe me? Read about it here.
So Piggy’s out in the supermarket parking lot hoping they can make a speedy getaway home and do whatever it is poofters get up to behind closed doors. (Don’t try to picture it. It’s filthy.)
He’s about to turn the ignition over when along struts a vision in high heels with legs up to HERE and wearing a frilly pink frock. (Actually, I think the tranny got that dress out of Midget Arse’s closet.) The vision of loveliness is the tantalyzing tranny pictured in the posting below.
Piggy trips the tranny (he can’t pull in the traditional way) and pushes her into the back seat. The three slutty shirtlifters speed out of the parking lot and race back for a romp chez Tazzy and Piggy.
Afterwards, cigarettes are smoked. The tranny passes out. Tazzy and Piggy relax. Piggy feels he can open up to his superhero Tazzy and share his secret for the first time.
Piggy glances at the lacy pink frock, now tossed carelessly in a heap on the bedroom floor (along with the sausage sarnie crumbs.)
“Would I? Could I? Should I?”
Piggy caresses the shiny pink fabric and clutches it to his heaving bosom(s).
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Okay you lot. Over to you. Finish the story. Tell is like it is.
Yay, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt was Morrisons.
Anyway (fave word), you got my colour choice completely wrong. It's nothing other than shimmering green for me.
Quiet in 'ere today, innit?
ReplyDeletePiggy, realizes that his dream of cross-dressing had finally come true, grabbed the last sausage,heaved it up his butt and while experiencing such pleasure threw the pink frock over his head.
ReplyDeleteTazzy was so shocked he was scared straight and immediately emailed Awaiting with a request. He begged, pleaded for her to save him from his now insane love...but awaiting was busy with her kids, couldn't get out.
MJ stepped in, as she had been conviently watching the entire thing via web cam. She immediately put her hubby on standby, told him to get the guest bedroom ready. She jumped on a plane and arrived just in time as Piggy was on top the roof of the house with a bottle of Guiness in one hand, a tube of lipstick in the other, prancing to and fro while singing 'o taunnenbaum'.
MJ snuck in unnoticed, and cradled the shivering Tazzy whose eyes were the size of grapefruits from all the crying. It appeared that he had taken quite a licking after Piggy threw a high heeled show at him.
All he would say, was "Awaiting...take me to Awaiting..."
Ewwww...
ReplyDeletePiggy: It's quiet because they're praying I'll post something above your pic so they don't have to look at you anymore. And if it wasn't for me and Tony, no one would be commenting on the shite you've posted today.
ReplyDeleteAwaiting: That's EXACTLY what happened! Send Tazzy to me when you're finished with him.
WW: Look who's talking. Wasn't it just yesterday you were entertaining thoughts of trying that frock on?
within...
ReplyDelete*tsk,tsk,tsk*
That color would be so wrong on you!
Everyone: Head over to Awaiting's blog. She's posted Piggy's wedding photo. Truly grotesque.
ReplyDeleteMJ, he'll be too worn out...I will put him straight to work caring for the kids, cooking, cleaning and rubbing my toes. I'll let him rest a bit before I send him your way, that way you'll have him all freshed!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll put him straight to work with the rubbing as well. Bring on the freshened Tazzy!
ReplyDeleteI was momentarily enamored with the prospect, but now fear I would be de-frocked in the pink frock...
ReplyDeleteWW: *considers Photoshopping WW's head onto pink frock*
ReplyDeleteohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, another photoshopping opp!
ReplyDeleteThat is truly funny MJ.
ReplyDeletePoor Piggy, I know he can take it though.
Didn't you see the little *TM in the bottom right hand corner of my pic?
ReplyDeleteI'm patented and could sue for damages. Or, I might just howl with laughter.
Or cry.
D. Prince: Piggy's sodded off somewhere with his curly tail between his legs. Properly pissed at being on display in his frilly finery. Meanwhile, I'm getting emails from blokes who want to date him.
ReplyDeleteWW: Change your pic fast before I have a chance to download it.
It took me three months or so to figure out how to post the pic you see now to my blog.
ReplyDeleteI figure I can remove it by, say, January.
In the meantime, for the record, let's state I am not one of those blokes wanting to date Piggy.
STOP IT!
ReplyDelete(ok...finish the story, hold please.)
Piggy immediately remembers an old favourite trick of his to delight his Tazzy, Delightful. Just delightful. they both agreed.
ReplyDeletePass the coronation chicken please.
And a bucket!
Crap-ass.
ReplyDeletethat is a good post.
For some reason it makes me think of the link PDD had up a few weeks ago. And this just gives me another reason to VIEW it!
VIEW ME!
WW: Methinks thou doth protest too much.
ReplyDeleteSID: You filthy Oirish cunt! Why did you go and bring THAT up again? We've all been trying to forget that incident. Thanks a lot. Wish you'd stayed in Spain. Twisted Oirish tosser. You do realize, don't you, that Taz & Pig are going to perform that stunt on YOU when they visit you in Ireland?
~D: You're as bad as SID! Perv!
hello..piggy
ReplyDeletechef queer pimped me here!:)
Jo: Hi! That Queer Chef really gets around.
ReplyDelete...Taking the bubblegum from his cheek, Tazzy tenderly places it where it will do the most good. Piggy closes his eyes and shudders with unholy delight. "You know we have no secrets, my porcine prima donna,' he remonstates tenderly, taking the dress from his grasp. Trembling like an epileptic sharing a hot tub with a radio, Piggy waits, scarcely able to breathe as Tazzy slowly, seductively slips the silken frock over the head of the neibors dog.
ReplyDeleteFN: Rofl!
ReplyDelete*tries to think of ways to work the phrase "porcine prima donna" into future references to Piggy*
His bosoms heaved so much, that the friction against the manmade fibres of the dress-of-his-dreams, caused him to spontaneously combust.
ReplyDeleteThat's why he hasn't been back here. Tazzy had to rush him to Intensive Care wearing a pair of oven mits.
ummm-thank you? heh heh heh
ReplyDeleteID: The same fate befell the drummers from Spinal Tap. The spontaneous combustion. Not the heaving bosoms.
ReplyDelete