tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post5062157634229961897..comments2024-03-26T13:17:24.172-04:00Comments on Infomaniac: Whinge-FestThe Mistresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-30383617746250345202008-03-28T12:31:00.000-04:002008-03-28T12:31:00.000-04:00T-BIRD: You'll come begging when you're down to yo...T-BIRD: You'll come begging when you're down to your last dollar.<BR/><BR/>BINGOWINGS: I'd entertain the Seven Dwarfs with it.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-47991337474261619702008-03-28T12:26:00.000-04:002008-03-28T12:26:00.000-04:00I'm curious, MJ, what would you do with a Walt Dis...I'm curious, MJ, what would you do with a Walt Disney head with red glowing eyes and a flicking tongue?<BR/>A comfort on those nights, when the lights go out, perhaps?eroswingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06678990077292314028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-14776455364384893232008-03-28T02:49:00.000-04:002008-03-28T02:49:00.000-04:00On second thoughts...I think I'll pass. Kenny? Hmm...On second thoughts...I think I'll pass. <BR/><BR/>Kenny? Hmmm.Miss Smuggershamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14206572373676151684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-23544878271829925382008-03-27T17:33:00.000-04:002008-03-27T17:33:00.000-04:00QUCIFER: Someone forgot to take her happy pills.BI...QUCIFER: Someone forgot to take her happy pills.<BR/><BR/>BILLY: Chez Infomaniac there is always an “emergency roll.” <BR/><BR/>Don’t tell me you used up the emergency roll and didn’t replace it?!<BR/><BR/>*offers Billy a Wet Wipe in the meantime*<BR/><BR/>DONN: The Disney Store chain could be saved from bankruptcy by making molds of Walt Disney’s head.<BR/><BR/>I’d like one on a stick. With eyes that flash red. And a tongue that flicks in and out.<BR/><BR/>IVD: If you’d travel by Broom more often than Car, you would be a happier person AND you’d lessen your carbon footprint. Damn! There’s that phrase again!<BR/><BR/>Please explain your aversion to blue carpets. What have they ever done to YOU?<BR/><BR/>Tim needs some sense knocked into him. Perhaps your greasy t-zone is putting him off.<BR/><BR/>T-BIRD: A tip for when you go to work for KNUDSEN.<BR/><BR/>He likes women to address his willie as “Kenny”.<BR/><BR/>Don’t expect cuddles. And you’ll have to make the tea.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-31595907346354293092008-03-27T17:23:00.000-04:002008-03-27T17:23:00.000-04:00Ok Knuddy - I need some cash ASAP. Put me to work....Ok Knuddy - I need some cash ASAP. Put me to work. <BR/><BR/>I also hate it when people say "You're single? Why on earth are you single?" They then invariably list all of my positive attributes and then pause and examine me intently... as if they are going to find the defect responsible for my most horrid condition. <BR/><BR/>Don't. Fucking. Act. All. Superior. <BR/><BR/>Your husband perves at my boobs over dinner when he thinks no one is looking.Miss Smuggershamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14206572373676151684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-76466138177421376302008-03-27T16:56:00.000-04:002008-03-27T16:56:00.000-04:00Oh, and: Yes please, MJ. If you would have a word...Oh, and: Yes please, MJ. If you would have a word with Tim...Inexplicable DeVicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04187364843729214996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-46070315816154324082008-03-27T16:55:00.000-04:002008-03-27T16:55:00.000-04:00The Anti-Car Government.Salesmen/women.The AA (Aut...The Anti-Car Government.<BR/>Salesmen/women.<BR/>The AA (Automobile Association, not Alcoholics Anonymous)<BR/>Retarded fuckwits at work - Go and bother someone else you lazy, good-for-nothing, moronic mouth-breathing bags of scum! <BR/>Greasy T-zones.<BR/>Dry H-zones.<BR/>Lack of disposable income - I'm with you on this one T-Bird.<BR/>Tesco.<BR/>Rap & RnB.<BR/>Fat neighbours with gardens full of crap!<BR/>Dingbat drivers - Look where you're fucking going and use your indicators, you twats!<BR/>Blue carpets.<BR/>Marshmallows.<BR/>Cauliflower.<BR/>Thoughtless, selfish people. Especially, thoughtless, selfish old people.Inexplicable DeVicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04187364843729214996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-87601097347552959122008-03-27T16:11:00.000-04:002008-03-27T16:11:00.000-04:00Japanese Whale TrawlersChinese Shark TrawlersKorea...Japanese Whale Trawlers<BR/>Chinese Shark Trawlers<BR/>Korean Dog Coats & Entrées <BR/>Michael Vicks and Dogfights, <BR/>..but I love Catfights!<BR/>Anal Roberts and his University<BR/>Danny Bonadouchebag<BR/>Scott Baio is 46 and Retarded<BR/>Reality show Big Brother<BR/>Souljaboy<BR/>Nazis<BR/>Walt Disney's frozen head<BR/>breast reductions<BR/>cellophaneRomeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-57140762416769098872008-03-27T15:21:00.000-04:002008-03-27T15:21:00.000-04:00At the moment I am irritated by: the lack of toile...At the moment I am irritated by: the lack of toilet paper (there's a couple of strands left) I'll have to go and buy some and in the shop there will be lots of people walked round as if in a daze and getting in the way and they'll have one checkout open and a queue going out the door and it'll take ages and I don't know what to have for dinner and and and and. You get the idea.Billyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17841187654606981532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-59562264323086991312008-03-27T15:01:00.000-04:002008-03-27T15:01:00.000-04:00KidsMy OvariesOur clientsmy other bossthe bitches ...Kids<BR/>My Ovaries<BR/>Our clients<BR/>my other boss<BR/>the bitches in this office<BR/>Any man I'm not porking<BR/>Short people<BR/>Ugly folk<BR/>top 40 music<BR/>.....I'm sure i'll think of more, just let me get off from work and get REALLY goingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-92018217245458054542008-03-27T14:49:00.000-04:002008-03-27T14:49:00.000-04:00BEAST: You sound like a man who’s had a dodgy keba...BEAST: You sound like a man who’s had a dodgy kebab.<BR/><BR/>I wish they would munch that fireside rug of yours.<BR/><BR/>VOICES: By slow drivers you really mean Canadian tourists on Highway 1, don’t you?<BR/><BR/>Nations doesn’t need any more excitement in her life now that her son, St. Francis of Assisi has descended to the Earth and is spreading the seeds of the Nations Empire.<BR/><BR/>So I’ll take anything else you’d planned on giving her.<BR/><BR/>GEOFF: Remember that the pigs grow up to be rather large.<BR/><BR/>Yet they’re probably cleaner than children and they wouldn’t ask for pocket money on weekends.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-71871163439151429872008-03-27T14:37:00.000-04:002008-03-27T14:37:00.000-04:00Royal Ascot - cunts.Britney's minge made me winge....Royal Ascot - cunts.<BR/><BR/>Britney's minge made me winge.<BR/><BR/>Bono is more annoying.<BR/><BR/>We'd rather adopt a Vietnamese pot bellied pig.Geoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00340519450159428760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-69173629854409459722008-03-27T14:35:00.000-04:002008-03-27T14:35:00.000-04:00pimping me twice in one week! fucking stoked! oh w...pimping me twice in one week! fucking stoked! oh wait i was supposed to continue bitching about something... um, i hate it when people who drive slow dont pull the fuck over. even when ive been throwing beer cans at them and trying to run them off the road. some people have the fucking nerve eh? <BR/><BR/>perhaps nations could be voted off the approval list next week, stay tuned... <BR/><BR/>ahahahahahaaaa.... <BR/><BR/>*turns head, twitches and yells at someone that no one else can see*<BR/><BR/>funny, the word verification thing was: phrmsxxx just thought youd like to know.INNER VOICEShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09711910995629845274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-89781815402038664152008-03-27T14:17:00.000-04:002008-03-27T14:17:00.000-04:00kes a good point about militant vegans.Meat is mur...kes a good point about militant vegans.<BR/>Meat is murder.....FUCK OFF AND DIE<BR/>I dont eat anything with a face.... no shit RUG MUNCHER<BR/><BR/>Just think how much healthier I am than you......THATS WHY YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR ON A DAY OUT FROM AN AIDS CLINIC IS IT ????BEASThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15428640137434521072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-88614833614466174232008-03-27T13:55:00.000-04:002008-03-27T13:55:00.000-04:00BOXER: Why is there no coloured bracelet for menst...BOXER: Why is there no coloured bracelet for menstrual cramps?<BR/><BR/>I could snap it brusquely against my skin every time I feel a particularly evil cramp and a recorded voice from within would say, “Pain? I’LL give you something to cry about!”<BR/><BR/>Come back after you’ve had an espresso coffee.<BR/><BR/>FN: Fishy aroma?!<BR/><BR/>I was honoured that Inner Voices gave me a <A HREF="http://tinyurl.com/yph3hx/" REL="nofollow">Seal of Approval</A>.<BR/><BR/>But when I found out that YOU got one TOO, it cheapened the experience.<BR/><BR/>May KNUDSEN’S ostomy aperture open upon you.<BR/><BR/>BETTY: I feel your pain.<BR/><BR/>Yet I’m impressed by the fact that in the Bollywood number, they rhymed ‘chutney’ and ‘Putney’.<BR/><BR/>VOICES: At least you don’t have KNUDSEN’S problem. <BR/><BR/>Aliens collect his sperm in the middle of the night and are using it to create a master race.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-41609081806268823652008-03-27T13:33:00.000-04:002008-03-27T13:33:00.000-04:00it really bothers me that im the only one who seem...it really bothers me that im the only one who seems to be able to communicate with the dead and that the fuckers just wont leave me alone.INNER VOICEShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09711910995629845274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-12209317841578620612008-03-27T13:19:00.000-04:002008-03-27T13:19:00.000-04:00For your delight: http://uk.youtube.com/results?se...For your delight: http://uk.youtube.com/results?search_query=halifax+adverts&search_type=<BR/><BR/>Take your pick from any on offer. The awful Howard is so "famous" that he's appeared on The Office (or was it Extras?)Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11296810448779372875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-84849965699493687432008-03-27T12:48:00.000-04:002008-03-27T12:48:00.000-04:00-allergies-asthma-the elections-the oscars-that fi...-allergies<BR/>-asthma<BR/>-the elections<BR/>-the oscars<BR/>-that fishy aroma that drifts down from up north whenever mj flashes her taco at a cop<BR/>-the emmys<BR/>-Americas next idol<BR/>-dancing with the stars<BR/>-when knudsens' ostomy aperature gets clogged<BR/>-militant vegans<BR/>-...who feed their dogs vegetarian diets<BR/>- people who think they are vampires, animals or dead<BR/>-snot<BR/>-how the paint peels off the north side of my house whenever mj flashes her taco at a copFirstNationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13387748372500478809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-23425539662919312492008-03-27T12:30:00.000-04:002008-03-27T12:30:00.000-04:00I'm tired of those stupid colored bracelets that a...I'm tired of those stupid colored bracelets that are supposed to cure the world of everything from cancer to breast cancer and now: WHINING?<BR/><BR/>Bah!<BR/><BR/>(I can probably do better, but I'm just getting to my third cup of coffee.)Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11280822962202098606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-39904946794162092122008-03-27T10:20:00.000-04:002008-03-27T10:20:00.000-04:00BILLY: Perhaps you’ll be encouraged to become more...BILLY: Perhaps you’ll be encouraged to become more vocal by reading the comments of all the seasoned whingers beneath you.<BR/><BR/>Read and learn! Then come back and have another go at it.<BR/><BR/>IVD: Would you like me to have a word with Tim?<BR/><BR/>T-BIRD: Why don’t you have a word with OLD KNUDSEN?<BR/><BR/>He can put you to work right away and there’s the end of your financial woes.<BR/><BR/>BEAST: Elton Fecking John has been using your flat while you’re at work for an extra-marital affair.<BR/><BR/>After a shag, he and his lover head for the shower (hence the shortage of shower gel) and, having worked up an appetite, raid your fridge.<BR/><BR/>And I blame them for that stain on your couch.<BR/><BR/>KNUDSEN: I’m reporting you to the Bishop of Leeds.<BR/><BR/>After reading your last post, I’ll take the high road and not take offence when you inferred that my stench trench needs a makeover.<BR/><BR/>I do, however, consider it a public service that you’ve announced Manuel’s (Hot in Belfast!) rates on your blog. £10 an hour is so cheap that even T-BIRD can hire him.<BR/><BR/>TICKERS: Don’t look behind you.<BR/><BR/>There’s a carbon footprint on your arse.<BR/><BR/>And if I may have a turn at whinging, I am sick of the term “carbon footprint.”<BR/><BR/>BETTY: Please expound on the Halifax adverts. Is there a site I can click on to view these so that I too may suffer and feel closer to you, my British cousins?<BR/><BR/>What have you got against ‘Heat’ magazine? That’s my window, aside from your blog and Coronation Street, into all things English.<BR/><BR/>I could do a long posting, no, create an entire blog about menstrual cramps. Who is the joker responsible for creating them? While I’m reporting KNUDSEN to the Bishop of Leeds, I’ll have a word with him about it.<BR/><BR/>DONN: C’mon. I know you’ve got more in you. Get back in the ring and tell us what you really think.<BR/><BR/>BBB: Repeat the mantra “fucking fuckers” over and over ‘til you reach enlightenment.<BR/><BR/>Then send me $19.95.<BR/><BR/>GEOFF: How do you feel about the Royal Ascot?<BR/><BR/>Has Britney’s minge ever caused you to binge?<BR/><BR/>Who is more annoying: Bono or Angelina Jolie? <BR/><BR/>And why haven’t you and Betty adopted a Vietnamese orphan or two?The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-11870977362921493012008-03-27T09:26:00.000-04:002008-03-27T09:26:00.000-04:00Rugby, cricket, show jumping, the Royal Family, st...Rugby, cricket, show jumping, the Royal Family, stocks and shares, "talent" shows, EastEnders, individual children's education, Bono on stage with an economist, cars, Amy Winehouse's health, sudoku, Facebook, the 100 most powerful blogs, REM, binge drinking, Britney Spears' minge.<BR/><BR/>wv - fartfiGeoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00340519450159428760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-87279223175849053572008-03-27T09:19:00.000-04:002008-03-27T09:19:00.000-04:00Having to work. I mean, I've been doing the fuckin...Having to work. I mean, I've been doing the fucking lottery for ages so shouldn't it have been my turn to win by now. Maybe they forgot how long I'd been buying tickets for it. Fuckers. Look, I can't be expected to work, have a social life AND bring up a kid. Why isn't the government butting it's nose in about this, it does on everything else.<BR/>Fucking fuckers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-63868882991565530262008-03-27T08:53:00.000-04:002008-03-27T08:53:00.000-04:00For starters I wish to lodge a formal complaint ag...For starters I wish to lodge a formal complaint against the following people for being born: Pastor Will Bowen<BR/>Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly<BR/>Ryan Seacrest<BR/>Dick Cheney et al<BR/>Omar Khadr and his entire f*cking family get the f*ck out of my country and stay the f*ck out!<BR/><BR/>Wow this feels sooo good..<BR/>if kvetchin is wrong, <BR/>I don't wanna be right!Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-780872815988976522008-03-27T07:06:00.000-04:002008-03-27T07:06:00.000-04:00Families. Children. "Improved" council waste dis...Families. Children. "Improved" council waste disposal schemes where your rubbish is collected fortnightly instead of weekly. Menstrual cramps. Women who say "speaking as a mother" as if it gives them some sort of moral superiority. Reality TV. Dinner parties. Cellulite: what's the fucking point? Halifax adverts. If you don't live in the UK, feel thankful that you're not subjected to Halifax adverts on the telly. Weddings. People who bang on about organic food. People who feel they have to see counsellors when there's nothing wrong with them. People who have to "talk about their problems" with all and sundry. Heat magazine. People who complain about everything.Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11296810448779372875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-83801144301576390282008-03-27T06:03:00.000-04:002008-03-27T06:03:00.000-04:00Wankers who think turning off the hall light for h...Wankers who think turning off the hall light for half an hour is a political act that's going to save the planet. <BR/>The planet is going to be saved when we're all too poor to waste anything and nobody's going to vote for that are they?Tickersoidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03836158766198278595noreply@blogger.com