Wednesday, September 23, 2009

MANFLU Epidemic

It’s MANFLU season again.


(click to enlarge to experience the horror that is MANFLU)
[image via]

Just when you thought it was safe to mingle amongst the unwashed masses, both CyberPete and Mr. Peenee have been struck down with dreadful cases of MANFLU.

Mr. Peenee whinges on (and on) about it here.

Please offer up your Novenas and prayers to our ailing friends.

What precautions are you taking to guard against the dreaded MANFLU?

44 comments:

  1. Well I'm feeling a little better. It's the hot drinks and the other hot things in my life.

    Thanks for all your thoughts and well wishes.

    Lve to you all,

    'Pete

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  2. Here's some health advice to avoid the flu:

    Don't have sex with people who have the flu!

    And wash your hands!

    Get Well Soon, CP and Mr Peenee. I'm sure the priests will come by soon to perform the last rites--or an exorcism, whatever makes you feel better.

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  3. Oh Hai Cyberpete and Eroswings.

    I've had the flu for the past two weeks, but guess what? Woman rarely mention it, we just suffer in silence.

    Still, here's to a speedy recovery. Change out your tootbrushes.

    **looks around for XL**

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  4. Oh hai Bingowings and Miss Boxer!

    Thanks. I'm carrying a bottle of what looks like lube around with me at all times now. Don't worry, it's alco-gel.

    I'm usually not a total germ freak, but I am now.

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  5. BITCHES: Why is CyberPete carrying lube around with him at all times?

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  6. I had my flu shot last week. My arm is sore. May I whine about that?


    Oh Hai Pete, Eros, Boxer, MJ!

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  7. Women just don't understand what it's like for a man. Honestly, even giving birth they make such a racket when in reality it's the man that does all the hard work - the sweating, the worry, the notice stuck to my forehead saying "No, I do NOT want to cut the cord" just in case I pass out - and all the while the woman lies there just whinging in between reading her OK magazine...

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  8. Oh Hai Cyberpete, Boxer, XL and Ginro.

    Cyberpete, I like your style, always ready for action! I bet you're the kind of friend that one could call round unexpectedly and have a slap-up 3 course meal on the spur of the moment.

    Or 3 courses of cocktails...mmmm...

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  9. You wait till Mr Beastie starts moaning and whining. His flu goes on for months. It's cos he wanders around in the evenings wearing nothing but his purple lurex posing pouch... and he never washes his duvet.

    Wishing a speedy recovery to Pete and Mr Peenee! Maybe they also need to change their bedding more frequently, and wear more clothes?
    Sx

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  10. That pic was so horrifying I had to snag it. I wonder what's in the bag with the green ribbon?

    Wil Harrison.com

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  11. Well I won't be going to Denmark in the near future.

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  12. Oh yes, steps I'm taking to avoiding manflu: I'm avoiding sick men.

    And washing my hands thoroughly.

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  13. Whether a simple novena is enough for the poor lads? They should be allowed to chomp on the Sindone!

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  14. XL: I had my flu shot last week. My arm is sore. May I whine about that?

    As Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer, you cannot afford sick time so you did the right thing by getting a flu shot.

    You are allowed one brief sigh.

    GINRO: Women just don't understand what it's like for a man. Honestly, even giving birth they make such a racket when in reality it's the man that does all the hard work - the sweating, the worry, the notice stuck to my forehead saying "No, I do NOT want to cut the cord" just in case I pass out - and all the while the woman lies there just whinging in between reading her OK magazine...

    Mistress MJ refuses to participate in the horror that is childbirth.

    We shall boycott it as we did with Talk Like a Pirate Day.

    OK Magazine… Old Knudsen magazine?

    There is not enough room in the centrefold for his...cap.

    ROSES: Cyberpete, I like your style, always ready for action! I bet you're the kind of friend that one could call round unexpectedly and have a slap-up 3 course meal on the spur of the moment.
    Or 3 courses of cocktails...mmmm...


    Slap-up?

    Or you could just call him a slapper.

    SCARLET: You wait till Mr Beastie starts moaning and whining. His flu goes on for months. It's cos he wanders around in the evenings wearing nothing but his purple lurex posing pouch... and he never washes his duvet.
    Wishing a speedy recovery to Pete and Mr Peenee! Maybe they also need to change their bedding more frequently, and wear more clothes?


    We’re certain that if Beast were to do a load of laundry once in awhile, his MANFLU symptoms would subside.

    Here is one of Beast's tedious MANFLU rants.

    Note his over-dramatization with the Grim Reaper imagery.

    WIL: That pic was so horrifying I had to snag it. I wonder what's in the bag with the green ribbon?

    But is the pic “Wednesday Whoa”-worthy?

    The bag…hmmmm. ..let’s put that question to our readers, shall we?

    KAZ: Well I won't be going to Denmark in the near future.

    Why travel to Denmark when you can get kippers in England?

    ROSES: Oh yes, steps I'm taking to avoiding manflu: I'm avoiding sick men.
    And washing my hands thoroughly.


    Avoiding “sick” men?

    You are on the wrong blog.

    MAGO: Whether a simple novena is enough for the poor lads? They should be allowed to chomp on the Sindone!

    Wouldn’t a slice of toast be more palatable?


    BITCHES: Wil has posed a question…

    WHAT’S IN THAT BEDSIDE BAG?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think that's his fun bag. The serpent gives it away.

    Inside resides

    *weed
    *pipe
    *furry handcuffs
    *cat-o-nine tails

    ReplyDelete
  16. Of all the Flus, Swine, Asian, 24 oz., by far the most serious is the Manflu.

    I take every precaution because the lack of empathy that I receive from my Good-Lady-Wife, whilst I cling to Life itself, is a psychologically-crippling event.

    I have been informed that the next time that I attempt to "put on a show", I will be placed upon an iceflow with old Eskimoes. There, clutching my "big" violin, I will then have plenty of time to reconsider "crying wolf".

    My sincere condoleesarices to my ailing brothers who have so bravely decided not to suffer in silence.
    Solidarity Brothers!

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  17. ROSES: I think that's his fun bag. The serpent gives it away.
    Inside resides
    *weed
    *pipe
    *furry handcuffs
    *cat-o-nine tails


    We are not discussing the contents of your handbag here.

    DONN: Of all the Flus, Swine, Asian, 24 oz., by far the most serious is the Manflu.
    I take every precaution because the lack of empathy that I receive from my Good-Lady-Wife, whilst I cling to Life itself, is a psychologically-crippling event.
    I have been informed that the next time that I attempt to "put on a show", I will be placed upon an iceflow with old Eskimoes. There, clutching my "big" violin, I will then have plenty of time to reconsider "crying wolf".
    My sincere condoleesarices to my ailing brothers who have so bravely decided not to suffer in silence.
    Solidarity Brothers!


    *tunes world’s smallest violin*

    ReplyDelete
  18. "Dönn"??! How do you pronounce that? The sack containes precious things to wear, the crate houses gold ... Obviously the ill man turns away from the spiritualia offered by the holy priest and his greased adlatus, turning to accidentialia like dream visions of hairy loverlies hold before his eyes by shadowy figures and materialistic valuables as symbolized by sack and crate.
    Is it of Mexican origin?

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  19. MAGO: "Dönn"??! How do you pronounce that? The sack containes precious things to wear, the crate houses gold ... Obviously the ill man turns away from the spiritualia offered by the holy priest and his greased adlatus, turning to accidentialia like dream visions of hairy loverlies hold before his eyes by shadowy figures and materialistic valuables as symbolized by sack and crate.
    Is it of Mexican origin?


    We shall consult our Aztec/Inca/Mayan colouring book to determine its significance.

    NORMADESMOND: try a precum drip!

    Thank you, Nurse Norma.

    Will you be personally arranging treatment for our readers?

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  20. The Earth Angel, for all those environmentally aware pleasure-seekers:

    http://www.theearthangel.ie/

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  21. GINRO: The Earth Angel, for all those environmentally aware pleasure-seekers:
    http://www.theearthangel.ie/


    I hear a heavenly choir!

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  22. It's not lube MJ.

    I don't bring lube to work every day.

    Roses, you can be sure to get 3 drinks in a jiffy. The 3 course dinner takes a little preparation. Give me a 6 hour heads up.

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  23. And forget your worries about childbirth MJ. Here is the proof how easy it is -

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iBdZZ_jml8

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  24. I am with Donn and the rest of the boys . Banded together suffering while the screaming hordes of heartless harpies kvetching and moaning about wimmins problems.
    Get well soon

    ReplyDelete
  25. CYBERPOOF: It's not lube MJ.
    I don't bring lube to work every day.
    Roses, you can be sure to get 3 drinks in a jiffy. The 3 course dinner takes a little preparation. Give me a 6 hour heads up.


    It’s Astroglide, isn’t it?

    GINRO: And forget your worries about childbirth MJ. Here is the proof how easy it is -
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iBdZZ_jml8


    Regardless, I’m STILL not having your baby!

    BEAST: I am with Donn and the rest of the boys . Banded together suffering while the screaming hordes of heartless harpies kvetching and moaning about wimmins problems.
    Get well soon


    Mistress MJ will remember your attitude next time she has SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL!

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  26. I tied my husband up with cord and immobilized his cakehole with duct tape and jabbed him with a flu shot.

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  27. LEAH: I tied my husband up with cord and immobilized his cakehole with duct tape and jabbed him with a flu shot.

    If you’re interested, there is a job waiting for you under Mistress MJ’s employ in the oubliette.

    CYBERPOOF: Astroglide?

    Visit their website.

    You probably have stock in the company.

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  28. DONN: Yeah!
    what Beast said


    Excuse me but Mago asked you a question.

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  29. By the look of that website, I wish!

    That or ID.

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  30. "Flutschi is priiima,
    Flutschi is 'ne Wucht -
    mit Flutschi macht das F*cken Spaß!"

    It's oekoproof!

    FLUTSCHI!

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  31. "immobilized his cakehole" - LMAO!

    Also, does CyberPete live here?

    Wil Harrison.com

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  32. I am much better now, thank you for your concern, such as it was. And you can just put that Midol enema down now.

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  33. I just go outdoors and cough on people.

    I'm a caring and sharing kinda guy.

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  34. I havent taken a day off work on the sick in over six years.......that record is coming to an end soon....not that I'll be sick.....just pissed off...

    the picture is superb by the way...

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  35. “What precautions are you taking to guard against the dreaded MANFLU? “

    I plan to steer clear of the infected blogs. However the little cartoon Satan’s in the accompanying graphic are quite sexy and turn me on.

    ReplyDelete
  36. CYBERPOOF: By the look of that website, I wish!
    That or ID.


    You certainly are perky for someone afflicted with MANFLU.

    MAGO: "Flutschi is priiima,
    Flutschi is 'ne Wucht -
    mit Flutschi macht das F*cken Spaß!"
    It's oekoproof!
    FLUTSCHI!


    *examines photo on website*

    You Franconians like to get good and greasy, don’t you?

    CYBERPOOF: "immobilized his cakehole" - LMAO!
    Also, does CyberPete live here?


    We’ve fixed up a sofa for CyberPete in the oubliette.

    MR. PEENEE: I am much better now, thank you for your concern, such as it was. And you can just put that Midol enema down now.

    I simply offered you a Midol suppository but apparently, wishful thinking on your part has turned it into an enema.

    The doctor will see you now.

    GARFY: I just go outdoors and cough on people.
    I'm a caring and sharing kinda guy.


    I’m feeling oddly compassionate despite your poor attitude.

    When someone gives you MANFLU, I shall prepare a lovely Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle for you.

    MANUEL: I havent taken a day off work on the sick in over six years.......that record is coming to an end soon....not that I'll be sick.....just pissed off...
    the picture is superb by the way...


    I’ve just read over at yours that you’ve been holding your pee in and that can’t be healthy.

    AYEM8Y: “What precautions are you taking to guard against the dreaded MANFLU? “

    I plan to steer clear of the infected blogs. However the little cartoon Satan’s in the accompanying graphic are quite sexy and turn me on.


    Are you aware that the Devil’s penis is three-pronged so that he may penetrate multiple orifices simultaneously?

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  37. I nursed Carmen from Queen Flu a little while ago. A "Crippling illness" and "near death experience" she called it.

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  38. MITZI: As crippling as the infestion of crabs that she "caught from a toilet seat"?

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  39. I'm trying to get as many injections of Man as I can manage.

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  40. JASON: We here at Infomaniac think of everything.

    Cookies and juice will be served after your next jab.

    ReplyDelete