Thursday, December 04, 2008

MANFLU: Myth or Malady?

Beast, Famulus, and Maxi Cane have all fallen victim recently to the dreaded MANFLU.

We here at Infomaniac believe the MANFLU to be nothing more than a case of the sniffles. A mild cold at most.

What about you?

Do you believe MANFLU to be a real disease?

Or is it really just a manufactured malady, created by men, for men, as an excuse to moan and carry on like big babies?

Is it just an excuse to take to their beds?

Inside a typical male Infomaniac reader’s bedroom


  1. Well, I've polled Sarge, my resident man, and he maintains that sometimes men actually have the flu--as he put it, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

    I on the other hand have my doubts.

  2. I have to admit that the Action Man Atom bed seems like the best comfy place to recover from the manflu.

  3. Manflu? Count me out, as I've never had it, lol.

  4. XL: Bravo!

    LEAH: I should like to know what makes this cigar-smoking "Sarge" the spokesman for his sex.

    XL: You have an Action Man Atom bed, haven't you?

    You just keep getting more and more attractive.

    GINRO: Are you sure?

    Perhaps I should take your temperature.

  5. coupled with the monthly premanstrual syndrome the man flu can be quite bothersome at best.

  6. heh heh...

    *wonders what flavor "sarge" most enjoys in is presidential cigar*

  7. Mmmmm, please, lol.

    The only time I've taken to my bed ill was when I had pneumonia, and that was only because the doctor told me she'd forcibly hospitalise me if I didn't.

  8. A real man can hold his Flu.

    It's just another ploy to procure sympathy sex. Unlike women, men still want to have sex when they are sick..
    and the fact that they are at home with the Manflu and already in their jammies makes it seem plausible.

  9. VOICES: I wonder if "Sarge" knows about Leah's deviant daydreams concerning Alan Rickman.

    GINRO: Bend over then and be quick about it.

    A queue is forming.

    DONN: Take a number so you're next in line to have your temperature taken.

    The back flap in your jammies should make this easy.

  10. All that testosterone fluing round here, all these toughies ... I happily admit to be sick of manflu from time to time. Uncared. lost. abandoned by the roadside ...

    *ächz stöhn*

  11. Why is it men can survive damn near cutting off a limb with a chainsaw (I have seen the scar across his kneecap - he used duct tape to close it as he didn't want to go to the hospital for stitches cuz of the needles!) but damn near DIE when they get any kind of a virus???

  12. If I had bed linnen like that I'd never leave my bed.


  13. You can not be serious about that CyberPete! de gustibus ...

  14. MJ can I take your temperature too then? I promise it has numbers written on it.

  15. MAGO: *ächz stöhn*


    BOXER: No, no, no.

    I am not taking your temperature too!

    PONITA: Duct tape...

    Is there nothing it can't do?

    CYBERPOOF: It would be a step up from your Cinderella bed linen.

    MAGO: Sad but true.

    GINRO: No.

    Now don't make me take you over my knee.

  16. Spoilsport, lol.
    Oh alright MJ, for you I'll do anything...anything that is except send pictures of my naked quivering buttocks.

  17. Actually Don makes a good point about men wanting sex even when they're ill. Women have said to me "OMG! You could be on your death-bed and I know what your last wish would be!!!"
    And I'm guessing I'm not the only one, lol.

  18. Wmoen never understand . Us men are seldom withouth pain


    Women are ill more!! Fact!!

  20. For the record, Mistress, I am recovered! I have fought with the Manflu and emerged victorious, indeed triumphant.

    I just have to remove the last of this gloop from my nose and all traces of ManFlu will have been erased.

    And I am stronger for it...

  21. The man flu is a real thing.

    In medieval times thousands died from it.

    The horror.

  22. Man flu?
    Don't you mean wimp flu?

  23. Fammy recovered from the manflu with assistance from me in the royal jacuzzi.... I believe there were lemons, bubbles and razors involved.

    But it worked! And he is now working on world domination of germs, bugs and viruses.... so that manflu will become a thing of the past.

    MJ, duct tape can do absolutely everything!

  24. I have plague. It makes my knees hurt. I am also very lazy.
    Men enjoy wiping themselves with scented tissues.

  25. The only sure fire cure for the manflu is to get hog whimperingly drunk.

    Alcohol also wards off the dreaded manflu virus, which is why I imbibe frequently and to excess.

  26. I am seriously ill with Manflu, but I rarely mention it, preferring to suffer in silence.

  27. We will wipe our bits on anything Miss Scarlet .
    On second glance that duvet set IS JUST SO COOL , why dont they make this stuff in king size

  28. Scarls: Is that prose? Or one of the Hycoo things? Sounds suspiciously litterary to me... Especially for someone claiming to be ill.

    I can verify everything that Ponita says... Especially whilst she is still holding the razor...

    And yes, there are things that duct tape can do, but are better done with a razor. Really!

  29. Suffering. Drinking. Silence.

    Jausa, and Papa Hem vanishes in the Finnish woods ...

  30. it does exist...if only in their minds...

  31. No Fammy, I am rubbish at haikus [5,7,5] but thank-you.
    Beastie... this is how your duvet gets to be stinky. Tut.

  32. I want a bed like that.

    No, actually I want to be in a bed like that. With Action Man.

    Demonstrating ManBlo - which is very real.

  33. most men i know rarely get ill, but when they do - you'd think they were hanging by mortality's finest thread with all their carry-on!

    Famulus did moan like a bit of a girl about his man-flu though, didn't he?

  34. the projectivist: I am a Thespian, I'll have you know. I have to ponce around and make everything more dramatic than it would be for anyone else darling...


    Euuugghh. Sorry, it appears that someone gave me the wrong pills...

    I'll have you know that every detail of my Near Death Experience was factually correct.


  35. Bunch of wusses!

    Tickersoid never gets flu.

  36. GINRO: Your “quivering buttocks” were the last words I read before I retired to my boudoir.

    I am holding you personally responsible for the ensuing nightmares.

    BEAST: I’ll show you pain.

    HARDHOUSE: Damn you and your statistics!

    *shoves clipboard down Hardhouse’s Ginch Gonch*

    FEMMY: I ask that you clean up the trail of Kleenex you’ve left all over this blog.

    MAXI: You’re just trying to get me to kiss your buboes better.

    KAZ: Wimp flu?

    You’re hired as head nurse at the Infomaniac Hospital.

    PONITA: If duct tape can do everything, as you claim, can you please use it to cover BEAST’s big gob?

    And while you’re here, I’ve been meaning to ask you…

    What on earth have you got on your head?

  37. SCARLET: Your knees hurt because you spend too much time on them.

    GARFY: *pictures Garfy hog whimperingly drunk in his purple velour suit*

    FROBI: The word “stoic” comes to mind.

    BEAST: What Scarlet said about your stinky duvet.

    FEMMY: Wait ‘til Ponita gives you a bikini wax!

    MAGO: Is this a literary reference?

    Or are you hallucinating?

    DAISY: I’ll take that as a no.

    SCARLET: Beast disgusts me with his stinky duvet.

    Would it kill him to do a load of laundry once in a while?

  38. KAPI: I’m picturing both of you with bendable joints in unspeakable poses.

    Then He-Man walks onto the set with his Power Sword and…

    (to be continued)

    PROJECTIVIST: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    We accept Aussies here as long as you’re not wearing one of those silly cork hats.

    I recognize you from a number of blogs including Donn’s, Femmy’s, XL’s and T-Bird’s.

    You really get around!

    FEMMY: Are you a lipstick thespian?

    TICKERS: Perhaps you’d like to tell us instead about your IBS with a prolapsed rectum?

  39. Mine is black and has chinese or japanese symbols on it at the moment. It would have been Kyli At Home had I found a company that would ship outside the UK.

    The Action Man curtains are a bit much though but he isn't half bad is he.

  40. Yep.. I'm off my knees and I'm planning a raid to rid the world of Beastie's stinky duvet. This duvet is responsible for all known bugs [and some unknown], quite frankly, it needs to be burnt.

  41. When with the ManFlu®*, I get loaded on NyQuil® then I don't care if I'm sick.

    * Suggested Dating Service usage.

  42. Women don't believe me when I mention my men only venereal disease...

  43. Men are such babies when they get sick. That's why I leave the house whenever the Hubby gets sick.

  44. CYBERPOOF: Is Kylie not making enough money from her perfume sales that she needs her own line of home décor as well?

    You should buy stocks.

    SCARLET: Put Beast’s duvet on the bonfire, Guy Fawkes-style!

    XL: NyQuil®?

    I’m not sure we want to promote the Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service as a meat market for junkies.

    MUTLEY: Women need only feel your nose to tell whether or not you’re healthy.

    RANDOM: And make sure you turn off your cell phone while you’re out.

  45. MJ, I will have you know that I am wearing my native garb - a Viking helmet with horns!!! Being Icelandic gives me the right to parade about in that silly thing pretty much any time I want to. I am a northern variety of Xena, Warrior Princess.

    I don't just do bikini wax jobs - I will do a Manzilian if any of the male bloggers have the 'balls' to let me near them with a razor....

    Speaking of de-hairing.... did anyone not notice our sickly friend at the top has shaved his legs????

  46. manflu .. is that when men make you ill?

    I have that.

    And a nasty cold.

    From not wearing knickers.

    See .. men DO make me ill.

  47. Who knows, maybe I do have stock in Kylie Inc.

    Would be a good investment, that's for sure.

    Not like the people who were betting on Madonna making it to Australia. Bwahahahahahahhaa.

  48. PONITA: When you perform your manscaping on the Men of Infomaniac, I suggest you use the Jenna Jameson Hot Trimmer to add flair down there.

    Comes with 10 reusable Bikini Hair Designs: Lighting Bolt, Heart , Star, Triangle, Chili Pepper, Arrow, Check Mark, X, Tear Drop, and Jenna's signature "V".

    CARNALIS: Fresh air is good for your private bits.

    At least you have good personal hygiene!

    CYBERPOOF: I don’t know why Kylie hasn’t yet made you a spokesman for her empire.

  49. I've had colds every now and then, but I've been fortunate enough not to have come down with the manflu. Must be one of those European diseases, like the plague or hooliganism

  50. Me neither, maybe because we are so dear friends and all.

  51. "Fresh air is good for your private bits."

    Perhaps you could come and explain that to my neighbours. There I was, waving my todger out the window to give it some isn't my fault if drivers don't pay attention to the road.

  52. The Chili Pepper design sounds interesting.

  53. EROS: I love shouting “Hooligans!” during a televised European football match.

    The word is underused here in North America.

    CYBERPOOF: I suppose Kylie doesn’t want to mix business with pleasure.

    GINRO: Are you advertising your body as an amusement park?

    What ride in particular were you exhibiting?

    MAGO: Let’s hope it’s not red hot.

  54. Eh? I don't think we're on the same page here. But *he whispered huskily* at least I know you're going to have nightmares again...muahahahaha!

    And I just realised (yes I can be a little slow on the uptake occasionally), if the 'thought' of my naked quivering buttocks gives you nightmares what on earth do you want a bloomin' photo of them for then?

  55. GINRO: Submitting your bare bare buttocks is a requirement here on Infomaniac regardless of whether they're static or quivering.

    Mistress MJ had images of a plate of Jello. Or aspic.

    Between images of your naked quivering buttocks and you waving your todger about wildly out the window, I'm not sure I'll sleep tonight at all.

  56. And Mistress MJ received aesthetically fulfilling picturesque impressions too. It is a rite de passage, Ginro. Like all those little scars the bushmen ritz in the boys skin. Or for better understanding: When you become a made man the picture of the saint is burnt in your hand ... feel the pain of self-degradation and give it all to the Mistress.

    It's rewarding.

  57. Mago, pardon?

    MJ, it isn't a requirement that they be naked now is it? After all, I can think of Famulus', and Mutley's for starters. Although I found Mutley's a little strange as I'd expected a dogs arse but instead was greeted with a man in some kind of swimwear.

  58. MAGO: You are wise in the ways of Mistress MJ.

    GINRO: Click here to read my interview with Mr. Mutley and you’ll see the man behind the dog.

    If modesty is a concern, you may leave your underoos on but Mistress MJ prefers the bare buttocks… preferably not quivering as this may cause a blurred image.

    Just strip down and do it, for heaven’s sake.

  59. Ginro, I do believe you are thinking of Hardhouse's arse - he was clad in those Ginch Gonch in a striking white with red trim.

    Fammy's lovely arse was bare to the air.... I could have reaching in the computer and given it a playful pinch!

  60. PONITA: Sometimes it takes a woman wearing Viking horns to tell it like it is.

  61. Ethnology, right?

  62. MJ: I always tell it like it is.... I was raised good and proper. Nothing like the flat side of a broadsword to the arse to learn you your manners as a youngster.

    Besides, it is fun wearing Viking horns in public - scares the bejeezus out of babies and old ladies!

    And the men like a girl in horns....

  63. We're getting dangerously close to 69...

  64. Yes, Ponita you're right. I got Famularse mixed up with Hardarse, lol.

    MJ, I just enjoyed a few minutes of laughing at my wizard wheeze. I was going to smear melted chocolate on my bum and take a photo but not tell you it was chocolate. Then I remembered that if I am now allergic to chocolate I'd best not go near it, dammit!

  65. 67, but a long way to go.

  66. Now for 69....

    Ginro, do you know if you are allergic to chocolate? It probably won't do any harm on the outside of you - just the inside.

    But now she knows....

  67. BITCHES: Continue to chatter amongst yourselves.

    Mistress MJ is leaving town for a day or so and must now go about the business of posting Filthy Friday.

    p.s. I knew Ponita would be 69.

  68. I was supposed to be 69 but I was too busy being a 70 to notice. ha!!

    manflu is real.

    real pathetic.
    real disgusting.
    real putrid.

    Damn, Mago, you really know your way around all that there Sacher-Masoch lovey dovey talk. *takes three cold showers, imagines quivering buttocks, takes three more*

  69. Yes, Ponita, if I eat chocolate my hands blister up and it takes days to heal. Even if they're micro particles of chocolate. I was not best pleased to discover it, lol.

    And I hadn't realised it was near to Filthy Friday. I've been sat here all evening thinking it was Tuesday, lol! Bed time for me soon I think.

  70. thank you, MJ
    i choose to take that comment as a compliment, the one about me 'getting round' - preferring to believe that you admire my social finesse, not that you think i'm a giant slut.

    i rarely wear a hat with corks, choosing instead the understated elegance that is The Shell Suit.

  71. FN
    You shower that often because this water evaporates that fast, Dear.

  72. you make
    ..........Or is it really just a manufactured malady, created by men, for men, as an excuse to moan and carry on like big babies?. sound like a BAD thing!