Monday, August 11, 2008

The Filthiest Nations

I’m compiling a list of the Top 10 Filthiest Nations.

I’m not talking about their hygiene (although we could factor that in, on second thought) but rather on which country’s peoples are most likely to act perversely, shag yer Ma when your back is turned, drink all your hooch and then complain when they’ve emptied your liquor cabinet, and, well… you get the picture.

My vote for first place goes to The Filthy Irish

Wiping up the rear, a close second goes to The Filthy Scots

I’m fairly certain the Germans fit somewhere into the equation based solely on their bizarre sexual deviancies but I haven’t decided on their ranking yet…

Same with the English. If the Englishmen and Englishwomen who read Infomaniac are any gauge to go by, you lot rank in the Top 5, for sure...

Englishman Beast's bottom

The Canadians, though, don’t even make it to the Top 20, obviously…

Typical Canadians

I can’t compile this list on my own so over to you now, bitches.

Who gets your vote for the Filthiest Nation?
Back your argument up with examples!


  1. Does First Nations count? What about Knudsen Nation?

  2. Well, I'd like to add the Vatican to that list--populated by child molesters and thieves and drunks in long, outdated dresses (and horrible hats). Also, them priests like to preach that 'condoms are evil' just so they can screw people bareback...sick bastards!

  3. I'm quite fixated on the banana shot and am having trouble with a comment at present. I'll be back.



  4. eroswings is kinda annoying me at the moment. Guess why?

  5. Hmmm...Well the first on the list would be those the ass shots and they are true in form! Then second on list would be any of those from the East (anyone from the Desert...for god's sake sand gets in all the cracks and creases...). And then the Germans would be third! Ok...that is my top three and will be back with the rest! *wondering off scribbling notes on the filthest...?*

  6. I believe I speak on behalf of Scotland when I say "thank you". We are indeed one of the most polite, well mannered, good natured, tea-total nations on the planet. Our culture of welcoming other less refined countries to our shores is legendary. Just the other day I took time out to show your sister and your mother my almighty Scottish club.
    I'm sure they will take great pleasure in telling their friends exactly what it is that a Scotsman wears under his kilt.

    Sorry about the stains on your carpet.

  7. The Poles!!!!!! (no examples,just a hunch...........)

  8. Speaking as a filthy American, the U.S.A. should definitely be in the top five. In America we spend billions on sex (and that's not even including our prostitutes or politicians)...i.e.:
    The Business Of Smut: What Is It Worth?

    *Adult Video $500 million to $1.8 billion

    *Internet $1 billion

    *Pay-Per-View $128 million

    *Magazines $1 billion

    Total $2.6 billion to $3.9 billion.

    Info. courtesy of Forbes

    Some Veggie Porn for ya's:




    I find your blog quite entertaining! I found ya via Jimmy Bastard and The Boys.

    "The Mad Celt's Blog Lists"

  9. as you are canadian...i am voting for canada as you surely put them over the edge...and yes that is a compliment not an insult :)

  10. The Romanians.

    Filthy pervs the lot of them.

  11. They are all filthy devils with nasty foreign habits Miss MJ

  12. Any nation east of Krakow. What you describe in the first paragraph is the perfect start in the week for them. No special examples needed, just see the news.

  13. EROS: I wondered which smart ass would be the first to mention First Nations.

    BOXER: I think we’re both annoyed by Eroswing’s mention of The Knudsen Nation.

    Perhaps Eros is jealous of our membership privileges.

    ROBYN: While you’ve that pencil in your hand, I suggest you conduct some man-on-the-street interviews.

    Get back to me with your results.

    BOLLIX: The Scots, you say, are legendary for welcoming less refined cultures to your shores?

    'The Scots', observed G. Bisset-Smith in 1907, 'are a notoriously migratory people'.

    We’ve been taking in you filthy lot to OUR shores for centuries!

    Now put down that caber before someone loses an eye!

    TONY: I take it you’re using your good self as the main example?

  14. MADCELT: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    You’ve done an excellent job of convincing me that the Yanks should be up for consideration as filthiest nation.

    Demerit points, however, for being a ginger. You poor thing.

    Now, which of your many blogs is your main blog?

    And what is that photo of BEAST (scroll down a bit) doing on one of your blogs?

    DAISY: Aha, but you see, I am of Irish ancestry which explains everything, does it not?

    GARFER: I take it you’ve done your homework on this subject?

    BEAST: Do all countries use their bottoms as fruit baskets though?

    MAGO: Explain please. I’ve the news on now and all they’re going on about is restoration work on our infrastructure. Zzzzzzzzz.

  15. canadians are indeed the filthiest fuckers out there.....never tip see......and that's the dirtiest move of all.......

    yes I have a one tracked mind......

  16. MANUEL: Listen up, you filthy Irish fecker.

    I tip 20 per cent.

    Even to the waitress this weekend who, when she brought me my meal, served me Guinness in the TIN!

    Couldn’t be bothered to pour it into a glass first and leave the tin at the bar.

    No, she brought THE TIN to the table!

  17. No it's the filthy French.
    They think of sex 20 times every second - it's required by law over there.

  18. Why is Shane McGowan drinking tonic water?

  19. KAZ: I think of sex 20 times every second but that doesn't make me French.

    Shane's pissed into the bottle.

  20. I dated a British guy once. He was quite kinky and his hygiene was terrible so I'll vote Brit.

  21. Italians - trust me - Italians

  22. PRU: Was it Beast?

    FROBI: Mistress MJ likes the filthy Italians.

  23. I think the germans are probably the filthiest, then the english.

    Obviously the saintlike danes don't even rank top 50

  24. Do all countries use their bottoms as fruit baskets though?
    Despite claims that this photograph is of me Miss MJ . I have a more muscular physique and a perfectly serviceable fruit bowl on my kitchen table. As to the fruit storing habits of the continentals ....I have no idea , but I would put nothing past the filthy French

  25. No-one mentioned the Dutch? As soon as I get anywhere near Amsterdam my spider sensors tell me I'll have various pills and powders and there'll be a bog brush up my shitter by nightfall. Maybe it hasn't hit your radar because they're so relaxed about it. why nawt? a bog brush, yersh, iss nice, no?

  26. CYBERPOOF: You mean all Danes aren’t like you?

    BEAST: We’ve all seen your flabby physique and we’d like to know what happened to your plan to shape up at the gym?

    CRUMP: A bog brush up your shitter?

    Where do YOU hail from, Crump?

    You’re definitely a contender for filthy practices and don’t blame the Dutch for your wicked ways.

  27. It's kind of hard to top the bananas in the arse thing...but the German midgets take a close second.

    Now, if you had German midgets with bananas up their arses, that would be #1.

  28. I vote Yemen ... it's only six letters away from semen.

  29. RANDOM: German midgets with bananas up their arses?

    *checks photo files*

    JOE: Well spotted, Joe!

    And Yemen only has a handful of athletes in The Olympics, suggesting they're all too busy shagging at home to be bothered competing.

  30. uh hello... the chinese i think take the cake... "used panties vending machines" okay...

  31. The Japanese are dirty little devils as well , its all that poking and tweaking with chopsticks that does it.

  32. VOICES: The Chinese are doing it now?

    They were selling them in Japan at one time but there was a crackdown by police and now it's illegal in many Japanese prefectures to sell schoolgirls' used panties.

    BEAST: You're doing the best you can to distract us from your fruit bottom, aren't you?

  33. my bad... i think yer right. it was japan... but im sure the china folks sold them the equipment to do it!!! so have you made any decisions yet?

  34. Of course not.

    We can't all be saints

  35. VOICES: Relax.

    It’s not even noon yet.

    My money’s still on the Filthy Irish, based on personal experience.

    CYBERPOOF: Oooo…Naughty Boys of Denmark!

  36. "RELAX! DONT DO IT...."

    *hums musical lyrics to song he doesnt know all the words for to*

  37. From the street-corner habitues flashing me and my mom old-school in the seventies, to the spit-and-rag entrepeneurs of the '80s, who would run at you with a tire iron if you dared shun their window-washing methods, to the cranked-up hookers of the '90s, to the present-day overpriced Sodom that it has become, hands down...Nation of Brooklyn!

    Go Brooklyn!

  38. I vote for Lesbos.

    I don't think I need to say any more (except: Not you Dora!)

  39. Kinky! I would like to see that!

    IDV is onto something, but it's more traumatising than filthy though.

  40. Texans!

    Everyone knows Texas is a seperate country from the Us, especially Texians themselves.

    Where do they teach kids in schools that Science is a Commie Conspiracy and the universe was made by a vindictive asshole with a beard? Saudi Arabia and ... Texas!

    Where do they raise presidents who want to destroy the poorest countries on earth because they're about to destroy us first? Iran ... and Texas!

    Where are the obsessed with Family Values but talk about Gay Bum Sex all the frelling time? Where do they have bizarre religious cults who scream in demeted hatred till they cum, at the thought of gays, greens, lefties, gays, women, blacks, gays and Hillary Clinton burning in hell?

    Saudi Arabia, Iran ... and Texas!

  41. VOICES: Relax don’t do it
    When you want to suck to it
    Relax don’t do it
    When you want to come

    LEAH: Huh. Sounds like Vancouver.

    IVD: Isn’t it all just women in Birkenstocks who look like they drive lorries?

    Not you, Dora.

    CYBERPOOF: What is IVD on?

    Or off?

    Is he off his meds again?

  42. KAPI: You snuck in the back door...hahaha.

    Yes! Texans!

    Our very own Texas cowboy Eroswings is proof of that.

    Just look at him!

  43. The average Russian / White Russian / Ukrainian (where's the difference, let God sort'em out) dies with 50 from alcohol. Or gets stomped to death by his best buddie while gulping industrial booze. That is good because the world gets rid of one more brutal people slapping ignorant idiot. These nations are that corrupt that you have a list with prizes for academical "honours", titels etc. For 500 dollares you can become a real Dr. phil.
    In Ireland, Scotland, Germany etc. people drink for celebrating something, having a good time. These eastern nations gulp shit because it is normal, because there is nothing else to do ... somewhere east of Krakau you can see the high water mark - up to this point the wave of enlightenment came, from that point onwards it's dark middle ages again. They prefer simple solutions over there as the caucasian affair shows: Bomb it, shoot people to crap, call it a stabilizing action ... filth without fun.

  44. MAGO: Filth without fun?

    What’s the point?

    Can I still order a White Russian at the bar?

  45. The Irish. No argument there.

  46. I think he needs a dose of magic potion.

  47. HEFF: You bet your dingleberries they are!

    CYBERPOOF: A potion or a lotion.

    Applied by Tim or Eroswings.

  48. Germans, hands down. German sickness goes way beyond Germany. Most of the filthy perverted acts in Slovakia, Hungary, Poland, Switzerland etc... are actually perpetratred by ethnic Germans.

    Even the wholesome Nation that pleases the Lord, America, has a German infestation problem.

    Jeffrey Dahlmer? German. Ted Bundy? German. Larry Flynt? German.

  49. This comment has been removed by the author.

  50. Well duh; me. if its the most brutal, swinish, unbathed, perverted,any-port-in-a-storm kind of filthy nation you're looking for, I nominate the Iran of the early 80's. see, they all went to college here during the 70's. back when, these greasy armani clad misogynists would shit in alleys and wipe their ass in a stripe on the wall, trade gold lighters for a kiss on the street and then call the girl a whore and slap her, and suck each other off in the park irregardless of the time of day. yeah, each other. let alone what they did to the young boys seling it on 3rd and Yamhill, and the younger the better and the more badly beaten he was left.
    none of it counted, was happening in america. among farm animals.
    by '80 they were all back home with wives and families. i'd just looooooove for some of their wacky hijinks and madcap antics from back when to somehow come to light for their whole nation to see. yeah, good muslims my red ass.

  51. *forgot what he was going to say*

  52. TROLL: Claudia Schiffer, German. Heidi Klum, German.

    The work of the devil, yes.

    NATIONS: That’s a checkmark for Iran, then?

    VOICES: What were you saying?

  53. WOW! The troll is right! Holy Shit...those pervs were some filthy bastards...but still up there with the Scots. Ask Bollix who got his non pantie wearing self in a tizzy! Easy big boy *stroking his ego...gasp...oops...scottish club not so mighty after all!*
    All in good fun and sport!

    MJ thanks for stopping by dear heart and I really don't think Canadians are filthy. Except you really do bring it to a close first...*evil grin*

  54. ROBYN: How do you know Bollix doesn't wear panties?

  55. MJ,

    Pretty sure Claudia Schiffer married a gay ventriloquist hermaphrodite. One can be good looking and still be a filthy german pervert.

  56. Of course you'd have Shane McGowan to represent us Irish!

    You should have asked me for the pictures of Bono giving Gabriel Byrne a rusty trombone, now that's proper filthy!

  57. The GERMAN filthy pervert is the BEST pervert of the world!