Available from t-shirthumor.com
Via [Snarky Malarkey]
Friday, March 31, 2006
Poop Happens
Over at A Long Way From Om, Ginny discusses her reluctance to pick up the “doggie bombs” on her lawn.
Ginny needs a company like A-1 Pooper Scoopin’.
You might say it’s a crap job. Diane Blanchard is a professional pooper-scooper. She makes a living picking up after people’s pets.
The snow in Calgary, Alberta can really pile up so Diane has her work cut out for her. But she has an eye for excrement and can spot a frozen "poopsicle" even under a blanket of snow.
Diane guarantees her work. If she misses a doggy deposit in your yard, she’ll return to pick it up. She’s number 1 in the number 2 business.
So if you’re sick of patrolling your pooch’s poop, see if there’s a poop scooping service in your area. Look in the Yellow Pages under ‘Pet Care Services.’
In other dog poop developments, Make Your Own Dog Waste Composter.
"Dog-dooly" dog waste composter
Perfect Sideburns
Perfect sideburns in five minutes!
Perfect Sideburns is a fast, easy, accurate method for trimming sideburns for that fresh barbershop look everyday. It’s like having your own personal barber at home.
Don’t miss the video demonstration on the ‘How It Works’ page.
Adopt-a-Marmot
The Vancouver Island marmot is a uniquely Canadian species, found only on Vancouver Island in British Columbia.
Sadly, a population estimated in the mid-1980s to be over 300 animals is currently estimated to contain just over 150 animals, making them one of the rarest and most endangered mammals in the world.
When you join the Adopt-a-Marmot Club, you help protect the endangered Vancouver Island marmot every day of the year.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Husband on Strike
“All I want my wife to do is stop spoiling our children and allowing them to wreck our love life! Husbands have feelings too! Husbandonstrike.com is home of the National Association of Desperate Husbands, and I'm not only the CEO and Director, but I'm also a card carrying member!”
Michigan husband James Wilson is fed up with his wife allowing the kids to sleep with them. He wants you to visit his site and sign his petition.
Trek Passions
Trek Passions is a free online community and SciFi personals site for science fiction lovers, including but not limited to lovers of Star Trek and Star Wars.
(Thanks First Nations)
The Naked Cowboy
What comes to mind when you think of New York City? The Statue of Liberty? The Empire State Building? The Naked Cowboy?
Clad only in a hat, cowboy boots and briefs, the Naked Cowboy lights up Times Square. Rain or shine, he poses for photos with passers-by, making as much as $1,000 a day.
I had a bare empty apartment, with mirrors on every wall. I owned a spoon, a knife, a fork, a bed, a guitar and thirty-six pairs of underwear. I have an overwhelming fascination with being the center of attention. What would you have done?
–Naked Cowboy
Enjoy this panorama of the Times Square crowd gathered around the Naked Cowboy.
Coconut Orchestra
Guinness World Record™ officials certified that 1,789 people participated in the “World’s Largest Coconut Orchestra.”
Patrons and visiting fans of the Broadway musical Spamalot were given free coconuts and asked to clop along to a rendition of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”
Christopher Sieber, who stars in the show, explained the use of the clacking coconuts: "Originally when they did the movie (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) they couldn't afford horses.”
“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” (from The Life of Brian) is guaranteed to cheer me up on a bad day. Turn on your speakers and join me in a singalong.
Infomaniac’s favourite bit of the song…
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
JOHN WATERS: ‘Til Death Do Us Part
Coming soon to Court TV. John Waters narrates ‘Til Death Do Us Part as the Groom Reaper. The series takes real-life spousal murder cases and dramatizes the relationship from wedding through murder through trial.
"Actually, in real life," he said, "I hate weddings. So I think if this show's a hit, no one would ever invite me again."
Dutch Legomen
In honour of Renee, my one and only reader from the Netherlands, Infomaniac presents the Dutch Legomen.
A Pox on You
Pox Plush Doll
GIANTmicrobes make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times the actual size!
They’ve got everything from the cuddly Common Cold to an amiable Athete’s Foot.
Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.
Don’t you feel better already?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Japanese Women’s Wrestling
Joshi girls
Joshi-puroresu is the Japanese term for women’s pro wrestling. ‘Joshi girls’ are renowned for their athleticism.
Watch a Joshi-puroresu tournament in action.
Long video clip. You may want to settle in with a tub of popcorn and a Coke. And stand far back from the ring.
More on Japanese Women’s Wrestling here.
Wiener Wear
Your little wiener deserves the best. So dress up your dachshund in style.
Wiener Wear in Kaslo, British Columbia will spice up your wiener’s wardrobe.
Most Frequently Shoplifted Books
The most frequently shoplifted books are by the following authors:
Martin Amis
Paul Auster
Georges Bataille
Charles Bukowski
William Burroughs
Italo Calvino
Raymond Chandler
Michel Foucault
Dashiell Hammett
Jack Kerouac
Jeanette Winterson
And the most shoplifted book? The Bible.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Caution: Cat Vomit
This sign is a must-have in the Infomaniac household.
Says 'Caution: Cat Vomit' on one side and 'Cuidado: Vomito de Gato' on the other.
Stands up over standard cat vomit to prevent in-steppage.
Beer Spa
The chocolate spa is so yesterday.
Time to move on to the beer spa with its beer baths, beer massages, beer wraps and beer cosmetics.
Guests at the Chodovar Family Brewery in the Czech Republic can swim in beer while enjoying a pint poured at a bath-side bar.
Attention spa creators: Please combine the chocolate spa with the beer spa for the ultimate spa experience.
Bad Things That Can Happen To You
One nipple gets hard and pokes your shirt all day but the other one stays normal. Check.
Someone leaves a Barry Manilow CD playing over and over again in repeat mode. Check.
Someone doesn’t like your Web site. Double check.
How bad can it get?
Uncomfortable
Lousy
Crushing
Epic
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Chocolate Celebrities
Chocolate Elton John
OR
Chocolate Brad Pitt
Which one would you eat? And who would you like to see sculpted in chocolate?
OR
Chocolate Brad Pitt
Which one would you eat? And who would you like to see sculpted in chocolate?
Buck Owens
Buck Owens and his Buckaroos
Ever walked the streets of Bakersfield? Country music legend Buck Owens walked those streets, played its honky-tonks and popularized the “Bakersfield Sound.”
Buck died Saturday, March 25 at his home in Bakersfield, California. He was 76.
Watch as Owens fan Dwight Yoakam teams up with Buck in 1988 for a duet on “The Streets of Bakersfield.”
‘Streets of Bakersfield’ by Buck Owens
I came here looking for somethin'
I couldn't find anywhere else
Hey I’m not trying to be nobody,
I just want a chance to be myself.
I've spent a thousand miles of thumbin',
Yes I've worn blisters on my heels
Trying to find me something better
Here on the streets of Bakersfield.
Chorus:
Yeah you don't know me but you don't like me,
You say you care less how I feel
But how many of you that sit and judge me
Ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?
(instrumental)
Spent some time in San Francisco,
I spent a night there in the can
They threw this drunk man in my jail cell,
I took fifteen dollars from that man.
Left him my watch and my old house keys,
Don't want folks thinking that I'd steal
Then I thanked him as I was leaving,
And I headed out for Bakersfield.
Chorus:
Yeah you don't know me but you don't like me,
You say you care less how I feel
But how many of you that sit and judge me
Ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?
(Repeat chorus)
How many of you that sit and judge me
Ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
Night of a Thousand Stevies
Put on your batwing sleeves and grab your tambourine.
Tickets are on sale now for Night of a Thousand Stevies; May 19th at the Knitting Factory in New York City.
It's your annual chance to wear your best Stevie drag and celebrate with a thousand other Stevie Nicks fans.
You say you haven’t got a thing to wear? Get your Stevie look at Designs by Bear.
Now twirl yourself around, honey.
Protect Your Banana
Big or small, the Banana Guard fits them all.
Available in nine colours including Glow in the Dark.
The Banana Guard. Because nobody likes a bruised banana.
