tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post7979301570440783607..comments2024-03-28T21:27:46.327-04:00Comments on Infomaniac: A Briton Walks Into a PubThe Mistresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-15609294804850085562007-04-30T09:12:00.000-04:002007-04-30T09:12:00.000-04:00JJ: I long for the days of the naked Olympics.KAV:...JJ: I long for the days of the naked Olympics.<BR/><BR/>KAV: *falls into dreamlike trance*<BR/>Everything you say is the gospel truth. The rest of you, shut it. Kav has spoken.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-29279041534059013022007-04-30T08:44:00.000-04:002007-04-30T08:44:00.000-04:00This is getting far too complicated. The Irish are...This is getting far too complicated. The Irish are all handsome (or beautiful, in the case of the men) charmers with plenty to say and not much time to say it in. As for the rest of them, well, once we get chatting to you you'll never want to talk to anyone again, so you'll never even bother your hole finding out.Kavhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09115958548299347779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-56372171852346503202007-04-29T15:09:00.000-04:002007-04-29T15:09:00.000-04:00Can't tell what nationality the dude in the green ...Can't tell what nationality the dude in the green shirt is 'cos his head's up some other dude's arse....jungle janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146260682331683654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-54484001454524112502007-04-28T11:27:00.000-04:002007-04-28T11:27:00.000-04:00KNUDSEN: Thanks for retrieving the lost comment as...KNUDSEN: Thanks for retrieving the lost comment as I didn't want to have to go fishing in your G-string to pull it out. That old trick is getting stale. You're gonna have to come up with a new angle to get me into your trousers.<BR/><BR/>TONY: I'll have to raise my glass to you tonight from afar. I can't go to the airline and request a ticket for a town whose name I can't pronounce now can I?The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-36366859533755006492007-04-28T11:03:00.000-04:002007-04-28T11:03:00.000-04:00"What You Drinking Girl?" Im not your typical Tigh...<I>"What You Drinking Girl?"</I><BR/> Im not your typical Tight fisted Yorkshire/Scot........as long as its Vodka & you buy me another the next round,no problem!<BR/>I will meet you @ The Frog& Bucket in Mytholmroyd @ 7.30 pm tonight.'if your late i will start without you!tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03746435400444226665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-5419282967584387242007-04-27T23:41:00.000-04:002007-04-27T23:41:00.000-04:00Oh crap I commented yesterday but I got it all stu...Oh crap I commented yesterday but I got it all stuck in my G mail or g string account so it never showed, what I said was.<BR/><BR/>SID should be able to back me up on being able to tell catholic (Irish then) and Prods (British) in Norn Iron apart. <BR/>Its a survival thing you just know by the clothes and haircut but if they are wearing Rangers or Celtic tops that really helps. <BR/><BR/>Tickers looks English, Kav is generic and Tony well the slav side wins,a good answer he had about the pub, me I look like a Greek God but less hairy.Old Knudsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05939476225847425724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-39828413203167933892007-04-27T22:34:00.000-04:002007-04-27T22:34:00.000-04:00HE: FN's not making up that name "Chuckanut Drive....HE: FN's not making up that name "Chuckanut Drive." It's a scenic drive along Washington State's coast. I bet FN's chucked a few nuts along that byway.<BR/><BR/>FN: Flick you some hotsauce? Not without some foreplay first, you nasty ho.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-65898753661735266762007-04-27T20:59:00.000-04:002007-04-27T20:59:00.000-04:00*chomping burrito* yo, mj, flick me some hotsauce,...*chomping burrito* <BR/>yo, mj, flick me some hotsauce, bitch!FirstNationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13387748372500478809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-52539006779433565992007-04-27T20:58:00.000-04:002007-04-27T20:58:00.000-04:00come on down to teddybear beach, homoE. just off c...come on down to teddybear beach, homoE. just off chuckanut drive, it's where where the men are hairy and the geoducks are nervous.FirstNationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13387748372500478809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-46426081272659489142007-04-27T19:13:00.000-04:002007-04-27T19:13:00.000-04:00I saw plenty of Wrecks that had 'washed up' on sho...I saw plenty of Wrecks that had 'washed up' on shore at Wreck Beach..actually I wish that they had atleast 'washed up', bunch of old Hippys((shudders)) <BR/><BR/>I was expecting 'Rack' Beach not 'Wretch' Beach!Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-26930831155994935652007-04-27T19:01:00.000-04:002007-04-27T19:01:00.000-04:00TONY: "Any more questions?"Yeah, I was going to as...TONY: "Any more questions?"<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I was going to ask if you'd buy me a drink. But since the sexy Pole/Scot is from Yorkshire, I guess that's a moot point.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-66114873876979571262007-04-27T16:53:00.000-04:002007-04-27T16:53:00.000-04:00I always use "The Zimmy Pub Test".If you walk into...I always use "The Zimmy Pub Test".<BR/>If you walk into a pub & a bloke scowls at you chances are he is a Scot(they are a misery drunk).If you walk in and he is smiling & relaxed then he might be Irish(they are good at drinking).If he blanks you he is from London (obvious).If he offers to buy you a drink he is <I>not</I> from Yorkshire.<BR/>And, ladies, if he is handsome:wearing a tux in a James Bond-manner........he might well be half-Polish/half Scottish with a sexy Hebden Bridge accent.<BR/>That was easy!Any more questions?tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03746435400444226665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-10406513628129216862007-04-27T15:29:00.000-04:002007-04-27T15:29:00.000-04:00*revives FN with a burrito**revives FN with a burrito*The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-80342270633268910872007-04-27T14:59:00.000-04:002007-04-27T14:59:00.000-04:00*passed out on carpet next to beanbag chair, decor...*passed out on carpet next to beanbag chair, decorated with olive pits and beer labels*FirstNationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13387748372500478809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-60834680750175051212007-04-27T14:24:00.000-04:002007-04-27T14:24:00.000-04:00HE: Even if Stormin' Norman's buffalo burgers were...HE: Even if Stormin' Norman's buffalo burgers were being offered at a discount, I wouldn’t go down to Wreck Beach. <BR/>a) No Porta-Potties and I’m not peeing in the ocean.<BR/>b) It’s never going to stop raining.<BR/>c) I don’t want to see everyone’s droopy, flaccid bits. Unfortunately there’s more of those on the beach than the perky, tight bits.<BR/>The gay part of the beach is a treat though.<BR/>*reconsiders*<BR/><BR/>I haven’t seen yours! Post pics so I can include them on Monday’s Roundup.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-21455129521872675922007-04-27T14:06:00.000-04:002007-04-27T14:06:00.000-04:00So are you off to Wreck Beach this weekend?I know ...So are you off to Wreck Beach this weekend?<BR/><BR/>I know it's out of fashion,<BR/>And a trifle uncool.<BR/>But I can't help it,<BR/>I'm a bloggin' fool.<BR/>It's a habit of mine,<BR/>To watch the pants go down.<BR/>On 'Ole Wreck Beach, <BR/>Everything droops down.<BR/><BR/>From nine till five I have to blog instead of work.<BR/>The job is very boring I'm an office clerk.<BR/>The only thing that helps me pass the time away.<BR/>Is knowing I'll see some Willy at Wreck Beach Sunday.<BR/><BR/>Wreck Beach, <BR/>far away in Time.<BR/>Wreck Beach,<BR/>never see a tan line!<BR/>Wreck Beach, <BR/>far away in Time.<BR/>Wreck Beach,<BR/>everybodys seen mine!Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-89538410242845595732007-04-27T11:31:00.000-04:002007-04-27T11:31:00.000-04:00STEVE: What about the long trail of bogroll on you...STEVE: What about the long trail of bogroll on your shoe? Is that an indicator of where you’re from?<BR/><BR/>HE: Me a monarchist? Pah!<BR/><BR/>In Vancouver everyone looks the same due to the lack of sunshine. And the prevalence of Gore-Tex as the Provincial Fabric.<BR/><BR/>MUTLEY: And the “bad teeth” image that hasn’t completely died out yet over here when people think of Brits. Although you can see that Tazzy has a lovely set of chompers.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-37027646598335026672007-04-27T10:32:00.000-04:002007-04-27T10:32:00.000-04:00Its more complicated than that I'm afraid ... peop...Its more complicated than that I'm afraid ... people from Cornwall usually wear knee length stripey socks, those from Kent wear smocks and no undies - but those are countyry people. Townies are usually dressed in either pin striped suits or tailored shorts and short sleeved shirts and a tie, like someone from the Afrika Korp. Apart from London where everyone is either a rastafarian or live in cklands and has an inexplicable job in the City. Apart from old people....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-84957897446708972542007-04-27T10:29:00.000-04:002007-04-27T10:29:00.000-04:00Everyone in the UK looks the same thanks to the ab...Everyone in the UK looks the same thanks to the abscence of natural Sunlight.<BR/><BR/>MJ, as it has become quite apparent that you are CanaDUH's most outspoken Monarchist, I have a copy of the Charter of Rights for you to burn as you mourn the egalitarian morass left behind by the termination of the Divine Right of Kings...<BR/>oh, and a new picture of Oliver Cromwell for your dartboard!<BR/><BR/>Serfs Up!Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-9093817292807439032007-04-27T10:21:00.000-04:002007-04-27T10:21:00.000-04:00Firstly - I am NOT from Dorset, I am from London. ...Firstly - I am NOT from Dorset, I am from London. You can tell that from the lack of a scruffy, worn out tweed jacket and no long piece of straw hanging from my mouth.<BR/>And secondly - due to generations of unfortunate crossbreeding between the English and all of their subordinate nations it is almost impossible to tell the difference between any of us now! It is just a case of waiting 'til they open their gobs.<BR/>You can't always tell the difference then, though.<BR/>Really, why bother trying?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-36199910980983954612007-04-27T08:31:00.000-04:002007-04-27T08:31:00.000-04:00AWA: Bet you can’t keep quiet all day.CONNIE: Dave...AWA: Bet you can’t keep quiet all day.<BR/><BR/>CONNIE: Dave Thomas was separated at birth from Paul Merton.<BR/><BR/>Admit it. You want Celine Dion.<BR/><BR/>VICUS: Tazzy’s not smiling. He has gas.<BR/><BR/>TICKERS: So basically you’re saying the Welsh are all big hairy tits.<BR/><BR/>FROBI: And the Englishman is wearing a wig. If he’s from Bournemouth.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-27768967949947238202007-04-27T07:54:00.000-04:002007-04-27T07:54:00.000-04:00This is easy.If an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman...This is easy.<BR/><BR/>If an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman walk into the pub. You can tell the Scotsman because of his spots (too many deep fried Pizzas & Mars Bars) also he will be hanging back hoping the other will buy the round of drinks.<BR/>The Irishman will be wearing a little green hat with a shamrock on it and have a bright red beard.<BR/>The Englishman will look like Michangelo's David - only with a bigger penisFrobisherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14139984461096994586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-9341119274610005172007-04-27T04:59:00.000-04:002007-04-27T04:59:00.000-04:00Once welsh women reach 40 thier bodies consist alm...Once welsh women reach 40 thier bodies consist almost entirely of breasts.<BR/>This isn't a good thing.Tickersoidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03836158766198278595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-11210221314035765252007-04-27T04:58:00.000-04:002007-04-27T04:58:00.000-04:00All Welsh over 40 years old have moustashes. Inclu...All Welsh over 40 years old have moustashes. Including the women.<BR/><BR/>They are all portly except those from Pontypool. In Pontypool the men all look like Orks. Once they reach 40 they become portly and walk with sticks.Tickersoidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03836158766198278595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-43971513828686988622007-04-27T04:19:00.000-04:002007-04-27T04:19:00.000-04:00Why have you got Paul Merton, and Englishman, in a...Why have you got Paul Merton, and Englishman, in a picture to illustrate Canadians?<BR/><BR/>There's no easy way to tell where a Brit is from just by looking at their features or the way they're dressed.<BR/><BR/>You asked in the previous post's comments why the English, Irish, Scots and Welsh don't get along too well. The answer is because we've had millenia of invading each other, taking over each others' land, women, etc. So much so that it is now a genetic reaction.<BR/><BR/>BTW <B>nobody</B> wants Celine DionAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com