tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post4731771560267372373..comments2024-03-28T21:27:46.327-04:00Comments on Infomaniac: The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition!The Mistresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-81566131897051722472007-06-04T03:37:00.000-04:002007-06-04T03:37:00.000-04:00IVD: You nasty little bitch!And to think I let you...IVD: You nasty little bitch!<BR/><BR/>And to think I let you win!The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-63244397065959118852007-06-04T01:18:00.000-04:002007-06-04T01:18:00.000-04:00"As evil wood elf MJ shed her facial skin, the old..."As evil wood elf MJ shed her facial skin, the old gnome thought: 'Excellent! Just enough to make some shorts. They'll match the 3 piece suite, curtains and bedlinen that we've already made from the rest of her saggy, old skin."<BR/><BR/>So, it's goodnight from me.<BR/><I>And it's goodnight from him.</I>Inexplicable DeVicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04187364843729214996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-47855950109029877222007-06-03T18:20:00.000-04:002007-06-03T18:20:00.000-04:00HE: Let me smell your breath.Have you been out a-w...HE: Let me smell your breath.<BR/><BR/>Have you been out a-wassailing again?The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-55461468565614114752007-06-03T14:53:00.000-04:002007-06-03T14:53:00.000-04:00Actually this Wicked Gitch of the West picture sor...Actually this Wicked Gitch of the West picture sort of reminds me of Christmas Songs..<BR/><BR/>I saw mj sniffing Santa's drawers,<BR/>Underneath the mistletoe last night <BR/>She didn't see me creep <BR/>Down the stairs to have a peep <BR/>She thought that I was f*cked up in my head but she's a freak!<BR/><BR/>or<BR/><BR/>Don we now green gitch apparel, <BR/>Fa la la, la la la, la la la. <BR/>Smell the balls of last nights wearer, <BR/>Fa la la la la, la la la la. <BR/>Cough away from old butt gasses, <BR/>Fa la la la la, la la la la. <BR/>Inhale the toots from elvish asses, <BR/>Fa la la la la, la la la la! <BR/><BR/>or<BR/><BR/>Green Elf Shorts resting on my head awhile,<BR/>Old farts crippling my nose, <BR/>You'll probably stare at my boobs and just smile,<BR/>just like that horny little gnome.Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-29477368891555010522007-06-03T14:48:00.000-04:002007-06-03T14:48:00.000-04:00TICKERS: Time is running out! Put on your high hee...TICKERS: Time is running out! Put on your high heel sneakers, Tickers. Act fast!<BR/><BR/>EDDIE: I knew you had one more in you. And now you've blown your wad.<BR/><BR/>SID: You make a good point. But if Barnsley gets any more contaminated, all the townsfolk will be forced to evacuate.<BR/><BR/>What's that big poofy cloud of noxious gas over Martin and John's house, by the way?The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-22463138698774717572007-06-03T13:40:00.000-04:002007-06-03T13:40:00.000-04:00"Smelling the filth from the shorts made MJ realis..."Smelling the filth from the shorts made MJ realise they were only fit for one place.Barnsley,Yorkshire"<BR/><BR/><BR/>Amen.S.I.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15360630347283039214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-72089984793962535762007-06-03T13:19:00.000-04:002007-06-03T13:19:00.000-04:00After 3 long hours playing Marco Polo, the Gnome b...After 3 long hours playing Marco Polo, the Gnome begins to suspect that MJ is actually enjoying wearing the shorts as a blindfold.<BR/><BR/><B>Fuck it....one last one</B><BR/><BR/>It's not that role playing during sex offended the Gnome, he just felt uncomfortable with the whole Abu Ghraib scenario that MJ seemed to enjoy so much.<BR/><BR/>I think I'm done....Eddie Waringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-29627899864298453472007-06-03T04:57:00.000-04:002007-06-03T04:57:00.000-04:00* panics! thinks, 'MJ put the shorts on her head.....* panics! thinks, 'MJ put the shorts on her head......' No I'm loosing it *Tickersoidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03836158766198278595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-75715385458407591172007-06-02T23:13:00.000-04:002007-06-02T23:13:00.000-04:00END OF DAY SIX – MORE CAPTIONS, MORE CLICKSONLY ON...END OF DAY SIX – MORE CAPTIONS, MORE CLICKS<BR/><BR/><BR/>ONLY ONE MORE DAY TO SUBMIT! Remember you have until midnight Pacific Standard Time on Sunday, June 3rd to submit your captions. That’s 8:00 a.m. on Monday, June 4th for those of you in the British Isles. The rest of you, do the math for your own time zone.<BR/><BR/>At last! Another Canuck joins the frontrunners. HOMO ESCAPEONS (HE) from Winnipeg, Manitoba is our latest frontrunner along with California’s FAT SPARROW. FAT SPARROW coughed up an impressive 10 captions all at once. The only person who’s ahead of her for number of captions submitted so far is the prolific and profane SID.<BR/><BR/>Let’s take a look at our frontrunners (in no particular order):<BR/><BR/>INEXPLICABLE DeVICE (IVD)<BR/>MAIDY (Maidink)<BR/>STEVE<BR/>MARTIN & JOHN (M and J)<BR/>SPIKEY<BR/>MUTLEY THE DOG<BR/>EDDIE WARING<BR/>CHAUCER’S BITCH<BR/>MS MAC<BR/>CHRISTINE<BR/>SID<BR/>HOMO ESCAPEONS (HE)<BR/>FAT SPARROW<BR/><BR/>Sunday is the last day to get those captions in, bitches! Or if you’re in the UK, you have ‘til 8:00 am on Monday. <BR/><BR/>A winner will be selected and posted on Monday, June 4th a.s.a.p.<BR/><BR/>You’ve all been brilliant… well… most of you. <BR/><BR/>So if you have more clever captions up your sleeves, Sunday’s the day to submit.<BR/><BR/>Good luck!!!The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-61586905478330921542007-06-02T18:14:00.000-04:002007-06-02T18:14:00.000-04:00"FAT SPARROW: 10 comments. Is that all you can man..."<I>FAT SPARROW: 10 comments. Is that all you can manage?</I>"<BR/><BR/>Sorry, my writers went on strike.Fat Sparrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13281847009588579898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-66813600862762824932007-06-02T10:58:00.000-04:002007-06-02T10:58:00.000-04:00HE: My first inclination was to deduct points from...HE: My first inclination was to deduct points from you for installing Tom Jones’ voice in my head for the rest of the day. But I’m feeling magnanimous so go ahead and join the lineup as a frontrunner.<BR/><BR/>SID: What did I tell you about misbehaving? Who’s a naughty boy? I’m going to be out and about today and I’m counting on you not to further desecrate this compo in my absence.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-3117595165351728572007-06-02T10:36:00.000-04:002007-06-02T10:36:00.000-04:00"Due to the downturn in the worldwide rubber marke..."Due to the downturn in the worldwide rubber market,gimp MJ improvised"S.I.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15360630347283039214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-33018165028677188742007-06-02T10:23:00.000-04:002007-06-02T10:23:00.000-04:00Oh shit! Points deducted for blasphemy.Must do bet...Oh shit! <BR/><BR/>Points deducted for blasphemy.<BR/><BR/>Must do betterS.I.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15360630347283039214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-55319975636767911552007-06-02T10:21:00.000-04:002007-06-02T10:21:00.000-04:00Gnome mutters"Thank God she put them on her face"Gnome mutters<BR/><BR/>"Thank God she put them on her face"S.I.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15360630347283039214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-22456363703021679442007-06-02T09:53:00.000-04:002007-06-02T09:53:00.000-04:00It's good to touch,the green, green, ass of gnome....It's good to touch,<BR/>the green, green, ass of gnome.Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-64580882818210668972007-06-02T09:40:00.000-04:002007-06-02T09:40:00.000-04:00FAT SPARROW: 10 comments. Is that all you can mana...FAT SPARROW: 10 comments. Is that all you can manage?<BR/><BR/>CYBERPETE: Never you mind. It's enough that we share shoe lust.<BR/><BR/>M and J: I'm feeling the love from you.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-65115211530943071622007-06-02T09:06:00.000-04:002007-06-02T09:06:00.000-04:00"I can't see!""Oh my gawd! My legs! Where are my ..."I can't see!"<BR/><BR/>"Oh my gawd! My legs! Where are my legs?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-32878014036692946342007-06-02T09:04:00.000-04:002007-06-02T09:04:00.000-04:00Despite all efforts to smother the bitch, it conti...Despite all efforts to smother the bitch, it continued to live.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-76614899582743773772007-06-02T05:21:00.000-04:002007-06-02T05:21:00.000-04:00I love this idea.The history of the travelling pa...I love this idea.<BR/><BR/>The history of the travelling pants!<BR/><BR/>But unfortunately I am not creative enough to actually write something.CyberPetehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08162744785244322710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-5211788656869297662007-06-02T04:55:00.000-04:002007-06-02T04:55:00.000-04:001) "I told you already, I'm not doing the Safety D...1) "I told you already, I'm not doing the Safety Dance!"<BR/><BR/>2) "Side effects of Ambien may include daytime drowsiness, nausea, and waking up in the forest with green elf shorts on your head and a gnome staring at you strangely"<BR/><BR/>3) "And presented in our gallery catalog, an original artwork titled 'Acid Trip At Renaissance Faire' "<BR/><BR/>4) "Album cover art that Enya rejected"<BR/><BR/>5) "Album cover art that Stevie Nicks approved"<BR/><BR/>6) "I don't care what the fuck the script says, this wasn't in Tolkien! I demand to see Peter Jackson!"<BR/><BR/>7) "Next, on 'Masterpiece Theater'..."<BR/><BR/>8) "Let's play 'Pin The Tail On The Gnome'!"<BR/><BR/>9) "Marketing ideas rejected by the Irish Tourism Board"<BR/><BR/>10) "MJ, our undercover reporter, is taken deep into the forest to see the gnomes' pixie dust lab firsthand"Fat Sparrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13281847009588579898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-7645443385830441512007-06-02T00:46:00.000-04:002007-06-02T00:46:00.000-04:00END OF DAY FIVE – AND THE COMPO’S STILL ALIVEAs we...END OF DAY FIVE – AND THE COMPO’S STILL ALIVE<BR/><BR/>As we head into the weekend remember that you have until midnight Pacific Standard Time on Sunday, June 3rd to submit your captions. That’s 8:00 a.m. on Monday, June 4th for those of you in the British Isles. The rest of you, do the math for your own time zone.<BR/><BR/>Day Five proved that the compo is still alive as several of you contributed your wit and cunning captions<BR/><BR/>No new frontrunners to report so the top contenders remain as follows:<BR/><BR/>INEXPLICABLE DeVICE (IVD), MAIDY, STEVE, MARTIN & JOHN, SPIKEY, MUTLEY, EDDIE WARING, CHAUCER’S BITCH, MS MAC, CHRISTINE, AND SID.<BR/><BR/><BR/>SID outdid himself with the Lumberjack Song caption. All together now...."Oh...She's an Infomaniac and she's ok..." In fact, SID single-handedly disrupted my workplace as his caption caused me to collapse in apoplectic fits of laughter, clutching my sides as I fell to the ground and unable to get a grip. If nothing else, SID will receive a prize for he who made me laugh the hardest. As I’m typing this, MAIDY has typed a comment in asking, “Okay, SID's take on the Lumberjack song is my personal fave thus far. Could it be he may become TWICE the winner?” MAIDY, I’m with you on this one. For once we agree. It’s going to keep me up at night, this DILEMMA. Sod you SID for being such a funny cunt. You’re still a big eejit though.<BR/><BR/>Following hot on SID’s heels were MARTIN AND JOHN, securing their place as frontrunners with today’s multiple entries and eliciting more peals of laughter from an amused MJ. These two are definite favourites.<BR/><BR/>CHRISTINE (formerly known as KRISSTEEN) maintains her place as a frontrunner and contributed another caption today (though I’m going with her first one.) And the language that comes out of her mouth! <BR/><BR/>EDDIE WARING contributed another couple of gems today thus assuring his place as a frontrunner.<BR/><BR/>Honourable Mentions today go to JUNGLE JANE and PIXIE SPRINKLE. You kooky coupla gals.<BR/><BR/>Points awarded to Homo Escapeons (HE) … or should I say HO? And thank you for giving it your best shot for Canada, a country sadly underrepresented in this compo.<BR/><BR/>GEO, once again I ask you…is that a caption or a comment? MAIDY, could you please ask him WTF? Point awarded for it being funny, whatever your intent, GEO.<BR/><BR/>BOCK: You’ve got it! I hope you haven’t lost too much sleep over this.<BR/><BR/>So sharpen your wits, bitches, as we head into the final weekend of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition. <BR/><BR/>See you here on Saturday.The Mistresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07109289531733623207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-38855909772586880452007-06-02T00:17:00.000-04:002007-06-02T00:17:00.000-04:00Okay, SID's take on the Lumberjack song is my pers...Okay, SID's take on the Lumberjack song is my personal fave thus far.<BR/><BR/>Could it be he may become TWICE the winner?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-15376888336605194242007-06-01T21:23:00.000-04:002007-06-01T21:23:00.000-04:00Number 69, yeah? How appropriate.I'm still none t...Number 69, yeah? How appropriate.<BR/><BR/>I'm still none the wiser, but it appears to involve a person with part of their clothing missing wearing the missing clothing from somebody else on the wrong body part.<BR/><BR/>I must look into it further.Bock the Robberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06670303189589399025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-25428090786217960162007-06-01T21:21:00.000-04:002007-06-01T21:21:00.000-04:00Hi HO! Are you stuck in a rut?Need a Cheap 'Ho-lad...Hi HO! <BR/>Are you stuck in a rut?<BR/>Need a Cheap 'Ho-lady'?<BR/>Then say Hello to Envy, the Cheap Ho-lady!<BR/><BR/>Travelhotitty is an upstart internet vacation company that has a remarkably familiar advertising campaign that features a talking gnome and a hooded ventriloquist gal known as ENVY, the Cheap Ho-Lady.<BR/><BR/>Envy is your ticket to go round the world in a single night, Cheap! <BR/>What the hell, why not take the path MOST travelled and just get it over with. <BR/>Just think of all of the Hair Miles that you’ll earn? <BR/><BR/>Go ahead, your best friend Willy will be ‘Green’ with Envy! Literally!<BR/>So don’t forget to check out our 'Penicillin 4 Penis-ill’n' Insurance Plan.<BR/><BR/>Hi HO!Romeo Morningwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826410608415260786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24611442.post-59494337388501903322007-06-01T20:18:00.000-04:002007-06-01T20:18:00.000-04:00Alan the Garden Gnome chuckled as launched his "Ma...Alan the Garden Gnome chuckled as launched his "Maddie McCann" line of green elf shorts...jungle janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146260682331683654noreply@blogger.com