Friday, June 26, 2009

On Hols

Hold my calls.

Mistress MJ has taken The Houseboys on holiday…

We haven’t gone far. You'll find us poolside if you’d like to join us…

You missed a spot, bitch.

See you back here soon!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Queen is Crowned

The winner of The Effing Queen Competition will be announced in a moment.

But first we would like to thank the many bitches who participated, thinking they were the Effing Queen.

Naturally, our first choice (one would think) was CyberPete as really; you can’t find a bigger Queen than that, can you?

But the crown jewels, or rather, the cocktail napkins go to…

Drum roll please…

The winner of The Effing Queen Competition is…

GEOFF in Kent, England!

Hip hip!

Geoff won with this entry…

As a matter of fact I am the effing Queen because all you'll get out of me on Christmas Day is five minutes of shit.

For those of you outside The Colonies who are not privy to Royal goings-on, Geoff is referring to the Royal Christmas Message broadcast annually by Queen Elizabeth II to the Commonwealth at Christmas.

Anyway, we’re not sure how Geoff will react to his prize of the Effing Queen cocktail napkins pictured here…

Afterall, he and his wife Betty don’t entertain nor do they partake of cocktails of an evening.

Nonetheless, perhaps they’ll use them to catch the crumbs as they nibble HobNobs with their tea whilst viewing Coronation Street.

Congratulations, Geoff!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Queen Competition

It’s contest time again on Infomaniac!

"As a matter of fact I am the effing Queen!"

Tell us why YOU are the effing Queen and you can win the cocktail napkins, pictured above!

Yes, we know there are only 3 asterisks after the “f” but we like to think that the word “effing” is inferred.

Complete this sentence to win...

“As a matter of fact I am the effing Queen because …”

Enter NOW, bitches!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Straight Story

Complete the story on page six…

image via [Fabulon]

And then what happened?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Walk a Mile in My Jimmy Choos

Imagine, for a moment, that you are Mistress MJ.

Tell us about a typical day in your life if you were in her shoes.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


It turns me upside down.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

It's Glamour Time

Mistress MJ is inside her “Glamour Bonnet” today and cannot be disturbed.

(click to enlarge)
photo [via]

Come back on Sunday or leave a message with The Infomaniac House of Beauty.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Filthy Friday

Nom nom nom...

(click pics to enlarge!)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Skills Swap

If there is anyone who hasn’t yet offered their services to Mistress MJ, there is still time.

foto via [Fabulon]

But in the meantime, we have something special for you.

In the spirit of giving, Mistress MJ has arranged for all of you to swap skills.

This means that if you have volunteered to be Mistress MJ’s cocktail waitress, for example, that one of our other bitches may ask for your services for the day.

Perhaps one of you bitches is gagging for a foot massage. Just call Mago!

Here, so far, is the list of skills on offer :

PONITA: Private nurse.

KAZ: Cocktail shaker.

KEVIN: Right hand man and Overseer/Supervisor.

SCARLET: Front end of a pantomime cow.

BEAST: Arse end of a pantomime cow.

SAVANNAH: Driver … with getaway skills.

HEFF: Hair removal expert.

PEEVISH: Saucy secretary in charge of outside correspondence… DICKtation a specialty!

EROS: Alibi when The Law comes lookin’.

FENG: Prime Minister of Anal Foreplay and Foreign Affairs.

JASON: Furniture Fairy, i.e. ultra faggy decorator.

CYBERPETE: Cocktail waitress.

XL: Official Pillow Fluffer.

MAGO: Foot masseur.

MEAN DIRTY PIRATE (aka Ayem8y): Ambassador for Special Sexual Needs. We have not worked out the details of Mean Dirty Pirate’s job title but we have ascertained that it will involve organizing The Special Sexual Olympics. AND he is already asking for an assistant. What a diva!

BITCHES: You are instructed to decide which of the above skills would be most beneficial to you, and tell us why. Whomever holds those special skills will be yours for the day!

This is your opportunity to spread your talent around…

So long as you are available when Mistress MJ snaps her fingers, of course.

Anything you say, Mistress MJ

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Be My Bitch

After all the work Mistress MJ did for you in the previous post, she has decided to put you lazy bitches to work for her.

It’s time for each of you to decide how you could best serve Mistress MJ.

A few coveted Houseboy positions have already been filled as follows:

XL: Official Pillow Fluffer.

MAGO: Foot Massuer.

MEAN DIRTY PIRATE (aka Ayem8y): Ambassador for Special Sexual Needs.
(We should qualify that this does NOT mean that he is servicing Mistress MJ sexually but rather that he is …. Perhaps we should let Mean Dirty Pirate explain it himself.)

There are vacancies to be had chez Infomaniac for both men and women.

Decide what position you want (bonus points for creativity) and we’ll agree to hire you.

Or not.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Poll Results!

The results of the poll are in!

Here is what you, Mistress MJ’s bitches, want to see here on Infomaniac…


Foto via [Yummy of the Day]

Surprisingly, there were fewer demands for handsome young beefcake than expected.

But those who do crave beefcake include Inexplicable DeVice (IVD), CyberPete, Ponita, and Roses.

Attention beefcake lovers: ALL your handsome young beefcake needs can be met at MAC’s Yummy of the Day blog.


Mistress MJ’s personal favourite category is shared by Wil (!), and Mean Dirty Pirate (aka Ayem8y).

And Darius Whiteplume who summed it up by saying, “Old naked fat guys make me feel good about my own physiognomy.”

Despite those of you, like EmmaK who said, “Please no more naked old codgers,” you can bet more nekkid old geezers will be on the menu for a long time to come.


A perennial favourite, boobies are the category of choice for NWTRunner, Maxi Cane (who wants tits AND toes), MAC, and Feng.


We’re a bunch of crafty bitches here at Infomaniac.

Voting for more crafts were Anonymous Boxer, Beast (who wants a pattern for Old Knudsen’s cap) and Miss Scarlet who said, “I want to see more banana arrangements.”

Miss Scarlet, we are assuming the knitted banana is a gift for Beast?

Garfer’s bizarre request for knitted poutine (Canada’s national dish) fell on deaf ears. However, we’ve managed to find a knitted full English breakfast…

[found here]

Betty’s unique request for “sewing circle orgies” will require some footwork so in the meantime we ask her to settle for a little cross stitch…

Get your Subversive Cross Stitch kit here.


Some of you requested a combination of categories. For example…


Jason, who coined the term “BEEFCAKE CRAFTS,” asks for “Crocheted penis cozies, pom pom testicle decor perhaps.”

Here ya go, Jason…

Knitted penis cozy


A request from new bitch Jack (who ARE you, Jack?) who asked for “Crafty old geezers please,” leads us to a new category: Crafty Old Geezers.

At first we were stumped by his request but we managed to find this fella who is happily stringing beads!...


Leah piped up, “But what about handsome old beefcake? You know how I feel about the jowly set.”

Oh for the love of…. HOW many times to we have to post Alan Rickman for you?!...


Yet another new category, that of “Titty Crafts” was formed when Leah suggested, “Crafts, definitely. Tits, certainly.”


KAZ (that Mancunian minx) asks for “Footballers in the shower.” For you Americans, that means soccer players in the shower. Happy to oblige, Kaz. You know Mistress MJ loves her some scantily-clad footballers…

Mean Dirty Pirate (aka Ayem8y) asks for “Trannies, Freaks and OLD BEARS”…

BamaTrav voted to see more of himself. Talk about a big ego! Apparently he goes for the cop look…a look we’ve covered previously on Infomaniac

BamaTrav checking to see if his balls are still on the table

Mutley suggests, “Maybe more about allotments.” Will this do, Mr. Mutley?...

Beast wants “recipes.” This request for recipes was backed up by Mago who requested “cooking” and who added he’d like a segment on stain removal…particularly yogurt stain removal (a problem that plagues Mistress MJ)…

First Nations is supposed to be on hiatus but she emerged in a puff of smoke and she has a mighty long wish list as follows:

-pale,sneering, uncut british starveling yoooth

-retro gazongas (beehive hairdos a plus, stalks of celery optional!)

-hardcore body mod

-branding, bdsm, latex, ponyplay, medical roleplay, looning, yiffing, and leather fetish.

And her last request…



A few of you crave variety and want a little of everything. Those who opt for the spice of life include Mikey, Richard, and Eroswings.

Of course there HAD to be somebody who couldn’t make up their mind. We’re referring to The Jelly Monster who said, “I'm torn between the first guy and the tits......ummmmmmmmm dunno.”

We are not sure what Inner Voices is asking for when he says, “tits in the work place? tits in space? *wanders off, chuckling to himself about muppets*” and we aren’t bothered so long as he doesn’t emit bodily fluids (as he is wont to do) on our blog.

KUDOS to those, like Savannah, who said “my vote is for whatever miss mj wants because it's all about her!”

That list would include Damien, Mago, NWTRunner, and Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer…XL.


On behalf of the staff here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, The Infomaniac Dancers and The Infomaniac Orchestra) we thank you for participating in this spur-of-the-moment poll.

Mistress MJ must take the next two days off from blogging and draw the curtain on the shock of what she has seen … the inner workings of your psyches.

Watch for a new post on Thursday.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


There have been rumblings from a certain Danish drag queen and a certain English poofter that we here on Infomaniac should post more pics of young male beefcake.

Therefore, it is time to conduct an informal poll of what our public wants.

Please vote for any or all of the following choices:


Foto via [Yummy of the Day]





Please state what “OTHER” might be.

You have all weekend to vote.

Results will be tallied on Monday.

Get voting, bitches!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Filthy Friday – Cops Edition

Sung to the theme song of the TV series “Cops”…

Bad boys bad boys
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you

Bad girls bad girls
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fan Frenzy!

Infomaniac All Girl Revue fandom has reached a fevered pitch.

Screaming, crying, yes, even FAINTING!...

Photo [via]

Diehard fans are at the edge of mass hysteria. There’s no telling what could happen! We are concerned for the girls’ safety. Not to mention keeping their already sizable egos in check.

And so the managers of the Infomaniac All Girl Revue turn this over to you.

How do you handle all the fame and attention that comes your way?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Overnight SINsation

An overnight sinsation, The Infomaniac All Girl Revue began a downward spiral into booze, sex and drugs. Not to mention trashing hotel rooms.

They’ve cleaned up their image and are ready to take their new act on the road…

“That was some fucked up shit we went through. Totally self-destructive. We didn’t want to live fast and die young even though it would have meant
good looking corpses. Something had to give.”


So of course The Infomaniac All Girl Revue will need a new playlist!


Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Titty Tuesday

Please welcome The Infomaniac All Girl Revue: a splinter band composed of former members of The Infomaniac Orchestra.

via [Arthur Ignatowski]

What do you suppose is on their playlist?

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Guess the Blogger


NOTE: If you’ve seen this photo on their blog previously and therefore know the correct answer, please do NOT identify the blogger. Let’s see if the others can guess!

This child grew up to be an Infomaniac bitch…

Can you guess who it is?

Watch this space on Monday when the answer will be revealed.


Have you guessed the identity of our little Infomaniac bitch yet?

Eroswings guessed correctly.

It’s HEFF!!!

And he hasn’t changed a bit!