Sunday, April 05, 2009

Free Donn!

Our Donn, Canadian citizen and winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, has been detained by Immigration officials in Mexico.

This story first broke via ace reporter Old Knudsen (read it here) who published this photo…



Old Knudsen explained, “Donn is only guilty of one thing, having a smile that could melt the heart of a heartless person.

Cub reporter Mago took up the slack where Old Knudsen left off. Read Mago's account here.

Mago goes on to say that Donn has been brought to the infamous "Vallarta-Hilton".

Infomaniac has obtained secret photographic evidence (thanks to new Infomaniac bitch Larry) that Donn is being held against his will at the Vallarta-Hilton …




Can you help this man?

Bring Donn back to Canada!

FREE DONN!!!

38 comments:

  1. You're right, MJ. It has been a while since I have been here. I feel my comment making abilities have suffered greatly.

    Case in point, I can't think of a thing for this post.

    *looks*

    Nope ... nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose"

    Janis Joplin


    FREE DONN!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think Donn lost his shorts in that last photo!

    Didn't WW say he was built like a brick shithouse???? Well built is a better term, methinks!

    *drools appreciatively*

    ReplyDelete
  4. *front door slams shut*

    *car engine revs*

    hang in there, Donn, am on my way ..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Did old knudsen steal Donn's speedo ???

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  6. i'd like to free him, into my pants!!!

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  7. Erm... Mr Coppens looks happy where he is?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  8. XL: Numero Uno!

    Bueno, gato, bueno!


    MAIDY: You're right, MJ. It has been a while since I have been here. I feel my comment making abilities have suffered greatly.
    Case in point, I can't think of a thing for this post.
    *looks*
    Nope ... nothing.


    Fine. Just go ahead and let Donn rot in some Mexican jail.


    XL: "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose"
    Janis Joplin
    FREE DONN!!


    Have you been into the Southern Comfort?


    PONITA: I think Donn lost his shorts in that last photo!

    Donn was being strip-searched!

    *drools appreciatively*

    What have I told you people repeatedly about leaving bodily fluids on my blog?


    CARNALIS: *front door slams shut*
    *car engine revs*
    hang in there, Donn, am on my way ..


    Before you meet up with Donn, you should get to know a few Canadianisms.

    The one he’s most likely to use when he sees you is "Schwing!"


    BEAST: Did old knudsen steal Donn's speedo ???

    At least he’s not wearing them on his head…

    Which is the type of behaviour we’ve come to expect from your sort!


    LARRY: i'd like to free him, into my pants!!!

    Attention, bitches…
    Party in Larry’s pants!



    SCARLET: Erm... Mr Coppens looks happy where he is?

    Mr. Coppens is putting on a brave face for the camera, Miss Scarlet.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think we should bring Donn to Denmark. I'll help keep him safe here.

    He'll never have to leave my flat again

    ReplyDelete
  10. OK ... OK

    Free Donn!!

    Do it for the Shorts - do it for Canada - do it for CyberPete!

    *keeps staring at his pic*

    Oh fuhkit, DO IT FOR ME!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. MJ, a towel is always at hand in my house.... you forget just what kind of dog I live with.

    *wipes drool off screen*

    ReplyDelete
  12. CYBERPOOF: I think we should bring Donn to Denmark. I'll help keep him safe here.
    He'll never have to leave my flat again


    Are you going to keep him high on aquavit?


    MAIDY: OK ... OK
    Free Donn!!
    Do it for the Shorts - do it for Canada - do it for CyberPete!
    *keeps staring at his pic*
    Oh fuhkit, DO IT FOR ME!!


    You’re back in fine form.


    PONITA: MJ, a towel is always at hand in my house.... you forget just what kind of dog I live with.
    *wipes drool off screen*


    Old Knudsen keeps a towel tied to his bed post.


    MAGO: Poor Donnn ...

    Where’s that “FREE DONN!” t-shirt I ordered?

    ReplyDelete
  13. That should be designed first: What to put on it? What colour-scheme? Hey, that's not a ram-bam-thank-you-Ma'am-action!

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  14. If that's what it takes, sure!

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  15. MAGO: That should be designed first: What to put on it? What colour-scheme?

    On second thought, why don’t you tattoo “FREE DONN!” on your bare bottom?


    CYBERPOOF: If that's what it takes, sure!

    Do you have anything else to offer Donn?

    ReplyDelete
  16. There is something suspicious floating in the pool next to Donn , I hope all that spicy food hasn't upset his tummy :-(

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  17. MJ - Didn't I notice an imprint, similar to the one above Donn's left nipple, on your arse cheek? I must learn to be gentle in future.

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  18. Because there's already "Hail - MJ!"

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  19. Um... Beast... that's the underwater light...

    *hands Beast reading glasses*

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  20. BEAST: There is something suspicious floating in the pool next to Donn , I hope all that spicy food hasn't upset his tummy :-(

    Ponita has cleared up that little mystery so no need to spread rumours.


    EMERSON: Didn't I notice an imprint, similar to the one above Donn's left nipple, on your arse cheek? I must learn to be gentle in future.

    That “M” above Donn’s nipple stands for MJ.

    Any more questions?


    MAGO: Because there's already "Hail - MJ!"

    Surely you must kiss your own arse then.


    PONITA: Um... Beast... that's the underwater light...
    *hands Beast reading glasses*


    Beast is at that “certain age”.

    Be kind.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Can't he just tunnel his way to freedom?

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  22. Hey! I am at *that* age too...

    @Garfer: depends on how many Margaritas he's had...

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  23. GARFY: Can't he just tunnel his way to freedom?

    Such a handsome man should not have to get his hands dirty.

    Is that the best you can do?


    PONITA: Hey! I am at *that* age too...

    Perhaps you should get together with Beast and compare notes.

    He can suggest a brand of incontinence pads that don’t chafe.

    ReplyDelete
  24. No, dear, I have others to do that for me. Variatio delectat.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I do but this is neither the time nor the place for that

    ReplyDelete
  26. MAGO: No, dear, I have others to do that for me. Variatio delectat.

    Oh you have houseboys too?


    CYBERPOOF: I do but this is neither the time nor the place for that

    Does it involve pickled herring or kippers?

    ReplyDelete
  27. OK.

    What happened to his tattoos?

    Also there is a very rigid tiny worm, trying to hide behind the tree....

    ReplyDelete
  28. I read this wrong....I thought there was some sort of Mafia sale on.....rage.....

    ReplyDelete
  29. This reminds me of the «South Park movie»... Blame the Canadians!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. GO ME!
    I ween I ween!

    Aye Carumba me ees so hayppee to be free and back een da Cana-da.

    Me can't wait to poses een mee Freakeen Green Elfay Shortsay!

    *can't shake my Spanglish accent..

    On behalf of everyone here at the homo escapeons conglomeration and cheese emporium, thank you.

    It is both an honour and a privelege to carry on this grand tradition and I would like to thank Cyberpete and the members of the FGES Academy.

    I can only hope that I may maintain the extraordinary level of creativity and decorum established by the illutrious gallery of previous recipients.

    I shall begin to make the rounds as soon as I have had a complete blood tranfusion and the week's worth of Freequila is drained from my persons.

    Ch'ayss!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sort of ... they need training, and discipline, it's a tough job.

    ReplyDelete
  32. HE'S FREE! HE'S FREE!

    Hola, amigo! Como esta?

    I bet you consumed all the tequila I couldn't when I was last there.... it gives me hives. *sobs*

    We need an update... now get to it.

    *inserts bigass needle into Donn's vein and transfuses 5 liters of pure maple syrup*

    ReplyDelete
  33. hmmm...I could help the guy by the pool. That's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  34. MUTLEY: OK.
    What happened to his tattoos?


    They were lasered off his body as a form of torture.

    Also there is a very rigid tiny worm, trying to hide behind the tree....

    A boa constrictor would look tiny when placed so close to the well-endowed Donn.


    MANUEL: I read this wrong....I thought there was some sort of Mafia sale on.....rage.....

    Bend over. I’ll give you a free whack.


    FABULASTIC: This reminds me of the «South Park movie»... Blame the Canadians!!!

    Everyone blames us for Celine Dion.


    DONN: HEY EVERYBODY…DONN IS FREE!!!

    *trips over piñata as everyone rushes to greet him*

    Okay, okay.

    Now that we know you’re safe and sound, where’s my pressie?


    MAGO: Sort of ... they need training, and discipline, it's a tough job.

    Oh tell me about it!


    PONITA: Hola, amigo! Como esta?
    I bet you consumed all the tequila I couldn't when I was last there.... it gives me hives. *sobs*
    We need an update... now get to it.
    *inserts bigass needle into Donn's vein and transfuses 5 liters of pure maple syrup*


    You are one freaky night nurse.


    JASON: hmmm...I could help the guy by the pool. That's for sure.

    Now that’s southern hospitality!

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  35. I only work nights for that special someone.... whoever that is.

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  36. The inventor of the blood pump ...

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