Monday, March 31, 2008

Question Time

I know the answer! Pick me! Pick me!

Can you help the people who’ve arrived on Infomaniac via Google searches, looking for the answers to questions such as these?…

What to do when you can't roll a joint?

Is it ok for men to paint their toenails?

Is it safe to finger your arse?

If you know the answer to any of the above questions, please leave your answer in the comments box.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Happy Birthday, Anonymous Boxer!

Join me in wishing a happy birthday to one of Infomaniac’s newest readers: Anonymous Boxer from Seattle, Washington, USA.

As you can see in the photo above, she has challenged me in the ring.

We are rivals for the pee-stained cap of Old Knudsen.

Knudsen's cap

I know some of you other bitches want the cap too but it’s rightfully mine.

George Clooney, give me back the cap, bitch!

You can read here how the cap fell into Clooney’s hands.

Anyway, back to the boxing match between me and Boxer.

Have you placed your bets?

I’ll give Boxer a good bitch slapping. Just the way I did here to Celine Dion.

It’s Celine’s birthday today too. Coincidence? I think not!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Gone Shopping

Is there anything I can get for you while I’m out?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Filthy Friday

What have you bitches done to deserve such a punishment?

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Pastor Will Bowen developed the A Complaint Free World plan based on the idea that good things will happen for you in abundance if you can leave your grumbling behind.

Pastor Bowen passed out purple bracelets to his congregation and offered them a challenge. "If you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing, take the bracelet and move it to the other wrist."

So every time you complain, you must move the bracelet to the other arm and begin all over again 'til you've gone 21 days without complaining.

Apparently, when you reach 21 complaint-free days, you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving and more enjoyable.

Complaint Free Quick Start Collection: Book, T-Shirt, Bumper Sticker and Bracelet ONLY $19.95 U.S.

But we at Infomaniac WELCOME YOUR WHINGING!

And you can whine here for free!

Go on and have a good old kvetch, a moan, a damn good RANT!

List the things you don’t give a fuck about.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Spring Cleaning

I have an aversion to housework.

So my household chores are usually performed by my fat-arsed Irish bitch, SID...

However, SID is detained temporarily at Fat Camp.

So in the meantime I’m in need of domestic services.

A number of you are already aware of my situation and have offered to help out.

Beast is particularly enthusiastic and has emailed a number of photos to me.

Enough is enough, Beast. Stop filling my inbox…

Old Knudsen claims he can spit and polish and never spill a drop …

Donn tries to impress me with the size of his tool…

Geoff proves he can make a good cuppa tea…

Tazzy and Piggy show me they’ve had domestic experience over at their neighbour’s house….

Even Ireland’s finest waiter, Manuel, tried to convince me he’s the man for the job with this pic…

And finally, Inner Voices shows off his big rig…

Who do you think I should choose to be my cleaning bitch?

And is anyone else interested in the position?

Once I’ve chosen, you’d better not disappoint me…

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Happy Birthday, Connie!

Happy Birthday to England’s biggest male lesbian: Connie the Convict.

Connie makes a grab for an unidentified woman’s tit

He's also beloved by the gays…

"The love that dares not speak its name"

I’ve baked Connie a cake but I promised Beast he could lick the icing.

We’re not sure what Connie does for a living but judging by the size of Casa Convict (a palatial estate somewhere in England) perhaps he’s a drug lord. Or a porn mogul.

Casa Convict

Does anyone know why Connie was sent to prison?

My guess, by looking at the photo below, is that he was jailed for a fashion crime.

Connie and his bitch, Tatas.

What the hell are Connie and Tatas wearing in the photo above? A tent for two?

And what is sniffing Connie’s arse, pray tell?

Madman Across the Pond

Right. Enough of Connie. Let’s get to the cake.

Enjoy your day, ya big lezzer.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Blogiversary, Infomaniac!

Welcome to the party!

Help yourself to the open bar as Infomaniac celebrates its second anniversary.

I’ve started without you.

How did I get this far? Remember when I almost threw in the towel?

But thanks to you lot….

Infomaniac readers

… I’ve continued on. And on. And on.

Entertaining all of you bitches for the past 2 years has made me feel dirty.

So dirty that I must accept Johnny Depp’s invitation to join him in the bathtub.

Party on!

Come back on Tuesday (I’m taking Monday off. Shut up) as we celebrate yet another Infomaniac reader’s birthday.

Thank you one and all (even Piggy) for making blogging fun and fabulous.

Now bring on the dancing boys!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Birthday, IVD!

Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) reading his birthday mail and laughing at a recurring theme…"39 Again?”

He’s the witch we love the most

Multiple personalities

One is your Host

He’s witchy

He’s bitchy

His wand it is twitchy

His cock it is warty

He’s well over forty

Long-time Infomaniac readers know that IVD plies his trade down at the docks in Norwich, servicing sailors from all over the world.

You’re also aware that, as a result of an occupational hazard, he’s suffered a rare, strange skin condition on his todger, as seen here…

The good news? The horrible affliction has finally healed.

The bad news? It’s spread to his balls.

Oh I almost forgot. Here’s your pressie…

Have a happy one!

Note: Birthday greetings for IVD can also be seen over at T-Bird’s place.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Easter Über Alles

Photo via [Tony]

Adolf Hitler was born on Easter Sunday, April 20, 1889.

But we have more important landmarks to acknowledge this Easter weekend.

Drop by Infomaniac on Saturday to wish a happy birthday to one of our readers.

And be sure to don your best frock and party hat for a big celebration of another kind on Sunday.

My lips are sealed ‘til then.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Fly Me

Infomaniac Airlines is now boarding.

Where do you want me to take you?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Pain in the Arse

My arse is sore just below the right butt cheek.

It aches whenever I’m sitting down, just below my right gluteal furrow. So technically, it’s not really my arse but my upper thigh.

Do I not have enough padding in this area to accommodate long periods of being seated?

Is my arse atrophying from blogging too much?

Or am I overextending myself physically (I walk a lot) and my arse wants me to have a lie down?

What is your diagnosis?

It hurts right under here, Doc

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Away Today

MJ has been called away for the day.

Amuse yourselves until Infomaniac returns on Wednesday.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Blank Me, I’m Irish

Have we missed anything?

If so, fill in the blank…

____ me, I’m Irish.

And all you bitches can

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet And Watch

Over at Beast’s, the conversation turned to nekkid shopping.

Where do you keep your wallet?

Infomaniac readers who wish to remain anonymous

And you wondered, in yesterday’s Infomaniac posting, where these fellas put their car keys and cigarettes while they partied…

Infomaniac to the rescue.

Here we reveal where to put your fags, your wallet and your mobile while you pursue a variety of nekkid pastimes….

Someday you’ll thank me.

Now go out and git nekkid!