Monday, November 17, 2008

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.




The following is an abbreviated edition of the Blogging Roundup as Mistress MJ has cramps and would prefer to spend time curled up in the fetal position.

As if that’s not hell enough, BETTY had to go and tell us that Reg Varney died. (BBC report here).





Reg was best known for his comedic role as bus driver Stan Butler in the British TV show “On the Buses.”

If you’re looking for me, I’m in front of telly watching my On the Buses Ultimate Collection. All seven series! All 74 episodes!





BEAST AND MR. FROBISHER:

What’s in your MANBAG?

That was the question of the week as both Beast and Mr. Frobisher compared MANBAGS, or “murses” as they’re also known.

This is Beast’s poor excuse of a MANBAG…



Pathetic, isn’t it?

And one can smell the pong from across The Pond!

The contents of the so-called MANBAG are even duller than the MANBAG itself but in the unlikely event that they’re of interest to you, read about it here.


Pictured below is Mr. Frobisher’s more stylish MANBAG…




The contents of Frobi’s MANBAG are by far more interesting than Beast’s…




A few of the highlights in Mr. Frobisher’s MANBAG include the following (and I quote)…

My Colt Shower Shot attachment. As it says on the box "This water accessory easily installs onto any standard shower for an incredible burst of water pleasure and cleansing sensation. Soft, Jelly dong screws into the chrome flex hose for a secure mount. Unscrew shower head. Add washers to prevent water leak and screw in hose." This is an essential bit of kit, people still talk of my impression of the Trevi fountain in Rome when I hooked it up to the power shower in the changing rooms of the David Lloyd Sports Centre and shot artistic jets of water out of my mouth!

Red hankie ;-)

Leather cock strap to keep everything up together and give that "bulge appeal" that women like so much. The male equivalent of a push up bra.

Pro-Sport Jock Strap, well you never know when your going to be invited to a Underwear party!

Machismo magazine - Latino Bad Boy Issue! The Worlds #1 Latino Sex Magazine.

2 packets of king size rolling papers (pure hemp of course) with an eight of Red Lebanese Hash and a quarter ounce of sticky black Afghan cream hash (personal - for medical reasons, my Social Anxiety Disorder).



Bitches, I could go on about the fascinating contents of Mr. Frobisher’s manly MANBAG but you can read about it yourself here.




ANONYMOUS BOXER:

Boxer invited her readers to send in photographs of their bulletin boards.

We here at Infomaniac think it was a fab idea and may consider doing this with our own bitches in future.

A personal fave was Old Knudsen’s bulletin board…



Click the pic to read his Post-it notes and observe the poked-out eyes of Oprah, Dr. Phil and the Sarah Palin family.




FIRST NATIONS:

Nations outdid herself this week with tales from the womens washroom.



And if that wasn’t hilarious enough, read “You gotta wash yo ass!

The bitch is a brilliant writer. Get yo ass over there if you haven’t paid her a visit yet.



KAPITANO:

Someone wanted to give our Kapi a blowjob at midnight but Kapi had a headache.



Then, again at midnight, someone wanted to give Kapi a deep, long, wet blowjob.

But they cancelled!



EROSWINGS:

Eros presented a display of World War II propaganda recruiting posters.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...






OLD KNUDSEN:

Old Knudsen pointed out to us that our Donn Coppens (Homo Escapeons) and Jeremy Beadle were separated at birth!


Donnnnnnn


Jeremy Beadle the late king of British pranksters.




And last but not least…

A belated Happy Birthday (November 15th) to Canada’s own WW in Winnipeg, Manitoba!


Donnnn (left) with Winky Weinerhead the birthday boy



AND FINALLY…


NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK

Hey everybody, it’s LEAH!




Being that I’m in pain and too lazy to make up anything original about this great gal, I’ll just copy and paste what it says in her Blogger Profile…

I'm working on my criminal justice dissertation, and I sort of keep house in Brooklyn for my husband Sgt. Pepper, my 7-year-old daughter Hedgehog, an ancient mutt, a hamster, and a beta fish; I play violin and mandolin; I knit, bead, and crochet. Our house is overrun with projects, thousands of books, and hundreds of skeins of yarn.

Want to know more? Then read her “100 Things About Me.”

Don’t have time? Well lucky you! I’ve copied the highlights below!...

I’ve always had a thing for a man in uniform.

I’ve never been really drunk.

I love hamsters.
(Note to Leah: If you love hamsters, you'll love the
hamster wheel!...even though it's a gerbil.)

I’ve always had very vividly characterized imaginary boyfriends, even when I’ve had actual real boyfriends. My first “boyfriends” were Kirk and Spock. My current one is Severus Snape.

I am deeply ashamed of my rampant materialism.

When I was little, I used to borrow my cousin’s bra and wear it around stuffed with cotton balls.

I am not a prude. In fact, sometimes I think I’m as far from a prude as one can be.

I adore canned chicken spread.

I have White Trash in me from my dad’s side. I embrace it.

I love prescription tranquilizers.

I am so glad that I’m a woman.


Mistress MJ would just like to add one more thing about Leah…

She has admitted that she has a thing for Old Knudsen!

I think I can speak for Anonymous Boxer, Carnalis, Savannah and First Nations when I say, “Back off, bitch!”

45 comments:

  1. oh, and,

    SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll third that!

    My week was spent on pins and needles waiting to talk to a certain someone... and talk we did.... and now I am a happy girl!

    My house no longer looks like a crackhouse.

    I am working way too much.

    MJ, if you ain't having babies, get that damned flaming uterus ablated and have done with it. You are always having cramps for gawd's sake, girl! I would have had it done years ago (if I had known about it) but am now going through "The Change" so I should be done with mine fairly soon. Which won't be soon enough...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is Donn standing on a box or is he really 6'15"?????

    Something's not right with that pic of him and WW.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And what ranch do all these damn sissy cowgirls come from?

    They look about as useless as tits on a bull, for pete's sake!

    Oh... and Donn's cuter than Jeremy by a long shot, but the family resemblance is definitely there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What are Donn and WW drinking, anyways? Shots of milk??

    What kind of a birthday celebration is that?

    Can you tell I have nothing to do this evening????

    ReplyDelete
  6. BOXER: Second is the new first.

    PONYGIRL: If you don't put a lid on it soon, I'm going to throw my flaming uterus at you.

    That'll learn ya.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll just give it to the cat to play with - she likes flinging things about.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ***snatches up MANBAG and flounces off ***

    ReplyDelete
  9. You forgot all the celebrity bithday wishes goodness over at my blog.

    It is fabulous!

    Nice idea from AB hmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Have a happy period MJ!

    By the way... there are coffee rings to the side of Beast's bag... he could at least wipe his surfaces...
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Donn and Jeremy - awesome - but not as awesome as those naked soldiers.
    Where do I sign up??

    ReplyDelete
  12. Best laugh I've had in days... :-)

    I've had the snip and my cramps have gone too. Wonders of modern medical science, eh?

    Thankfully I didn't know that there was a manbag event going on. To be honest, I didn't even know that I had a manbag. But it appears that I do. It is boring. So very, very, boring.

    However, I hope that one day I can rise my blogging to a level at which I too can be featured on such a posting from MJ. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. PONYGIRL: My uterus is not a plaything, I'll have you know.

    BEAST: *sprays Febreeze liberally as Beast exits*

    CYBERPOOF: I did NOT forget you.

    IF you had read carefully, you'd see that I said. The following is an abbreviated edition of the Blogging Roundup.

    Do you see Ponygirl complaining that she's not included? Or Scarlet ? Or Kaz?

    Look how many people are on my Blogroll. I can't possibly include everyone without hiring more houseboys to take dictation!

    I WAS going to do a post ALL about YOU tomorrow but you can forget it now.

    SCARLET: There is NOTHING happy about it!

    *wrings necks of advertisers*

    KAZ: If you get involved with the troops we'll soon be hearing about your "discharge".

    FAMULUS: Frobi says, You've all been MeMe'd - lets see what ya got in yourbags!

    So let's see what you've got!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wonderful stuff, you've made Mondays interesting MJ.

    ReplyDelete
  15. FROBI: Thank you, Mr. Frobisher.

    It is nice to be appreciated.

    *glares at CyberPoof*

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jessas, Rucksack-Renaissance!
    What next? Smallish pepita-hats?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm terribly sorry dear. All in great fun eh?

    (I understand you Canadians like to use that word eh?)

    Oh by the way, I thought that you had IDV and Beastie as houseboys for that exact purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  18. DAISY: Yay!

    MAGO: What is a pepita hat?

    Is it worn with lederhosen?

    LEAH: See how fabulous you are?

    CYBERPOOF: If you grovel, I’ll post about you tomorrow, eh?

    IVD and Beast are useless and I’ve had to seek help locally.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey...Leah's been around for a while. What did she do to deserve new cunt of the week? And what do I have to do to earn the title?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm back, once the humiliation ebbed a bit. I have been around for awhile, but still I was a New Cunt Virgin...or somethin'...

    Don't worry, ladies, no competition for Knudsen...it's just that Knudsen is the New Severus! So fierce, so rude, so pasty...mmm...

    ReplyDelete
  21. And what do I have to do to earn it and what would you call it if I did earn it?

    I neeeeeeeeeeed to know...

    ReplyDelete
  22. RANDOM: If you’d been paying attention to the November 3rd Blogging Roundup, you’d have seen your name mentioned as a potential “New Cunt.”

    I stopped posting Blogging Roundups for a period of about 14 months and have only recently started them up again so “New Cunts” are anyone who’s joined us in the last 14 months.

    To save you the bother of going back to that post, I’ll reiterate…

    New Cunts are you bitches who’ve been reading Infomaniac for 14 months or less and are frequent commenters.

    Off the top of my head, that would be Leah, Heff, Maxi Cane, T-Bird, Random Chick, Ponygirl, Anonymous Boxer and Miss Scarlet.

    Am I missing anyone?

    Or did you miss out on being a New Cunt back when I was posting the Blogging Roundup on a regular basis? Then now’s your chance!

    Simply send me a wee blurb about yourself; where you’re from, your interests, etc. and you too can be initiated as a new Infomaniac bitch.

    LEAH: I just KNOW you’re slobbering over Old Knudsen.

    Cease and desist!

    Did you watch the hamster video?

    FAMULUS: See comment to Random Chick and consider yourself a potential New Cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  23. IVD and Beast are useless

    ****flounces out again****

    ReplyDelete
  24. That gerbil was hilarious. I watched it like 5 times. I guess he just couldn't handle his own momentum! I'm putting him on my sidebar.

    ReplyDelete
  25. BEAST: Perhaps if you'd worn the pinny like I asked you to, we wouldn't be having this discussion!

    *snaps rubber gloves and looks around for more obedient houseboy*

    LEAH: Only 5 times?

    I am obviously more easily amused than you but I won't reveal the actual number.

    ReplyDelete
  26. All right, 17. But we won't mention it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. LEAH: *negotiates hush money*

    ReplyDelete
  28. Can I be 'Fanny of the Day'? And do you ever do old cunts?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  29. SCARLET: Fanny Brit-style or fanny North American style?

    Funny you should mention Old Cunts, as I’ve been thinking about interviewing more of Infomaniac’s readers who’ve been around for a while such as this interview with Mr. Mutley.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Erm... Fanny Brit-style?

    Yep, Mutley is quite correct, Britsh girls will do almost anything for a cigarette - not just in Bridport.

    Yes please to more interviews!
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  31. You lot are all just too witty for me at the moment and I can't think of anything to say. Scarlet sort of hit me with a double-whammy, and I can't concentrate.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I hate it when I don't pay attention!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Pepita is the name of a caro-muster, it's most cotton, a Koeper-Bindung, variations include simple b/w-caro, but there is a wide range of variants. But mostly it is a small muster.

    For available examples:
    http://www.stoffe.de/Stoffe/Bekleidungsstoffe/Baumwollstoffe/Baumwollstoffe-Karos.htm?shop=fabfab&SessionId=&a=catalog&t=5&c=219&p=219

    http://www.brautkleid-brautkleider.net/product_info.php/products_id/1078
    A nice ladies' hat.

    http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muster_(Textil)
    The article is not too specialized.

    Pepita-hats are worn by murderers:
    http://www.tz-online.de/de/aktuelles/muenchen/artikel_41989.html

    It's perfect camouflage.

    ReplyDelete
  34. That's a lot of stuff in Frobisher's bag! Is he hitch hiking across Europe, staying in hostels and YMCAs?

    ReplyDelete
  35. old knudsen? What's the fascination all about? I mean I know where he came from and there is nobody and I mean nobody with an IQ over 90.......hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  36. SCARLET: Beast will do anything for a fag.

    Who’ll be our next interviewee?

    GINRO: Did Miss Scarlet hit you with her fanny?

    I’ve told her repeatedly not to do that.

    RANDOM: You and your ADD
    Are very BAD
    You must pay attention
    You’re driving me MAD.

    MAGO: Not Mistress MJ’s style at all.

    And definitely not to be paired with lederhosen.

    Thanks for clearing this up!

    CYBERPOOF: That’s better.

    If not tomorrow, then later this week.

    EROS: Mr. Frobisher’s bag is always packed and ready to go.

    MANUEL: You’ll be ousted from the Knudsen Nation for that kind of talk!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I was pleased to discover that Mr Beadle was famous for his trivial pursuit of general knowledge, the study of which is known as spermology.

    I should have flown over last January and taken over his duties on Win Beadle's Money.

    Why not?
    I know lots of useless stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  38. COPPENS: Lots of useless stuff?

    There's a place for you
    Somewhere a place for you
    Hold my hand and we're half way there.
    Hold my hand and I'll take you there
    Somehow,
    Someday,
    Somewhere!
    AT INFOMANIAC!

    ReplyDelete
  39. *spooky voice*

    the cap is mine

    *runs off, giggling*

    ReplyDelete
  40. uh, damn, how long have i been reading you, sugar? ;) xoxo

    (and for the record, i was a member of the k-nation ages ago!)

    ReplyDelete