Sunday, October 29, 2006

Time Out


(Thanks to Homo Escapeons for the pic)



Infomaniac returns on Friday, November 3rd.

Happy Halloween everyone!







And now, a crazy little ditty I’ve chosen for your Halloween enjoyment.

The late Screamin’ Jay Hawkins sings I Put A Spell On You…






And for all my fellow Canucks, here’s a special treat.

SCTV's Count Floyd (Joe Flaherty) previews upcoming feature Dr Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, with John Candy as Dr. Tongue.


October - Breast Cancer Awareness Month



Breast Cancer Awareness Month isn't over yet.

Get your mammogram.

Dirty Filthy Irish. Dirt.




Everyone knows that the Irish are a filthy race. But now there’s even more proof

Oirishmen Pat Burke and Alan Jenkins are selling bags of Irish soil to Irish Americans to sprinkle on their caskets.

As a Canadian with Irish ancestry, I can honestly say I’d like nothing more than to have Ireland’s cold earth on top of me.

But at $15.00 per bag, I might have to reconsider.

Official Irish Dirt has pledged to donate 80 percent of its profits to charity.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Sexsomniacs



Researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep.

More on sexsomnia.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Bad Case of Loving You

A song with a driving urgency.

The kind to accompany your mood when you feel that if you don’t see your lover NOW, you’ll chew your arm off.

Robert Palmer – Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)




I've got it bad, and I got it good

You Fucking Bunch of Miserable Cunts




No, not you! Not you indeed my blogging pals.

Them. The rest of ‘em.

You may know them as your employers, your spouses, your neighbours, the people who run your country.

Fucking Bunch of Miserable Cunts they are.

But you can’t tell them to their faces because you live in a World-Turned-Politically-Correct and they would make your life a living hell for eternity if you tell it like it is.

Fucking wankers.

Twats!

Where was I? Oh yes…

Is there anyone you’d like to tell off but risk eternal hellfire for doing so? And what, exactly, would you say to them?

G’won. Get it out of your system.

And you didn't hear anything I said here today. Afterall, I'm a laydee.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

HeMale or SheMale?



Some of these are women, and some of these are guys who just like to look like women. Can you tell the difference?

Take this quiz.

I got 10 out of 12 right, or about 83%.


Via [Lady Bunny]

Nutty Buddy




Fellas: Protect the family jewels with the Nutty Buddy.

Play the video while you’re there.



Via [grow-a-brain]

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Infomaniac Insomniac




Does anyone have a cure for chronic insomnia?

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in years. 3-4 hours a night. Sometimes less.

I’ve tried all the remedies. I even redecorated the bedroom.
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go."
-- Oscar Wilde's last words



I’m open to your suggestions. Help!

In the words of The Kinks’ Ray Davies…

You got me so I can’t sleep at night



You really got me.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Billy Bob Pacifiers




When nosey people ask why I never had children, I tell them it’s because I’m the type of mother who would buy Billy Bob Pacifiers for my babies.

Honestly, one Infomaniac on this planet is enough!

But Auntie MJ is going to buy a Billy Bob Pacifier for Geo and Maidink’s wee baby MJ when she’s born. Just wait and see.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Lay-dee Piggy

Remember how I told you that I’d warn you next time I posted pics of big willies or full-frontal nudity?

This posting contains viewer-sensitive material.

Therefore, I provide the following disclaimers:

Avoid contact with skin, Contents under pressure, Some assembly required, For recreational use only, Colors may, in time, fade, Driver does not carry cash, No bills over $20 accepted, Call toll free before digging, Apply only to affected area, No riders, No wagering, No solicitors, Do not stamp, Do not disturb, As seen on TV, One size fits all, Do not immerse, Place stamp here, Simulated picture, All rights reserved, Slippery when wet, For office use only, No American coins, Times approximate, Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients, Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment, Return to sender, no forwarding address on file, unable to forward, This information is subject to change without notice, Some settling of contents may occur during shipping, Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery, Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, Price does not include taxes, title, license, or destination charges, Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only, Dispose of properly, Edited for television, Use only as directed, Items sold separately, For off-road use only, Batteries not included, Don't try this at home, See label for sequence, Penalty for private use, Use unleaded fuel only, No purchase necessary, Your mileage may vary, Replace with same type, Booths for two or more, No alcohol, dogs, or horses, Do not write below this line, You must be present to win, Check here if tax deductible, Parental guidance suggested, First pull up, then pull down, For sale by prescription only, Sanitized for your protection, At participating locations only, Keep away from fire or flame, Prerecorded for this time zone, Void where prohibited or taxed, Not recommended for children, An equal opportunity employer, Use only in well-ventilated area, Reproduction strictly prohibited, All models over 18 years of age, No user-serviceable parts inside, Postage will be paid by addressee, Restaurant package, not for resale, List was current at time of printing, Sell before date stamped on carton, Some equipment shown is optional, This supersedes all previous notices, Your cancelled check is your receipt, Shading within a garment may occur, May be too intense for some viewers, Do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate, Freshest if eaten before date on carton, Be sure each item is properly endorsed, No other warranty expressed or implied, Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, Post office will not deliver without postage, If condition persists, consult your physician, Employees and their families are not eligible, Do not purchase if seal has been tampered with, We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, This is not a competition, it is only an exhibition, Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement, No postage necessary if mailed in Canada, This product is meant for educational purposes only.


If you wish to continue and view the photograph of Piggy’s sex change, just scroll down a wee bit.


Go ahead NOW.


Otherwise, avert your eyes.





Oink!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Musical Interlude: Try – Blue Rodeo

Fellow Canucks (you know who you are) have said to me, “You’re a Canadian, eh? How come you don’t have more Canadian content on your blog, eh?’

So, in an attempt to fulfill my CanCon requirements, here’s a musical interlude from Canadian band Blue Rodeo.

Just because it’s a beautiful song and because…


I’m falling in love
oh night after night.....
oh its CRAZZ-ya-zzy.


Friday, October 20, 2006

You Make Me Feel Mighty Real


The Fabulous Sylvester


Do you know someone who makes you feel mighty real?

Then sing along with the late disco diva Sylvester and celebrate the feeling!

Warning to straight blokes: Video clip may be just a bit poofy.

Warning to those with Disco allergies: Excessive exposure to satin hot pants may cause reaction.

Click here for video.

Update:

Infomaniac recommends this excellent biography …

The Fabulous Sylvester: The Legend, the Music, the 70s in San Francisco by Joshua Gamson

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A Guide to Self-Control




Self pollution: the addiction nobody dares to talk about.

Here’s a guide to overcoming temptation.



Via [Information Junk]

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I’m Going Straight to Hell




I’m going straight to Hell. Especially after yesterday’s ‘Big Willies’ posting.

Yet another obvious danger of blogs is the endless amount of inappropriate content often spread throughout them. This happens on a host of levels: filthy language, risqué pictures, etc.


Uh oh. *gulps*

Then there is the danger of addiction. Literally some become so addicted to blogging, posting and instant messaging that other parts of their lives are neglected.


I’m damned for eternity!

More here on the evils of blogging.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Caution: NSFW Warning





Caution.


Images of big willies coming up in the next posting.


Not Safe For Work


But it's not too late.


Turn back now!

Big Willies


SID and his outrageously huge willy: a millennium ahead of his time

[photo by Piggy]

BY the year 3000, the average human will be 6½ft tall, have coffee-coloured skin and live for 120 years, new research predicts.

And the good news does not end there.

Blokes will be chuffed to learn their willies will get bigger — and women’s boobs will become more pert.


Still no word on how much bendier willies will become.


Filthay Steve’s bendy bit

[photo by Piggy]

Monday, October 16, 2006

Anagram Genius



An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters of one word or phrase to form another word or phrase.

Use Anagram Genius to rearrange the letters of your name (or anything else) to spell something different.


'tazzy and piggy'
anagrams to
'Dizzy tangy gap.'

'stupid irish daddy'
anagrams to
'It is prudish daddy.'



Via [Neatorama]

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Name Geo and Maidink’s Baby




By now you know that Geo and Maidink are expecting a baby brother or sister in June for Dinkerdoodles. Yay!

If it’s a girl, hands up if you think they should name it after Auntie MJ?

And if it’s a boy, after Uncle Piggy?

Or what say you? Now’s your chance to

NAME GEO AND MAIDINK’S BABY!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Scissor Sisters – Filthy Gorgeous

Piggy, Tazzy, SID, Steve, Carly, Pink, Awaiting and all the rest of you lot.

Good craic last night!

Sorry I’ve not been around there much lately. Great to be back!



You're an acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy daddy bastard

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Today is National Just A Bit Poofy Day!

"No, you are not a gay. I am the gay. You're probably just a little bit poofy!"
- Daffyd Thomas




Steve: Grand Marshal of the Just A Bit Poofy Parade


Okay, you gays have had your day in the spotlight. Buncha queens. Clear off.

By an Order of Parliament, I hereby declare October 12, 2006 the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day.

And who better to lead the parade as Grand Marshal than our Steve.

Steve hails from deepest, darkest Dorset and his hobbies include wanking.

“But wait,” you say. “Isn’t he married to Carly? How can be just a bit poofy?”

Take a look at his pic (above) and tell me that a penchant for wearing red rubber outfits isn’t just a bit poofy. That and the fact that he likes rugby players’ pert botties. And he’s on the blower to Yorkshire’s finest poofs twice a day and sends them secret text messages when Carly’s not around.

And where is Carly anyway? The big fag hag’s run off with Will Young leaving Steve to get up to all sorts. Filthy bugger is in his element with Just A Bit Poofy Day. Just look at him. Wanker. Disgusting he is.

Well that’s all fine and good, you say. We have our Grand Marshal. Yay. Now bring on the dancing girls!

That’s our cue to introduce the lovely Miss Tickers






Steelworker by day, just a bit poofy by night, our Tickers is the official baton twirler in this, the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day Parade.

Tickers qualifies as just a bit poofy for oh so many reasons. (See hotpants above) Don’t blame the 70s.

Like Daffyd Thomas, Tickers is from Wales and is giving Daffyd of Llandewi Breffi a run for his money as the only gay in the village. No wait! Sorry Tickers. You’re just a bit poofy.


QUIZ! HOW GAY ARE YOU?




This is a GAY

Daffyd Thomas is the only gay in his village. Are you a gay too? Or just a bit poofy? Take our simple test to see if you would enjoy sex with men, just like Daffyd could if he would.

If you answer more "yes" then "no"... I am afraid you are a gay :-)

1. Is Madonna a goddess? Is Kylie a personal icon for you?
2. Is drag amusing and do you have your own drag name in mind?
3. Are relationships a new concept to you?
4. Have you ever owned a whistle and marched through a city with lots of poofs and lezzas proclaiming your gaiety?
5. Have you had sex in a toilet or outside with a stranger? If not, is it on your "things to do" list?
6. Do you know the moves to at least 2 songs by Steps?
7. Have you been to see a musical at the theatre and enjoyed it?
8. Do you own anything with a rainbow on it, especially a freedom flag?
9. Do you have a bald head, a goatee beard, a tattoo, or all of the above?
10. Have you slept with lots of men whose names escape you?
11. Do you find Ab Fab or Victoria Wood funny?
12. Do you go to the gym? Are you really slim and body conscious?
13. Is anything but pop music un-listenable to you? Are boy bands a good idea?
14. Do you drink a fair bit? Take 2 bottles into the shower?
15. Have you ever expressed an interest in interior design?
16. Can you bitch for England?
17. Have you ever worn a crop top?
18. Are fashion labels essential to your self-image?
19. Have you had a fling with someone off the internet? Or at least wanted to?
20. Do you fancy men and are one yourself?

Quiz source:project76.tv

Happy National Just A Bit Poofy Day!

Everybody dance now!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Celebrate National Coming Out Day with Queer Duck




In this episode, Queer Duck celebrates October 11th, National Coming Out Day.

And here’s the complete Queer Duck collection.



Via [the peculiar one]

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Get The Queen OFF Canadian Money

I love a good Rick Mercer rant…

Monday, October 09, 2006

Caption This!

I’d planned a posting today about Canadian Thanksgiving which we’re celebrating this weekend.

But just as I was mashing the potatoes, along comes THIS image from hell and completely threw me off my turkey dinner…




Tazzy and Piggy



Caption this pic. I know it disgusts you and makes you feel filthy but it’s got to be done.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Musical Interlude – Norah Jones

Regular zaniness will resume Monday on Infomaniac.

In the meantime,

Come Away With Me…

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Geo’s on the Road Again

Maidink’s man GEO heads back out on the open road today in his pickup.

Geo, we dedicate this Canuck tune to ya, b’y.

Long may your big jib draw. (translation: good luck to ya)

And keep in touch.


Stompin' Tom Connors - Margo's Cargo





Have you heard the news in Newfoundland, rolling around The Rock,
How Reggie brought for Margie home a cowsie dungsie clock?
With Margie being a farm girl, she almost took a fit,
To find the cowsie dungsie clock was really made of it.

The clock was from Toronto and her mind was soon made up,
She said to Reggie, "Get the cow and load her on the truck."
We're heading for Ontario and we're off to make her big,
'Cause Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.

Reggie's got the rig, Reggie's got the rig;
Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.


Now they're rolling thru the Maritimes and the truck was nearly full,
The cow began to bawl, she was lonesome for the bull;
The Mountie pulled them over "Is there something I can do?"
"Go right ahead, sir," Margie said, "climb in the back and moo!"

Now when they got to Montreal they missed the Autoroute,
But they found that everyone in town was glad to help them out;
"The sooner you hit Toronto," they said, "the sooner you'll make ‘er big,"
'Cause Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.

Reggie's got the rig, Reggie's got the rig;
Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.

Now the truck was overflowin’ when Toronto hit the rise
The 401 was full of dung and the cab was full of flies
We're losin lots of money Reg, We can't afford to stop
We gotta find the place that makes the cowsie dungsie clock

Well I wish ya coulda been there on the corner of Queen and Yonge.
When Margo found the company and she dumped her load a dung!
And when she found the office she was singin and doin a jig!
Margo's got the cargo b’ys and Reggie's got the rig!

Reggie's got the rig, Reggie's got the rig;
Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.

It was later in the evenin’ when they heard from Mr. Judge
"I don't know what to give yas, but I'll never hold a grudge!"
I tink a tousand dollars would be fair to hand ya down
And thirty days of lodging will be free upon da town!

Now Margo says to Reggie, "What a helluva deal we struck!"
"We mighta lost da cow, b’y, but still we got da truck!"
And now they're back in Newfoundland, They're loadin up the the pig
Cause Margo got da cargo, b’y and Reggie's got da rig!

Reggie's got the rig, Reggie's got the rig;
Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.
Margo's got the cargo, b'y, and Reggie's got the rig.

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Top 10 Stupidest Places in the UK


Hull MP John "Two Jags" Prescott


1. Hull
2. Stoke
3. Liverpool
4. Bradford
5. Glasgow
6. Wolverhampton
7. Newcastle
8. Nottingham
9. Leicester
10. Birmingham

More results from the Men's Health magazine study…

Poorest city: Hull
Cheapest city to live in: Hull
Cleverest city: Edinburgh
Rudest city: Manchester
Best-dressed city: Manchester
Worst-dressed city: Stoke
Safest city: Swansea
Most dangerous city: Glasgow
Drunkest city: Glasgow
Best sense of humour: Liverpool
Most polite: Cardiff
Best all-round place to set up home: Bristol

Read the full article in The Sun.

Infomaniac…reading The Sun for you so you don’t have to be seen buying it.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Best Shaggin’ Wagon


Above: Infomaniac's choice - The Volvo P1800
Looks likes this lucky lady is being chatted up already. Don't just stand there! Get your motor runnin'....head out on the highway!



If this car is rockin’ don’t bother knockin’.

The Volvo Estate has been voted the best car to have sex in.

The poll revealed 68 per cent of people have had nookie in a car. And one in ten say they have actually engaged in sex WHILST DRIVING.

The poll does not reveal whether or not, like our friend First Nations, they honked the horn with their arse.

The Top 10 “passion wagons”


1. Volvo Estate
2. Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van
3. VW Camper Van
4. BMW 3 Series Saloon
5. Ford Escort
6. Audi TT
7. Land Rover Discovery
8. Porsche Carrera
9. VW Golf
10. Ford Focus




"A red Volvo P1800 is best," says Infomaniac. "Not very spacious, but stylish as Hell."

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Yorkshire Airlines

Yorkshire Airlines.

Departs in Leeds International Airstrip. Touching down 20 minutes later at Leeds International Airstrip.

Because if it’s outside Yorkshire, it’s not worth bloody visiting.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Get a Room!





Ahhhhhhhh, the great outdoors.

Fun, isn’t it? Until you realize someone may be watching. (NSFW) (scroll down for pics)

So come on … tell us where you’ve humped your honey in public.



Via [Attu]

Monday, October 02, 2006

SID Wins the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts!

Our Stupid Irish Daddy (SID) is the winner of the much coveted Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts! Click here for the story.

SID promises to model the Elf Shorts for us as soon as possible … in a stupid or filthy pose.

In the meantime, you’ll have to be content with this sneak preview of SID sporting the shorts in a clean-cut, G-rated portrait …






What kind of pose would you like to see SID strike for the camera in his Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts?

Please leave your suggestions in the comment box.

Dirty Laundry



Bring the fun back to housework.

Introducing the "Orgasmatron 3000."

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Easy Rider







Photos via [It Burns When I Pee]

Temptation

I love this version of Temptation and it’s not going to get out of my head this weekend unless I play the hell out of it at work today.

Canada’s own Diana Krall…



Rusted brandy in a diamond glass
everything is made from dreams
time is made from honey slow and sweet
only the fools know what it means
temptation, temptation, temptation
I can't resist
I know that he is made of smoke
but I've lost my way
he knows that I am broke
but I must pay
temptation, temptation, temptation
I can't resist
Dutch pink and Italian blue
he’s there waiting for you
my will has disappeared
now confusion is oh so clear
temptation, temptation, temptation
I can’t resist


And while I’m at it, I’ll listen to the original Tom Waits version too.